• Member Since 10th Jul, 2011
  • offline last seen July 24th

Masterweaver


Just an average insane brony, doing average insane things. Professional Fanfiction Writer and Purveyor, relevant links are on my profile page.

Comments ( 41 )

I enjoyed this one. It feels more like the beginning of a story though.

Yes this is a prologue -- After I finished it, I went back and looked again at the complete tag. Makes no sense. Or am I in denial?

I do agree with Cynic, this is interesting, but, it very much feels like a beginning to a story, not just a stand alone one, maybe you'll continue it, maybe you won't, I will keep an eye out to see if you do though.

This makes it four. This isn't a story, this is the opening preamble to one.

This isn't a story so much as it's a Rarity-flavored observation of a major inconsistency in the show. Don't get me wrong, it's a very well-written observation, but you don't do anything with it beyond noting the issue's existence. I'd love to see Rarity point this out to the others, start a conversation, do something, but as is, this feels like like a beginning without a middle, much less an end. Yet it's marked complete.

What was the intent behind this piece? Where did you want to go with it?

Agreeing with the others: Quite well-written, but nothing really seems to come of this observation.

It really seems like it should have been the beginning of a story where the Mane Six actually confronts why they haven't gotten near any recognition for their deeds, not a short-one shot like this.

I agree that at this point, the mane six have earned more recognition. YES they're humble and most just want to live their lives, and Equestria doesn't HAVE mass communication.... but... at this point, it's cheap.

pre12.deviantart.net/5c2b/th/pre/i/2015/325/8/5/bed_time_story_by_hillbe-d9hkh8m.jpg

And after thinking weak and short the Elements and dragon went on vacation and let Discord have his fun
ponies everywhere remembered that but still had trouble recalling the heros-
So they retired and lived their lives as close to normal as possible.
THE END

Gee daddy saving douchebagles is just a waste of time!
:moustache::raritywink: Yes it is :facehoof:

As I have observed in my own writings, the ponies of Equestria are either criminally negligent when it comes to following the news, or criminally stupid when it comes to almost everything, and neither one is terribly comforting.

I wonder if they'd get more attention if someone published that the Mane 6 were receiving "Imminent Danger" pay, or a Royal Stipend for all the work they've done for Equestria...

I won't point out what others have already told, so I'm just going to say you misspelled 'Cadance'.

wheres the rest of it?

It's amazing how many don't get what this is. My only complaint is that it's something everyone has noticed, not a unique, or otherwise unacknowledged inconsistency.

Zeg

Yep, I've noticed the same thing.

You'd think the giant crystal castle with tagged seating would have been a big clue-in for most of the oblivious ponies that seemed to be having difficulties making the connection.

Maybe saving the world isn't that big a deal in Equestria, since it seems to be necessary fairly often. Do anything often enough and it becomes normal.

You know, while it's a valid enough thing to point out, this literally does not even qualify as a story. This is an essay. At best, this should have been a blog post, not something published as a fic. Doesn't make the situation less blatantly absurd, but still.

To paraphrase Men in Black:

Ponies, for the most part, don't have a clue. Don't want one, either.

They're happy.

They think they've got a pretty good bead on things.

A pony is smart, but ponies are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals.

There's always a Lunar Nightmare...or a Chaos God, or...a swarm of erovores about to wipe out life in Equestria, and the only thing that lets ponies get on with their hopeful, happy little lives is that they don't know about it!

6666459 Maybe if Masterweaver added an actual theory as to why this was rather than just stating that it is, than it could be built upon. As it is it's just a vague rehash of the, arguably, biggest problem over all five seasons.

6667451
In all honesty, I don't think I would want to read a story based on this. It is not even a particularly deep observation. It is kind of trite, really. The saturday morning cartoon for little girls is not particularly realistic in its portrayal of fame, well duh. It's hardly even worth saying at all and we all know the reason for it it: if the characters were actually treated like the world-saving superheroes they are, it would ruin the whole tone of the show. There is nowhere interesting to go with this.

Ok, so go somewhere with this and tell a story.

6666459 Well that was blunt as shit but my friend here is correct. At best this is an intro to some kind of conspiracy theory story. Along with the ending that crashed right into my face (my bootyful face :applecry:), this doesn't really feel like a story.

6668112
When I said literal, I did mean literal, by the way. There's nothing "felt" about it. This quite simply isn't a story. A story has a plot, events, dialogue and action of some sort. Something actually happens. Even vignettes and the shortest of short stories are not completely exempt from that. This is a plot summary with the occasional "Rarity thought" jammed into it.

