Epilogue: To Rule In Heaven
Rainbow Dash strode out into the cool darkness of her bedroom’s balcony. She lit her horn—still such an alien sensation, even a month after she’d gained it—and reached. Though distant, if she closed her eyes and concentrated she could feel the echoes of a source of power that seemed to rival even the unthinkable energies of the Sonic Rainboom, or the Elements of Harmony. Indeed, as she let her eyes close and her breathing slow, she reached farther, settling her magic over it like the gentle hooves of a parent around their newborn babe.
Then she lifted.
The hints of brightness on her eyelids told her that she was doing it correctly this time. From below, there were sounds of “ooh”ing and “aah”ing from the ponies gathered in the streets. She smiled as they started clapping.
She had to shield her eyes with a hoof before she could open them, though, because there, rising from the depths of the horizon, was the morning sun.
Dash startled as a pair of hooves encircled her barrel from behind, but then she calmed, smiling deeper, feeling a pony’s warmth press against her side.
“I’ll never get tired of watching you do that,” Scootaloo mumbled into her feathers.
Dash looked down at her, not quite managing a cocky grin. “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of doing it, either. Not even if… well, Twilight finally figures out how we can get Celestia back.”
Scootaloo looked up at her with both determination and a smile. “You’ll get her back. I don’t know how, but you will.” She chuckled. “And then you and her can hoof-wrestle over who gets to raise what every day. Just remember when it gets that far, she wasn’t the pony who saved the world from Nightmare Moon.”
“Technically, that was more of a group thing, but whatever. Hey, you hungry? The gardener said she had some wheat start sprouting, and she thinks there might be flour for things like pancakes pretty soon.” She licked her lips and felt how much her tongue was watering.
“You and your stomach,” Redheart said from the doorway, rolling her eyes as she entered the sunlit bedroom. “C’mon Scoots, we gotta get you over to your school group early today.”
“Oh, that’s today?” Dash gaped. “Ohmigosh, I totally forgot!”
Redheart shook her head, but grinned. “Don’t worry. You’ve got Princess stuff, right? Go save the world like you do every day; I’ll get the kid where she needs to go.”
“And she needs us to pick up some—”
“Picked it up.”
“Okay, but they wanted her to—”
“Rainbow.” Redheart pursed her lips.
Dash blushed and looked down at her hooves. “Okay! I’m sorry. I guess… I’ll catch you guys at dinner?”
“Of course. Oh, and Kibitz was looking for you, but I told him if he spoiled your day before you even got the sun up I’d buck him and his stupid moustache into next Tuesday.”
“Oh yeah? What’d he want?”
“He wouldn’t tell me, if you can believe it. Just told me to tell you that Sassy came back on the overnight coach.”
Dash frowned. If Sassy had returned from Hollow Shades already, that probably meant things were either going really well or really badly…
But then Redheart gave her a flirtatious wink, and Dash decided there was plenty of time to worry about serious stuff later. “Hey, so that reminds me, what would you think if I started calling myself, ‘Rainbow Dash, Princess of Awesomeness?’”
Redheart facehoofed.
“Radicalness?”
Redheart shook her head from side to side, suppressing a smirk.
“Red-hot smoochin’?”
“Bye,” Redheart said, laughing as she shooed Scootaloo out into the hallway.
Rainbow Dash tried her best to absorb the bombardment of information from Kibitz, her chief advisor, as they walked the long corridors of what had recently been styled as Blueblood’s mansion. However, she found herself distracted at almost every turn by the countless ponies who seemed united in their determination to restore the building to its former glory as Canterlot Castle. Most of Kibitz’s words bounced off of her as she watched ponies bustle to and fro, cleaning and maintaining things. And it still gave Dash a feeling of shock when some would stop and bow to her.
“Princess Dash!” Kibitz stepped in front of her suddenly, forcing her to stop. “Have you heard a word that I’ve been saying?”
She nodded. “Sure I have. Lots of thestrals in Hollow Shades. Wind Rider wants my head on a pike. Did I miss anything?”
He blew his great, bushy moustache out with a huff. “Yes, Princess! We certainly have our work cut out for us here. Wind Rider still holds considerable influence over many who served under the Nightmare, and his outright declaration of Hollow Shades’ independence will have wide-ranging implications for the kingdom’s security. His callous disregard for diplomatic protocol is particularly shocking—Ambassador Saddles said that she felt fortunate to escape with her life!”
“Right… so maybe we shouldn’t risk sending anypony else to negotiate with him until he agrees not to threaten our… ah, what’s the word?”
“Envoys.” Kibitz shook his head. “Princess, with all due respect, I do not think we can sit idle and hope for the best. The consequences of mismanaging this crisis could be dire, and Hollow Shades’ independence isn’t even the worst possibility—what if they should ally themselves with any remnants of Starlight’s forces that might be lurking? Or, more realistically, what if our allies to the north begin to see us as weak, and Wind Rider manages to turn the Coalition against us? That is why we must reach out and negotiate a lasting peace with him, and soon.”
