The Days Passed

by SilverEyedWolf

Crystalline Tears

Author's Note:

Heya guys. I think I have some of the ADD. Been self-medicating with some basic caffeine pills (no worries guys, I'm keeping a handle on how much and whens) and I ground this out in the last... seven hours? Gonna talk to a doctor and see how that goes.

Anyhow! Hope you guys like this one. Let me know of any weird stuffs, I'll fix it.

Spike spun around in the four-way cross-section of the hallways he found himself, frowning heavily. He'd made his way over to the library outside of the castle first, on a hunch, but according to the master of books there he'd missed the duo by mere moments.

Sighing, he'd quickly hustled back to the castle, taking a few moments to measure out the best path on a weird paper map that he'd found stuck to the bottom of one of his paws before he left the library.

Once he'd arrived, however, the door guard had let him know that Fluttershy hadn't made it back yet. He'd asked the guard to ask her to meet him in the dining room, and then asked where it was.

And now here he rotated slowly, eyeing each identical hallway as he slowly turned.

"I'm starting to feel like a rotisserie in Gryphus," he muttered before picking a way at random. Left, left, right, straight through this hallway...

He ran into a window and grinned to himself as he looked down into the gardens that he'd rested in before. Turning the latch he shoved the window up, then looked straight down at the storey-high drop.

He scoffed before he pulled himself out onto the slight ledge, the talons on his feet keeping him suspended as he pulled the window most of the way closed. Then, slipping his tail into the small opening he'd left, he turned and leaned his top half down, until he was almost doing a head-stand. Letting go with his tail he dropped to his forepaws, then rolled onto the soft grass with a sigh.

A gentle clopping caught his ears, and his head shot up to look at the two guards on either side of the garden that were putting their hooves together for his maneuver.

"Ah yes, thank you, thaaank youuuu," he muttered with a wide, awkward grin, before dropping his head back into the lawn and sighing.

He let himself rest for a minute before rolling over and walking towards the nearest guard, who dropped his speaking stone from his ear as Spike approached.

"Uhm, can I get directions to the main dining area, please?"

The guard gave him a strange look before hiding their smile behind a hoof. Coughing a couple of times, the guard trained the same hoof on a familiar window on the second floor. "Straight through there, and three doors to the east."

Spike gazed blankly at the pony.

"Of course, there's a stairway in the door behind me, if you'd like to take it and then a couple of rights instead?"

-------------------------

Shining Armor looked up as Spike walked into the main dining area, panting slightly.

"Woo there bud, you look like you just got done sprinting a lap," he said, smiling and waving Spike over to the table, where several holograms were playing out over slates of marble.

"More like mountain climbing, actually," Spike said, wiping his forehead with a paw and wandering over to the unicorn.

On his way over though, another member of the guard trotted up to him from the side of the room, an earth crystal pony.

"Apologies sirs," she said with a dip of the head, "but I have an update for Mr. Spike. Lady Fluttershy had arrived at the castle, and wants us to let you know that she's freshening up in her rooms and will meet you here for dinner."

"Oh, okay," he said, a little disappointed to be losing time with her. "Thank you for letting me know, ma'am."

She nodded before retreating back to the side of the room she'd been posted at.

"Always sucks when the ladies are busy, huh?" said Shining with a small, understanding smile. "That's alright though, because now I get to show off this stuff!" he said with a wave at the table, still sparkling with tablets and magical moving pictures.

"Oh, uh, sure?" Spike said, walking over to the table and checking out the flashing, slightly grainy images. "This looks pretty intricate. What's up, are you designing drills, or maybe some super cool stealth mission thing?"

"Way more important, and wayyyy cooler," Shining said, nodding to a holographic chart with a massive list of names on it with a giant grin.

"Fantasy. Buckball. Drafts."

Spike dropped his head into his paws and groaned quietly.

ꭓꭓꭓꭓꭓꭓꭓꭓꭓꭓꭓꭓꭓꭓꭓꭓꭓꭓꭓꭓꭓꭓꭓꭓꭓꭓꭓꭓ

Cadance pranced into the dining room, smiling when she saw two of her favorite ponies flanking her favorite drake.

"No, dad, look at it this way," Flurry Heart murmured, switching two of the tablets on the table. "Way stronger starting offense, and she's proven herself fifty times over. Even if her accuracy isn't the best, with this defense the team will be unstoppable."

