I Got Your Number on the Wall
For A Good Time, Call...
☙ ☎ ❧
Keys jingled as the door to Sunset Shimmer’s apartment was unlocked and opened. Sunset stood to one side and let Twilight Sparkle in first, then followed her and closed the door while she flicked a switch on the wall and turned on the lights.
“Make yourself at home,” Sunset said, while her guest looked around. “It’s not exactly palace-grade accommodations, but it’s not bad considering my budget.”
“It’s perfect, believe me. I’ve had enough of palaces for a little while,” Twilight said, walking over to the couch and collapsing onto it with a sigh. “Thanks for letting me stay with you, Sunset. It’s nice to be able to take some time off in a world where I can actually just be on vacation, without getting mobbed by ponies wanting things from me. Protip in case you ever decide to come back and work on becoming a princess: some crisis that’s going to be the end of Equestria seems to roll around more often than you’d think is possible.”
Sunset laughed. “Hey, it’s no problem,” she said. “I’m glad to have some company, anyway. I’ve gotten used to living alone, I guess, but sometimes the place just... feels empty, you know?”
“Yeah.” Twilight sighed and nodded. “Yeah. I know that feeling.”
“So, what do you want to do?” Sunset asked. “I’ve got some movies, and I know a Chinese takeout place that has a pretty good vegetarian menu, if you’re starting to get hungry.”
“Oh! I just remembered something, actually,” Twilight said, sitting upright. “Can I borrow your phone for a minute?”
“Sure thing, Princess.” Sunset Shimmer pulled out her phone and handed it to Twilight Sparkle. Twilight fiddled with it for a moment, then started tapping in numbers and held the phone to her ear.
It rang. She listened. It rang again. Nothing. Three rings. Four.
Then Sunset noticed Twilight’s face light up a bit as something finally happened. “Hi! Is Jenny there?” she asked in a cheerful, bright voice.
There was a pause. Sunset couldn’t hear who was on the other end.
“...Why wouldn’t I be serious?” Twilight looked puzzled. She listened for a moment.
“No, I don’t know. How often do you get this call?” Twilight asked curiously.
She paused and listened again.
“Prank?” One of Twilight’s eyes half-closed. “What do you mean, prank?”
There was quiet for a few more seconds.
“Excuse me. It’s not supposed to be funny.” Twilight sounded indignant. “Look, I heard that Jenny’s number was on a wall somewhere, and that it could be called for a good time, so I just wanted to know what sort of ‘good time’ that meant. You know, for research, to learn more about telephone calls. I’m, uhh... well, I’m not really from around here. I don’t know that much about how this works.”
There was another few seconds of silence, during which Sunset began to seriously wonder what was going on. It was a bit concerning. Phone number off a wall? It sure didn’t sound like Twilight to call one of those...
“What?” Twilight seemed nonplussed about something in the conversation she was having. “Why would I ask that?”
She listened.
“Oh!” Her eyes went wide with surprise. “Refrigerators here can... that can really happen?”
Now thoroughly confused, Sunset tried to piece together what this could be about, but couldn’t make any sense of the things she was hearing.
“Well, I don’t exactly have my own, but I’m sure there’s one around here,” Twilight said. “I guess I could check to see if that one is running.”
Oookay, I’m officially super confused, Sunset thought to herself.
“Gimme a second.” Twilight nodded, then stood up and meandered into the kitchen, still holding the phone to her ear. After approaching the refrigerator, she studied it for a while. Sunset, filled with curiosity, followed her and tried to figure out what she was doing.
“No, it seems normal enough to me.” Twilight finally spoke into the phone again, putting her free hand on her hip and shaking her head. “Honestly, I’m not sure where it would run to, but I guess I’ll keep an eye on it.”
A very faint sound of laughter came from the phone.
“What’s so funny?” Twilight demanded.
There was a brief pause, and something indistinct was said.
“Of course I actually checked!” Twilight said in exasperation. “An object that big and heavy, running off on its own? Someone could get hurt!”
There was another pause and more indistinct words.
“Obviously, yes, I am serious!” Twilight insisted. “Rogue animation magic is no laughing matter!”
Alarm bells went off in Sunset’s head. Her eyes went wide. She shook her head and waved her hands frantically, making cutting motions across her neck. Twilight noticed the near-panic reaction and blanched, suddenly realizing her mistake.