“Well…” Dash wracked her brains, trying to think of who all was at her disposal now that she was a Princess. “Is Sweetie Drops still laid up?”
“Princess, the situation calls for negotiation, not infiltration. I agree that we should choose somepony whom Wind Rider would have strong reasons to respect, though. Ambassador Saddles and I were discussing possibilities earlier, and…” He cleared his throat. “You know who we could really use for this.”
“No, absolutely not,” Dash said, stepping around Kibitz and continuing down the corridor. “Redheart said she needed time to heal, and I am going to respect that!”
“Don’t you think she’d do it if you asked?” Kibitz called after her.
“That’s exactly why I’m not going to ask!”
Rainbow Dash opened the doors to her office, only to find Blueblood lounging in her—formerly his—chair, with his hooves up on her—formerly his—desk. He startled, then turned his head from regarding several sheaves of paper held in his magic to give her a toothy grin.
“You’ve got mail!” he chirped.
She narrowed her eyes at him, then lit her horn, gripped his barrel in her magic, lifted him up over the desk, and deposited him unceremoniously on the other side.
“This must be what it feels like to get spam-filtered,” he said quietly, lowering the papers from his magic onto the great stack on her desk.
Dash stepped around the desk and sat down in her chair. “What do you want, Blueblood? I’m not exactly in a good mood, what with all the crap I’m hearing out of Hollow Shades this morning.”
“I heard a bit about that pile of guano, too. Sounds like a sticky situation… but ‘heavy is the head that wears the crown,’ or that gets crapped on… something like that?”
Dash stared at him, unfazed. “If you’re back again to try to talk me out of sending you to Tartarus, forget it. You’re going down there, and that’s final.”
He fixed the smile back onto his muzzle. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s an honor to be called to serve in… whatever we’re calling Tartarus these days. It’s a good cause, lots of needy ponies, think of the children, et cetera. I just think…” He bit his lip. “Well, to be honest, I’ve always thought of myself as more the sort of guy who gets on well at things like fancy dinner parties, or a higher class of brothel… or a lower class of brothel, if it’s all that I can find—”
Dash groaned and rolled her eyes. “We’ve been over this already! If Discord’s essence had come back to Fluttershy after we blasted Tirek, we wouldn’t have to count on you for anything. But Shy and Twilight can only do so much down there without somepony who can kinda control what Discord did to the place. You’ve got the last piece of him that anypony can find right now, and Twilight thinks it might be enough to help save a lot of lives.”
Blueblood shook his head. “If I’d had any idea that letting Discord come inside me in the first place would lead to this, I would’ve insisted that we find me some kind of protection. I mean, this assignment is literally the worst! Don’t get me wrong… the purple one’s pretty darn cute when she gets mad, and the yellow one’s got that whole maternal-and-nurturing thing going on, even if she’s not much of a looker—”
“Ugh, is it even possible for you to think with the head on the top-side of your barrel?”
He stamped his hoof and turned toward the door. “Well I, for one, hope we never find out!” He paused and glanced back before he reached it. “You really do have mail, though. Take a look; you’re being sued.”
“I’m… what?!”
“Well, not you technically; more like ‘the crown.’ Sounds like the matron of the Manehattan Orange family has some kind of claim to the land where you’re building New Ponyville.”
Dash grabbed at the top few sheets of paper on the tall stack. She scanned them quickly, trying to absorb what she could. Eventually her eyes settled on the signature line.
“What the heck kind of name is ‘Applejack Orange?’”
“I dunno, sounds anomalous to me,” Bluebloood said, shrugging. “I’ll tell you what, though: this is something I can help with. Wining, dining, and reclining the rich-and-or-famous is—”
“GO!”
Blueblood tromped out, grumbling. At last alone, Dash stared at the notice for a few more moments, then tossed it back onto the pile. She felt an urge to vent her frustration, and satisfied it by lowering her head to the desk and bonking her horn against it gently.
The pile shifted, then tumbled over, birthing a new ocean of paper that lapped across the desk’s whole surface before spilling over its edges.
Dash groaned loudly, then rose from her seat and walked over to the window, using it as something to keep her eyes busy while she thought about Kibitz’s report. Relations with their Yak allies to the North truly had been strained since she’d stepped-in as Equestria’s de facto ruler, although the Changelings seemed eager to be dealing with somepony who was more approachable than Nightmare Moon had been. But keeping Sombra’s Empire in check was still a key strategic necessity, and the last thing any member of the Coalition needed was to have half or more of Equestria’s army secede and gather against the rest of them at Hollow Shades.
