• Published 20th Dec 2015
  • 7,926 Views, 307 Comments

John Honeycrisp Apple - Robo Bro



The human farmer, John Apple, has been injured. With no family to inherit, he is set to lose his farm. Unable to cope, he seeks to end it all. Much to his confusion, he wakes up as a pony and surrounded by talking ponies who are calling him "father".

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Chapter 6

John Apple didn’t know how much time had passed since his mother had tucked him in on the couch, but the sun had begun to peek through the window and he could detect the scent of cinnamon wafting in from the kitchen. Careful not to aggravate his back, as he had left his pain meds in his bedroom, he crawled off of the sofa and made his way towards the kitchen, stopping to lean against the doorframe as he observed the one inside.

Applejack was humming away cheerfully as she flipped pancakes on a griddle. He smiled to himself as he watched her head swaying back and forth with the tune she produced. He recognized the melody, but couldn’t quite place where he had heard it before. It was simple, yet pleasant, and he found it quite suited his tastes. Soon he found his own head swaying in tune with his daughter's humming.

Applejack turned from the stove, a platter stacked high with pancakes held between her teeth. She paused a moment when she saw that she was being watched, but quickly continued her task of setting the food onto the table, which was already set with five plates and a bowl filled with some kind of salad.

“How long were ya standin’ there?” Applejack asked, a slight flush to her cheeks.

“A couple minutes.”

“Ya shoulda said somethin’.”

“And interrupt that beautiful song?”

Applejack’s flush deepened. “It was jus’ some hummin’.”

John’s smile widened at seeing her so flustered and suppressed a chuckle. “It was still very pretty. It sounded familiar, where’s it from?”

“Ya recognize it? Does that mean yer rememberin’ stuff?”

John shook his head. “No. Why?”

Applejack’s enthusiasm faltered. “It’s jus’ that it’s a song that Mom used to sing to us when we were little.”

John was taken aback by her answer. A song that Rosewood sang? He tried thinking back on his years in school when he had known Rosewood, for some definitions of ‘known’, he didn’t even remember talking to her once. He didn’t think he had ever heard her singing, whistling or even humming that tune back then, though he supposed it was possible he had merely forgotten what with how long ago it was. It probably didn’t matter, as he doubted that a song his Rosewood sang was likely to be completely unique to her.

“Anyway, breakfast is ready.” Applejack changed the subject. “Help yerself, ah’m gonna let the others know.”

He did as his daughter suggested and sat himself at the table. As he transferred a small stack of pancakes onto his own plate, he breathed deeply of their wondrous aroma. They smelled heavily of cinnamon and a bite into one revealed the presence of small apple chunks. They were delicious, so much so that he chose to forgo using any of the toppings that were placed on the table.

Next he inspected the salad bowl and was quite surprised by what he found. It was a mixture of roses, hay, lettuce, chunks of apple and some kind of dressing. It was the weirdest looking salad he had ever seen, and he felt rather unsure about eating it. Then again, he was a horse now, so perhaps it wasn’t all that unusual for him to eat things like roses and hay anymore. After a moment’s more hesitation, he scooped out a small pile beside his pancakes.

Just as he finished filling his plate, Applejack walked back into the kitchen with a still half asleep Apple Bloom following close behind. The younger of the two crawled onto a seat beside John and struggled to keep her eyes open and her head from falling onto her plate.

“Granny’ll be here in a minute, but ah couldn’t find Big Mac, he wasn’t in his room.”

“He’s likely still in my room.” John explained.

"What’s he doin’ in there?”

“He had a pretty rough night.” He eyed Apple Bloom as she mechanically ate the pancakes that her sister had filled her plate with moments earlier. He didn’t really want to talk about alcohol in front of her. “He’s probably still sleepin’ it off.”

Applejack stared at her father for a moment before she realized just what he was saying.

“Ah see. It’s been awhile since that’s happened.”

“What happened to Big Mac?” Apple Bloom piped up, apparently more perceptive than her zombie like demeanor would have suggested.

“Oh…uh…it’s nothin’. He’s just got a real big headache, that’s all.” Applejack answered uncomfortably.

“Huh…” Apple Bloom looked thoughtful for a moment. “It’s probably from drinkin’ all that alcohol you guys keep hidden in the barn last night.”

John nearly spat out his pancakes.

“And how do ya know ‘bout that?” Applejack asked with a stern voice.

“Ah’m thirteen, do ya really expect me not to know what a hangover is?”

“Ah meant the alcohol in the barn.” Applejack’s eyes narrowed.

“Oh, that. Ya’ll ain’t very good at hidin’ things.”

John held back his laughter as he watched Applejack’s surprise and indignation at her little sister’s bluntness.

