The Queen and I Book 3: Friends and Family

by SoloBrony

Chapter 19: Promise (Come back to me)

Gotta make it, gotta make it! When she closes those doors, no one outside will be able to open them!

Keep flying. Faster. Ignore the pain in the wings. Fly faster.

There... There she is! She just opened the doors! - “WAIT!”

“Wha- Iqqel? What is it?”

- “What do you think you're doing?!”

“Twilight didn't tell you? I'm-”

- ”YES, she told me what's going on, but why are you going into the Hall?!”

“It's the only place where I can-”

Just stop - “Queens only go into the Hall two times! To be born, and to die!”

“I can use the Hall to sort this out. I'm not-”

- “Don't you dare lie to me!”

Can't stop crying.

I can't even breathe. It's like I pull air in, but it does no good.

“... Iqqel, what makes you think I'm here to die?”

- “Because I know you! If you thought that you were, that you were... if you thought it would be better for the Hive, you wouldn't even think twice about it!”

“Iqqel, it's my-”

NO! - “DON'T! Don't you even... even start with your, your 'duty' speech, your... no!”

“I'm the Queen! I'm-”

Cecily! - “No, you aren't! Not everything is about your... your job!”

“It's not a job, it's WHAT I AM!”

- “No! No! No, it isn't! It's what you do! You want to know what you are?! Well let me tell you, then. You're a person, and you can't measure the what of a person without the who. You're the little nymph that... that...”

Breathe. Focus.

I wish I could stop choking. 'What I am'? I feel like I'm going to be sick... - “You're the one that wanted to bring peace and happiness to everyone. You're the one that cared so much about... about everyone, the Hive, Equestria, your friends, ponies you hadn't even met, you... you did so much! You threw yourself into every study, every field, anything that might help people. You're Cecily!”

“That wasn't me! I changed, I became-”

- “You haven't changed where it matters at all! You wouldn't be standing here, ready to, to throw your... to give up everything, just because you, you seem to think that... that what? That the Hive doesn't need you anymore?”

“It doesn't! I've become worse than redundant, I'm an active hindrance at this point! I can't stop hating all of this, dreaming of some way to betray Equestria or... or something, and I know I can't. I can't do that to the Hive, I can't do that to Chiri... I can't do that to Twilight, but I just can't stop-”

- “It doesn't matter! We'll all help you! We'll work through it, over time!”

“Iqqel, I have to stop this cycle, somehow. I can't risk the Hive being brought down by-”

- “Do you have any idea how important you are to me?”

She looks taken aback. I guess she doesn't know after all - “I can't. I can't keep quiet any more. I was never cut out for this, this role as a Speaker. I can't keep hiding what I think and trying to... to wait for you to understand.”

“What are you talking about?”

How did I end up in this situation? I feel so sick... why does it feel like I'm burning? - “I can't lose you. You're the most important person in the world to me, I-”

“Iqqel, I've always appreciated your loyalty to the hive, but-”

AAARGH! - “This isn't about loyalty! It isn't, I don't... I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR 'JOB', okay?! I never did! I became a Speaker because I needed to stay close to you, not to this, this Queen you seem obsessed with being!”

“I never meant to upset you, I'm just trying my best to do what I think is right!”

Great, now we're both crying - “How could it be what's right to take you away from me?!”

“I'm... this is what I have to do, for the benefit of-”

- “How do you just not understand?! There's more to consider than just what you think is important for the 'good of the hive' or, or whatever it is you're so obsessed with! I don't care about losing my Queen, I care about losing you!”

“But I'm a failure! Even Chiri would be better at-”

- “You're not a failure! You're still that same nymph that inspired a whole new class of Makers because you were determined to show off that Equestria had innovative ideas in instruments! You're still the same person that said they would do anything, whatever it took, to make things better!”

“But that's exactly what I'm trying to do!”

- “Based on the assumption that you're worthless! You aren't! How could anyone willing to sacrifice so much for everyone else be... just...”

I just can't let this happen. I can't stand it. I don't even care about the risks to the hive. I can't... - “I can't lose you. I know you're trying to do what you think is right, but I can't...”

Because I love you - “Because I...”

I love you - “I... I can't. I'm such a coward...”

Try to breathe. Try not to be sick.

She's holding me. It's ironic, I guess, since I came here wanting to protect her - “Promise me.”

“Promise what?”

- “Promise me you will come back.”

“... I can't make that promise.”

- “Then... promise me that you will believe me. That you will believe what I said, that you're... you're important. That you're good. That you're needed. Promise me that... whatever happens, you'll think twice before...”

“... I promise.”

Comments

[Razzy]

Right in the feels, this chapter.

Cya
Raziel-chan

[nioniosbbbb]

IAWDUOJHowjoiefjaiofja;wpiojhi;ojhfeaojfisujfeiwojfiwuejha;oewjiejahw;fe FUCKING SAAY IT! YOU FUCKING FOOL!

[FanOfMostEverything]

Iqqel feels so much, her narrative structure is losing cohesion... and she still can't spit it out.

Interesting to note that becoming a queen is called a birth. Given what happens to the new queen, it does seem to entail a reinvention of self, and not in a good way. Still, hopefully Chrysalis will be able to find a less drastic way to resolve this.