6667457 That's not true. There is nowhere interesting the show can take this, however as a fanfiction the reason they aren't given the recognition they deserve can be anything you want. Maybe you find out about a massive conspiracy, magical brainwash of an entire nation, secret government operations out to out to cause or prevent something you never thought Celestia capable of, maybe Nightmare Moon won what if she brainwashed them into thinking she had lost so they would fight her villains for her of her own free will. There are a lot of interesting ways the author could choose to take this story, it just so happens that right now the "story" is only a 1,000 word essay on Rarity being meta and noticing the unusual nature of children's cartoons.

6669109
Fair enough, some of that does sound like an interesting idea. I concede that point.

Although I feel a lot of the commenters are being too harsh, I do agree that this seems more like a prologue than a story. Using Rarity to discuss one of the show's biggest plot holes is a nice move, since most writers would rather use Twilight. Basically, this bit of writing seems like something that wants to go somewhere. If you take it there, I'll gladly check it out.

FYI – My headcanon has always been that Celestia intentionally keeps the populace ignorant of the Mane6 for her own bizarre reasons.

That's it? It just ends?? This isn't a story, its a prologue at best and a blog post at worst.

Though it doesn't really feel like a story,
At least it isn't boring.
It was obviously well thought out.
Though the commentators are only here pouting
And saying, this isn't a story, it does not count!
It is a story if you say so.
Even if maybe no one else seems to, people come and go.
I believe you though.
It was sweet little piece of a slice of life story in which the likes don't lie.
Your story was fantastic and you're a great story writing type o' guy!
(Assuming you're a guy. I don't know.)
Good job.

Good,
good,
good,
good,
good,
good,
good,
good,
Wait, where is the rest? This was going somewhere. (looks around for the conclusion.)

I think that Slice of Life may have solved this particular paradox or at least given us insight to why it exists. Notice how dismissively Lyra and Bonbon talk about the Six fighting a magical monster... again... and having to save Ponyville from destruction... again. I just think that Ponies just don't like calling attention to weird stuff. In a culture where a pony can be destined from adolescence for a very, very odd vocation by magical fiat, perhaps it is inevitable that they are used to ponies doing strange things and finding joy in them. It certainly would be rude to draw too much attention to these eccentric victims of weird cutie marks!

To the vast majority, it is possible that saving the world is just the Six's odd and eccentric hobby. It would be impolite to draw too much attention to it and if there is one thing ponies are good at, it is being polite and minding their own business.

6673646
Odd then, in regards to your comment on how ponies are good at "being polite and minding their own business", how humans, the creators of the show, are the exact opposite. Or maybe not so odd.

I reviewed this story!

My review can be found here.

6665455 I don't know about "confronting" their own lack of fame, but certainly some discussion wouldn't go amiss. It's something that's been mentioned in other stories in passing, one way or another, but I don't know of another story that's actually taken the lack of fame as a main premise. I agree with the other commenters; I'd love to see this continued—And honestly, I think this would work equally well as a prologue to either a comedic or dramatic examination of the topic.

I liked it. But it was odd.

6732829
Because I review almost everything I read.

6733434 This is going to sound rude as buck but what makes you qualified to do that? Its just your OP after all.

6733464
A reviewer is simply someone who does reviews. You either write reviews, or you don't. There's no real accreditation for doing reviews of fanfiction (or most anything, for that matter - and even if there was, it isn't like you could stop someone from doing them anyway).

I'm a fairly erudite and well-read individual who has spent some time studying the theory of how to properly construct a story, and I like to think I have good taste and a decent grip on what makes for a good story. Plus I've written some solid stories myself, and do well in the write-off competitions, which is evidence that I am not completely talking out of my rear.

Any given individual can choose to care about my reviews or not. You're free to read them or not read them as you see fit. They're there as a resource for folks; if you don't think I'm good at it based on my body of work, then don't read them.

6733551 So in a long winded way you said "I can not do so I criticize"? Kinda sad. But hey! If that's what you need... Wow that is really sad. Sorry I did not mean to make you feel bad about yourself again.:pinkiesad2:

What's the point? All those facts are accumulating, approaching some conclusion... That never happens.

Disappointing.

While I can see why it's a "slice of life", the ending leaves much to be desired. It almost felt very dangling similar to the way "A Touch of Evil" ended. It tries to end on a cliffhanger but winds up being a head scratcher.

Overall, it was an interesting look into a pony who "sees" the oddity of the world but doesn't really lead anywhere.

I want to see more on this idea, too.

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