“Why, if Granny Smith knew ‘bout this, she’d tan yer hide so hard ya wouldn’t be able to sit down fer a month!”

“Fer the record, sis, under yer bed ain’t a good hidin’ place neither.”

Applejack’s eyes bulged and her face lit up with a luminescent blush.

“What did she find under yer bed?” John asked, filled with morbid curiosity over what could get such a reaction from Applejack.

“Nothin!” She blatantly lied, her blush extending all the way to her ears. “Ah’m sure she found nothin’, just like ah’m sure she didn’t drink none of that alcohol she found and that Granny don’t need to know ‘bout it.”

John tilted his head and raised an eyebrow, but AJ avoided his skeptical gaze by burying her face into her plate of pancakes. He turned his attention to his younger daughter.

“What’s under Applejack’s bed?”

“Ya heard her, there’s nothin’ under her bed.” She gave an innocent smile and then she too turned her attention to her breakfast. John shrugged at his failure to solve the mystery and let the issue drop. Whatever it was, it couldn’t be any worse than the stuff he had kept hidden under his own bed when he was younger.

Conversation hushed up for awhile as everyone ate their breakfast, not even the entry of Granny Smith elicited more than the obligatory, though still cordial, greetings. Halfway through his own pancakes, John stared with a little trepidation at the salad he had on his plate. He had been skeptical of the salad from the start, so why oh why did he put any of it onto his plate? It would be awfully rude to just leave it there and even worse if he tried to put it back, so it looked like he was stuck. He had to give it a try. With a slightly wavering hoof, he raised a forkful of it to his face.

“Is somethin’ wrong?” Granny Smith asked.

“No, no, it’s fine, nothin’s wrong.” He answered.

Realizing he was being watched, he swiftly bit the bullet by biting into the amalgamation on his fork. His eyes lit up as the salad touched his tongue, and he quickly chewed through it and swallowed.

“This is really good!” He exclaimed between mouthfuls of the delicious substance.

“It sure is.” Granny Smith chuckled. “That there is Rosewood’s old recipe, ya always did love the stuff. Pretty sure she started makin' it specially to win over yer heart back when ya two first met.”

“She musta been a very smart girl, then.” He responded as he scooped a comically high pile of salad onto his plate, completely burying his forgotten pancakes and not noticing Applejack’s frown over him still not remembering her mother.

“Ah’m done.” Apple Bloom announced as she pushed her chair away from the table. “Ah’m gonna go get ready fer school now.”

“Just a moment, there.” Granny interrupted her exit. “Yer father wanted to go with ya to meet yer teacher.”

Apple Bloom’s eyes lit up and she looked over to John. “Really?” He nodded, unable to voice his affirmation with a mouth full of rose-hay salad. “That’s great! Ah’ll be right back and then we can go right away!”

John’s heart warmed at the little filly’s enthusiasm as she bounded off. By the time she came back, he was only half way through the mountain of salad he had and was already regretting his decision to take so much as he began to feel the sting of an overfilled stomach.

“Alright! Ah’m ready!”

“Yer a little early yet, ya don’t need to leave fer near half an hour.” Applejack stated in an attempt to slow her sister down.

“Normally, yeah, but ah’m goin’ with Dad this time, an’ ah wanna take our time gettin’ there.”

“That’s awfully considerate of ya, Apple Bloom, willin’ to slow down on account of yer father’s back.” Granny praised her with a warm smile.

“Huh? Oh, right! Ah jus’ wanted to spend some time talkin’ to him, but that’s a good reason too!”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Alright, but ya need to wait anyway, he’s not finished eatin’.” Apple Bloom deflated at her sister’s words. Seeing his chance to excuse himself from the monstrosity he had created on his plate, he took it.

“That’s okay, ah wouldn’t wanna disappoint her.” He cut in, and then blushed slightly as he continued. “Ah took too much anyway.”

“Okay then, if that’s what ya want. Ah’ll take care of yer dishes, go on an’ spend some time together.” Granny said as she made a shooing motion, eliciting a cheer from the excitable Apple Bloom.

“Thanks, Ma. Ah’ll see ya later. You too, Applejack.”

John followed his energetic companion out of their home. When he walked down the steps of the front porch, a lightning bolt of pain arced through his back and nearly caused him to fall over.

“Are ya okay?” A worried Apple Bloom asked.

“Ah’m fine,” he reassured her, “do ya think ya could go get my medicine fer me? It should be on the nightstand in my bedroom.”

“Sure thing!” Apple Bloom gave a little salute before rushing back inside the house.

“Try not to wake up Big Mac while yer in there!” He called out to her receding form.

