Noteworthy and his two best friends Caramel and Lucky enjoy magic, just like any other normal pony. One day, they watch one of Twilight's spells a little too closely and find themselves drastically changed by the experience. Now they have to travel to Cloudsdale and find Twilight Sparkle to change them back.
How will they cope with their new appendages? What will Caramel's fillyfriend say? Will Noteworthy ever get the courage to talk to Pinkie Pie? Will Lucky be stuck with the same ridiculous friends forever? Why is Twilight in Cloudsdale? All this and more in the first of a series of stories centering around the author's favorite, Noteworthy, That Blue Pony.
Chapters (4)
This story is going to have PinkexBlues.
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You have no idea how excited I am to know of this.
YESSS. Please keep writing, I want to see more.
*ahem* and, uhh, of course I'll be nice enough to deliver some unbiased critic as the story goes on. But for now, I see nothing bad.
Noteworthy is one of my favorites as well, so you can't really imagine how exited I am to read this. Putting this on my read later list.
722853>>722922 I'm excited that you're excited. Really.
Disregard fourth wall. Acquire CURSES!!!!!1
The transitions could use a little work and the descriptions could use a little more vividness. The humor's fine but could use just a bit more flavor. Other than that, it's still good so far, even with the mild issues I just pointed out.
Keep writing.
771644 Okay, thanks for the feedback!
wait, what's flavor?
771649 You know how bread tastes like by itself, until you toast it and add honey or something to it?
The humor here is sort of like that, only untoasted and with peanut butter. A trouble to chew and take in, still good, though. Try adding some sarcasm. Since this is from Blues' pov, give the humor a pinch of his attitude, with the outside stuff a little more carefully thought.
That's the best I can do.
771672
My Noteworthy isn't sarcastic, sorry.
771676 Oh. Well, I hope you still find some way to improve. This story has potential, just needs a bit more work.
The fourth wall, IT BURNS!!!!!
Well just try not to use large chapter titles,
772887 What do you have against them?
This chapter is funny! I love spikes comments about how they could just be random background ponies- I'VE THOUGHT THAT TOO, SPIKE! XD
856890 I'm glad I'm finally conveying humor effectively.