Shining shook his head, swapping two of the other tablets. "He's got that bum wing, from last season, remember? With this defender though, and this catcher, your gal might be unstoppable," he pulled forward another trio, showing three completely different ponies. "Until they come up to these three."

Flurry let loose a raspberry. "You couldn't pay Thunder Hawk and Lightning Swirl to play on the same team."

Shining smiled. "Which is why this is Fantasy Buckball," he said, nodding to the table.

Spike moaned quietly, lifting his head long enough to toss a small white tablet into his mouth along with a cupful of what smelled like very strong tea and a little alcohol, then returning it to his cupped paws.

Cadance shimmied around the table and over to Spike, crouching beside him.

"How long have they been at this?" she whispered to him.

"I think I've been here for eighty hours," Spike said into his hands. "Flurry got here about halfway between then and now."

Cadance looked over to the crystal guard at the side of the room, who mouthed, two hours.

Cadance chuckled before standing up and clearing her throat. "Dears, my darlings? I think it's time to put your decks away, it's nearly time for dinner."

Shining and Flurry both jumped, with her dropping a tablet loudly on the table.

"Oh, uh, sure honey," Shining said with a wilted smile, his horn lighting as two cases floated over and scooped up the slates on the table, clearing the surface of the flickering, moving pictures of ponies. "Uh, sorry about that Spike. Today's the first day and all, and I wanna make sure I draft correctly before Flurry here gets her and her friend's teams up and running."

"It's cool, Shining," Spike said with a sigh, straightening his spine. "It's just not something I can get into, yeah?"

Shining smiled and offered a hoof, which Spike returned with a balled fist.

"I get it, it's not every pony's thing," he said, storing the cases in a corner of the room. "Still, got your mind off of things for a bit, yeah?"

Spike chuckled, nodding his head. "I guess it did."

The ones present that weren't sitting yet took up places at the table, and the neatly uniformed pegasus that had brought Spike his tea trotted out of the door beside the guardspony. She took drink requests and bowed slightly before heading back out of the room, leaving the family to fall into an easy chatter between the mother and her husband and their daughter, the duo very briefly speaking with her about their sports picks before moving on to state and other matters.

Spike, for his part, finally fully relaxed as he listened idly to their natter. A smile slowly grew across his muzzle as he breathed in the steam from his fresh tea, and he fully settled into the chair.

His smile widened when he saw the main entrance door open a bit, before a yellow muzzle poked through, followed by a pair of wonderfully blue eyes. His smile did halt though, when that set of eyes matched his before quickly wrinkling and turning downward, despite the slightly strained smile on her face.

"Fluttershy?" he half asked, tensing his legs to get up.

"Hi Spike," she called, as loud as she ever got, while she trotted over to the table. She reached the table and stretched her neck over it to nuzzle the drake, before retracting a bit and giving him a nervous smile. "Uhm, Rarity arrived this afternoon."

"Ah," he said, his eyes focusing on the door. He licked his lips, his mouth suddenly sand-papery. "Well, she should, uhm, join us for dinner?" he asked, glancing over at Cadance, who had stiffened.

"Well," she said slowly, looking over to the door and the large eyes hiding behind it from Spike, "I suppose that would be your call, Spike. As long as everything remains civil, as I expect it to, there shouldn't be any harm."

Spike nodded, then turned to the door and attempted a smile before sighing and just calling out, "Come on in Rarity, sorry."

Rarity pushed her head through the crack in the door, her blues nervously meeting his greens. "Are you sure dear? I can sit this one out if it makes you more comfortable?"

Since when are you so worried about how I feel/
Too much of coward suddenly, D-a-r-l-i-n-g?

Spike's head rocked back a little as the dual thoughts roared through his head, snorting fire as he shook the thoughts out of his head. "Yeah Rarity, it'll be okay. C'mon in, please?"

She slowly nodded, before walking slowly over and taking a place beside Fluttershy and across from Spike, next to Shining who was near the head of the table. Flurry was directly across from her dad, and Spike was a bit down the table from her. Cadance, of course, was at the head of the table.

"Well, with that settled," Cadance started, "I believe we can start dinner. Lowery, if you could let us know what the kitchen has been up to this afternoon while Miss Rarity orders her beverage?"

The same uniformed pegasus nodded as she tucked away a piece of note parchment under her wing.

