• Member Since 10th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 5th, 2012

pegasister16


E

It's 2 years after Rainbow Dash was sent back to Ponyville. Princess Celestia wiped her memory for good... or so she thought. After a nasty accident, Rainbow Dash starts remembering her past. She finds an unoticed box in her attic. Will her friends be able to destroy the memories of her father? And will she ever see him again?

NOTE: I do not own the story 'My little Dashie'. This is a fan fic for a fan fic I guess. Please, constructive critisism again if possible. I really want to improve my stories as much as possible! :D

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 48 )

Things don't really build up until the next chapter... but still, I hope you enjoyed it! :rainbowkiss::pinkiecrazy:

Crap... I'm forced to read anything MLD against my will. I'm still sad over its ending... six months after reading it...

tl;dr reading later

oh!

Speak of the devil, I was just recently (like an hour ago) looking through all the fanfiction material based off of MLD.

I should warn you, you're walking a fine line here; continuing on the story like you are... i do wish you luck :rainbowdetermined2:

~Syn3rgy

XiF

T'would be interesting if Dashie found the guy in a box. :3

whats with all the new stories based off of MLD?? i suppose i can't complain... as the story I'm currently working on was also inspired by MLD. Rob is amazing, and good luck on writing this story if you should continue it. (incomplete?). /)
ps, thumbs up and favourited ^.^

WOW This is really good!I don't get that same thrill as I did in My Little Dashie but it's still an excellent piece of writing! There's just one thing I don't understand. Twilight had researched for 2 "pony years." :twilightblush: but just one "pony year" would be 365 "HUMAN YEARS!" :twilightoops:

I think we can all agree MLD should be properly published for all ages :scootangel:

this is how my thought process evolved over the course of reading this:

wow, this is cool! I bet that this is going to be a fantasmic story and - "Oh... Ok... if your sure-" your sure, :twilightangry2: actually, you know what? I'm going to enjoy this anyway.....I'm not even going to point out the mistake!

.....oops

Yip

So fucking sick of My Little Dashie inspired fics.

It's a good thing that flashback didn't cause Dash to become one with the ground. :applejackunsure:

i3.photobucket.com/albums/y76/unnamednewbie13/facedesk.jpg

Ok, before I say my piece, hear this: This story is decently written and I do not detract from that fact.

Alright, now that we got that out of the way, I can say my two cents. I am really tired of My Little Dashie. It was a really good story and nothing is ever going to live up to it. NOTHING. Stop trying to gain your fame off of it. It is a dick move. Second, WHY MUST YOU BRING UP THE MEMORY OF THAT MIND-RAPING STORY?! I have never been able to be happy since reading it and you have to bring it up? Dick.

Ok, alot of things poke me constantly about this story.

First, I thought the entire reason, from the original story, for Rainbow Dash not to remember about her life on Earth, was because her freinds and Celestia we're afraid that the conflicting memories would cause her to go insane, or even kill her. They just didn't want to take any chances with those possibilitys (It's like trying to make two different people share the same body almost) Right now, Rainbow Dash should be getting something like a migrain with two more voices in her head since she knows everything now.

Second, why would the rest of her freinds risk leaving a box of clear reminders of her second life in her own home? How did it even get there?! (This box, what is up with it DX. Get it! What is UP with it? You know, it was in the attic and a cloud house? ... Aw your no fun)

Third, Celestia moods and views on this situation are extreamly almost random. It's hard to go into detail since I don't know where to start. She's all for locking her up, (Actually with the impending insanity, maybe that's a good idea...) but after one line of anger from maybe-insane Dash, Celestia suddenly remembers Dash is the element of loyalty, and is all for setting up a teleportation to the very place she wants Equestria to have NO connections with. (Hypocritic much Celestia? :trollestia:)

Fourth, Rarity could've been replaced by a generic pony (I recommend Bon-Bon!) from all the purpose she served in this story.

Fifth, with Spike burning the note from Celestia... how did he do it? He couldn't have used hisfire breath, that would've just sent it back to Celestia...

Ok, now I'm getting nitpicky. But I really mean reason one and two! And three! Also Four and Five!

Man you made me cry many tear is so sad why this is the saddest ending ever :raritydespair::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::raritydespair:

There is already a very good sequel to My Little Dashie, so why did you even write this? :rainbowhuh:

good good... but very heart breakingall the smae :pinkiegasp:

749919
Have you ever seen a dragon sneeze?

Really?! Another MLD sequel?! I would love to rant on about why I dislike them so much, but... i.imgur.com/hYb7n.gif

Seriously, we DON'T need more MLD sequels.

749859 I'm not trying to live up to it. It's a fan fic based on it because I think it's a good story. I don't know if I put it in the description. BUT I AM NOT TRYING TO GET FAMOUS OFF IT. I know it's nowhere near as good as mld. :twilightoops:

752001 Ok, I know this isn't for everyone. If you dislike it, I guess that's OK. :ajbemused: Also, I like the Dr. Cox.

750770 to show my like for the fan fic. I know this is absolutely crap :trollestia:

749434 Ok... so you read a MLD fic because? :unsuresweetie:

751918 Um... no... but I don't see what that has to do with my rant besides my fifth thing, and wouldn't that still result in "send back to sender" fire? :rainbowhuh: His hiccups do.

