If the ribbon on the halo had said, "Celestia's little monster," the picture would've been perfect.

Good start. Can't wait to see where it goes next.

I'm afraid I can't make my way through this first chapter. Twilight's personality is just TO exaggerated, to a level more akin to a crackfic.

This was very disappointing since everything else I've read from you has managed to get her characterisation down to near perfection.

And now it's off to a promising start!

Hot damn this story is awesome! Off to a good start.

I can only see a little BIG WHITE PROBLEM in the story... Just a whisper of Celestia coming to visit Twilight and she could drop everything and return to her normal self, bet or not.

But it seems interesting

A tale of Twilight becoming a bad girl? Christmas has started early this year!

Bad girl Twilight? Yes please!

pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw11056-Bow.png

This story is getting interesting, can't wait it see the next chapter

“Where are you, Rainbow‽”

Cool sign, this "‽".

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Interrobangs ftw! lol.

My editor Lunatone introduced me to them a few months back, been using them ever since.

Good start! You have my full attention

I've got no idea where this is going, but I sure as fuck wanna find out.

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I wonder what his writing life would be like if I hadn't...hmm, it's an interesting thought.

Seriously though. I'm a typography fanatic, and I try to get people to realize how important it really is; hence why I told TwiDashForever about them. Though I should've known he would grow fond of them lol.

~Lunatone

If this doesn't have a "screw the rules" reference in it, I'll be severely disappointed

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Next chapter's called

Buck the Rules

I'm looking at the cover and all I can say is this,"She has a tattoo. We're all fucked"

Loved the chapter! Can't wait for the rest

I can see it now, with twilight acting like butters out of the vampire episode of South Park. She is... Above the rules!

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mlpforums.com/uploads/post_images/img-953357-1-9302993.jpg

...Wants to read this... but can't tell if it will lead to clop...

6755440 Is that a deal breaker for you?

Question. how did you put in the link to the people's profiles without making it look like you put them in as a link? i trying to figure that out

6755476 Unfortunately yes. There are some lines I won't cross

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The add link button is what I used. It allows you to add a url but title it as something else.

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Well, it's a story about Twilight being a 'bad girl' and pretty much doing anything Rainbow tells her to for a day. So yes, one chapter does have clop.

If you see mature and sex, that's a dead give away.

6755567 Yeah, I know. I just kinda figured that it MIGHT not. Oh well, better luck next time I suppose

Meh?

I mean, Twilight's personality seems pretty forced, while Dash seems simultaneously over-played and under-played. Like when have we ever actually known Dash to skip out on something like this? Never, and though my memory is pretty shoddy it goes against who she is as a character. Beyond that, Twilight knows better than to force her friends to change who they are. It's not a lesson she's learned because she hasn't needed to. She's always been in support of her friends being themselves.

And can you actually see Twilight going against the rules for any reason at all? She broke down when she thought she was going to break a rule that didn't even exist. And Twilight's not even competitive enough for the short description to make any sense at all.

This really disappoints me, because I want to like this story. This idea entertains me but you're messing with some of the core values of the character here and that has to be done incredibly carefully. Truth be told I've always found your characterization off (especially in The Looking Glass) but it's always been to a level that I could look past as a different interpretation of the character. But this? It pulls a complete 180 on the character and the supposed dare hasn't even started yet.

But that's my two cents, and if the featured box is any indication I'm in the minority. Congrats, by the by.

Anyway, I'll keep track because Twidash, but over all... meh.

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So are you referring to this one,

Dash blowing off three clouds left in the sky thinking they're not a big deal?
While there is little canon evidence of Dash doing something like this, i don't find it outside of her characterization to say she would. It was three clouds in an otherwise clear sky that no one but Twilight noticed. She took a nap instead.

Or this one?