Spike tuned out as she spoke, looking at his empty place setting and breathing slowly, attempting to control his rushing thoughts. Eventually, he was able to at least wrangle it into a background of white noise, and he slowly lifted his head to look across the table.

Fluttershy was there, and gave him a worried smile as they met with their eyes.

It took a moment, and a deep breath, but he was able to conjure up at least a wan smile. She smiled a little more herself, and that was enough to relax him as he breathed out and turned his head to look at the white mare next to his marefriend.

It almost felt like time slowed down as he studied Rarity.

The first thing he noticed was a slight glittering in her one of her eyelashes as she spoke with Lowery; not the sparkle of one of her elegant eye shadows filled with gems but the yellowish glint of a crust leftover from sleep. She'd probably been sleeping just before coming to dinner and had rushed through her routine to make it here in time.

Looking into her face, he felt his tension leaving as his eyes traced the bags under hers, almost covered by a simple concealer that obviously wasn't hers; I only almost matched her coat tinge.

He watched her speak with Cadance, watching her lightly glassy eyes as she smiled and made some pleasant small talk with the others at the table, briefly glancing at him before flitting away quickly. Small pools of blush slowly appeared as she spoke with Flurry about something he couldn't hear, he was far too focused on her...

"Spike?"

"She just looks so tired," he said out loud, before blinking and looking over at Fluttershy.

The table had quieted as he spoke, even as softly as he had said it, and Rarity's blush grew far more pronounced as she hid her eyes and muzzle behind her hooves.

"You were still staring pretty hard," Fluttershy chided, giving him a thin smile. "A mare could get jealous, Spike."

His shoulders slumped, and he held a paw across the table. "It wasn't that kind of staring, Flutters," he said softly.

She nodded, placing a hoof in his paw and smiling a bit more as he traced over the frog.

"I know," she said, nodding. "Still. It's rude."

He chuckled, nodding. "Yes, ma'am." He turned his head to Rarity, still tucked behind her hooves with just her eyes peering out at him. "Sorry. Lost in my head, and stuff."

Rarity nodded, then slowly dropped her hooves. "You always could tell. What gave it away?"

"Oh, uhm..." He looked over at Fluttershy, who cocked her head before she smiled at him. "Well, I noticed the concealer, which is a couple of shades off from the one you use whenever you have to pull an all-nighter. Oh, which means you probably only brought the emergency bags. Plus, you were napping right before dinner, when you would normally be getting ready, which means it was more than just a single all-night gig and you're wearing yourself too thin again. So I drug you not only away from a very important job, but with almost no warning as well."

He scratched the back of his head, dipping it towards the table. "Sorry, again. If you need some help with that project, I can lend a claw, of course..."

The table was silent for a moment, before he looked up at her.

Rarity, of course, was not bug-eyed, and she would throw hooves if anyone would even insinuate as such. Though she did eventually let a small chuckle slip, along with a single tear that she dotted at with her napkin.

"That's my Spike," she said hoarsely, before clearing her throat gently and taking a sip from her teacup. "Well, I will admit to having had my share of sleepless nights recently. If only it was as easy to deal with as a dress, or any other order.

"Spike, I've been sleeping so poorly for almost two weeks now, and I was pretty restless for a couple of months before that."

Cadance hummed as Spike nodded, his eyebrows furrowed.

"Yeah, uhm, I did notice that about five or so weeks before you-" He shook his head. "Hm, before we split, I noticed that when I slept over you either found a reason to stay up until I'd gone to sleep, or just didn't come to bed. I thought I'd done something wrong, until that day at least."

Rarity was quiet a bit, tapping the table gently with a hoof. "I thought it was because I felt guilty," she admitted. "I thought it was because I felt like I was leading you along, and I was starting to realize what I was going to do."

She shook her head.

"I thought I would sleep better afterward," she murmured, almost absent. "But it never got better. Then, when you told me about Fluttershy, it actually got worse."

She hummed to herself for a moment. "I don't think I've slept more than four hours in a row for the last two weeks."

Spike didn't say anything, couldn't think of anything to say.

"Why do you think that is, Rarity?" asked a feminine voice from the head of the table, and Spike jumped a bit as he remembered Cadance, and all of her family, at that end of the table.

"... I think it may be because I stopped just wanting Spike to be happy," Rarity almost whispered. "I think I started being happy with him. I think...

"I think part of me realized that I was starting to love him," she finished.

