Remembrances
I don’t remember a whole lot of what happened next. I know I started running up the tunnel while I tried to get the other vial out. I know I spilled at least half of the potion on the ground, which explains why I woke up somewhere in the middle of the desert surrounded by teleported piles of rock. All I know for certain is that the mountain is half as tall as it used to be. There isn’t a tunnel. There isn’t a cave. There isn’t any dragon smoke.
In retrospect, I’m glad I spilled half the potion. I didn’t want to go home anymore. At first I thought walking back to the train would be enough time for that to change. Then I thought the overnight train ride would do it. Then I handed the conductor a couple gems and let the Ponyville station pass by.
Afternoon court was in session when I arrived in Canterlot. Ponies from all over were lined up to have a word with Celestia, all of them waiting patiently in a line that stretched from the throne room to the outer gate. None of them said anything as I walked by. Maybe they didn’t see me, since I’m so short. Maybe they didn’t know what to say to a little dragon who was busy staring at the ground.
That changed as soon as I walked past the first pony in line and entered the throne room itself. Celestia’s warm, quiet voice carried to every corner of the room, as did the rapid hoofsteps of two guards running forward to stop me.
“You there! You can’t just—”
Celestia stopped their approach with little more than a whisper. “Let him pass.”
She was at my side a few seconds later, wrapping her wing around me. Twilight would’ve peppered me with questions that I didn’t want to answer. Celestia simply said something perfect: “What do you need?”
Lifting my gaze from the floor hurt my heart as well as my neck. I stared into her eyes, those beautiful pools of boundless patience and love, and did my best not to cry. “Can… can I stay in Twilight and my old room for a while… alone? I… don’t really want to see any of my friends yet. Is that okay?”
She nodded without hesitation. “I’ll escort you there myself. You can stay as long as you need to, Spike. I’ll make sure that your other friends know you’re safe, and that they need to give you some time. Everypony who works in the castle is at your disposal, myself included.”
She briefly looked back to her royal court. “I’m truly sorry, everypony, but I have to step away for a few minutes. We’ll resume the court shortly and run as late as we need to make up for the delay.”
Collective groans traveled down the line of ponies waiting to speak to her.
Celestia clearing her throat was enough to command silence. “Equestria is built upon families. Please don’t begrudge me for taking a moment to care for mine.”
She didn’t say anything more. I didn’t either.
---
As soon as I was alone again, I collapsed on Twilight’s old bed instead of my own. I closed my eyes and, for the first time in I don’t know how long, genuinely slept. I tried to sleep away the tears that hadn’t fully stopped since the mountain. I tried to sleep away who I’d come from. I tried to sleep away what I’d done. Most of all, I tried to sleep away what I was. I wasn’t just a dragon living among ponies. I wasn’t even a dragon; if I was, I’d be a giant monster, and not the mindless kind like when I’d let greed take over. A real dragon version of me would be even worse, because I’d know what I was doing and still not care.
Sleep didn’t help. Every few hours, or few days for all I knew, I’d wake up, scarf down a few of the gems left over from my trip, and try to drift off again in search of something better than reality. Instead, my dreams were worse than ever. I would’ve given anything to keep my old nightmare, to just sit around on the floor and wait for one of my friends to squish me on accident.
Instead, I’m at the edge of Ponyville, running back home and getting bigger all the while. Fire shoots out of my mouth as soon as I open it, burning every building in sight to the ground.
“I’m sorry!” There goes Sugarcube Corner.
“Look out!” Goodbye town hall.
The townsponies run away as soon as they see me, even before my breath sets their homes ablaze and my giant feet finish what the fire started. They see the monster I’m supposed to be, the horrible dragon that burns them up and eats their bones.
The library always comes last, and of course my friends are gathered there to welcome a much smaller version of me back. They run away screaming too, and yet somehow I knew they couldn’t run fast enough to escape my now building-sized footsteps. One of them was going to get squished on accident, and I wouldn’t even know it. That above all made me the monster I was supposed to be: too big and dangerous to even know whom I was hurting.