Twilight overreacting in her attempts to impress her mentor, the princess of Equestira?
She'll banish me, throw me in a dungeon, or throw me in a dungeon to the place she banishes me to.
If I don't get this friendship report to her on time, she'll send me back to magic kindergarten!
Lots of canon evidence to suggest that Twilight has a history of overreacting to small things that only really bother her.

As far as the bet, it's less Twilight seeing this as an attempt to completely change dash, and more about her seeing it as an attempt to help her. This story puts Twilight in the position where she has to act against her nature to help her friend. How far will she go in order to help Rainbow to mature and accept responsibility? And how far will Rainbow go in order to win a bet?

In fact Twilight's original bet was nothing more than Rainbow having to take responsibility seriously, Rainbow was the one that raised the stakes to doing whatever Twilight said, her cockiness got the better of her.

And can you actually see Twilight going against the rules for any reason at all?

As far as this goes, I'd ask: has she ever tried it? No one rebels against the rules until they one day do. The tighter the leash, the more the dog pulls when he finally does get a little taste of freedom. It's usually the quiet bookworms that become the raging party animals in collage for this very reason.

6755559 thank you

Nice chapter, and it's an interesting premise I haven't read before so I'm looking forward to what happens.

But one very important question... who's the author of your picture in the summary? That is seriously awesome, and I might just look them up for a possible commission.

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Captainpudgemuffin

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Whether or not she thought it mattered wasn't the point. it was that she had agreed to do something, had promised. Whether or not she thought it was important is irrelevant; when rainbow promises her friends she's going to do something, she gets it done. She may be lazy and arrogant and oblivious, but she's loyal to a fault, both to her friends and to herself and her commitments. I can't see her downright ignoring something she promised she'd do. Beyond that, didn't we have an entire episode dedicated to why they should take their friends perceived problems seriously?

I can, however, see her seeing it as not a big deal, and thus telling Twilight that the skies are clear when they weren't 100% clear. That would make both characters seem much more in-tune with who they are.

Fair enough on the helping her part, but you have to show that in the story. Not once did I get that impression. It felt more like she was trying to change that about Rainbow. Mind, I usually skim chapters this short so if I missed something that would imply this then that's on me.

Umm... you're right? I don't recall saying Twilight doesn't overreact?

And I'm not even going to comment much on the last one as I have yet to see how far you take this. But no, I cannot at all see Twilight ever willingly breaking a rule unless it was absolutely necessary. Or at least unless she perceived it to be so. Again, this depends on how far you take is, as if you play this as her trying to help rather than change, then I can see her going against a few rules. But full on rebellion? Sorry, but no.

it leads to a dare: if Twilight can buck the rules for one day, Rainbow will admit she’s wrong and do as Twilight says. If Twilight can’t, she can no longer pester Rainbow about it.

Twilight not follow rules for one days? Impossible. It's against her nature, her very being. It will be com- *Spies that the Author is Twidashforever* -pletely Awesome and hot! Where is the rest of it?! More I say! MOAR!

i134.photobucket.com/albums/q100/TheSteveslols/My%20Little%20Pony/d98.png~original

I love the cover art. I wouldn't normally buck a pone, but I would totally buck Bad Twilight.

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...For some reason, pudge pones are how I picture they should look like. I mean, they're both colorful AND floofy.

I bet Twilight is going to log into club penguin without asking for parental permission.

Now, usually I can't stand TwiDash, but you have made me want to read this. That's saying a lot coming from me.

I really love this story, but there are some grammatical issues at times! Sometimes you forget to put commas before things like, 'hey, Twilight'. And there are a few places where you used commas instead of periods. And maybe a few weird places where you used italics, but overall, I really liked it! I'll happily be an editor for you in the future if you would like!

Best ship, and I love Twilight and how you write her!

I bet twilight will start doing the Nyan Cat dance! :3

8/10 needs more commas

Princess Celestia sounded a bit too much like Rarity, in my opinion. Always thought of her as a more motherly sounding mare.

Looking forward to seeing where this strange story goes