>>pegasister16 hey Im sorry, I shouldn't have been so mean, just write whatever your heart desires. Who knows, you could end up writing a fic that could be as good as my little dashie!:twilightsmile:

We're going to see the Tyrant side of a certain character, aren't we?
Random Fact of the Day:
The Latin (scientific) names for our planet, moon, and sun are...
Earth=Terra
The Moon=Luna (Yes, really)
The Sun=Sol

749919 And Six, which is the problem I have with ALL of these stories:
"A single tear ran down her left cheek, as I could see her eyes moving under her lids. Her mind was doing the same thing mine was, forcing our fondest memories all at once, for this would be the last time we ever saw one another."
Bam. Right from the story, near the end. No sequels, no fanon, not a spot of hope. They never saw each other again. Not once. Nope. Zip. Zero. Nothing.
...
Despite this, I didn't cry once during the story, nor did I cringe once during Cupcakes. In fact, the latter made me a fan of the show again. Seriously. Yes, I do have a screwed-up mind. No, I don't know why. Any suggestions that may spark some emotion?

748767 Not a single tear...
*rereads*
Nope, nothing. Same reaction from Cupcakes, as I commented in more detail last chapter.
752001 I believe I gave the canon-shattering reason why in the comments last chapter, and someone else gave five other reasons.

755885 Thanks, and that's ok :rainbowkiss: This is only my 2nd fic, but I'm starting on another more original idea that might be a bit better. :pinkiesmile:

" She follwed hoofprints to the door of an unusual room. Fluttershy grew afraid. Whatever was inside was going to be unpleasant. She gulped and opened the attic door. It creaked open and..."
t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQCHMUyBbSKbMMck0np2RNpfWIJjTBxquOACLsxfrkVkQ45rXF4

Also: Then is a comparison of time. Than is a comparison between things not involving time.

756230
i.imgur.com/cCkT3.gif

I didn't see that line in MLD until you pointed it out. If I would have seen that sooner... So many wasted hours of MLD sequels...

Another thing: I realized you said they would be going back to see Rainbow's daddy after two years of being back in Equestria. Apparently in MLD, one day in Equestria is one year on Earth.

2 Equine-years x 365 Days per year = 730 Human-years :applejackunsure: HE'S IMMORTAL!

760506 I did make a note at the end saying how inaccurate it was. I'm no good with accuracy. :pinkiecrazy:

748845 That would've been a way better idea :twilightsheepish:

748870 Thanks!! Oh and I forgot to change it, it now says complete. :yay:

748900 I noted that at the end. It's horribly inaccruate :applejackunsure:

760506 I'm glad I saved you some time in the future... I've pointed that out before, but nobody ever noticed my comment. Also, this is the first time someone used that clapping animation in response to something I did. Thanks, I guess...

760506 They efficientized the spell?

And the tension builds



random disclaimer, fish can't blink

This was really good. I would've liked to see more of them together, or at least after it was over, but this was really good... even if there were quite a few typos.

I don't see why everypony has such a problem with MLD, it's better than just a plain old HiE fic. Go turn your hate on trolls or something if you have a problem with this story :ajbemused: seriously. Pegasister here didn't write all of the MLD fics, so don't use their story to rant about how many there are, use a forum or something.

768042 Thankyou! And yeah, I need to proof read better :twilightblush: But thankyou for your support :pinkiehappy:

773117 no prob. It bugs the crap outta me when I see people commenting like that on everything: HiE fics, MLD fics, grimdarks, they do it every where :twilightangry2:


What you could do is just get a pre-reader. I've found that regardless of how good you are of an editor, there's always somepony who catches stuff you never would. Like I edit for people, but I still use a beta reader when I write.

There's lots of people on this site and others who would be glad to edit, especially for good stories like this.

:raritydespair::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry: so sad in a good way:fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry:

773229 Thanks, and I'll look into that!! :rainbowkiss:

A wub face :rainbowkiss:, 5 love hearts :heart::heart::heart::heart::heart: and 10 Spikes for you :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

835002 Why thankyou!! Have some big Mac, Big Mac! :eeyup::heart:

This is fairly good. It's too bad you messed up the ending, though. Dashie's visit to the human world seemed overly rushed, too. I know they were on a time crunch; you said ten minutes, but what you described would have lasted a little over one minute.

In addition, Celestia is out of character. She's not that hotheaded, and it seemed like she gave in to Dash's request a little too easily. In fact, even the other characters noted in the story how OOC she was. I don't think it's that big of a deal in this case, though.

This story would have never went this way. I mean the story was greatexcept for the rushed ending, but I mean the characters. Twilight wouldn't keep that a secret from Dash for safety of Equestria. They dont know what could happen if a human were to come and well that's the joy of it; NOT knowing.

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