Then one night, long after I’d lost track of time, something changed. Just as I was about to catch the library on fire while my friends ran away, one pony stopped. Rarity paused at the library’s door and turned back to face me.
I needed to make her leave. I couldn’t let her get burned up by my fire or crushed under one of my giant feet. All I could do was shake my head. Go away! I can’t stop myself! I don’t ever want to hurt you!
She spoke in Luna’s voice. “Is this how you see yourself now, Spike?”
After taking a moment to silently process whom I was actually speaking to, I nodded.
“Then perhaps we should go somewhere more suited to your size.”
Ponyville melted away around us. Now we were in a grassy field bordering the Everfree Forest. For me, there wasn’t much of a difference between a tree trunk and a blade of grass. Luna, now in her true form, was seated on my shoulder. “Do not fear your own voice, dear Spike. My powers in the mind of a dragon are limited, but that is one thing that I can do.”
I held my mouth open for a moment before daring to test her promise. “Is… is that why you never visit me in my dreams? My nightmares have been so bad for so long…”
She winced. “I most assuredly would have come to your aid had I known! Whilst you dwell in distant Ponyville, I can barely perceive your slumbering mind, let alone enter it. Your presence in Canterlot—”
“He never even asked my name.”
One of her hooves touched the side of my face. To me she was little more than a moth. “You found a dragon on your quest, I presume?”
I nodded. “Yeah, but… but it was awful… worse than anything I ever imagined.”
“That much is clear from your dreams. Although I have not visited you in the past, I am here for you now, Spike. Speak your mind, let me share your burdens.”
Tears welled up in my eyes, despite my attempts to hold them back. One falling drop would wash Ponyville off the map. “I can’t. I can’t talk about it. Not yet anyway. I’m sorry you came here for nothing.”
“Then merely talk about what you can. Do not fall forever silent, and do not try to carry your pain alone forever.”
She leaped from my shoulder and grew into a giant herself by the time her hooves touched the ground. She cradled me under one of her forelegs. “You need never carry what troubles you on your own, not when you have friends like me who are here to listen.”
I wanted to melt into her soft coat. The best I could do was return the hug. “Thanks, Luna. If… I mean… What should I talk about?”
“Whatever you choose to. The first step is merely to talk.”
“Okay… I’ll… I’ll try.”
---
I read once that all dreams are actually over really quickly, but that couldn’t have been true this time. It felt like Luna and I stayed in that field for hours.
We talked. Not about what happened, or even about anything important. Talking had never felt so good. “And that’s why Twilight sorts her clothes alphabetically instead of by color.”
Gentle laughter reverberated through Luna’s middle. “Princess Twilight is a very… thorough pony, of that there is no doubt. Do you feel more at ease?”
“Yeah. The pain’s still there, but… but I think I can do something about it. Thanks, Luna.”
“It is more than my responsibility, Spike, it is my pleasure.”
I looked out over Equestria. I knew we were still in a dream, but the sunlight peeking over the hills gave me the sense that our time was almost up. “Do you really have to go?”
Her wing wrapped around me again. “Yes. Morning is nearly upon us, both in this dream and in the waking world.”
I perked up. “That means Celestia’s going to be awake soon, right? Could I see her?”
“I will see to it. Use the night’s final hour to compose yourself. Once the day breaks, somepony will come to escort you.”
“An hour? I have to wait an—”
And then I sat up in bed. Even in the dim moonlight seeping through the shut curtains, I could tell the room was just as messy as I’d left it. My pack lay open on the floor and all my stuff, the things I’d carried so long and so carefully, were all over the place. I think I took the bag off so quickly that just about everything flew out.
I slid off the bed, and my foot touched something bulbous and cold. I knelt down and picked up Pinkie’s gift to me, a rock with a smiley face painted on it. “Hey… um… Hi, Rocky.”