The feelings of Scootaloo’s warmth, and Redheart’s wink, came to mind again. Dash let herself glance aimlessly at the various activities of ponies rebuilding their lives in the Upper City as she reflected on those feelings.
Becoming a Princess had never been part of her plan. The responsibilities it brought her were sometimes overwhelming, and rarely what she expected. Yet they truly represented a second chance; ponies now trusted her for their protection, including some who were closer to her heart than she’d ever thought possible. And Dash was determined not to betray that trust, nor to fail the ponies who looked up to her again.
She sighed as she realized that keeping one trust might mean breaking another.
The blue-green-coated pony who met Rainbow Dash at the gates of what had once been Lord Filthy Rich’s compound walked with a noticeable limp. He greeted her with a deep bow, a cordial grin, and a charming manner, though Dash thought she detected a hint of nervousness behind it, as though his shining silver sunglasses were not merely chosen to accentuate his style, but also to hide whatever pain he’d suffered during the Longest Night.
“She’s just up there, Princess,” he said, pointing toward one of the compound’s walls.
“Thank you,” Dash said, letting her gaze follow his hoof.
A white-coated mare stood at the top of the wall, looking out over the city.
Dash unfurled her wings and leapt, flapping, effortlessly propelling herself over the building and onto the wall. She approached the mare slowly, watching for movement, or recognition—but there was none. Dash stopped just behind her and waited for a few moments before clearing her throat. Seeing no reply, she cleared it again—louder this time. At last she followed it with: “Rarity?”
The mare startled and turned to face her. Dash’s heart sank as she saw the distant look in, and dark heavy circles around, Rarity’s otherwise bright blue eyes. Her mane was clean and still flowing, but it simply hung around her, rather than being styled in any particular way.
“Rarity…”
“Princess Dash,” Rarity said, inclining her head. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?”
“Uh… Rarity, it’s me. You don’t have to call me ‘Princess.’ Not now, not ever. Got it?”
“Of course, darling.” Rarity affected a small smile. “Where are my manners. Would you care to join me for tea?”
“Eh, tea’s okay, I guess. But listen… I know you’ve kinda… got a lot going on, with everything that happened, and taking care of Diamond Tiara, and everything else that Filthy… left behind.”
“Rich,” Rarity said automatically. “He preferred to be called ‘Rich.’”
“R… right. Sorry.” Dash nodded, but then turned away. “Look, I’m sorry. I promised you I wouldn't—”
“It’s about the situation with Hollow Shades and Wind Rider, isn’t it?”
Dash turned back, furrowing her brow. “How… have you been keeping up with what’s been going on?”
“I hear things, sometimes,” Rarity said, turning her gaze back out over the Lower City. “Lord Rich was rather well-connected.”
Hearing pangs of regret in Rarity’s voice, Dash frowned, and reached a hoof out toward her. “Rarity, I’m so sorry.”
“But we’re not here to discuss the past, are we?” Rarity asked, turning back toward Dash. “Am I to understand the kingdom needs my services?”
“Well… yeah. I mean, Kibitz thinks that you could—”
“I accept, of course. I can be packed directly, though I shall need a day or two to put things in order for Diamond Tiara, if you can spare them. Less, if you’d be willing to lend me Kibitz to help look after her. I regret not trying to establish more of a rapport with her when I… I could’ve had the opportunity to share that with both her and Rich together.”
“Rarity, stop,” Dash said. “I don’t want to push you into some big crazy diplomatic mission if you’re not ready. What you did… I mean, you saved us. I don’t know if I could’ve made the deal you did if I was in your place, or if I could’ve followed through with it. But you saved us, and I just want you to know… I respect you, and what you did. I may be the Princess, but it’s you who really earned it.”
“Nonsense, dear,” Rarity said in hushed tones. “I simply won a higher price for my soul than most ponies who would look to sell theirs. But I think… at least… with Diamond Tiara, I’ve found my penance, or a form of it. The poor thing might never be able to live independently, with all that’s happened to her.”
They met eyes again. “It’s really good of you to take care of her,” Dash said. “I think… he would’ve been happy knowing you were still… with him, in a way. Happy and honored.”
Rarity inclined her head again. “What use is life, if not to heed the call of service in the darkest places? Which brings us back to your request.”
“Uhh… sure, I can probably have Kibitz down here as soon as somepony can hitch up a cart and get him in it. Him and Sassy are probably just sitting up at the mansion as it is, grousing about what they’re gonna do if Wind Rider starts getting frisky.”
“Very well, then.” Rarity gave Dash a smile that didn’t seem to touch her eyes.
