• Member Since 14th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

fourths


But sometimes it does.

E

It's the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, and school has just gotten out for the long weekend. Pinkie, Rarity, Applejack, and the rest of the gang are talking all about their plans for the weekend, seeing family and making dresses and whatnot; however, one of their friends doesn't have anywhere to go or anything to do.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 23 )

Here are the results of quickly ctrl+F'ing the cast in this thing:

Applejack: 3x
Fluttershy: 7x
Pinkie: 13x
Rainbow: 10x
Rarity: 9x
Sunset: 57x
Twilight: 45x
Spike: 0x

That's a downvote.

That was a sweet story! :twilightsmile:

6670970 I chose to leave Spike out to focus on the friendship between Twilight and Sunset. I am sorry if you do not like this; I am sure there are plenty of other fics out there that include him. :raritywink:


6671232 Thank you!

Very nice story :twilightsmile:

Write MOAR pls

6670970 and this is relevent… how?

Poor Sunset! I now that it's just my mother and me, and my sister and brother-in-law coming by for a bit before going to visit his family, it's nothing like it used to be. Not as bad as Sunset's situation by any stretch of the imagination, but this time of year has become very melancholy and depressing.:ajsleepy::raritydespair:

A very short and sweet story. Good work. :)

6670970 Spike is just a dog in EQG.

Very nice, quick read, and happy Thanksgiving to you too

It's so fluffy I'm gonna die!!

Yes. Yes. Yes. YES. Reading this just makes you feel so...warm and relaxed. This is sweet 'n cozy. :heart: Well done my friend :pinkiehappy:

The best part of this, for me, was the description of Sunset making the hot chocolate; it built-up slowly while conveying a great sense of peace and calmness. I also liked the imagery and action that you gave Rainbow Dash toward the beginning; it just felt true to the character.

In contrast, I felt there were a few moments of wooden dialogue. Not all of it felt that way, but for instance, the part where Twi and Sunset are talking on the porch felt a little stilted. Twi's dialogue had enough ellipses to be hard to read, while the way Sunset phrased her parts felt a little... I dunno, just "off".

But still, this was worth reading and I upvoted. :twilightsmile:

6673711 Thanks for the feedback! I'm new to this whole writing thing, so it's good to get some criticism so I can better myself in the future. And thank you for your kind words. :twilightsmile:

I'll bet twenty bucks that Shining's wife is Cadence.

6671329 Yes, I noticed it focused on Spike's closest friend and her friendship with Sunset...which is why it was so very important to mention their other five friends several times.

6687341 I don't know if you've read it or not, but I think it's pretty clear from the story that the rest of the Mane 6 are necessary to make the contrast of everybody having somewhere to go and something to do as opposed to Sunset's situation. Again, I apologise if this isn't your thing; I'm sure there are plenty of other fics out there in a similar vein that include Spike as well. :twilightsmile:

Just gave this a read today, and I really enjoyed it. :3 How Sunset Shimmer has been getting by in her life since coming to the EqG world is one of the things I love thinking and reading about, and I liked what you did with her -- it was feasible without being (too) depressing, and functional without being too fanciful, if that makes any sense at all. XD

Each of the other main characters felt in-character enough to not be distracting from your story's point, and I absolutely adored every moment that Sunset and Twilight spent together. I think you wrote them in a very fluid and organic way, and I think you wrote a very natural, caring friendship between them. (the fact that I ship them like FedEx has nothing to do with this, I'm sure). It just felt very warm and sweet, making your choice of focus in Sunset's portion and the name of the chapter poignant and clever.

All told, I think your story very accurately recreated the feeling of Thanksgiving break with your friends, and the ending left me warm and happy. A lovely story, and well worth a favorite. :3

Incidentally, I find a few of your word and grammar choices unique: the fact that you spelled it "favour" with a 'u', and called it a "rubbish bin". Have you spent any time in the UK in your life? Or is that just a preference thing?

6670970

Just noting that there's a single downvote on this story, a year after it was published.

Arbitrary metrics are probably not a good way to decide whether or not you downvote something.

A very heartwarming tale, and is Featured in November for Twilight's Library

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