• Member Since 9th Mar, 2014
  • offline last seen Tuesday

Lost_Marbles


I don't read your stories because I'm crazy. I'm crazy because I read your stories!

T
Source

On a mountain with a never ending blizzard, Sweetie Belle and friends go missing. Rarity and Rainbow Dash set out to find the lost fillies, but when they do, they stumble upon a pair of lovers trapped in ice. If Rarity and Rainbow want to save the fillies, the lovers, and make it back alive, they'll have to slay the monster of Wintercrest.

*Edited by AlicornPriest
*Art by AJVL.
*Preread by Troubleshooter and TheBandBrony
*Special thanks to Smaug the Golden for his first impression review

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 45 )

...so at first I thought the title was "winds of wintercest" and I thought this was a completely different type of story...

Oooh, the tension builds. The Official likes... :pinkiecrazy: Curious to see where this goes, especially with this looming threat of some unknown beast. Are you planning on using a frost-bitten beast of myth or one of your own concoction? Can't wait to see where this goes.

6895725
You shall see. *rubs hands together* Very, very soon.:pinkiecrazy:

So established plot of tragic love hath born a savage beast of unknown nature. Now I'm really curious, especially since you stated that a myth about Wintercrest had been around. How long has Astral been as ice, I wonder? And the idea of the chemist... Oooh, I can't wait to see what beast you've turned him into. Onwards to the hunt, I suppose.

6898877
Glad you're enjoying it so far.:twilightsmile:

Yes... with the "banshee" as I call it, I was originally going to go with a traditional monster design, but then as I wrote it out, things changed. I hope you get a kick out of what comes next.:rainbowdetermined2:

That sums it up pretty well. The design you have for the banshee, WOW that is creative (I kept seeing a Bloodlicker from Bloodborne with slight pony features, but that's just me), and that twist at the end. Sweet son of Solaire's smoking sausages, what a twist! You, good sir, just keep on giving!

6902327
Bloodborne? Never played it. Must have a bunch of creepy-ass critters crawling about.:pinkiecrazy: While writing this, I thought of all the Lovecraft stories I've read and how wild the creatures were, so I let my imagination take control.

6902338 Bloodborne has a LOT of Lovecraft's influence in it... So the design makes sense in so many ways. Imagination is both a wonderful and terrifying thing.

If you kill off Rarity imma gonna change my vote.

6903156
From a down vote or an up vote?:trollestia:

What's the point of spoiling out that one part in the synopsis when you have a gore tag?

“I saw them--” Astral took a deep, pained breath “--with a purple mare. Further down the mountain.”

Oh hey, Astral, when did you get here?
All joking aside, this is where things get complicated. At first I thought you were striding into the territory of "monster is really a man, man is really a monster" kind of story, but with the way you've written Astral and Cure so far, I'm now getting the vibe of "two halves of the same story told from different perspectives". Not that it's a bad thing, or anything, I'm just a little surprised at the route you're taking. Good job, Marbles, you've made me feel conflicted about characters. Not many authors can accomplish that.

6904698
You know what? You have a point. The gore tag itself is a warning, so me going out of the way to point out something that points out what I want to point out is redundant. :applejackconfused:

Thanks. :twilightsheepish:

I hope you're enjoying the story.

6904728
:facehoof:

Fixed.

Oh, and my editor noticed that, too. "Going the Rashomon route?"

I kind of am, but at the same time, I'm not. I hope it'll be clear at the end. :twilightsheepish:

6904695 (\_-_-_/) Praise the Sun, that's who.

OOOOH! That was awesome! You took my expectations (I was worried for cliché, for a moment) and blew them out of the water! And wow, what a brutal way to go for the lot of them... But who was truly right in the end, I wonder?

Wow. That was... That was incredible. Well done, Marbles, this is easily one of my new favorites out there. You've completely dashed my (unfortunately) low expectations and provided a really unique take on the 'myth turned reality' story. All the characters were incredibly well written, especially Astral, Cure, and Lily, the atmosphere was tense and chilling, and it was overall a pleasant experience. My only gripe is the addition of the Windigos, I just feel they were sort of hashed in, but that's just me.

