I write stories because I enjoy them. I want to do better and am willing to take any advice to improve.
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Rarity receive an unknown gift, for Heartwarming Eve, only problem, she has no idea who it is from. It being so beautiful wrapped, she has too assume it is from one of her friends or maybe an ex. She dare not open till she find out who sent it.
Take place a few years after the show. This is completely separate from the rest of my stories.
Inspired by this Blog, by the Idea it brought up. Not it's reasons.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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past and present tense issues. ..
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6738629 sorry. force of habit.
6738629 oh almost forgot, good drawling. I always enjoy seeing you drawings in the comments.
6738764 thanks- family had a secret Santa long ago....(Igor Sikorsky)
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poor Spikey
Must be holiday jitters. . .
Gosh Rarity Spike's becoming a drama king!
He learned from the best
So I'm a drama queen
long live the king
6745355 So what the tears were a bit too much.
6745478 Spikey just tears up a little (Seeing the wreck of the old tree library he flicked a few with his claw)
Rarity is as dense as Tom. . .
6745893 Well this is my first time working on a Sparity so I sort working my way through it. Am I handling them right or not. I am curious cause I have always enjoyed a good Sparity. And I want to write a few myself. But nothing big yet so I started small.
6745951 A-OK on the characters
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6746009 Oh, good I was worried.
I dont truzt zat ex
past, present tense & missing words. . .
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6750487 Oh sorry I was half asleep when I wrote it.
6750487 fixed all the ones I could see. And yeah that pic fits me last night I tired.
6750676 Take it easy , you're doing well with the characters , On to the home stretch
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6750870 I am just trying get this complete, before I take the rest week off for Christmas.
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nice little story (missing a few words here and there) thank you.
Aww ... Button Smash doesn't know what is in stock for him hehe - evil laugh - I really enjoyed this story
6752463 Well I did do this complete without any help from a Proofreader. But I wanted to get it done before Christmas Break. And I still had fun a the same.
I think I did alright for my first Sparity.
P.S. I am loving these pics.
6752553
ya did gud 
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6753623 Yeah I will probably go back after Christmas, and fix all the mistake I missed.
This story had all of my ships in it that's a rare thing and I loved every moment of this story
6755377 Well I was wanting to make this very special for my first Heartwarming story. So I figured I could try to work on pulling all my favorite ships in either big or small scene. Unfortunately I couldn't pull in all my favorites, just the ones in Ponyville.
Which shipping scene did you like the most?
6755584 oooh that's a toughie... My favorite part would have to be Sweetie Belle's attempts to get Button Mash under the mistletoe.
There are two errors in this sentence.
Must be a hell of a scar to match Fluttershy's style... Normally that would be something for AJ or RD.
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The thought of finding her Secret Santa fills her with determination.
I approve of all the ships in this story. although I would have preferred fluttermac.
6981663 Well I wasn't able to get all my favorite ships into this story, but I got most of them. I got another story planned sometime later maybe in April or May, that will pull in some ships that I used in story as well some my favorite ships in Canterlot.
6981663 Oh I forgot to ask which shipping scene did you think was the best.
6981975
Not sure which scene but I loved FlashLight.
6983060 I was just curious on which ship I handled best.
6983070 Oh witch one you handled best? Sparity obviously was handled well. You could have done a bit better with the other ships primarily Soarin, Cheese, Caramel, and Button. I suggest doing a story for each of them. It gives more depth to them that is really needed.
6983121 What was wrong with Cheese? I thought I handled it well. I mean I know the problem with Caramel ship and Soarin ship. All I did was just mention them. But what was wrong with the Cheese Pie ship
6983153 I feel like he was still left a little hollow.
6983422 Well I guess, all he got in was one line.
6983467 Exactly and even flash could have used a bit more development.
6983548 Well hopefully I can do better next time I pull this multiple ships idea again later. Next time will be in a story called 'Everything For The Ages'. Which again will have a Sparity ship but also giving some better looks at Flashlight, as well as a few of the ships that I couldn't pull off here. I plan to do it sometime in April or May, or possibly June or July. Depending when I get done with my other stories, 'The New Stallion', Cold Vlight, and 'Endless Time Or Forever End'.
6983708
The story was great and had just those few things to improve on. I can't wait to see what you come up with in the future.=
6984065 Alright then, I'm glad it was a good story. There will a little less ships in the next one, but I will still try to improve.
Try to "show" instead of "tell" the story, be a little more colorfully descriptive and take off unnecessary details.
Try not to use words again and again, especially in dialogue.
Should be something like,
Try to describe how people do and say things.
Other than that I'm liking it so far.
7123012 Well.... there two reasons why the grammar is simple awful. 1: I did the entirety of this in 5-6 days with very little sleep so I could get out for Christmas. and 2: As you can tell I didn't use a proofreader at all.
But in all retrospect when first posted this it looked a hell a lot worse. And since the first posting I been trying to fix it. Truth be told I thought you like the story purely on everything except for the grammar(That's what the others seem to have done). And the basic fact is I've actually gotten a hell lot better since this story. I mean just skim through any of my later stories and you'll notice my writing has gotten better.
The reason I tell you this now is because when I first gave you the link I thought it still looked fine to read. That is until roughly two hours ago when I went to read it again myself(Like I do every once in a while). I realized I could barely get pass chapter one
. But after chapter one the grammar isn't that bad.
>>>GryphonStar5678
All I can say is that I prefer the shipping of applejack and rainbow dash the most. I've read some really good mlpfim human fanfictions and the way they were done together was amazing.
8017699 Well, to each it own. I could see them working as a couple, but only if they put they rivalry aside. And that in lies problem. We like these two working so closely because of rivalry they have. In doing so I can't really ship them. But you go ahead and enjoy your ship while I enjoy mine.
Nice job, so far! There are a few spelling errors, but nice job!
8607847
Well, the spelling errors do get a little better beyond here. Unfortunately, the passing is still completely awful all the way through. Seriously Sometimes I wonder how this is one of my high rated stories.
8608126
LOL, probably because of the cool and interesting idea! :)
8610506
Hmm, I guess that makes sense. Either way, I'm glad you got some enjoyment out of it.
8610529
Thanks! :)