“Ah won’t, ah’ll be as quiet as a mouse!” Nearly immediately after, a large crash could be heard coming from inside. “Ah’m okay!” Apple Bloom shouted at the top of her lungs.

John shook his head with a slight chuckle. That poor, hung over stallion. There was no way that he didn’t hear that. A couple of minutes later, Apple Bloom zoomed back out the front door with his pill bottle between her teeth and leaped from the porch to get to him faster.

“Thanks.” He said as he took the bottle from her and popped a couple pills into his mouth.

“Looks like ah didn’t need to worry ‘bout bein’ quiet, Big Mac was already awake when I got into yer room.” John chuckled again. “What’s so funny?”

“It’s nothin’, don’t worry ‘bout it.”

“Okay!” Apple Bloom responded cheerfully, surprisingly willing to just let it go.

She began walking towards her school and John followed after her. At least, he assumed she was leading him to her school. Given his lack of knowledge of the area, she could have been leading him to an underground gambling den filled with grizzled criminals for all he knew. Not that he expected she would be involved in anything of the sort. At least he hoped she wasn’t.

“Is it true ya don’t remember me?” Apple Bloom interrupted his thoughts with an armour piercing question.

“It’s true,” he sighed, “ah don’t remember you, yer siblings, or much of anythin', really.”

“Hmm…that’s okay!” She announced in a shockingly jovial tone. “Ah don’t remember ya neither. We can get to know each other like new friends!”

John marvelled at her positive outlook on the situation. He had been worried that she might hold some resentment like her sister seemed to, but instead she took it in stride. He could probably stand to learn a thing or two from her.

“Ah guess I should say somethin’ ‘bout myself…uhh….well, ah’m Apple Bloom, but ah guess ya already know that much. Me an’ my friends, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, make up the Cutie Mark Crusaders!”

“The Cutie Mark Crusaders?” He parroted in confusion.

“Yup!” She affirmed, coming to a stop and indicating a patch of fur on her flank where most ponies had a picture of something. “We’re always crusadin’ to find our special talents so we can get our cutie marks!”

“Oh..ah see.” He answered as they continued their journey, still a little confused at the concept. “What sort of things do ya get up to?”

“Everythin’! We’ve tried dancin’, martial arts, bakin’, swimmin’, arts and crafts, talent shows, campin’…we got covered in tree sap from that one.”

John was legitimately impressed and a little envious. He had been a rather anti-social kid and hadn’t had much opportunity to do things with friends like she seemed to be doing. It sounded like they had racked up an impressive list of activities. Before he could comment on it, she continued.

“Rock climbin’, mountain climbin’, knife sharpenin’, jugglin’, bungee jumpin’, bull fightin’… the cows made us apologize to the bull fer that one.”

John blinked at the growing list. This was starting to sound dangerous.

“Makin’ fireworks, settin’ up fireworks displays, tight rope walkin’, fire eatin’, snake charmin’, lion tamin’, makin’ hang gliders, hang gliding…we ended up covered in tree sap from that one.”

John’s jaw dropped at their increasingly dangerous feats.

“Uh…ah don’t know what to say. Wait…ah thought it was campin’ that got ya covered in sap, not hang glidin’.”

“Campin’ was the first time we got covered in sap, hang glidin’ was the third! An’ despite all the stuff we’ve done, we still don’t have our cutie marks!”

“W..well, ah’m sure ya’ll get em soon. Meanwhile, jus’ be careful an’ stay safe.”

“We’re always careful!” She assured him cheerfully, which did little to allay his concerns. He decided that he would have to have a talk with Granny Smith about her escapades later.

Apple Bloom spent the rest of their trip talking first about the adventures the Cutie Mark Crusaders went on in excruciatingly terrifying detail, and secondly about the adventures that Applejack had gone on with her own circle of friends. It seemed impossible to believe all the things that Applejack had done. If it really was true and not just exaggeration from a little sister that idolized her, she had rescued Equestria from some sort of powerful moon creature, a spirit of chaos and an army of invading bug monsters that could take on the form of your loved ones. Applejack’s adventures made her sister’s look like relaxing walks in the park by comparison.

As the conversation continued, a small schoolhouse slowly crawled up in the distance. Several foals could be seen running about and playing on the playground. As they got closer, a pair of young fillies rushed over to intercept Apple Bloom.

“Hello, Apple Bloom!” The first one greeted. She was a pretty little unicorn with a white coat and a purple and pink mane.

“Hey there, what’s up?” The second one added her own much more tomboyish voice. She was an orange Pegasus with a purple mane. “Is this your dad that you were talking about?”

“Yup!” Apple Bloom answered proudly.

“We tried to meet you yesterday, but Granny Smith said you were asleep.” The white one explained. “My name’s Sweetie Belle!”