“If this fails, then I fail. I will distract the beast.0 Go back around the bend, then once you reach the end of the ledge, turn right and head straight.

Don't know what that zero was about... but I got a chuckle out of this small typo. :trollestia:

This story needs to be more popular... dangit this story is also begging me to start writing again because of how it is written is how I wish to write but I'm not quiiiite there yet... :facehoof:

6910221
Damnit. How did I miss that?:facehoof:

As for the "needs to be more popular" bit, I agree, but it's probably not as successful as it could be because of the description. If I mentioned the lovers frozen in ice instead of being vague about the mystery, more people would have probably given it a chance.:unsuresweetie:

I'll try fixing both of these once I get back to my computer.

6910221
Fixed!

And I'm so happy you've been enjoying the story. :twilightsmile:

You forgot to add a few other character tags.

6913221
You mean Cheerilee, Applejack, and the CMC? This story revolves around Rarity, Rainbow, and the OCs. While the others play important roles, the story isn't focused on them. That is why I didn't use their tags.

Poor Rarity... Great story, I don't think I've seen this scenario with that twist before. Good work.
If I should be a slight bit critical, it felt a bit short at the end, but otherwise it was a nice read.

6914520
This story started out as an exercise of economical use of words. the longer I worked on it, though, the longer it became. Don't know if that means I started off with too little or if I'm really bad at cutting stuff out. :derpytongue2:

6915293 Ah, I see. well, most of it was effective storytelling, it was actually just when winter lily's part of the story began I felt it short.

Well nevermind, I missread that as
"Winds of Wincest"

Could it have been that Astral was shy? He didn’t look nervous, just deep in thought. Could it be that she and Rainbow were the first ponies he’d met in a long time? Back at the lodge where Cheerilee’s class stayed while the Friendship Express was undergoing repairs, the lodge owner told the schoolfoals the legends of the lost town of Wintercrest, the IceStarPony, and the Banshee. If the story had any truth to it, Astral must have been alone for years!

and

“That hardhead tricked these two, and now look at them! They’re both suffering because of this. There stuck here forever.”

Should be 'They're'.

Hmmm, INTERESTING! I shall read this whole fic! Oh, and you have my like already :raritywink:

WHY IN CREATION DOES THIS HAVE LESS THAN 1,000 VIEWS!!!:raritydespair:

7005108
I believe it was because the older description I used was too vague and not interesting enough. But yeah, I would love for this to have more views.

Oh well. It was still a good writing experience.

I'm happy that you enjoyed it.:pinkiehappy:
derpicdn.net/img/2016/3/6/1102836/thumb.gif

Stay awesome.

7005328 You to, and I gave it a special little section on my user page.:twilightsmile:

You deserve it, and a little bit more.

7005359
Oh wow! I saw it.:pinkiegasp:

That's very nice of you.:raritystarry:

I've had this on my to read list for some time, and gods damn now I'm disappointed. Not in you, but in myself for not reading it sooner. Very well done my friend.

I've had this on my to read list for some time, and gods damn now I'm disappointed. Not in you, but in myself for not reading it sooner. Very well done my friend.

7074374
7074367
Hey, I'm glad you enjoyed it! (So much you even commented twice.:rainbowwild:)

Very well written, and a really good, solid plot. Rarity is characterised very well - she's such a believer in True Love and Fairytale Happy Endings, isn't she? That belief worked very well here to push the story forward, she was so determined to get the lovers back together, so sure there would be a happy ending for at least two of the cursed trio. Her thoughts at the end, reflecting on the shades of grey one finds in real life make for a very satisfying end.

I like this, I like it a lot!

When Rainbow and Rarity disagreed about whether to move Lily and then agreed that one of them should go for help and the other one stay with her, I started to wonder if the pattern was about to start repeating, and that Lily was actually the monster that had doomed the town, set the two stallions against each other, and would have to be slain to lift the curse.

7252136
Why didn't I think of that!? Like a changeling/windigo mix!

That would have been so awesome!

This was pretty good, and rightly tragic. I figured early on that there was something off about Astral's story and that he might have been the villain, but I never expected that both were wrong.

Beautiful story, very well written. Love it!

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