After the Fall Formal, everything was supposed to go back to normal, even turn out better. Sunset was going to have friends and they were going to teach her the ways of friendship. At least, that's what Twilight said would happen. Instead, Sunset is seen as a pariah by everyone including those who said they would be her friends. All except Fluttershy, who now has to save Sunset from ending up in a worse place than ever. But can she do it?
Edited by Icecreammac
Rewriting story. Please tune in for some changes! 7/16/18
Chapters (11)
Wow, just wow, I never would have thought that Sunset would have tried to kill herself like that, sure I've been there a few times just wanting to end it but I never could do it, of course I never had any friends to help me before and still don't, so I go through times where I still want to end it, guess Sunset is lucky to have people to help her out.
Lovely story! Waiting for the next chapter doe..
It feels like 4ever...
Rainbow sounds pretty one-dimensional here. Her being angry and resentful at Sunset makes sense but saying that her trying to kill herself was a good thing? I'm surprised Fluttershy didn't slap the crap out of her for that remark.
6719895
I can see your point but this is how I see it and have seen it while writing: Rainbow is loyal to a fault. If she sees something or someone that threatens herself or her friends, she is on them extremely hard. Combine that with the fact that when Rainbow is angry she gets... less then logical, i.e Tanks for the Memories. Together they can lead to outcomes like what we see here, with, admittedly, creativity from me. I feel Rainbow is one of those people who, when angry, speak their mind and worry about the consequences later. Give her time to calm down and she'll see reason, but thats another chapter. As for Fluttershy, well she was just shocked Rainbow said it.
what agreat story.thank you for portraying flluttershy in such a positive way it is so refreshing to seeit! sunset and fluttershy really do need each other! thank you for this story glad i found it! well done to you!
Good storyline! Keep it up! I'd love to read more
I like the story. It could do with a run-through with an editor, though; I saw a good deal of errors that need fixing. Why do you capitalize pink when referring to the color of Pinkie's hair? It should be lowercase.
6730513 Yea, I know, I don't have any person that can edit for me, to be honest. It also doesn't help that I come up with ideas as I go, with only having a few ideas before hand. Also, about the capitalization, I'll go back and reread it to change that. I probably was writing Pinkie Pie before I realized I just needed pink, or something of that nature. Thank you for giving my story a look though
Oh my goodness,this is a very good story I tell you!
I really like how you write this story,its very pleasant for my taste quite much,plus I really ship SunShyne,so this story really makes me happier when reading this today! :3
I'm looking forward for more! ^u^
6730536 You're very welcome. If you'd like, I can give your chapters a run-through. They're not that long, so they should take too long to edit.
6731379 If you could I'd always appreciate it.
6731355 I'n glad you're enjoying it. I read a SunShyne story before and it seemed like a good paring, kinda like Hey Arnold with Helga and Arnold.
6731779 Sounds good. Do you want to send me files before posting your chapters (I use WordPad), or should I just edit the chapters as they come up? Do you want me to edit the first four chapters, as well?
6731874 Up to you on the before hand or after. Might be easier to do after, and if you want to edit the first four chapters that'd be nice, but like I said it's up to you, I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to.
this is one fine story! YOU NAILED PINKIE TO A TEE! she is so adorable and to funny! kudos to on this fun read,so very glad you wrote!
6731919 Sounds good. Do you use WordPad? I could send you the files.
6733366 I actually use Microsoft word on my Mac and then copy and paste it over.
6733389 In that case, I could do the same, editing on Word and pasting it in a message to you. You may have to go back in and add italics and whatever, since Word and this site handle it differently, but that shouldn't be too big a problem.
6733620 Yea that should be fine, I've had to deal with the italics and what now for awhile so I know how to do it.
6733674 Sounds good. I'll probably spend some time editing the first four chapters, prioritizing any new ones that come out in the meantime. You should have the first tomorrow.
6733743 Alright, probably won't be a chapter out in awhile, a week at most, it's finals week so have to focus on that.
6733811 Good to know. Good luck with finals!
I see plenty of errors and many other things that need to be fixed.
I just hope you have a proof reader or at least double check your work before publishing.
Anyway, liking this so far.
AWWWWWWWWWW
6754735 Well she is supposed to be the main antagonist, though I will admit I might have made her a little more mean then I meant to.
6754931 Perhaps, perhaps not. Perhaps you will have to wait and see. Perhaps I will explain why she's a bit ooc. Perhaps it is already explained within the text. Perhaps one day I will stop starting my sentences with 'perhaps'.
Yay Dr Discord!!
I understand why Rainbow would be hurt and why she's so mean to Sunset, but she's taken things a bit to far.
Good chapter
I liked this chapter. I can't wait to see this pan out, and I'm very interested in the inevitable reveal that Rainbow's still (presumably) going to bully Sunset. To weigh in on the OOC thing, yeah, I think Rainbow is pretty OOC, especially before, where she was pretty okay with Sunset's suicide attempt. It's been dialed back, thankfully; Rainbow still hates Sunset, but I really believe she doesn't want Sunset to kill herself. I've overall accepted that Rainbow is probably going to be OOC for most of the story, but be prepared for readers who won't accept it. And who knows? Maybe your in-story explanation of Rainbow's actions will make sense and justify them. I'm willing to wait and see.
great story! this is really getting good ! icant wait to see the event that you have in mind that changes rainbows opinion of sunset!likepinkie would say it is going to be a doozie!! well done!!
