• Member Since 25th Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen January 9th

NeverEatTheLemonsAlone


I enjoy long walks on the beach, dressing up for a formal occasion, and descending into the depths of technicolor horsey madness.

T
Source

22 years after a devastating civil war following the disappearance of the Celestial Diarchy, the world has changed. The empire of New Harmony fans out across most of the known globe, subsuming everything in its path that dares resist its rule.

Rainbow "Danger" Dash is an ex-military pegasus hiding from the empire she tried to bring down in the slums of New Canterlot, making her living as a mundane mechanic.

Duchess Rarity Belle is a silver-tongued diplomat living in Old Canterlot. She advises the current acting regent, Lady Steward Twilight Sparkle, while waiting for balance to return to New Harmony. Behind her perfect facade, though, something else hides.

AJ is an earth pony farmer who, tired of the increasingly ridiculous tax on selling fresh fruit, has come to the capitol to appeal to the Lady Steward, so that she can feed her ever-growing family.

The three meet, quite by chance, and begin, driven from their homes, on a mission to change the world, and to alter the course of history. Not all harmony is created equal, and peace is only found at the end of a long, bloody road.

Chapters (5)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 25 )

Will all the chapters be this long?

8057546 Ideally, yes. My chapters in previous stories have all been rather short, so I'm trying my hand at denser, more content-rich chapters.

A few questions.

Is Applejack really a farmer or some kind of regional functionary?

Her ability to get an appointment with Lady Steward over the increase in taxes in this government-type seems extremely improbable. Her arrogance to get into a minor altercation with a shop owner when she was still sick from the flight and him not just calling for the local authorities suggests she has some authority to wield, yet she has already been confirmed not to have anything token-wise to identify her as such. She treated Rainbow the same way. She was even embarrassed that she wasn't dressed as other ponies like the ceremonial guard.

Why did Applejack go to New Canterlot after her petition?

She had no business there. If she had been told that her airship wasn't leaving, she'd logically look into local lodging near the airship port or try and go back to the palace and see about what red tape was involved. What would have been better is if the Duchess pulled her out of harm's way before any notice could be officially distributed to checkpoints, like the airship port. Then, the Duchess, with Applejack, could have fled to see if the engine was repaired.

Why did Duchess Belle seek out Applejack?

She can't have been the first petitioner and certainly wouldn't be the last. Even petitioners going missing will have tongues wagging. The answer might be spoiler territory and doesn't have to be answered, but it should be thought upon if it hasn't.

How did Dash not get caught after so long?

Her hair, attitude, and set of learned skills isn't something to forget and I'm sure with as many steps as New Harmony did in wiping as much of the Alliance out as possible, even she would be smart enough to find some way to go incognito. Yet, she yells loud enough to be heard in the streets about how terrible the new government is all in an attempt to get some parts, she apparently is trying to find some way to get back to repairing airship engines(even belonging to her old enemies), a guard of New Harmony recognizes her even though there is stigma attached between residents of Old and New Canterlot, and the first conversation between Duchess and Dash in her shop is ridiculous. Duchess evidently knew of her ability to fix engines when it was pointed out that Dash hasn't worked on them since she was in the Alliance.

Why is Duchess breaking off her association with Lady Steward?

Probably more spoiler territory, so it doesn't have to be answered at this time; it is something to consider. Her household will probably be purged considering she had a hangar hidden and that couldn't have possibly gone unnoticed that long without paid silence even if she thought she was being sneaky. She either had to dig it out herself or hire help. She had to purchase or acquire explosives. She had to make sure there was power to work. She had to build it herself or hire help. If she did things herself, there would be large quantities of time that would have to be explained away being Lady Steward's personal assistant.

Does Spike even exist in this AU?

Duchess is Lady Steward's personal assistant or I think you would have introduced Spike when Applejack was before Steward. Apparently Cadence exists as a specialized mechanical/magical piece of equipment.

How did Lady Steward know Granny Smith but not Applejack?

This could have just been a lie on her part, but I'm sure Applejack would have been mentioned/introduced if she was being groomed to run the farm, large family or small. It doesn't make sense to send someone useful to farmwork to petition unless they're in a lead position and have authority to speak on everypony's behalf(aka more useful in petitioning than working).

I'm interested in where this goes and amazed at the length of the first chapter. These are just a few things that bug me. Don't let this stop you. :ajsmug:

8059028 Holy shit, thanks! I always need more constructive criticism like this. This is fantastic!

As a courtesy announcement, there have been a few edits made to the first chapter to fix some plotholes and story problems. It might be worth your while to give it a second read.

Hmmm, it's the Rainbow Dash has mutilated wing(s) and can't fly cliché

8065216 Seemed fitting for a story that takes place mostly in the sky.

Comment posted by Spacemarine64 deleted Apr 3rd, 2017

Welp, I am so hooked on this story. This is now one of my absolute favorite stories on this website. And it's only the second chapter. I cannot wait for the next one.

Also, do you have an update schedule, or do you just update as you type?

8070325 I update as I type. I'm somewhat sporadic and very busy.

And thank you. It means a lot.

8070718 It's no problem man, I really mean it when I say this is one of the best. :)

8065216 funnily enough, this is the first story with your so called ' cliché ' that I have ever seen

Loving this story, really am, just don't forget male protagonists exist m'kay?
Edit: Realized how sexist my comment sounds, didnt mean it in any way like that

8073580 No worries, more males in general incoming on chapter 3.

Time is up, Lyra. You must leg it if you want to live.

This is truly interesting, I hope to see it continue! -tracking-

8253259

Much appreciated! New chapter is up, I hope it's to your liking!

So once again Rainbow goes West... awesome story

8262795
Woot! New chapter!! Though I feel so bad for Applejack... she's in such a crap position and is truly struggling here. :( :ajsleepy:

I hope Rarity and Rainbow make it back ok and I hope the three become better friends and whatnot. (Not gonna lie I'm also a mega rarijack shipper so I hold out hope... even though it is very unlikely lol) :raritywink:

I just want them all to be okay! :raritydespair:

Hmmm... Rarity seems like she's trying to be tactical here, realizing that her options are limited. Though I hope AJ is able to find them and meet up again. And definitely hope she can save them.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!