Set in the Nightmare Moon Takeover Timeline of the Season 5 Finale.
When Nightmare Moon cast down Princess Celestia and rose to power in Equestria, Rainbow finally found some sense of pride as one of her chosen Night Guard; pegasi empowered by Nightmare Moon herself as her elite soldiers.
When Rainbow joined the Night Guard, she met Applejack, the only pony she felt she could ever truly rely on. The only pony who ever gave her a sense of joy in her otherwise dreary life.
But when Rainbow discovers a terrible secret hidden by her closest of companions, she will find herself with a difficult choice: Choose her pride as one of Nightmare Moon's finest, or the one thing that brought joy to her life.
Written for the Appledash Contest #4, featuring: "A Place Outside of Ponyville", "Deepest Darkest Secrets"
Ew, racism. I still like where this is going, though.
The scene with the mallet doesn't seem accurate at all, Applejack hit Dumbell with the mallet yet neither he nor the rest of the guards watching did anything about it. It makes Dumbell seem way too nice and Applejack look like a jerk. The apology alone shouldn't be enough to forgive that, especially after hitting an elite guard of all people.
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Hmm... I can probably add a little bit to make that scene a little less strange. I'll see what I can do tomorrow.
Ooooh...this is looking promising!
*isn't caught up with season 5*
*is, however, competing with you in the contest*
I'm gonna die if I read this >.<
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*Puts up dukes*
The racism is unpleasant to read about, but it does make NMM look more evil. Plus, you could make the case that there is slight racism in Equestria Prime since most of the military is made up of unicorns and pegasi.
I'm intrigued by the rebellion and what they have planned. I hope you update soon.
Since this is incomplete it doesn't qualify for the contest. However, i saw you mention something about 'an idea turning into a 100k+ monster'. Will you be continuing this like that, then?
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Probably. Yeah, I thought I wouldn't be able to get this done in time, hence why Pristine Sky is a thing instead. Can't win 'em all, I suppose. But hey, now I have some leeway with what I want to do!
6843808 Looking forward to it! I preferred the NMM AU of the lot. Loving what you have so far~
Definitely tracking this! In addition to the characterization, worldbuilding, and scene control I mentioned on Pristine Sky and which all apply here as well, this shows you have a great sense for action. The way you developed the batpony transformation was also intriguing, and not just because I missed that Rainbow's wings weren't feathered in the episode – it's a really nice illustration of the culture that's developed in however many years it's been since the Queen of the Night took the throne. (I personally feel "Nightmare Moon" might be more politically charged and not necessarily the safest thing to call her when she's not Luna.) It will be interesting to see what Rainbow's done to make herself less than fully trustworthy, though.
As for what 6766036 brought up, I do think that's present in the primary timeline, even if I played it up a bit more strongly in my entry to the contest
though I'm not completely sure how much that came through. It might not be as bad as it got in our world – or even as bad as it still can be – but between the way the Apples herd the cattle and sheep ("You could've just asked"), the initial reaction to Zecora and the isolation from other nations, and the standardized use of "everypony", I don't think anyone who's not a pony is going to be forgetting that difference. The tribalism, as I've seen people call it, is less pronounced, but in addition to that unicorn/pegasus over-representation, I'd like to point to Trenderhoof and how similar a lot of his lines are to some of what people who are "not actually racist, honest!" say. Really, if either of you can come up with another interpretation for "I have such respect for the work ethic of earth ponies," I'd love to hear it.Besides, the Queen of the Night just recently got back from a millennium away. It might just be bias from our own history, but I'd imagine that ponies have gotten a bit more progressive since she was last around them. I doubt she would have kept up.
Hi there! I did a review for your story on my blog, and ended up recommending it to my followers. I hope you continue it soon!
Great story so far! I have to say, this Alternate Universe would probably be my favorite one. Nightmare Moon is probably in my top 3 favorite ponies list.
Moar?
Beautiful story!!! I love everything in it.