Spike breathed out, a hundred questions rushing into his head and just obliterating themselves into pieces of words, parts of questions running into each other and shredding into so much confetti. He sat and just breathed for a while, her head down and staring into a swirl of the wood.

"I would ask," he started, and she lifted her face and gazed at him with watery eyes.

"I would ask," he began again, "why you split with me if you thought, even subconsciously, that you could love me. But I think all three of us," he said, indicating Cadance as well, "know the popular answer to that question.

"Fear. You were afraid of loving me," he whispered, and she sniffled as she nodded. "Why, Rarity?"

She sighed and wiped at her nose with a napkin. "Well, there's the whole spiel. I've never really loved anyone other than my family, despite the number of want-to-be paramours I've trotted through the paces. Then there's just the fact that I don't really have time to find true love, regardless of what I may say my business does take up just so much time. And there's-"

"But," he said, raising a paw. "But those aren't the reason. I've seen how much you love your friends, and you know I can at least get close to matching your pace with certain parts of your works. Rarity, what's the truth?"

She breathed in, her lip trembling. She reached out and drained the rest of her tea, and wiped at the corner of her eye before she looked directly into his eyes.

"Spike, I'm afraid of loving you, because... Because yo-" She took a breath, steadying herself against the table before she looked at him.

"Spike, it's because I'm afraid of more than just loving you," she said, tears starting to stream in earnest from her eyes.

"Spike, you're a Dragon," she whispered with a shiver. "I am afraid of you, because you're a Dragon, Spike."

Comments

[DragonPony]

OH shit it was finally said. The bomb was drop. The REAL reason she couldn't be with Spike. The thing she couldn't get past. Now the big thing is.... what happens from here? I don't think our Love Goddess will let Spike flip out on her no matter how much he want to. But that is the thing... that isn't how I see him reaction to this. No no this hits at something deeper... This hits at the core of Spike's biggest fear and worries of all... Not fitting in because he is a dragon, not truly being one of them because of what he is. He best chance had that fear always in his mind but never voiced it but now it was given a very real voice and a very real effect on the biggest part of his life to someone like Spike... his love life. This is crushing even with Shy there. Who know how big this will effect him.

[SilverEyedWolf]

9965368
Cannot tell you how much I loved your comment, so good dude Thanks boi

[Fancy Fox]

oh man, it will be a MIRACLE if spike doesn't have some sort of conniption after that... admission...
(that sentence sounded silly... oh well.)
Oh I cannot wait for his reaction! thank you for the chapter!

[lazyreader19]

9965368
Shoot, took the words out of my mouth.

Caught me off guard, that's for sure. Dang.

... Although she did see him during that greed episode. I can see how him turning from tiny tyke to giant town wrecking monster might give one a...slight dragon phobia. @_@

[Love Moth]

INB4 Spike pulls the "I'm not mad, just disappointed" card. Thang serious the back he doesn't love her anymore bomb

[tx-300]

motherfucker

[DarkDMan]

And BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE!
Can now see why, her sleeping would be worse after, Spike got with Fluttershy, who has a well known fear of dragons.

Well, this is why, Celestia trusted Discords reform to Fluttershy in canon. She really is a better judge of character.

Wow, could hardly wait for the next chapter!

P.S. Good luck with the Doc. visit. Be safe and well!

[ruthim345]

*deep breath*

MOOOOOOTHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay I'm done.

[Wydril]

Hell of a pre-dinner conversation, can't wait to see the main course.

[Laani]

Hmm wonder what's for dessert.

[Detsella Morningdew]

Of all the possible reasons you could have given Rarity, this was the best one.

I mean, absolutely horrible for Spike. But my inner writer is giggling. Not only is it unexpected, but it hits some of Spike's insecurities. (At least reasonable ones - the show didn't exactly go into detail, except possibly his fear of not belonging.)

[Alondro]

A gentle clopping caught his ears

I'll bet it did.

Pfft, Rarity isn't afraid of dragons. In fact, when Spike went Spikezilla, she let out a little Freudian slip about her REAL fetish! "I guess you'll be eating ME next!" Spike hadn't eaten anypony, in fact, so far as we can tell, the dragons hadn't eaten ponies in ages.

Soooooo, why would Rarity spit out something like that... unless... SHE'S SECRETLY A VORE who WANTED to be eaten by a dragon all along!!! *the courtroom gasps in shock as Prosecutor Alondro points accusingly at Rarity, who's fidgeting guiltily in the defendant's chair*