• Member Since 26th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen February 16th

Symphony


A paragon of virtue, role model, professional writer and a liar.

T

When a Carolean soldier dies in battle, he expects to go to Heaven and rest. But this afterlife is not exactly what he had in mind. There's... ponies in the afterlife?

Chapters (11)
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Comments ( 170 )

I'm not normally one for human stories, but I quite like this. Nice original idea of using a Carolean soldier instead of the usual US marine. Looks like you did research, too.
Good luck and hope you continue.

699960
I am Swedish myself, and I am rather interested in the Carolean armies and the old swedish armies.

Let's see where this leads. Good story so far.

Interesting story, enjoyed it so far. Cant wait to see more! :yay:

You know, the group Sabaton has a whole album full of songs of the Caroleans! But good story, though, makes me wanna think to write other HiE Soldier stories!

Keep up the good work!

.. What's this? A soldier in Equestria? But he _isn't_ modern military? Wait, he's not even American?!

... I could get used to this.

700198
I love Sabaton! But I always had interest in the caroleans.

Hej på dig där! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Twilight_Sparkle_lolface.png
All jokes aside, this looks rather interesting. Caroleans were basically the first special forces to exist, as badass as they were. Good to see this as a fellow swede!

700309
Men Tjenare! :pinkiehappy:

Swedes were always badass. The vikings, Caroleans. Except for the younger generations as of now... Annoying little kids...

Carolean soldier...?

Well, shit. Time to use Google.

I have a feeling there will be a language problem from the fact that carolean's are soldiers of sweden not any english speaking nation, unless of course he took lessons or something, then this could be very akward.

700536
I presume I could make it work in some manner.

See the white in their eyes, Carolean's are marching on!

This story though was... okay. Nothing much really happened. It was a decent start, and hopefully it'll be more interesting, as I'm intrigued by the relatively unique premise. Also, just to ask, but is Gustafv an actual name? You said you're Swedish, so I don't want to claim you're wrong or anything, but they seems like you just added a v to the end of Gustaf, and Google is telling me that's not a name. Beyond that, there's some lack of capitalization for things like 'polish' which makes me think the Caroleans are fighting nail polish.

Otherwise though, I'd just recommend building up the main character some more, and making sure he acts on the standards of his time period. Just to ask, what year is the man from specifically? As I want to know if this is before the disastrous march to Poltava.

701050
Gustav and Gustaf is Swedish names, yes. Gustafv is more of an older spelling of the name who was quite normal ways to spell names back in those days. Just by adding another 'f'. I think they removed it because the extra 'f' was unneccessary.

I plan on make him skeptical about everything he sees and meets, not trusting but still loyal towards those in need. This will not be one of those fics when a human comes to Equestria and becomes friends with everypony in an instant, farting rainbows and whatnot. It will be a story that will be in a slow pace.

As for the year, it was late 1600's/ early 1700's.

701100

Ah, an older pronunciation makes sense. Thanks for explaining that.

Slow pace sounds good, though I'm curious about what conflict there'll be. If Peter the Great's the Big Bad, that'd be hilariously awesome.

701168
About of the more diplomatical/political/religious conflicts that revolved in the 1600's. Such as female leaders of countries still being considered taboo in some countries.

No more spoiling...

701196

Well it wasn't as taboo as history leads us to believe. Sweden had a queen after Charles XII died in battle, and the rest of the European monarchies had women monarchs that had relatively stable reigns. Sure, they probably faced some form of persecution, but I don't think that, say, this guy would be too surprised by a lady ruler. He'd probably be more surprised said lady is a nigh-immortal princess that's also a horse.

701522
Ow, my sides...

Some things I noticed:
question him, But the invisible floor vanished
Random capitalization of But

civilization, or if there even was a civilisation
two forms of spelling civilization in the same sentence makes it jarring to read

Interesting how Sabaton comes out with Carlous Rex, sparking my interest into the Swedish Empire. Then this fic appears... Strange coincidences...

So, all in all a good read for a first chapter. I typically avoid stories like this, mostly because when you've seen one, you've seen 'em all. However, I will give this peice a chance because of its unique timeframe of which it draws its soldier.

I would be mindful of his speech. For some reason, I keep hearing him speak like a modern-day human rather than from the 1700s. Other than that, a good start, and I hope to see more from you.

701950
As I said before, I know Sabaton released Carolus Rex, but I've always had interest in the Caroleans.

Also, thank you for spotting the mistakes. I'll clean them up when I can.

703971

I apologize if I make it sound like more of a coincidence than it is. I just find it amusing how close together the two points of interest matched up.