Dash studied the lines and wear on Rarity’s face, most of which she swore hadn’t been there a month ago. Eventually Dash swallowed. “Rarity… you know… we won, right? We saved the world, banished the darkness, and all that good stuff. I mean, yeah, things to the north still aren’t great, but it doesn’t have to be everypony’s job to deal with that… we just have this one loose end to tie up with Hollow Shades, and then that situation oughtta get back on track. There’s no reason why most ponies can’t just enjoy the sun and live their lives they way they used to, under Celestia—who you know we’re gonna get back someday soon, right?”
Rarity’s smile turned genuinely sad.
“Yes, darling… of course you’re right.”
THE END
Thank you for being with me at the conclusion of this journey! I didn't think it would take me 3+ years to get here, but I'm grateful both to be here, and to not be here alone.
My unending thanks go to Moosetasm, whose role in making this story happen went far beyond easy categorization as an "editor." Moose was there from the earliest moments of conceptualization, he's been a sounding-board and guide through innumerable changes along the way, and if you thought chapter 34 was hair-raising to read, you should've seen the all-day 11th-hour scramble that he and I went through to pull its final version together. Moose is truly a diaper-wearing king among men, and deserving of all your tacos. >> le inside jokes
I was fortunate to also have a pre-reading/editing team that included Waxworks, I-A-M, OnionPie, and Pascoite. Waxworks shotgunned the entire beta draft in a single day and gave very encouraging early feedback; I-A-M gave some crucial feedback on pacing in the beta draft (notably that Book 2 "slowed to an ass-grinding halt" initially); OnionPie labored mightily to help me improve the original 12-chapter run of this (plus a troubled 13th chapter that never quite got off the ground), as well as the first 3 chapters of the re-release; and Pascoite gave generously of his time to provide extremely detailed edits, notes, & feedback on everything in the "beta-plus" draft from start to finish. Without their aid, this wouldn't have been possible. (Not knocking Moose, but this has been such a huge monster-beast to work on that I felt getting a couple more perspectives would be valuable).
This story was conceived in large part as a tribute/love-letter to the era of Pony when I came to the fandom: late-S4 and into S5. I love S5 to bits, and I wanted to showcase as many of its characters & concepts as I could get away with. Not all the ways they ended up being used were "loving," of course; but that was the start of it.
Also, this story was heavily inspired by billymorph's A World Without Kindness. It's much shorter and more Fluttershy-centric than this. Please read it if you haven't!
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Alex Warlorn · 1.2k words · 23 4 · 987 views
- EquestrianTwist · 2.2k words · 39 2 · 2.7k views
- Omegathyst · 1.8k words · 31 2 · 390 views
- Telaros · 2.7k words · 54 1 · 1.1k views
- Comma Typer · 9.1k words · 15 2 · 855 views
- Opium4TmassS · 15k words · 50 7 · 1.6k views
- PatchworkPoltergeist · 9.2k words · 67 3 · 899 views
- marisajmorris · 1.2k words · 23 2 · 1.4k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.166 seconds
Total duration
673 users online
902,496 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
No victory comes without cost. Sometimes it's nothing anyone will miss: Time, opportunity, a few hours of terror in the night. But others...
The sun is up. A new day has dawned. That means it's time to get to work and start assessing how many of the local evils are necessary. (And, for that matter, maybe taking another look at the whole "alicorn = leader" thing.) And some people are less well equipped to do any kind of soul searching than others, precisely because they used to be better at it.
Thank you for a fantastic read. Much darker than my usual taste, but you made it work to an exquisite degree. Congratulations on seeing it through to its end.
And with that, the juggernaut rolls to a stop. Well, first of all, thanks for writing this, and doing the work to redo the story, it has been a pleasure to read it.
So, Princess Rainbow Dash uber alles is it? Once she convinces certain rebels to stand down, that is. I wonder if she will be able to resist the temptation to follow in NMM's chosen way of dealing with "malcontents"? Appearing strong and in control can both help and hinder negotiations with unfriendly foreign powers. It's going to be a tough call.
Well, at least it wasn't Princess Big Mac, I guess that's good...
I'm surprised Discord can't pull himself back together, a lot of what happened seemed to be just up his alley. Well, I guess with Fluttershy's help he'll make some sort of a future for himself. And speaking of futures, Rarity seems headed for a sadder, but wiser one, it would be interesting to see what the passing of time might make of this universe. I guess all's well that ends...
Well...
But that brings up the ultimate loose end doesn't it? Back in the canon universe Twilight will eventually get Starlight to stop interfering with the Sonic Rainboom and restore the world that Zecora had sensed was supposed to be. When that happens, and I've wondered this since the end of Season 5, what happens to this and all the other alternate universes? Do they continue, or do they simply become something that never was? Have Rarity and the others really won a chance at a brighter future, or are they destined to just fade to white one day, and what will it all have been about?
9358769
Thank you so much for coming along on the ride! Writing is one of the most bizarre and indirect performance arts out there, and it's delightful to know there are people viewing the performance and being reached by it.
