• Member Since 17th Jun, 2015
  • offline last seen March 18th

LooniestRumble


T

Starlight showed Twilight how she lost her best friend for a cutie mark and how that inspired her to create her town and steal cutie marks, but, what if that's not all that she lost because of a cutie mark?

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 6 )

I figured that Sunburst leaving for Cantorlot after getting his cutie mark was only the tip of the iceberg concerning Starlight's reasoning behind her actions.

Nah, Starlight's story still feels weak. You give it extra justification, but in turn Twilight's whole friendship speech really feels lackluster and shouldn't be enough to turn Starlight as a result.

6692878 I can't denied that the ending is not the best; while writing I felt forced to do the reformation thing and because of that the last part feels shoved in and with less emotion.

No offense, but it seems like English isn't really your first language. The concept is quite nice and interesting, but I would recommend getting an editor to proofread your story for you. Otherwise, good job!

I would like to see Twilight punishing this company and its owners.

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