• Member Since 1st Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen Nov 10th, 2021


Comments ( 10 )

Ha that ending

what will happen when they be inside rainbow dash too long?

What the hell did I just read ? By the way the last part is funny. Rainbow dash should have learned how to get her friends out before doing what she did . I can't belive I am asking this :ajsleepy::applejackunsure:but will there be a sequel ?

Good story can you do more unbirth story with rainbow dash please

yeah, what Dinokid11 said you should more unbirthing stories.

A lot of unbirthing art has the victim regress in age to the point of a late-stage fetus. Then, when formation is complete, they are - quite literally - reborn.

I personally find it extremely hot.

I finally got around to reading this, and wow; I mean wow!
It could be my bias of the unbirth fetish talking, but this was fantastic. This is the kind of clop I think I could read over and over and probably suffer an early orgasm every time. Your execution was perfect, besides a few things that I'll address in a second. Before that, though, I just can't drive home the point enough that this is what unbirthing is really about: no death, no pain: just a warm, cozy canal slowly pulling consenting beings into an even warmer womb.

Now, as for the flaws... there aren't many, but those that are there did ind of distract from the story. Just a little.

1) You seem to overuse the word "practically." Remember to be sparing with multiple uses of words and that multiple use should be more spread out.

2) Be careful with using underline and other such commands. When Rainbow Dash says "SO GOOD," you have the space after her quote underlined.

3) While this is a sequel, I feel there should be at least a quick recap of what Rainbow Dash is or what she learned in the other story. Some people, like myself, might read this without wanting to read the long prequel. I just wasn't sure in this story if Rainbow Dash was still a regular pony or not, as she had been through an adventure that I did not know the details of. But! that's my fault for not reading the prequel, so it's entirely your decision.

4) At two points, at least, you wrote possession by Dash as "Rainbow Dash'" without the required "s" after the apostrophe. Is there a reason for that?

The following two "flaws" are completely my own opinion, so take these with a grain of salt.

5) Applejack being forced in turned me off a bit. I felt better when it was said that Fluttershy knew she'd be safe, and I felt even better at the end when AJ enjoyed it, but the initial forcing was just a bit too much for me.

6) There's no sequel where these five lucky bastards are rebirthed in some hot trans-formative or regressive clop scene. Seriously, unbirth is nothing without rebirth, friend. xD

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