A teen named Eris was put in a mental institution after she burned her house down just to watch it burn. She always loved staring at fire she mainly just watches mlp all day and night. She is huge fan of the character discord she loved everything about him. She hates how she is stuck in this nut house and just wishes she could be like discord one day but, even the most craziest of dreams can come true.
I saw your post earlier on my feed and here are some corrections
1. Capitalize 'Even,' 'Crazy,' and 'One' in the title and ellipses usually only have three periods in them
2. Capitalize 'Chapter' in the chapter title
3. 'Violet Price' is a name so it should be capitalized
4. "My name is violet price I am 19 years old." You can either seperate those two clauses with a comma or a period
5. "I am most know for causing lots of destruction and chaos whether it be intentional or not." 'Know' should be 'Known' and you should add a comma after "chaos" and before "whether"
6. "All my class mates call me Eris." You'll want to make "class mates" one word, and put apostrophes around the name Eris
7. You know, if you have this on google docs and share it with me, I might be able to help you out more but I'm too lazy to put it all in one comment. PM me if you still need someone to proofread it
6671581 thank you for the help now it also says I need to put some paragraphs where would you recommend me to do that
Sure thing. Just know you'll likely want more input from others because, as I've said, I'm too lazy to put all the corrections. So anyway...
"...goddess of chaos." And then new paragraph.
"... honestly I think it suits me better." And then new paragraph.
"...a mental institute." And then new paragraph.
Honestly, there's too much to put here and I can't see how it would look like newly-formatted. This stuff is mostly what you think so just keep putting new paragraphs wherever you think they'll look nice. There really is no rules to putting new paragraphs except for when new people are talking and all that.
Attention my first chapter has been updated and fixed most of my mistakes I hope you enjoy it
MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!........plz
Ya think?
Dimensional Technologies will be sending Diligates to talk to Discord and Eris
She probably doesn't have to worry they like crazy people . But Discord better get a silver tongue quick
I leave for a few hours, come back and refresh the page and out of nowhere, this fic just changed on me. Wow. Good job!
Wow first fanfic. It's way better than my fanfic "Lost Hope". It even has more views than mine and it only came out not to long ago. To be honest I'm a little jelly. Keep up the good work!
I also laughed so hard that the eggnog I was drinking came out of my nose!
6674405 discord, discord, discord, in chaos there are no bad idea just idea's that end well for others.
I liked the first chapter, but your disregard for puncuation is something that really makes the story lose its appeal. The reason is because lack of comma separation makes writing sound monotone and bland.
6675687 writing is not as easy as it looks
She's aware of MLP, so she's not in the EQG universe, but the guard has blue skin?
...
I'm just gonna chalk it up to one of her pranks, like she put dye in the lines that run water to his house or something, which would also explain his particular dislike for her.
6676254 actually there in parallel dimension to the equestria girls movie world where none of that magical stuff happened but since discord is discord he can mess with the portal so he can go to more than one dimension
6676655 Yeah, you have to clarify that sort of thing IN the fic, otherwise people get confused, and confusion is off-putting.
The main factor is she's aware of EQG as what it is, which further makes your blue-guy confusing.
Her grey skin is easily explainable, as it's a real thing. Minimal contact with sunlight and artificial light can lead to skin greying as it compensates for a lack of vitamin D.
It's not common, but it's there, along with allergies to the sun, like my sister has, or hyper-sensitivity to light, like myself.
I bet KP, IloveKimPossibleAlot, would love to meet discord for realz.
SECOND CHAPTER IS OUT !
MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Poor Thomas. .....
Nah
Tough luck dude.
I mean, how could he know about the portal and that it transforms your body
:D
maybe do a seasons 5 ep 25-26 chapter? maybe oh i don't know tell starlight that there the freaking elements? or that if she go back and undo thing hello fallout equistria also this is a spoiler so be warn
Hey can I borrow Eric's for my story? It will only say her name. Please?
Eros not Eris's. My bad.
I mean not Eric's, Eris.
6677670 sure but make sure to link my story and OC
Not Eros, Eris. This is getting me really mad because I just can't type right!
It's a good story so far. Please continue.
Well thanks again for letting me use you character! Don't worry I wrote all good things about her. I even put how much Discord enjoyed Eris.
CHAPTER 3 IS OUT !!!!!!!!!!
Oh hey who ever reads this if your one of those people that submits the story so they can be on your sight would you mind looking at my new story please https://www.fimfiction.net/story/302342/evil-cant-die-but-it-can-changesometimes-in-unexpected-ways
yay
For those of you who enjoy this story a like my work I have another story about King sombra and I must warn you it rated mature for reason might be obvious at first but there is more than just that but other than that I hope you will enjoy this story
(P.S. He gets genderswaped and is not happy about it)
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/302342/evil-cant-die-but-it-can-changesometimes-in-unexpected-ways#comment/6678711
I kind of hope that it wasn´t Discord, and that she is going to suprise him too.
......Well I guess it can still be funny, the last time Discord was suprised about another one of his species wasn´t that special, but it would have been a nice extra.
I´m normally against this explanation in a story, but sometimes I don´t see the harm in it either.
I don´t know how much I like Thomas to be there, but I honestly think I want to give it a chance, till now nothing exactly bad happened.
Twilight and discord didn't move and had no idea what do without getting me killed.
I get the feeling you are either speaking about Twilight, and Discord or you actually meant Twilight, and not Discord here.
I have nothing against that joke, but where is the point in Discord being asleep, or pretendng to be, if they don´t even see him? I thought you would make Twilight getting panicked, and scare them afterwards.
Well the story is not bad, and it is still kind of just starting, and what I mean with that is, that I want to give it a chance.
I somehow already like it, but I´m unsure about what you let happen next. I get the feeling it could get either pretty bad, or pretty good, but I´m going to be nice about it anyway. I mean I can´t help you if I would be just mean about it. I can at least give you my opinion on the later chapters.
That last line, you should have put it in italics or something to convey his thought's because you wrote the rest of that section in third person.
Bravo! I would love to make a toast to this very amazing author. This amazing peron has made not one but two amazing stories. We will all clap our hooves now. CLAP CLAP. Thank you do much for these amazing things. May you be successfully amazing! YAY SO HAPPY!!!
6686078 thank you I really appreciate the the support
Wait 16 dislikes?! What da buck? This amazing! Those butt head buckers just don't see true talent!
BEHOLD THE AMAZING AUTHOR OF AMAZING STORIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Welcome to hell ma-pony, hey you can be with collegehumor
I hope I can like Thomas a bit more later, even if he had a reason to be mean at Eris, he somehow looks a bit crazy too right now, and because of that I hope there is no Derpy X Thomas or something like that till he changed himself a bit.
Well I still like it, even if I´m used a bit longer chapters, but I can´t really blame you for that.
Ello!!! I know you might not get this but can you make more chapeters for this too? I know you're busy but plz???
Plz continue this amazing story
is it really that hard to write out the word two?
Hey can you have Eris give him a cloud that rains apply pies at him and give Derpy a cloud that rains muffins?
6839470 Odd clouds that rain foods are kind of "been there, done that" when it comes to chaos powers. Mix it up a little!
6841274 Well give Derpy HER MUFFIN CLOUD!!!!! :D
FORWARD ONTO MUFFINS!!!!!!!
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRhcGcQNV-42wegtWYCvMsZgisi48OxKIIcOXGYMbGo3Km8T11v
YES!!!! IT IS HERE!!!!! Darn it. Theives stole the next button.
The synopsis makes this story sound like it needs a dark tag. Why doesn't it have one?