“And I’m Scootaloo!”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He bowed his head in greeting.

While the three excitedly spoke to each other, mostly about him, he couldn’t help but remember all the stories of their crusading. Did their parents know what they were doing in their spare time? And if they did, why hadn’t they done something about it?

“So wait… you mean to tell me that he has somnesia?” Scootaloo asked.

“Amnesia.” Sweetie Belle corrected, eliciting an eye roll from her friend.

“Yeah, that.”

“Yup!” Apple Bloom confirmed.

“Do you think we could get our cutie marks in fixing his memory?”

The filly trio, all in unison, turned their gaze to John. It was a very uncomfortable experience for him. He felt a very sudden urge to run away.

“Cutie Mark Crusader memory fixers!” They shouted together at the top of their lungs, nearly deafening him.

“Any crusading you three do will have to wait until after school.” A new voice announced, eliciting a three part harmony of disappointed groans from the fillies and filling John with relief over the reprieve he had just been given.

Turning to find the source of his saviour’s voice, he was met with a pinkish purple mare with neither horn nor wings. A kind smile was upon her lips and three smiling flowers greeted the world from her flank.

“Hello there, sir. I’m Cheerilee, the local school teacher. Given the resemblance to Apple Bloom’s brother, would it be safe to assume you are a relative of hers?”

“Hi there, ah’m…Honeycrisp.” He answered, pausing very briefly to stop himself from calling himself John. He wrestled with his conscience by pointing out to himself that it wasn’t really lying, Honeycrisp really was his nickname.

“He’s my dad!” Apple Bloom cheerfully added.

“Your father?” Cheerilee’s face scrunched up. “The same one that disappeared in the Everfree Forest?”

John blinked a couple of times as he tried to remember if he had been told at any point in time that he had gone missing in the Everfree Forest, but found he couldn’t. He had only ever been told that he had gone missing, the where had never been revealed to him. Looking down to Apple Bloom revealed a face nearly as perplexed as his own.

“Where’d ya hear that he went missin’ in the Everfree?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Big Mac told me.”

“That’s funny, he never told me that.” Her face twisted into a displeased frown.

“Maybe ya jus’ weren’t told on account of yer age.” He suggested.

“Nu uh! Granny told me everythin’, she didn’t leave nothin’ out!”

“How would ya know if she didn’t tell ya somethin’?”

“She told me that Mom was eaten by a chimera," Apple Bloom deadpanned, "ah don’t think she would have kept where ya went missin’ secret from me if she told me that.”

John had to admit, it would seem silly to tell her the horrifying details of how Rosewood died only to keep something so tame from her a secret. He had to conclude that Granny Smith didn’t know either.

“Okay, I have two questions.” Cheerilee interrupted. “First, you don’t know what happened to you?”

“He lost his memory, there’s a lot o’ things he don’t remember.” Apple Bloom answered for him.

“Okay, next question: do you mean to say that Big Mac never told his own family about what happened?”

“Nope, he’s been real quiet ‘bout it.”

Cheerilee’s face darkened. “Well then, he and I are going to have a talk about keeping these kinds of secrets from those who really need to know them.” A bell from the school rang, indicating that classes were soon to begin. “After school is finished of course.”

She shooed the foals off towards the building.

“I’ll come by the farm after school is out. I’m sure that Big Mac will be delighted to fill you in on details he has thus far omitted.”

“Ah appreciate that, Miss Cheerilee.” Even if it didn’t matter too horribly much to him what happened, since it hadn’t actually been him, the rest of the family deserved to know.

“Just Cheerilee is fine.” She replied with a smile, her prior anger having vanished entirely.

“Ya must be real close to Big Mac fer him to open up to ya like that, seein’ how he never even told his family.”

Cheerilee blushed furiously. “Oh, umm….we’re just friends, I assure you.” She denied that which he had implied. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a class to teach.”

John grinned as Cheerilee trotted off to the school house just a little bit faster than was necessary. She may have denied it, but that blush was telling him a different story. If she and Big Mac weren’t a couple yet, then he doubted it would be long before that changed. Ma was right, too, she seemed a very good mare and he’d be glad to have her as part of the family. A family that wasn’t really his.

His grin vanished as he began his return trip home. He had thought that these ponies were just figments of his imagination, but the more time he spent here, the more he questioned that assumption. He had never been the smartest or most imaginative of guys, so he found it increasingly difficult to believe that his mind was creative enough to have come up with all of this. If they were real, then he was running the risk of severely hurting them with his continued lies. No matter how much it would hurt him to lose his new found family, they deserved to know the truth before they had a chance to get too attached to the lies.

With an ache in his heart to match the one in his back, he resolved himself to tell them all before the day was through.