• Member Since 7th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen March 24th

Distaff Pope

An experienced writer of limited skill and dangerous enthusiasm.


Something's going on. First, Applejack comes in Thursday and says we should go to Manehattan this weekend, then the second she steps hoof off the train, she starts dressing up, drops the accent, and says we should take in a show. I'm not sure what's going on, I think it's got something to do with her snooty aunt and uncle, but whatever it is, I'm going to get to the bottom of it, or my name isn't Rainbow Dash.

Disclaimer: To readers not familiar with the Orchestra-verse, Sweetie and Scootaloo are the leads in their own story, and they've come a long way from their show counterparts. This story is perfectly accessible without reading those works, just know they'll be behaving differently than they would in the show (and are substantially older, though that's a bit more obvious in the story).

Contest Categories:
Deepest Darkest Secrets
A Place Outside Ponyville

As always, special thanks go out to Seether00 and EquesTRON for wading into the weeds of my drafts and hacking away at all the typos, grammar editors, and just plain bad decisions. My stories would be all the poorer without them.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 20 )

:rainbowderp: woah. never thought about this before. this story was deep. i like it :D

Well, this came out of nowhere! :pinkiehappy:

So sad I can't finish it right now, too, 'cause I'm loving it right now. Keep up the good work! :raritywink:

6693601 Looking forward to your thoughts on it.

Now I'm wondering if Sweetie and Scoots are genuinely going to get together happily ever after, or that they're going to fall out at some point. I'm hoping for the latter, even if it makes me a heartless bastard. :applecry:

Blimey, that's a lot of apostrophes.

For fear of sounding repetitive, I won't say I loved the story. I will say, however, that this has brought me somewhat more to the AppleDash camp than I'd like. I think the people in there have their bows on the ready, waiting till they can see the whites of my eyes. I'm kind of afraid of what your future stories will bring. :pinkiesmile:

6697147 What do you mean about bows at the ready?

6697487 I'm just thoroughly continuing the camp analogy. Seeing as it's a shipping camp, though, I suppose they'd be pink bows with hearts on the end of the arrows, just waiting to strike me so I blindly continue walking to their gates.

I've found this story has also turned me somewhat more poetic. This isn't a good thing; my comments are already indecipherable as they are. :twilightblush:

6698512 It's fine, just be sure to let Tchernobog know this story softened your view on AppleDash. Actually, you're the second person who's commented to the effect that they don't normally like AppleDash, but thought this was good.

Well, clearly, they have some issues to work out, but sooner or later Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo will wise up and realize that the reason Sweetie Belle doesn't like beer is because Scootaloo and their mysterious roommate keep buying the cheap stuff . :pinkiehappy:

Alright, well, he was the one that used ta oversee their orange grove Mareami, so he went on a lot of farming expos and stuff.

..."orange grove down in Mareami", I think?

An interesting peek into what Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo's relationship is going to be like in Your Own Worst Enemy in future chapters! Nice.

Who would've guessed that Applejack acted like the Oranges not because she was afraid of being herself, but because she wanted to feel closer to her daddy? Brilliant. I swear, you always keep me on my toes with your writing. I think you're going one way and you just completely blindside me with something way better than what was thinking. Rainbow Dash showing Applejack that she didn't need to be in Manehatten to feel close to her dad and that those books should be with her made my heart melt. Good ol Rainbow, she's not the smartest pegasus in the sky, but sometimes she can say the right thing at the right time.

Excellent as always! :twilightsmile:

Okay! Now that the contest is done, I can comment. Bearing in mind, I read it only once, when this was published - so I might be a bit hit and miss on some details.

While I did like the idea - not wanting to lose the closeness to her father and where he came from - and the execution was okay... the characterization was my issue.

For lack of a better term, AJ was being irrational - to an extreme. Call it a Rarity extreme. (Damned white devil had a bad influence on her! :ajbemused: ). AJ... well, it might take a bit, but she'll be 'reasonable' about things, and explain it. Though part of the issue here was her not wanting to explain it. That, in and of itself, I found rather odd of AJ. Not so much the stubbornness, but the unwillingness to explain. Of the six, AJ is definitely the most practical... and, usually, the most sensible of the lot. Maybe some views are a bit skewed at times, but it's not something completely wild.

For instance, I think a tweak in the story might've been better: AJ explains a small part of her problem - and Dash doesn't understand it at all. AJ refuses to explain more until Dash 'gets' it - and that's something she needs to learn for herself. Or, AJ starts explaining, and Dash makes a comment or other that annoys/pisses AJ off. Enough to need to 'cool off', as it were - and later gets explained in full.

I did like this, it was an interesting glimpse in your version of AppleDash. I just feel there was a little too much Rarity in that Applejack ;)

6913336 Hmm, that's a fair criticism. Could you send me a PM that's a bit more about how you'd change it because I'm going to defer to you on how AJ and Rainbow Dash are characterized.

It was a... good story. Though I can't say I enjoyed it, that would be... it just feels wrong. I enjoyed chapter one. And three. Very much so. The second one, though... there's almost nopony or other creature/character in this show I don't cherish in some way or another. The main cast, the background ponies, the villains, I can't come up with a single name or description. That includes Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. And reading in what situation they were in, what became of their lifes... it was downright devastating.
Like an accident, I couldn't help myself from reading on. But while I did, I somehow felt... numb. Shocked, I suppose. That was a section that intertwined with another story of yours, or so I remember the description mentioning? I won't read it. I dare not. Because that little peak into their lifes didn't make me cringe or 'feel sorry'. It made me almost feel heartbroken.
It was a really good story and I enjoyed the first and third chapter. But that middle section... it overshadows everything else. I have to admit, in some regards, that's a compliment in itself - you wrote something that touched me to the core about a character I liked, sure, but didn't knew I cared about enough to be devastated by her downfall.

7094184 That's fair. I'll probably rework the second chapter soon-ish because the original story is veering off in a different direction than imagined there, and if I leave, it will create a huge continuity snag. When it's done, I'll try to send you a letter so you can see Sweetie and Scoots in a happier place.

You don't have to, really. But if it happens and you still happen to remember me somehow, I'll appreciate the gesture as I appreciate the thought right now. Thank you.

What chapter was this in, in the other story?

7517405 I sort of binged it and it wasn't there.

7528855 Yep, I need to rewrite this story a bit. A lot. At least, I need to rewrite the middle of it.

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