Starlight Glimmer has implemented a plot to alter history, but in addition to Twilight and Spike, a hero with a time-traveling train is out to stop this at all costs. But could he be more in the right place than it seems? Has Starlight's wish already been granted?
(Alternate ending to “The Cutie Re-Mark”. Henshin One-Shot; Kamen Rider Den-O crossover.)
So why make this a one-shot? The story seems like it could be longer.
7131816
No it couldn't. There's a beginning, a middle, and an end. Everything we need is here, and nothing is missing. Adding to a story like this would simply ruin it.
By the way, great story. Not amazing, but it was nice to read a Kamen Rider story all the way through without cringing. Its not going in the feature bx, but it still a solid read.
7131816
Not really. The turning point in the middle signals the start of the primary focus arc, and so the first half works as a collection of brief scenes because it's both entertaining and doesn't overstay its welcome. Plus, this is all I thought of.
7131910
Hmmm, short it may be, but very entertaining! Moreover, this was a well written and high quality fic. So regardless of length, I give this one full marks!! Well done good sir, and I hope to see more toku-ponies or whatever you like from you later down the line!
Everything about this.
There's not a lot to say about the first half. Its nice, but nothing really happens and it relies heavily on the reder having pre-existing knowledge of Kamen Rider Den-O.
There are a number of flat descriptions here. What was especially noteworthy was how vague the Train looked and traveled, but the problem persist throughout,
The colored text was alright, but it felt distracting. Simply treating them a normal characters would have been sufficient.
I couldn't hep but feel disappointed here. I love speeches about doing the right thing and stuff.
That's more like it. Not the best Timey-Whimey hand wave, but better than most.
And a happy ending!
Momo is 100% in character here and this whole story is one entertaining crossover nice work