9360212
Thank you for your many comments! You were an exquisite reader.
And yeah, it went full dark (never go full dark). Certain aspects of this were beyond uncomfortable for me to even think on, much less to write, much less to keep bottled-up inside my head for 3 years while I tried to get the damn thing written and finished-up. The main example, as you might imagine, was Piegeist.
I loved it when you coined the term "Piegeist." I was like, "Oh thank God, now I've finally got a shorter and more consumable name to summarize the horror of what's really going on there." I was on pins and needles as I was gearing-up to release chapters 13 and 21 in particular, because those were the moments when I was committing to Piegeist, and there'd be no going back once they were out. (Then also 28 and 30... didja catch those references? They're a lot less overt when you read them the first time, but IMO there's some horror in a second reading. There was certainly horror on my end, writing them!)
One thing I very much wanted was to be as respectful as I could of Pinkie herself, even though there's a fundamental and appalling disrespect that had to go along with doing Piegeist. I ended up making some hard choices (and occasionally fighting with Moose, who kept urging me to go all-in
) to try to walk that line. Writing the reveal in 33 was particularly agonizing, because there again, it was that balancing act of trying to be adequately clear without wallowing too far into the "bad stuff" aspect of it and/or beating people over the head.
9360578
Forgive me for going on a roll with this, but you bring up a lot of things that echo some lingering thoughts as I sit here looking at this through the rearview mirror, and if I don't say them now I'll just end up looking for an occasion to say them later.
So much good stuff here.
It does indeed. This monstrosity has been part of a frighteningly big chunk of my life. I will never look at the concept of "free time" quite the same again, because obviously I must have enough to write something this huge!
And a delight to read comments!
I truly wanted to avoid going back over the earlier chapters, but it became necessary as I tried to get everything to sync up across the book as a whole. I started with the question: "Can I write a serial novel?" And the answer is: "No, but I can write a novel-novel." So, lesson learned. 
First of all: death of the author here, you guys decide what you think! Personally though, I think Dash has a hard road ahead of her. She's got a strong enough moral compass at this point to avoid doing NMM-style displays of power, but her backyard is a lot less clean than Celestia's in the prime-verse. Wind Rider will absolutely be a problem for her, beause he's a true believer in what she just destroyed. In fact, if I was going to write a sequel (which Lord knows it was hard enough getting this far), I would probably include some elements of Wind Rider trying to tempt Rarity to whatever "dark side" he can rig up. Not that she's eager to walk further into darkness, but she's gone deep enough to be vulnerable.
Generally speaking, I look at Wind Rider as the single biggest threat they're up against, because he knows all the players, knows how to play them against each other, and he's absolutely unafraid to do things that others would consider evil in the name of advancing NMM's ideal vision for a dominant thestral race and a submissive or dead pegasus race (which of course gets into some Unfortunate Implications reeeeeeeaaaaaaal fast).
Second place is probably the Changelings, because I'm pretty sure NMM would've put the fear of the Nightmare in them, and now they don't have her to limit their activities. Good ol' Sombra is a really distant third, because when the chips are down, everyone would (and did) ally against him to keep him contained, and he doesn't seem artful enough to overpower the entire world lined up against him.
I think it's in the Book 4 opener that I say something about Discord being impossible to kill per se, and any attempt to do so just resulting in him being cast to the winds to re-form eventually. Now that all parts of his essence are on a single plane of existence again, I wouldn't be shocked if Blueblood starts feeling a lot less like himself...
Poor Rarity was already suffering from the trauma she'd experienced when the Longest Night began. What happened to her by the end would only amplify that. She doubtlessly needs a lot of time, friendship, and counseling, before she'll be able to feel remotely whole again. One can only hope she'd be able to get those things, even though it seems she's still willing to dive back in and continue serving regardless of the damage within her heart. There again though, I think there's potential sequel-fodder in the question of what might happen if Rarity doesn't stop to get the help she needs. It's not a healthy thing to try to carry on doing good when your heart is a void... because as ponies said, nature abhors a vacuum... and there are darker things that might be out there looking for a host.
I have thought of this often as I wrote this. And do you know what my answer is?
100% hand-wavey BS. :-p
The way I wrote it here goes with the thought that each of the universes seen in S5 E25-26 was "sharded" off the prime-verse by Starlight's time-travel shenanigans. In other words, they were created by Starlight's actions at the very moment she interfered with their timelines. This raises the question of whether Starlight and Twilight were truly traveling through time, or if they were just jumping through possibility-space--and this story more-or-less assumes more the latter. I'd like to think I can shelter a bit in some "many-worlds" theory on this, and/or appeal to early-90s Star Trek logic. But this is why the whole thing with Zecora and the recurring mentions of an "anomaly" were in there: the universe truly did not exist until a certain point when the M6 were fillies, and the zebras (for whatever reason--but supported by canon in S5 E26) have enough time-space awareness to know that this worldline isn't the prime one.