Sweden was pretty badass back in the day (still is, too). I'll be tracking this. :trollestia:

En Svenne i Equestria? Tja eftersom den här historien verkar vara skriven av en landsman så skall jag hålla ett vaksamt öga på den.......och för att den är utmärkt skriven.
Seriöst, din Engelska är bättre än ett flertal Amerikanska författare som finns på den här sidan, måste vara ganska pinsamt för dem, en Svensk som är bättre att skriva på deras modersmål än de själva.

Now, all Swedish formalities aside, i do find this fic quite interesting, i can't wait to see how a strict christian man with his old faith and belifs can handle everyday life in Equestria, considering in his era all sorts of magic is blasphemous and only those that work for the devil use it.

Can't wait to see how he will react when meeting the magic users in the main cast, Celista and Luna. =D

713865
Ja... Lärde man sig engelska när man var 6 år och är 16 nu så finns det så klart några bra sidor av det hela.

Oh lordie, let him be snarky all the way through ! I don't want him to be all friendly. :pinkiehappy: This is much more fun.

Hehe, 'Which sentient race doesn't know of the Caroleans?' These are Ponies! And it seems that they KNOW about War here, since Fluttershy was winching. Keep up the good work! Love the chapter!

I must say, the ponies are quite rude, HMPF! typical of equines, no manners whatsoever!

Well that's not a chapter title you usually see.

722304
Yeeeeeeaaasshshh.

Snarky and sarcastic, KEEP HIM THAT WAY.

I like where this is going A LOT.
I'll be honest, I don't like human in Equestria stories a lot since they tend to either be people who desperately want their character to befriend the Mane 6 or a clopfic with the same idea.
But this is genius. :pinkiegasp:

737886
That's exactly where the writers of those stories go wrong. They force the interactions between the human and the ponies, throwing off the flow AND the pace of their stories. Slow development and pacing is a key factor in all decent stories.

This is surprisingly good :pinkiegasp:

Keep up the good work, and hope we hear from this soon enough

761414
Next chapter is hopefully out in a couple of hours.

And it seems that Twilight is going to meet Human engineering in Death. I mean, really? Is he going to kill her?

..............click....jamed....or just backfires and leaves gunpowder all oveer his face comicly.:trollestia:

Oh wow, this is getting exciting :pinkiecrazy:

Yes! Finally, someone who gets the medieval fanatic right! I have seen too many ideas where the fanatic is instantly converted to believing in non blasphemous magic. Moustache to you :moustache:

Agree with this guy above me. :)
I moustache to you too, and this interesting fanfic

I don't really want to point this out, seeing as how this is rapidly becoming one of my favourite HiE fics, but...

'This hurts like a bitch.'

... That kind of breaks disbelief a little. I doubt that that phrase was used by _any_ 18th century person - let alone a Swedish one. Feel free to prove me wrong, but otherwise remember that the story is being told by an 18th century soldier, and so his usage of modern phrases should be, well, incredibly limited at best. I'd say 'try "dickens"' but that would appear to be a fairly English thing.

767423
It's not that easy to limit the vocabulary I can use when I write this story, so it's bound to be some slip-ups from time to time. I try my best to make it as believable as I can, but it's not the easiest thing to do, though.

Thanks for pointing it out, I'll see what I can do to change it.

Ooh - a pre-Enlightenment (well, it clearly hasn't reached _him_ yet, has it?), man of faith! I forgot how much fun they could be when taken out of their element. Obviously, you're not going to kill Twilight - that would turn too many people off the fic. Considering how close a Carolean needs to be before they fire, I also doubt he'll miss. So, either she has a shield, after learning of the 'mini-cannon', or he wounds her, thereby provoking a Flutterrage which will result in him being incapacitated (I don't care how much religious fervor is running through your veins - you take a hit from a pony, possibly at waist height, after having broken several ribs, and you are _not_ going to be threatening anything for quite some time). Depending on how fast you want to move the story, I would recommend having him break her horn for maximum 'oh, crap' value.

Very realistic presentation indeed. Back then, people could indeed blame acts of disbelief on magic -> witchcraft -> witches, and kill women by the dozens.
I like this par,t but is it me or is this chapter a bit... short? I don't know, it's a good ending thought, nice cliffhanger.... cliffhanger huh?...:twilightangry2::twilightangry2::twilightangry2::twilightangry2::twilightangry2: *smacks you*

Anyway, nice job. Next one yay!!! :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

very good, i'd like to see where this goes :pinkiehappy:

Well, that's one way of defying all expectations.
And _damn_, I want to see what angry, vindictive Celestia does with _this_!
Slightly irritated by how easily Twilight was defeated, but surprise + pain hardly make for the best of conditions to react, so... I guess, I can let that slide.

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