“I mean, ummm...” She gave it a moment of thought. “No! Not magic! That’d just be silly. Everyone knows there’s no such thing as magic, is there?” She laughed nervously.
There was another couple seconds of indistinct speech from the other end of the call.
“Anyway, now that the refrigerator issue is settled, do you know how I can reach Jenny?” Twilight asked. “I have some questions for her, and—”
*click*
“...Hello?...”
Twilight pulled the phone away from her ear and stared at the screen in bewilderment for a moment before her face contorted in irritation. “Well, that was rude! He hung up on me.” She leaned against the counter and held out the phone to Sunset.
“Okay, I give up,” Sunset said, taking her phone back and slipping it into a pocket. “What was that all about?”
“Apparently, if I’m being informed correctly, refrigerators in this world can run away,” Twilight said. “Is this true?”
Sunset stared at Twilight incredulously. “Who was that?”
“I... don’t know, actually.” Twilight shook her head.
“You don’t know whose number you called?” Sunset looked at Twilight askance.
“Well, I know the number, just not who was there,” Twilight said.
“Okay.” Sunset crossed her arms. “What number was it?”
“867-5309,” Twilight answered her.
“Wait...” Sunset stared in disbelief for a moment, then facepalmed. “Let me get this right. You called 867-5309... and asked for ‘Jenny’?”
“Umm... yes?” Twilight seemed puzzled by Sunset’s response. “Why?”
“As in, the phone number from the Tommy Muletone song?” Sunset asked, still not quite believing what she was hearing.
“Right!” Twilight said, with a nod and a smile. “I heard it a little while ago, and it was just so catchy, I couldn’t help but remember it. So I thought I’d do some research on the habits of humans and these telephones they all seem to have. Like, why would this Jenny have her number on some wall somewhere? Does she want to be called by people who happen across it? Is she lonely? Does she really like meeting new people? I mean, I just wanted to know, what’s the story?”
Sunset sighed. “The ‘story’ is that it’s just a song, Twilight.” She smiled, grudgingly. “I guess it is kind of a catchy one.” The smile faded. “But it wasn’t meant to be taken literally.”
Twilight’s face fell. “So... should I not have called that number?” she asked.
“No, probably not.” Sunset shook her head. “Whatever poor guy has that line must get constant calls from people asking for Jenny as a joke. I’ll bet you anything he’s sick to death of it.”
“Oh,” Twilight said quietly. “I guess I can see why he thought it was a prank, then.”
“Speaking of which, did whoever you were talking to actually get you to check and see if the refrigerator was running?” Sunset giggled.
“Yes. Why?”
“Because I’m impressed,” Sunset said. “I mean, that’s some epic-level prank reversal. Asking someone if the refrigerator is running and then telling them they’d better go catch it is, like, the absolute most cliché of all prank calls in this world. It’s understandable, since you’ve never heard it before, but still, they got you good.”
“...I guess so,” Twilight admitted. “It did sound kind of weird, but I figured, better safe than sorry, right?” She smiled hopefully.
“Twilight...” Sunset Shimmer grinned and put one arm around Twilight’s shoulders, then reached up and gave her a gentle noogie, ruffling her straight purple hair. “Don’t ever change.”
☙ ☎ ❧
I'm so, so sorry for this story, and especially for "Tommy Muletone". I just couldn't think of a better horse-pun. 
The Tommy Tutone song, in case you're a young'n and have no idea what the hell the reference was:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WTdTwcmxyo
A truly epic prank call (like, much better than this one) that cost the lives of two heroic telephones:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWeOhen17rA
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Naivety + princess from an alternate world = hilarity. Love it.
(Funny how none of the members of that band can agree on where the heck that number came from, but the 555 trope really took off after that whole mess blew up...)
This was a fun quick read, I liked it.
As soon as I saw the number I cracked up. Thanks for the laugh!
6701544 Thank you!
6701627 Hey, you're welcome.
6701538 Glad you liked it.
Ah-haha, that was great!
s6.postimg.org/5pzpmopep/Pirate_Approved2.jpg
If we're going to bring up epic crank calls, there's one that's my personal favorite (WARNING: potentially horribly offensive to anyone who is of Asian descent in any way, shape, or form,
)
Never called that. I do like calling 634 5789.