But no, seriously, it's mostly just hand-wavey BS on my part. I saw a universe that I desperately wanted to tell a story in, and so I took the leap of assuming it might stick around after Twilight and Spike left. Or I asked the question of what would happen if it stuck around afterward.
I wish I had a slightly better answer for that one, but that's the honest truth and I don't regret writing in this universe regardless.
Coffee Minion
Well, as long as you had fun doing this, that's the most important part.
As for the
of course it is, in the end it's a bit of fiction written about a fantasy, what else can it be? Lol. So sure, the universe can persist I guess. Actually, I'll have to go check, but I have vague memories that in "Back to the Future 2" Doc and Marty (were they the inspiration for "Rick and Morty"?) talk about screwing up timelines and having to jump about to get back to the right one. I wonder if the writers were influenced by that. Anyway, looking forward to what ever is next for you. More Limestone? More Bass?
9360739
More Limestone indeed. I've had a basically-finished story with her sitting on the sidelines since August/September, and I just haven't been able to get the time and mental clarity away from Hell to give it that last push across the finish line.
HAPPY END
No but seriously that was a pretty sobering final scene. Rarity will never recover, at least not fully. I like your choice to end the mostly-hopeful epilogue on a darker note.
Also the Elements of Harmony are definitely gonna end up in the hands of the Mane Six, and it's gonna be...... weird. I always like the idea of other versions of them, which is part of what draws me to Cutie Re-Mark fics, and these are certainly some other versions of them...
Wait, Pinkie Pie is dead, I keep forgetting that. ... She could still be the wielder of Laughter. GHOST FRIENDSHIP
9360828
Blue, cough, blood, cough.
9360841
You know, I really should've thought of that. Yeah, he'd fit the bill. I feel like to wield an Element of Harmony, even Laughter, he'd have to become less of a jackass though. (I hope Cranky Doodle won't take that personally.)
9360847
Speaking as a jackass, “None taken.”
I can't say enough good things about this story. Congrats on its success!
I came to this story at around the halfway point, and it quickly became one of my most anticipated notifications on my feed. There were a lot if threads that I attempted to piece together as I was reading, and while I got a couple of them, I was usually surprised where this epic went. I'm glad to have been able to read this as it was released, and is now one of my favorite Dark tales. I will definitely look forward to whatever you end up working on next! Cheers
9361787
Thanks for reading!
This is wonderful to hear.
The end.
That hiatus did a number on the story, but thats fanfic for you. Overall though, this story tried to bite off too much and ended up bumrushing the ending.
I was very much looking forward to reading this, and it didn't disappoint. This was a truly wonderful read.
Excellent world building, genuinely surprising twists and turns and so, so emotionally engaging.
Many props for your characterisation work here. You took characters like Sassy whom I despised at the start and made me root for her at the end. Despite his being an utter lecherous twat, you gave me a soft-spot for Blueblood too. His interactions with Sassy were a particular highlight.
My main complements, though, have to go to your Rarity, who I think is a criminally misunderstood character. She's my absolute favourite thing about this entire show/fandom and has long been the sole thing that gives me any interest in the actual show anymore. Your presentation of her was top-notch. I think many people forget that generosity is such an integral part of her character. Here, it colours every moment of her journey and leads to her, as Rainbow said, being the true hero of the story.
Really high praise mate, can't wait to see what you get up to next!
9376037
Thank you, and I’m glad you enjoyed it! It’s always great to hear that Sassy in particular paid off in the end. She was always the hardest character for me to write, but I felt strongly that she’d have something important to contribute if I could get her right.
And Rarity is just a magnificent character to work with. By the end of this I’d come to feel genuinely awful about the hell I was putting her through, yet she possesses a compelling strength and ability to bear up under difficult circumstances.
Nopony suffers quite as well as Rarity does.
What a ride! This AU had me locked in from the first paragraph! Well done!
9360758
Angry waifu is definitely neglected on this site, I hope she can get a little spotlight
9418949
I assume you mean Limestone? I agree that she needs more attention. I almost regret killing her off here, because I think she makes for a great triumphant hero; but sometimes it’s fair to write the hero dying for a good cause, no?
9412594
I know, man; this fic is just a mile a minute.
9411338
I’m glad the joke landed! Ironically I put that in to help set up something else later that didn’t play out quite the way I thought it would in the final draft. But if it works on face value anyway, I can live with that too!
9379993
Thankee kindly!
9419230
You got it mate
And I wasn't upset by the way she was used, I felt like it ended perfectly. This is one of my favorite stories, and I'm just upset that there were some great characters in the fandom that don't get much spotlight overall.
