Chapter 4
Rainbow dash was in some shade watching discord tell me how to use my powers. Discord said. "Ok let's start with something simple like levitation. To levitate all you have to do is imagine your in a endless space void and there is no ground beneath your feet. I'll demonstrate"
He then levitated like he usually does and then appears behinds me. "Now you try."
He startled me and then a piano appears above discord and falls on him. Then his head pop out piano's keys and it shows him with a mouth full of piano keys. I laughed hard and then he spat them out and got out of the piano. "Sorry discord, hehe it's still hard to control my powers hehe."
He then smiled "hehe it's alright I am more durable then I look."
I then smiled and he then made a lawn chair appear with him in it next to rainbow. I then concentrated and then thought of being a endless space with no ground and the next thing I knew I was floating. After a few practice times I mastered it pretty quickly. Discord clapped at my mastering levitation. "Ok know that you have master levitation let's see if you can master making normal items appear."
I then smiled "oh I love that one"
Discord said. "Great ok this one is simple but is not easy. All you have to do is clearly envision the thing you want to appear and then snap your fingers to make it appear."
I understood and nodded. I then concentrated on something simple. A apple, I then snapped my fingers. What appeared was a giant apple with razor teeth and wings. "This is going to take a while."
---Thomas POV---
*meanwhile at twilight's home*
I then wake up to find myself in big metal chains. I spend a few minutes trying to get out but I couldn't do anything. I then look up to see a purple pony with a horn and wings I think I heard Eris call her twilight. "So twilight is it what do you want ?"
She kept a stern look on her face "I am here to explain a few things and figure out your punishment."
I then was shocked at what she just "YOUR PUNISHING ME ! AND LET A WANTED CRIMINAL GO FREE ?!"
She kept the same face "why would I take your word after you just tried to kill Eris half a hour ago ?"
I stayed quiet for a minute "listen you have no reason to trust me but I swear to my life that Eris is dangerous !"
Her face is unchanged "first off I still don't trust you. And 2nd that's why I have her a trainer and a guard to keep her company while she try's to keep her powers under control."
I had a questioning look on my face "powers ?"
She still had that face "yes the species she has become has god like powers."
That statement alone scared the hell out of me. "Uh in that case when can I go home."
Her expression then turned to a little embarrassment. "Uh yea about that. You see when this portal was originally made it only went to one dimension. But over time I found out away to make it go to one dimensions. But all of them had the price of staying closed for 30 moons. So I then found away to put that price on only one dimension. Unfortunately your dimension I put all those prices on and it made it permanently closed. But looks like discord used some of his magic to open it for a while which is how he brought you and Eris here. I checked with him to see if he could do it again to send you back when you were holding that thing up to Eris's head, but he explained that he could only do that once to bring her here and you were just unlucky enough to fall through before it closed. I'm sorry but your stuck here."
That just made me speechless. She then replied back in the stern voice. "while I am sorry for bringing you here that does not excuse you for trying to murder one of my citizens. So I have 2 punishments for you. The 1st since your stuck here you need a equestrian name so people won't question you every single you mention it. Me and my friends will still call you Thomas if that will help. Anyway for your new name in public is 'security shot' or 'sec' for short. It was Eris's idea I think it suits you."
I rolled my eyes "well it could be worse"
She continued in the stern voice "As for your 2nd punishment will be a sort of community service. You see we have this grey Pegasus named derpy hooves that has a habit of accidentally causing large amounts of collateral and gets picked on a lot for it. She is one of those 'special' ponies and all we need you to do is to make sure she doesn't cause too much damage while keeping her safe. Do we have a deal ?"
I gave it some thought. "Alright sounds fair I mean how hard can it be to take care of one pony."
Her face tried to keep it still. It looked like she was hiding something. "Oh don't worry about where you will sleep, she has a guest room at her house. I'll show you her house. Here let me out of those chains."
She then let me out of my chains and we walked outside. Then I heard something coming in fast. "LOOK OUT"
Then a grey blond maned crossed eyes pony with wings with a bit of a New Yorker accent came out of know where and crashed into the roof of someone's house. 5 seconds later while still in the house exploded and the grey pony landed right in front of my feet I mean hoofs. "I don't know what went wrong ? oh hi I'm derpy what's your name."
I just stared at her for a minute. I then spoke in a uneasy voice. "Uh my name is security care it sec for short. I'm so pose to keep you out of trouble like a personal guard."
She just smiled "ok that super you and me are going to be best friends"
She then gave me a hug.
'What have I gotten myself into.'
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That last line, you should have put it in italics or something to convey his thought's because you wrote the rest of that section in third person.
Bravo! I would love to make a toast to this very amazing author. This amazing peron has made not one but two amazing stories. We will all clap our hooves now. CLAP CLAP. Thank you do much for these amazing things. May you be successfully amazing!
YAY SO HAPPY!!!
6686078 thank you I really appreciate the the support
Wait 16 dislikes?! What da buck? This amazing! Those butt head buckers just don't see true talent!
BEHOLD THE AMAZING AUTHOR OF AMAZING STORIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Welcome to hell ma-pony, hey you can be with collegehumor
I hope I can like Thomas a bit more later, even if he had a reason to be mean at Eris, he somehow looks a bit crazy too right now, and because of that I hope there is no Derpy X Thomas or something like that till he changed himself a bit.
Well I still like it, even if I´m used a bit longer chapters, but I can´t really blame you for that.
Ello!!! I know you might not get this but can you make more chapeters for this too? I know you're busy but plz???
Plz continue this amazing story
Why is he being punished? I mean sure he did tried to kill someone out of anger.
But she trusted Eris, just like that?
We all know Discord is untrustworthy and Rainbow can't do buck against a chaos user. Whether she is training or not.
Also, Thomas and Eris, both aren't even real citizens.
And finally, I'm pretty sure that his cutie mark is kind of a universal sign of authority. She has been in the human world before, so she should of known that he was a guard.
I like what you're trying to do. The main plot of the story and how it's gonna go and all, but there are somethings that need to be straighten out. Though it wouldn't matter anyway. Since you canceled the story and all. But I just needed to say it. You did you're best, and I wish you luck as you continue in the world of writing.