6701755
It's not in English, but one of my favourite telephone misunderstandings is of an immigrant who called an escort service because his Ford Escort broke down.
Aw, that was cute, great story. The first movie had plenty of culture clash with Twilight in human world, and Sunset would be the one to really understand the awkwardness. That combined with Twilight's adorkableness make for a pretty happy story.
6701837
I smell a sequel!
...Maybe. If I (or anyone else, feel free to brainstorm, everyone) can think of something good.
I thought this was an SCP crossover...
6701902
My best guess is that Twilight mistakes Wilson Pickett for that world's Element of Kindness and recruits him to bring harmony, when the song is really just about playing tiddlywinks in your birthday suit.
6701943 Sorry. Just a plain EqG / MLP story.
That song probably wouldn't be as popular in Equestria :P
Y'know... Jenny.
asspirinacres.com/reference/Andi07a.jpg
6701997 Ha! I didn't even think of that, but yeah, probably not.
6701982 Because there was an SCP entry named "For A Good Time, Call..." It's basically a phone number that appears at random places and it can summon an alien who helps you plan and pay for the perfect night of fun.
Totally saw where this was going to be going. Loved the song reference, and the wonderful memories of when phone pranking was more fun (before Caller ID).
6701837
Interesting that he uses a similar number to the Marvelettes (BEechwood 4-5789) Never really noticed that before.
6701997
Or maybe lots of ponies go for forbidden love and all that jazz. If Hinny of the Hills is a popular musical. . . .
6702347 I don't know how forbidden that kind of love would be, really. It's how mules get made, after all.
6702357
True, but the ponies don't exactly seem to treat mules like first-class citizens.
6702365 I don't know if we've seen enough mules to really know how they treat them. Twilight did also apologize to one after she let a mule stereotype slip one time, too, so there seems to be at least some awareness of "mules are people too".
... Hmm, but then, the fact that there was a stereotype in the first place sort of suggests disreputable status. Oh well. I guess it's debatable.
Your puns earned you my like.
6702468 Thanks!
6702283 Was the number ever mentioned or did the Foundation redact it?
That was a fun little story, and the ending was adorable.
Thank you for submitting this to my group.
Unlike some folks, I happen to like Equestria Girls, Sunset Shimmer, and so on. Twilight best pony. So this does seem like it would be right up my alley, and I did click into this story with expectations that I'd enjoy it. On the other hand, I've grown incredibly leery of "stories" that attempt to get in past the minimum wordcount for the site. Pieces of work that are less than 5k words often stretch the definition of story, I feel.
On to the spoiler-filled review.
So, the "main conflict" of the story is that Twilight is running afoul of some cultural differences between the two worlds. Fair enough. She runs across a phone number while listening to a song, calls it, and has a conversation with the person on the other side. All told from Sunset's perspective, so we only get half of the conversation. All design choices that seem like they could result in some laughs, and judging by the rest of the comments it seems to have succeeded in that for at least a few others. Didn't really do it for me. I like the song, but just didn't find a lot of humor value in "character encounters this popular thing, think about that old popular thing and be happy." I like the song well enough on its own, I expect the story itself to make me laugh or enjoy it.
On to what the story itself does. While this is all told from Sunset's perspective, nearly 100% of the dialogue and content of the story is Twilight's character. In our initial setup, we're presented with information that, for me at least, provoked a lot more questions than this story ever intended to address. Twilight is on some sort of vacation. I could see that being an interesting story, indeed it sounds like something that might make a good episode. Twilight encounters a period of peace, and frets about the next threat and has to be forcibly made to take a vacation by her friends/other princesses. Maybe Big Mac shows her Smartie Pants to remind her what happened last time she worried too much about no problems to fix being around. Instead, we know nothing about the circumstances of her getting to the human world this time, but I was distracted by all that musing and wondering, which made the rest of the story feel all the less interesting. Because it wasn't about what the story got me thinking about.
Further, we're expected to believe, based on the "Twilight" in this story, that she is complaining about the constant problems, and is happy to be away from it all. Now, I could be convinced of this, if the story spent some time showing me how her stress was building, how she was convinced to take a vacation, and how she was enjoying the relief from stress. Instead, it feels like this character is just generally bitter about constantly having to save Equestria.
