• Published 4th Jun 2012
  • 7,381 Views, 109 Comments

The Braggart and the Bug - PointlessGizmo



Low-ranking changeling meets overconfident unicorn. This may not end well...

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Chapter 3: A Bold New Plan

The night sky was clear over the woods where Trixie and Leech were camped. Stars sparkled, and Luna's moon shone more brightly than ever. Alas, even such a spectacular sight as this could not lift the two downtrodden spirits in the clearing below.

Trixie lay on her bed, staring up at the wooden ceiling of the wagon she and Leech had built. A torrent of thoughts swirled in her mind...

...her comeback was over before it had begun...

...she was now a known harborer of changelings, a punishable offense under interim laws...

...it would only be a matter of time before even the most outlying of towns heard about it, so she couldn't even go back to doing shows at those places...

... and the most painful thought of them all - it was mostly her fault.

Sure, Leech could have waited a little longer before changing form in public. Trixie might have come up with a solution before being flattened by a mob of angry ponies. But then she might not, and then she would have really been in trouble. And yes, Leech's choice of disguise made the crowd go against her far quicker than it should have. But really, turning a pony to stone? What a stupid idea for an act! Cockatrices turned ponies to stone, and they were almost universally despised! Even if it hadn't been the Mayor, the trick would have made her very unpopular very quickly. Trixie cursed her seeming inability to admit when an idea of hers was a bad one.

Things hadn't been much more optimistic outside. Leech had been laying in his basket looking up at the moon. He'd moved the basket slightly further away from the wagon to where he could see the sky better. He reflected upon his numerous failings, both with the swarm and with his only friend. He recalled the time he'd been asked to repair the foundation of a wall within the Queen's chamber...

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An 80/20 mixture of mud and wax was normally used for these situations - Leech of course, got the ratios back to front and built a wall with an 80% wax foundation. As soon as the sun came up the next day, the foundation immediately melted, causing half of the wall to fall onto Chrysalis herself. As one may expect, she wasn't pleased.

He remembered having to hide himself for two whole weeks after that one. Then he thought back to an unfortunate fireworks incident, shortly after he'd met Trixie...

Trixie had returned one night to their tent, having been to town to collect another batch of fireworks for her stage shows. As she took off her saddlebag, she noticed a firework was missing - it was a huge mortar-type firework that Trixie used for her grand finales. She sighed, and complained that she must have dropped it on the way back. Leech, eager to please, immediately volunteered to go and look for it. He grabbed one of the oil-burning lanterns illuminating the tent in his teeth, then charged off into the darkness to go and find it. A few minutes later, he happened upon the bowling-ball sized explosive on a pathway. He set his lantern down next to it... unfortunately, he'd put the open-flamed device just a little bit too close to the firework...

Leech didn't remember much else of that night, other than he'd woken up the next morning thirty feet up in a tree, looking down at a crater the size of a haystack in the path.

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He rolled over in his basket and let out a long sigh.

"Why Leech fail at everything Leech doezz?" he wondered sadly, "Why should Trixie even put up with Leech's conzztant bunglingzz?"

He contemplated getting up then and there and flying away, but remembered that Trixie was currently his only source of nourishment. Plus, she was the only friend Leech had ever had, and he was fond of her - even if she did treat him like horseapples at times. He wondered if Trixie would even want him around anymore, or whether she'd send him away. Either way, Leech eventually concluded that there was nothing he could do about things at the current moment, and drifted into a troubled sleep.

Trixie on the other hoof, was still wide awake. Having managed to calm the maelstrom of self-doubt in her mind somewhat, she was now dealing with another unfamiliar feeling - guilt. Trixie usually had no remorse, regardless of the situation - she didn't understand what was different this time. She couldn't help but feel that Leech was only looking out for her best interests, albeit in his own clumsy way. Trixie let out a melancholic sigh, rose to her hooves, and trotted over to the wagon door. She opened it and looked around the moonlit clearing. There was a moment of panic when she realized she couldn't see Leech anywhere, but this was soon over as her attention was drawn to a distinctive buzzing snoring. Using her horn to light the way, she quietly strode over to the sleeping changeling. Using her magic, she gently lifted the basket and Leech with it. She brought it back into the wagon and delicately set it down at the foot of her bed.

With the self-doubt under control and the guilt somewhat soothed, Trixie decided it was finally time to get some sleep herself. She climbed into bed, laid her head onto the pillow, and felt an uncomfortable lump. She sat up and batted an apple core and a paper ball out of her mane with her hoof.

"Throwing things at The Great and Powerful Trixie indeed... buck you all, Trottingham!" she murmured before drifting off into slumber.

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She was awoken some hours later, by a beam of dappled mid-morning sunshine through the wagon's window. She drowsed as the gentle warmth of the beam shone upon her face. Lazily opening an eye to check the time, she suddenly leapt to her hooves as she realized she'd slept later than she'd intended to. She had wanted to travel away from Trottingham as soon as it was light enough, in the early hours of the morning. She rubbed at her eyes groggily with a forehoof. She noticed that Leech was still asleep. Although she didn't quite understand why, she decided to let him rest for another 10 or so minutes before waking him.

"The less I have to deal with his idiocy and his annoying buzzing, the better!" she told herself, yet somehow she knew that wasn't really the reason.

Her horn glowed, and she picked up the apple core and paper ball she'd removed from her mane the night before. She threw the apple core out of the window, and was about to be equally environmentally irresponsible with the paper ball when her curiosity was piqued. She unscrunched it to see what it was - it seemed to be a flyer for some kind of upcoming event. As Trixie scanned the crumpled page, her eyes narrowed and a disturbing smile spread across her face.

