This story is a sequel to The Definitive Guide to Pony Anatomy - Starring Princess Celestia and Princess Luna
[img]http://i.imgur.com/NtX01an.png[/img]
'Do not trust an alicorn who weighs any less than her operating manual' - Author of this Guide
Sometimes your alicorn throws a temper tantrum and runs around the house turning off all the lights while declaring herself a new breed of adorable evilness. Sometimes sibling squabbles leave you with a tearful alicorn refusing to raise the moon and allow the day to end. Keep calm and read this guide. This guide will walk you through how to safely contain evil dark pony overlords using readily available household implements such as the humble cardboard box. And if all else fails, it will at least help you make effective use of the astrophysics of alicorn anatomy to manually override the raising, lowering and general joyriding of various celestial bodies.
Published by the Royal Canterlot Publishing House for the Royal Equestrian Diplomatic Mission to Earth. For human audiences only. No alicorns (or humans) were harmed in the making of this guide.
Contains: Princess Luna being generally mischievous and adorable for Hearthswarming Eve. Also contains cardboard. Surprisingly does not contain any bubblewrap for once.
This is a standalone story, but it does sort of have a 'previous episode' you can read here. Reading it is not required to enjoy this particular story, but it's a fun short read in its own right.
Sort of my Christmas fic. I decided to get it done early as I'll be working this Christmas. Again. Happy Hearthswarming, everyone!
![http://i.imgur.com/NtX01an.png[/img]](http://i.imgur.com/NtX01an.png[/img]){kind=link}
No Butler tag?
Ah well, this promises to be fantastic.
Okay, reading complete...
Do-Do I want to know what happened in that box.
Butler - What happens in the Box stays in the Box.
We need more Butler.
I don't think it's considered plagiarism if the person you stole the idea from is yourself.
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By all that is gentlemanly, I must agree.
Best. Banana. Ever.
MORE! We need BUTLER! WE NEED HIM NOW!
Nah, i can see "?" is coming.
D'aw~
Nose kissies are best kissies
Plagiarizing yourself? Shameful. What has the world come to?
Seriously, though, continue the butler story sometime. It was adorable.
Your guide is incomplete. You didn't show me how to fill in that last empty patch of stars. And I want to know more about them auroras *hint* *hint*.
Now my night sky will never be complete.
Never change Luna.
I saw the rwby quote lol
Sometimes, I envy Butler.
And sometimes, I realize we're only being shown the highlight reel.
I simply love that butler. Cracks me up every time!
I'm pretty sure the author of the plagiarized story is furious that you'd steal his work. Merry Christmas
And thus Butler saved the Equestrian way of life. Again. This is probably a daily (at least) occurrence for him.
If it was ever possible to die of cuteness overload, well, Butler will probably be the first to find out.
Longest...title...ever
I'm a physicist. You had me at the title. :P
'But man is a creature of cunning. He must be, for he must survive in a world of women'
The whole story is gold, but that line is worthy of Edmond Blackadder himself.
In fact as I reread it that is the voice that I know hear.
I laughed....and laughed.....and laughed!
He is rather lazy isn't he?
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Congrats on the feature!
I didn't really like the story but since I am a nice person, I will not dislike it. Besides the auditor most likely didn't dislike my story.
Its a pity Rowen Atkinson, or any impressionist near as good, will likely never do a voice reading of these stories.
Lets see, I got Rowen Atkinson as Blackadder, or Stephen Fry for Butler. Pitty about Alfred J Pennyworth.
of the world
something something consequences something something tsunami the height of canterlot
This was funny and witty. Upboat.
Good Gods. Twilight's gonna be pissed.
Is it just me or should this have a romance tag?
Humans so cute! EEEEEEEEEE~
I don't know how, but this line screams Terry Pratchett.
I love the concept of this. The only thing that really bothers me, and unfortunately is thus spoiling my reading, is the mixing of tenses. Everything is clearly happening in the present tense, because the princesses are responding the the narrator in real time, but he keeps describing things in past tense. It's really confusing and is causing my internal editor a great deal of distress.
I apologize for being primarily critical in my review, but I hope you might find it helpful. I'd love to read this in present tense so I can really enjoy it without my internal editor screaming obnoxiously in my ears. (My internal editor can be a bit dramatic at times.)
Looks like the Butler will have to deal with Nightmare Moon directly.
Tia, you coward.
When becoming a butler, one must always brush their teeth and maintain good hygiene at all times.
Placing a pony inside a cardboard is just as evil as a pony tipping over a glass of chocolate milk. It's pure unfiltered evil.
So by caressing Luna/Nightmare Moon and poking her in various parts of her body, you can raise the moon and bring about other nightly objects into the sky? Interesting....
Whoa, what?!
Oh my. Looks like the Butler is about to have some..."fun time" with the princesses.
Anyways, that was an adorable and funny story to read.
SIR YOUR AREMY FAVORITE AUTHOR PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE MAKE MORE OF THIS!!!
So, who's your editor? Because you should absolutely fire them, or get one if you don't have one.
Looks like these are back.
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Could be worse, as in the following title (granted, not on this site, but still):
The Book of Lies Which is also Falsely Called BREAKS. The Wanderings or Falsifications of the One Thought of Frater Perdurabo, which Thought is Itself Untrue. Liber CCCXXXIII [Book 333]
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Because it's pretty much a quote?
Whoops, I dropped a Like. Ahh, well.
That's not half as bad as the Fave I lost just mere seconds ago.
By the way, have you seen a Comment? Big, silvery one that reads 'That stuff is just awesome!'?
No? Darnit, I'm just too clumsy today.
Anyway, I go and find some new ones. If you find that stuff, you can keep it~
I haven't read any of the butler story but it did not matter when reading this fic. I throughly enjoyed it.
I knew this would be glorious the moment my eyes saw the story.
And I was not disappointed. Chuckles and laughs galore, and sibling pettiness at its cutest.
Also, seems like the sisters tend to like to shapeshift into younger forms if I'm not mistaken. Unless they are really that young
Also, thinly veiled suggestive stuff is thinly veiled. Yet all the more hilarious due to that.
That's one VERY LUCKY, Butler! Happy Holiday's!
Of course light never destroys the darkness. That would presume there was something to be destroyed. True darkness is also total emptiness, a void. Is it then wise to be fearful of nothing?
Now, it is what may hide itself under a cloak of darkness that we must concern ourselves. Predators and criminals lurk in dark places, seeking victims upon whom to pounce. And there are other things also which creep in the dark places. But the darkness itself is impotent to anything besides look dark.
Wait how would telling Twilight help the situation?
This is amazing, this guy's like every stereotypical British snarky butler ever in one!
Clever.
Ouch, shots fired!
DAAAMN! TRIPLE KILL! Ouch! This guy's like Alfred and JARVIS, but, better.
This is why I love British Butlers. So snarky yet so polite.
Funny, but very confusing at times.
This series could also be called My Magic Friendship: Ponies Are Little.
GASP! Can it be?! The secret technique that was thought to have vanished long ago?!? But I believe that technique is also known as a kamikaze move...
WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
MOAR!!!!!!
woot!
6731519 Because it is. That's almost word for word from Reaper Man