The other oddity that stood out to me was that Twilight's reaction to the song was strange. They have music in Equestria. Twilight herself sings rather often. Twilight also reads a lot. Fiction and non-fiction. The concept of taking something literally at face value doesn't seem like something Twilight would be prone to doing. That she was a bit curious about the song seems to fit, but I doubt she'd immediately assume "Jenny" was a real person. Asking Sunset about the song, or looking up information about the song seem like things she'd do as a fun project on her vacation. If calling the number was something she decided to try and do, I imagine she would be much more forthcoming with the fact that she was investigating the song, rather than the confused and naive interaction we saw.
Further, I know that after that song became popular, phone companies stopped issuing that number. A lot of customers with the number requested their number be changed, and so on. Some businesses were eager to acquire the number for marketing reasons. While it is possible that in CHS's area code, this particular person still has the number, it seems odd that he'd not have taken the easy steps needed to get it changed. I'm sure his provider probably offered it to him. Yet another oddity that stands out, isn't really explained or satisfactorily dealt with in the scope of the story, but suggests a far more interesting story than the one we did get.
The one thing that comes slightly close to being funny for me, is the idea that this mysterious person Twilight called has enough of a sense of humor to prank Twilight back. Twilight falling for the "is your refrigerator running?" isn't something I'd immediately expect to happen, but wasn't so difficult to accept that it felt out of character. Her slip-up with magic did sell it for me decently well. The rest of the story distracts from this moment though, and a one-joke story doesn't really do it for me.
In the end, the "conflict" is resolved when Sunset and Twilight talk. As mentioned before, this seems like it would be the far easier source of answers Twilight would go to from the beginning. It is a bit of a stretch of credibility that we didn't just see Twilight ask Sunset about the song from the get-go, other than that we'd have no story at all. Which goes to further illustrate the lack of satisfaction in what we did get.
Once again we run into a problem. Technically, this counts as a story. It's really more of a scene in a larger story. This happens so often that I'm genuinely surprised when I read something anywhere near this short, and it feels like it is a complete story within a small wordcount. If I was reading some larger story, and was enjoying myself reading along, and this story happened as a scene within one of its chapters, it could be done well. It could be a cute little bit of interaction that makes me smile, perhaps even laugh, then I'd keep going, and see the next interesting or funny thing that happens in the story. Instead, as a stand-alone story, this feels awkward and out of place. Like telling a joke at a funeral. The mood isn't set.
haven't read yet, but...
EIGHT SIX SEVEN FIVE THREE OH NIIIIIIINE
I can see how poor Twilight could make that mistake. It is not exactly unprecedented.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/1/29/2676.png
6701997
Twilight gets even more confused when "Jenny" claims they never heard of Cranky Doodle...
Oh, mane. I did not see that coming from the title. That's the kind of short fun fic that deserves front page. Admittedly I couldn't get into Equestria Girls, but each to their own.
6705597 You do realize that "Jenny" means female donkey, right? Like Jack is a male donkey? Kinda like Mare and Stallion?
Cranky's wife is named Matilda.
6704732 Did you have fun typing all this out?
6705855
Eyup.
For a good time, call *69.
6704732 Thanks for the review! Yes, this was short, and no, it's not rigorously thought-out and intended to wrap up every loose end and have airtight logic, so anyone who demands that is probably going to find this story lacking in that way, I'll agree.
I think this story needs to be taken for what it was intended to be, however, which is something quick and fun that doesn't need to be overthought. Certainly, I wasn't aiming for this to be one of my deeper stories. I don't think that would have worked out all that well for a piece that basically revolves around one random, silly idea based on an old pop song.
6702666 For a good time, call: 092-791-697-518-6
6723364 That sure doesn't look like a number that one can call on ones cell phone.
6723374 It's an alien number, so...
6723407 And according to the wiki...Only women can now call the number.
6723419 The SCP Foundation: Traumatizing everything innocent and disappointing everything dangerous since the Stone Age.
You are very welcome! I have enjoyed your story very much. You can watch the fanfic read if you like and you can tell me what you think of it.
At least she didn't dial 602-1023 and ask for Avogadro.
Really fun read, love it!
I like the refrigerator prank
This comment was removed due to the issue it addressed being made non-relevant.
I really liked the story. I listened to the audio reading.
This is hilarious and ngl you could make a series of this with twilight prank calling people
yep, since phones don't exist in equestria.
yep, done it myself as well.