Regardless, I'll look back on this as a great experience, cheers
Read through this in about two days, coming away with mixed feelings. Overall, I thought it was an excellent take on how life would go on, sort of, underneath Nightmare Moon. Especially the Rarity sections, dealing with Sassy and Rich and Blueblood. Quite a bit of interesting world building.
And then, about halfway to two thirds of the way through, I just... stopped caring. Like, everything that Rarity was going through, the various machinations between the different factions, it had started off interesting. And, for the most part, continued to be, though it did feel like it went on for a bit too long.
And, I believe, the reason for that was almost purely Cheese Sandwich. Everything to do with him felt ridiculously overpowered, every time he came on screen. I thought it was Pinkie Pie at first, but then he turns into an amalgam of Joker, Batman, and Pinkie Pie levels of knowing how everypony will react and physics breaking and cool gadgets that nopony else has access to or knows exist. It just threw my suspension of disbelief out the window. Every single time he tried to appear sympathetic, where he reveals parts of his past, and how he feels, every single time comes across as lying purely to play on Rarity's heartstrings.
And then he becomes the Element of Laughter.
That sealed it for me. Cheese Sandwich is the literal last pony that should play that part. His laughter is that of a hyena, and his optimism is non-existent to the point where I questioned why he didn't just kill himself, and instead has to barter playing the part in order to get Rarity to do the deed.
Rainbow Dash gaining the ability to channel the sun because she's an alicorn stretched a little, but not compared to the Elements merely using the six closest ponies to channel their power.
I thought the fight with NMM vs Tirek had a fitting conclusion, but Tirek gained his power far too quickly. If Starlight had Discord's power, and that is enough for Tirek to go hoof to hoof with NMM, why didn't it help Starlight from a simple knife from Cheese? Why doesn't she just heal the damage, as Fluttercord is shown doing seconds before? In the show, Tirek is shown absorbing exactly one attack, that of Shining Armor, and this is just before he tries to take the power of the alicorns - so, after he's absorbed hundreds, if not thousands, of pony's magic. Even after he has Discord's power and is fighting Saiyan Twilight he never absorbs her attacks, merely shields or takes the hit. Why could he absorb NMM's attacks?
I thought the conclusion / epilogue was quite appropriate, leaving a good space for any future works in the setting. And everything isn't sunshine and rainbows, despite those becoming quite a prominent motif in the new hierarchy.
Finally read this after putting it off due to being, concerned, with how things might go given the premise, and damn, wish I'd read this sooner. It really was damn good, even amazing in spots. Though, not without some issues that did kind of pull it down for me, but never to the point I didn't enjoy it. 9437832 Pretty much summed up my biggest issues, Cheese felt way too OP and came off like a Creator's Pet, I cannot see him being, at all, an acceptable Element of Laughter, even a dark version of it. It just pushed him too psychotic. The NMM v Tirak fight was, epic in theory, but too much of a curb-stomp to really get invested in, and swapping the big, climatic threat from Nightmare Moon, who caused all this, who half the characters spent their whole arcs coming to terms with being willing to stand up to, who drove the whole narrative from the start, to Tirak in full "Mindless engine of DOOM!" mode killed a lot of the emotional torque that had been built up.
That said, while the ending had issues, the build up was phenomenal, both the direct, but also kind of subtle ways we see how these character's lives were changed by not having the Rainboom. Seeing how ponies we know should be good are able to justify working for NMM like they are, and have their reasoning work. Able to carry so much horror, sadness, and despair, without going all WH40K grimdark about it. Seeing them grow, change, learn, come to grips with who they are, what they are willing to sacrifice to save the world... Yeah, it was epic.
Rarity was by far my favorite, and while I liked Sassy's stuff, it did feel like her change of heart could have been better done, I get the idea it was trying to go for, but it felt a bit too quick to work. RD, when she finally got over feeling sorry for herself, was freaking amazing! And seeing her relearn how to care about other ponies after having avoided doing so for so long... and saving the world by adding what was stolen from it so long ago... just amazing. The only real issue I have with her bit is the whole 'can now control the sun because Alicorn' thing doesn't make sense. Her becoming one I can buy, being the channel for that amount of pent up narrative force, yeah I can buy it, but the ability to control the Sun and Moon was never a result of Tia and Luna being Alicorns, but their own unique talent. Twilight can't do it without shaving some portion of their power. But, need a way to get the Sun back without Tia as well I guess.
Yeah, the world building on this was just.... so damn amazing and by far my favorite aspect, everything about it works, makes sense, and yet can still be surprising. The emotion, the conveying the sense of hopelessness in the world and how hard ponies are fighting to keep hope alive was conveyed so well. Overall, barring the overdone nature of Cheese and the ending emotional climax kind of feeling less grand then the story deserved due to the above issue with swapping bad guys, this story was phenomenal, and even with those issues, still really, really damn good.
You can has review!
Page turner the whole way through.