"This is too perfect! Trixie can definitely make use of this occasion!" she said with a sinister grin.

Presently, Leech awoke. He stood up, and stretched his legs whilst letting out a lengthy, hearty yawn. He looked around, somewhat confused.

"Thizz doezzn't look like outzzside." he said, uncomprehendingly. "How did Leech get back in here?!"

"Outside? What are you buzzing about, bug brain?" asked Trixie, attempting to deny throwing her assistant out in a fit of temper. "You've been in here the whole time!"

"Really? Leech wazz sure Trixzzie wazz mad at Leech for ruining show, and made Leech zzleep outzzside!" said Leech, accurately remembering the previous night's events.

"Trixie says she did not throw you out, breezy-knees!" replied Trixie crossly, simultaneously feeling bad about lying to Leech and feeling good about creatively insulting his legs. "Must remember that one." she noted to herself.

She didn't want to tell Leech the real story about how he got back inside, lest he think she was going soft. Heck, she didn't want to believe it herself, never mind somepony else!

"Maybe Leech dream it." he shrugged, sounding decidedly unconvinced with himself.

"Yes, well, since you can barely comprehend whether you're awake or not, that's highly possible." Trixie said firmly.

"Trixzzie..." ventured Leech quietly, "Leech izz very zzsorry for ruining your show lazzt night and making everypony hate you. Pleazze forgive Leech!"

Trixie felt another massive pang of guilt stab at her heart as she looked at the changeling's pleading little face, a small tear appearing in the corner of his eye. Quickly taking a deep breath, swallowing the lump in her throat and discreetly wiping away a tear of her own, she regained her usual demeanor.

"Trixie forgives you... this time." she said, as firmly as she could without her voice cracking. "But be warned - do NOT let it happen again. Besides... it wasn't entirely your fault..."

Leech was surprised. "Trixie think it partly her fault too?" he enquired innocently.

"NO!" snapped Trixie. "This is the fault of Twilight Sparkle and her horrible little friends in Ponyville!"

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This revelation caused Leech to pause. Trixie had complained in depth about this Twilight Sparkle and her friends, the Elements of Harmony. Leech thought this was a silly name for a group of friends, largely due to him not understanding their true nature. He'd heard all about how Twilight and Ponyville had upstaged and humiliated Trixie, disproved her claims of power and wrecked her previous wagon, but couldn't see how they were relevant here. After a few moments of contemplation, he turned to Trixie with a quizzical look on his face.

"How izz thizz Ponyville'zz fault?" he asked.

"Do I have to explain EVERYTHING to you, Holey-Hocks and The Three Brain Cells?" scolded Trixie, again feeling a mixture of guilt and self-praise for her inventive changeling insulting skills.

"If Twilight, her ghastly little followers and that poxy town of Ponyville had just accepted Trixie's superiority, everything that has happened to me since would never have happened! I would never have had to scrape a living in the Everfree! Last night's terrible show would never have occurred! I could have been performing the Gala circuit by now! Ponyville and the ponies in it are going to pay for these humiliations!" she explained, her voice becoming increasingly maniacal with each sentence.

Leech pondered for a few moments. Trixie's bitter ranting sort-of made sense, except for the fact it didn't really. Although in all honesty he was just glad Trixie hadn't banished him. With this in mind, he immediately discarded any doubts he had about Trixie's convoluted logic.

"Szzo what are we going to do about thizz Ponyville?" he asked, attempting to sound dark and menacing, but failing miserably.

"Ah, my inarticulate invertebrate" began Trixie, moving onto alliterative insults. "We are going to attend THIS."

She held up the crumpled flyer to Leech. After a few minutes of Leech simply standing there waiting for something to happen, Trixie remembered Leech couldn't actually read. She cleared her throat, and read the flyer to him.

THIRD ANNUAL GEMSTONE FESTIVAL

ALL PONIES WELCOME TO JOIN EQUESTRIA'S ANNUAL CELEBRATION OF EQUESTRIA'S 5th MOST ABUNDANT NATURAL RESOURCE!

- RARE GEMSTONE DISPLAY!
- GEMSTONE MARKET!
- GEM-THEMED PARTY!

TAKES PLACE IN THE TOWN OF PONYVILLE, HOME OF THE FAMOUS ELEMENTS OF HARMONY!

"And it just so happens, the date on this flyer is tomorrow!" she finished smugly.

"Trixie hazz plan?" asked Leech.

"I always do." replied Trixie, grinning unsettlingly. "A plan which will ruin Ponyville's little festival, make me the wealthiest mare this side of Canterlot, drive a wedge between Twilight and her silly little Elements, and most of all make Ponyville see Trixie as the hero she is!"

Trixie cackled to herself. This plan really was perfect - but with the festival beginning tomorrow evening and Ponyville being half a day's traveling away, they would need to act fast. Once they reached Ponyville, Trixie would have to make some preparations before executing the plan, making time even more of the essence.

Leech quickly assumed the position between the wagon's limbers, and was soon harnessed up. With renewed vigor, he pulled the heavy wagon forwards, buzzing his wings to give himself some extra forward propulsion as he walked. Trixie popped her head out of the wagon's front window and called to Leech.

"Onward, my moronic minion! Soon, the Great and Powerful Trixie shall take her rightful place as the most admired equine in Equestria!"



She let out a piercing laugh which echoed throughout the woods, as the sinister duo made their way towards the small town of Ponyville.