Unidentified Flying Rainbow

by NixWorld

I REALLY didn't sign up for this

After the witnessing of the most adorable pony in the world being blown up into a few million pieces, it was quite hard for Lion to not lose it. And when the narrator of this story means ‘lose it’ he means ‘going completely insane’. Or, ‘going completely bonkers’ as the kids might call it.

During the long silence that nobody was expecting to end nicely, Eagle took the liberty to make his exit.

“My dog is calling.” He then proceeded to eject from his aircraft shortly before plummeting into the ground with no parachute as he forgot to pack it earlier that day. His jet followed soon after.

There goes a sixty million dollar F-18.

Frost thought momentarily forgetting what else he had lost that day. He remembered.

Oh, and that sixty dollar watch I lent Eagle.

Frost sat there, mourning the loss of the expensive jet, and his precious, precious watch.

Lion, on the other hoof... hand, was furious. If a TNT explosion was the average anger of a person, Lion’s anger would have taken the size of a full nuclear bomb.

He had plans for the Rainbow Dash: take her on long walks, play some videogames, show her some of his fanfiction. It was going to be perfect. However, the simple illusion of what was going to be a perfect life was merely smudged by Jaguar.

“Why did you do that for?!” Lion screamed.

“I didn’t do anything! The missile went straight passed her, you saw that!”

Lion didn’t listen. Instead, he loaded his canons as he changed to attack positions. He performed a loop which led him to start shooting Jaguar. They both engaged in air-to-air combat, which seemed to last for ages as they were both skilfully matched.

Although, that didn’t stop them from continuing the fight for a few hours.

---

Meanwhile, back at HQ.

Surveillance watched Tower Four. They seemed to be fighting about which episode was the best from their playlist. It was not long for the surveillance team to find out that everybody in there were complete idiots.

Daniel turned to his companion. “I think they’re idiots.”

“That makes two of us,” Mark replied. “Didn’t expect the operating officer to kill half of the team just because they didn’t like Fluttershy as much as Twilight though.”

“Yeah...” Daniel sighed. “Speaking of My Little Pony, how are those Rainbow Dash drones working out?”

Mark shook his head. “Not good. They seem to self-destruct after a few hours.”

“Really? Why is that?”

“It seems to be a problem with the power distributor overloading.” He sipped his coffee. “We’ll have to fix that later.”

They were both silent as they watched Tower Four play Russian Roulette through their surveillance monitors.

“Hey,” Daniel turned to Mark. “Do you think it was a bad idea to not tell anybody about your Rainbow Dash Drone experiment?”

“Bad idea? Why do you say that?”

“Well, I don’t know, what if it caused harm?”

Mark chuckled. “It’s an unarmed drone designed to look like a cartoon pony. What harm could it have caused?”

Author's Note:

Gee, thanks for reading!

I actually only wrote this to get myself back in the game. It's not the best of my works, I can say that, but I'm just happy I wrote something after my... absence.

Another thanks for reading this silly story and have a nice day!

Comments

[ShadowFall]

10/10 would eject and commit suicide again.

[The Hat Mann]

If all military's were like this, there would be no wars. Brilliant work.

[totallynotabrony]

You keep switching tenses, even in the same sentence.

They don't use personal callsigns on the radios. In fact, most of the radio chatter is gibberish, hard for anyone civilian or military to follow.

The cover art is not an F/A-18

Okay...I guess this is a parody?

[NixWorld]

6709006 A parody? I'm sorry, but I'm not 100% sure what you mean by that. It's an original story made by me if that's what you meant.

Pardon my ignorance.

[Root Beer]

Danger Zone.

[TLP]

...an unarmed drone designed to look like a cartoon pony. What harm could it have caused?”

Son of a bitch.

Overall, awesome short story. Liked and faved.

[Cander]

Totallynotabrony is right. That is an F-16. If my memory serves me right that is an F-16 Cor D. I used to work on them in the Air Force.

As to the story, I found it rather odd. Being ex-military I would say you would be hard pressed to find any pilots that would respond like that. Perhaps a fantasy technology would help explain it. One that induces nero-chemical changes in the brain perhaps.

[NixWorld]

6709383

Being ex-military I would say you would be hard pressed to find any pilots that would respond like that.

I would like to thank you for your service in the military

But I would also like to say that I know full well that pilots don't talk like that. This is why I love comedy stories, you can do whatever the heck you want with them.

Which means people aren't really supposed to take comedy stories seriously. And neither should you with this one

Thank you for commenting! Have a nice day.

Oh, and I had a feeling the cover art was wrong in some way. Honestly, it was the only good picture I could find of a pilot looking at one side.

[The Good Dark Lord]

Oh phew

[The Rainbow Mustang]

Uhhhh... wtf did just happend

[Zeheal]

.....um.....I-wha-ho-.....nvm....

[Razalon The Lizardman]

Truth be told, I can almost believe this to be an accurate portrayal of our military.

[goldeaglefire]

Wow. This is amazing. I love it.

Yeah, that's all I can say. I'm blown away by this.

[Smug Anime Girl]

This....is...

....

*dies*

[Mkchief34]

That was brilliant.

[NixWorld]

6712425 Glad you liked it!

[thetanarmy]

what
the
actual
fuck
did
I
Just
read

[Starlight Nova]

Why doesn't this story have a Rainbow Dash tag? (no, I haven't read the story)

[NixWorld]

7000008 Because Rainbow Dash isn't really a protagonist. She never even speaks in the story.

[Potato1]

Have an like

[dragonus85]

oh my god this was hilarious XD

[Green-Venom]

Alright this was awesome.