God damn that was amazing.
Shamed I took so long to read it.
~Skeeter The Lurker
10520010
I'm glad to hear this old thing can still work some magic. Thank you kindly.
10521511
Old, sure. A classic? Absolutely.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Holy shit.
Every word of this had me on the edge of my seat. Incredibly disappointed that I left this on my Read Later for so long. I was constantly wondering when the pair from the prime timeline would show up properly and so overjoyed that they didn't. This is a wonderfully fitting resolution.
Me gusta. Damn, why did I leave this in tracking for so long?
I've always been partial to Princess of Storms myself, feels like Rainbow if she was alicorn of something concrete and not abstract like loyalty would have weather and such as her domain, though given that she took the throne immediately following a long night, Princess of Dawn or Sunrise would probably be more appropriate.
This fic is Incredible and I really should have more to say about it, I'm definitely gonna do a reread soon to catch up on everything i missed (and maybe make a tvtropes page if you're cool with that?) cause I just know my adhd-wracked brain missed out on some of the foreshadowing and setup, I will admit by the second book my brain was going like "Uuugh political stuff nothing much happening zoning out" but then I got into the second half and god the story gripped me so much and I NEED to go back to read it with new eyes.
This ending just feels so perfect, for all the characters. I don't think I would've minded seeing a bit of Sassy and not just third person recounting, but I get why you did it, she's not really a focal character the way Rares and Raerae was. And speaking of them, aaaaugh. You did such an amazing job of bringing Rainbow from the arrogant showoff she is in canon, to a depressed wreck, to a hopeful, responsible, and heroic woman, and in the process show how she could grow into the role of princess. I'm a sucker for Princess Rainbow fics in all situations and even I gotta say that most of the time I don't trust her to be a good ruler but you Really sold me on her arc and the sense that Equestria will be in good hoofs under her rule, even if they never get Celestia back (god poor Celestia if she does come back, sister dead random girl you've never heard about on the throne. Time to retire maybe). The idea of Rainbow Dash having an office where she does paperwork does feel weird though. And then also her being with both the ponies she loves, I know I was kinda joking about Rainbow and Redheart getting married and adopting Scootaloo but I'm so glad I was right (guessing that her aunts died and weren't sent to tartarus, if that was stated then I missed it. ADHD again), them being together and happy after everything. Aaaaaaaah my heart I'm so happy for them I love them you sold me on yet another rarepair
And then Rares. It's the bitter part of the bittersweet ending that always hurts the most, isn't it. But it's an ending that, if not entirely happy, feels like there is life and hope in the future. She's alive, she's raising a child and happy with it, and even if she will never be the same again, she has friends and people who love her. Heck, the ruler of the land is probably her best friend and even if that means she gets pulled away for responsibilities at times, she cares about her and wants her to be safe and happy (also if Scoots and Diamond got along maybe Rainbow and Redheart can babysit, not a lot of kids get to brag about being babysat by the god-empress). But it makes sense for her to be like this, it feels... if not happy then satisfying, it feels like a good and poignant way for her character to go. She suffered so much and she will never be the same, she's living in a happier world but she's not happy herself. It's bitter, it's sad, but it's an ending and at least she won't have to suffer any more (and not in the death sense, in the sense that she's safe and has people looking out for her)
This fic was amazing and this ending was so beautiful and poignant, I love it to bits
The entire sense I got from this final epilogue really gives me the same feels as the song In Our Bedroom After The War, about all the troubles that are still there, the scars that remain after all the suffering, but at least the war is over.
This was good, I think. I've been unusually chatty for this story, so I may as well share my final thoughts.
Something about this story didn't jive with me, and I rather regret that. I can't tell if it was the pacing, tone or just a poor first impression. Book one was so fast paced with such jarring developments that I nearly put this story down entirely. Thankfully the other books developed a flow that never shook me loose again.
I regret that this didn't quite jive with me because so much of it was quite well done. I'll spare you the full breakdown, but the fundamentals are well executed. Whenever I questioned some story element, it was almost always easy to come up with a textually supported explanation. I recorded a few of those moments as comments.
The character work was correctly done, though never elicited much emotion from me for some reason. Many emotional beats caught me by surprise, and my response was usually to consider if they were justified moments—which I believe they all were—from a rather detached perspective. This is mostly what I mean by the story not jiving with me. Otherwise, It was fun watching Rarity engage with intrigue and spycraft, and I enjoyed comparing that to Sassy's direct and confrontational style, but I wish I'd gotten some more time with Dash playing off Wind Rider.
In short, the author deserves a bunch of praise for a well crafted story. I wish I could offer better feedback about what failed to engage me, especially because I broadly enjoyed this story. I expect I'll get the mood to reread this again some time. Maybe it'll be clearer then, or maybe it'll just jive better that time for some reason.