I am enjoying this story quite a bit. I do find it a little awkward at how quick Sunset is to start thinking of Flutters in a 'relationship' manner a chapter or two ago, but it was brief and I can blame it on her having a sudden flight of fancy. Rarity thinking it I do not find awkward in the least, but it is Rarity we are talking about.
Rainbow being okay with Sunset dying was...extreme. Or, at least, how she worded it. But, she is more like herself I feel in the rest of this, just alot more angry and a touch more intense then usual. Admittedly, the RD I think of in the EQG universe is quite a bit more self centered IMO than the MLP one, so I can see her viewing someone who seems to be taking someone away from her that she likes as a enemy to get rid of.
I do like that she did realize how badly she was behaving in front of her friends, at least RD is willing to tolerate Shimmer around Flutters, that's a definite improvement over just a day ago.
Shimmer just needs to avoid being alone with Dash if she can help it. Mind you, the rest of the school hates her, with some good reason. But I think Rainbow is going to be her biggest problem at the moment.
I do wonder if Shimmer is going to keep her apartment, or if Fluttershy is going to convince her to take a room or something in her house. If Shimmer has next to no money, I don't see her holding onto her apartment for long.
While I have not had a dislocated shoulder, I am a bit surprised about any minor details in this of things like "Shimmer rubbed her sore shoulder" "Shimmer grabbed her backpack with her good arm, and-" that type of deal. It's nothing major, but I kind of assumed that shoulder would be in pretty sore shape for a few days after what she did to it. Just my thoughts on it though.
I am quite curious to see how this continues. More so with the potential romance between the two characters. Right now we have a fairly broken Shimmer, so it'll be interesting to see how well they mesh with eachother as Shimmer recovers and her confidence/self esteem returns.
Well, barring RD and the rest of the school not re-beating it out of her, anyways.
6755748 Thank you for seeing Rainbow how I saw her when I wrote her. I'm doing my best writing her and I'll admit she is a bit more physical then she needs to be, but most of that should be behind her as she got her point across to Sunset and Sunset clearly understands. As for the shoulder... I've never had a dislocated shoulder either so I did what I could. I'm enjoying writing this so I hope you and everyone (or should I say everypony) else is enjoying it too. This story has been one of my favorite ones to write so far as well as being my most successful so it's easy to see where I want to go with it.
Didn't see that coming. But yeah, Rainbow is the Element of Loyalty and she would still be protective of Fluttershy. But what she said to Sunset was still wrong.
WRITE MORE!!!!!! XD JK
6779008 Fear not, I shall be giving my editor a couple more chapters to edit as soon as he gets back to me on the Friends chapter. It might be a few days depending on his/her schedule.
Whens the the next chapter coming?
6795834 I just finished the next chapter last night, I'll post it unedited soon, hopefully my editor will get back to me with the edited versions of chapters 4 and the current chapter soon.
>>Cover Art yay!
Oh boy.
The other students smell blood in the water regarding Sunset and are chomping at the bit to get back at her for her years as the queen B of Canterlot High. Since Flash didn't start the rumor and it certainly isn't any of the human 5(though I still don't trust Rainbow Dash) that makes everyone else at the school a suspect.
this is so heart wrenching what sunset ishaving happen to her! i sure hope she really c congratulatedsees that they do care about her! YOU ARE TO be congratulated on this fine story. well done!
6801229 I take it you liked it?
bleh, don't let Fluttershy catch you cutting yourself Sunset, I'll not be surprised to find her joined at your hip if it comes down to it. The sad thing is, though, due to class, and just life in general, FS or one of the others can't be around Sunset all the time in school to keep her safe, and it seems like she really needs that right now.
I didn't get much from the chapter myself, it was more 'everyone hates Sunset and wants her gone/hurt/worse'. I suppose it helps emphasize what she is going through and how frayed her mind is to the point that any accusations she immediately starts to believe and be affected by. Her intellect, that has been shown to rival Twilight's at times, has clearly taken a backburner to how emotionally damaged she now is.
Curious to see more, as always. Though, admittedly, I'm always one for happier notes in between drama.
6801259 you bet!
6802311 Well as they say: "It always gets worse before it gets better."
I wonder what will Fluttershy say when she finds out Sunset is cutting herself?
And I personally like seeing Celestia a bit evil
Nice chapter. I look foreword to more
liking all the new chapters
6804555 Fluttershy would throw a major fit or something.
I think Sunset should try to kill herself again but found by another person that isn't Fluttershy but someone like Rarity or Applejack like I don't know exactly.
If Sunset tried to jump the bridge again, but let's say Rarity and Applejack were crossing the bridge and sees Sunset standing there and then jumps, AJ is fast and strong enough to go and get her. Let's not have the bridge be like super high up where the impact would kill her but she hits the water hard enough where she can't swim to the surface but instead sink down the river or lake.. here comes AJ to the rescue but Sunset is unconscious and then Fluttershy comes later after Sunset was revived or at the hospital... honestly after this chapter this could be a chapter idea that can be played out well. Sunsets second attempt and nearly succeeded. .
6811365 That's a very good idea, and I might act on it, with your permission. I would change the idea a little bit probably but I would still give you credit.
6811606 I do not unfortunately, if you want you can PM me, Id love to hear from people what they think and especially if they have ideas.