I set the rock on the nightstand. “I’ve kind of got some time before I see Celestia and talk to her about… everything. Could you… keep me company until then?”
I milled around the room, collecting my things. “I’ve got some amazing friends, Rocky. Pinkie made you for me so I wouldn’t have to go all by myself. I thought it was goofy at first, but she’s way smarter than we give her credit for. It’s almost spooky, sometimes.”
I took a second look at my companion. “Even spookier than talking to a rock.”
Fluttershy’s blanket was dirty with sweat, grime, and gem fragments. I shook it out a few times and rolled it up. “Fluttershy is super-kind and sweet. She thought I might get cold, so she made me this blanket. I guess I could’ve made the trip without it, but I’m so glad I didn’t have to. It wasn’t just about staying warm; the blanket helped me remember that all my friends were still thinking about me.”
The remains of Applejack’s hat came next. A quarter of the brim had been burned off, and singe marks covered the rest. Part of me still wanted to wear it. “Applejack is the most honest, dependable, and hard-working pony I know. She gave me this hat, and she wears one just like it. When I first put it on, I felt just as big and tough as she is.” I set the hat on my head. “And I still do!”
The rain cloud bottle was gone, but I pretended I was holding it up. “Rainbow Dash never lets a friend down. Not ever. She gave me a raincloud in a jar, just in case I needed water in a hurry, and did I… did I ever.”
I grabbed my bag next. Rarity would have a heart attack when she saw what had happened to her gorgeous gift. Half of the little pockets were slashed open, and the flap for the main compartment was completely gone. I still couldn’t ever throw the bag away. “Rarity made me this, Rocky. She’s the most beautiful pony ever. It feels kind of weird saying that since… since I’m not a pony. I-I probably won’t ever have a chance with her… but maybe that’s okay. She’s an amazing friend, and I want her to be happy.”
That just left the pony who’d helped me most of all. “Twilight. She hatched me. She hatched me when nobody else even thought I would. I guess that kind of makes her like my mom, but… but she’s more like my big sister, because we’ve been growing up together ever since we met. I hope we never stop.”
I stowed everything in the remains of my bag, Rocky last of all. “Those are my friends, Rocky. They’re the most amazing friends I could ever hope for. I’m… I’m going to go see them soon, just as soon as I talk to my mom. My real mom.”
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Oh, well I was rather surprised you breezed over how Spike made his way back but I guess the story is about the destination rather than the journey. Still good though, keep going.
Must.......hold back.......... dem feelz.
img10.deviantart.net/8be7/i/2015/321/b/7/run_ii_by_hillbe-d9h136o.jpg
Momlestia is the best.
I knew it. I. KNEW. IT! Celestia's Spike's adopted mom!
6717057 *And so, Alondro takes over Hasbro and crosses FiM with the Care Bears JUST TO ENRAGE YOU!!! He's THAT level of troll!* All hail President Trump...
This is so sweet. I love the portrayal of Luna doing her special duty with such diligence and kindness. Poor Spike's feelings are understandably a mess; between finding out your race and your own father is traditionally horrible and probably accidentally killing said father at the same time would be hard for anyone with a tender heart to take, and Spike definitely has one.
I also like the portrayal of Celestia as being more like Spike's mom. Twilight never really gave off that vibe. I kind of wish they'd do more with that in the show; it makes sense, and it would open up another side of Celestia's character.
Great story so far; you cover your themes really well, even the harder ones. I look forward to the last few chapters and seeing how it all plays out.
There's a story in that...
So Spike hoards Friendship now. That's why he hasn't grown, he's going to be young foreeevvvvveeeerrrrr
Struggle to come to open.
Poor Spike, it's a shame his aunt could not be there for him, I'm sure she would have done whatever she could of to help him if she was able to. I love Spike so much.
I'm surprised no one has commented on this yet, but…
…how would he tell?
9231990
“Or maybe it was Mrs. Cake’s voice doing a Luna impression.
Either way it was super hot.”