Equestria is a paragon of civilization, a beacon of peace and prosperity. But there is a world beyond Equestria's borders, a world of harsh realities, where every day is a struggle just to get by.
Survivor's Gorge is a wild mountain valley, far from Equestria. There is no luxury there. No leisure. All these ponies have is each other, and nothing will tear them apart. Rough living breeds tough ponies, as wild animals, frightening mythical beings, evil demi-gods, and the very planet itself will have to learn the hard way.
Note: I'd like to thank the pony-loving population of the Unifaction forum for allowing me to design ponysonas for them, and for letting me use those ponysonas in this story. You guys are the greatest.
Chapters (5)
Please, please get a cover image for this. I know it's petty, but you need a picture in order to garner an audience. People tend the glaze over stories that don't have a cover image, and it would be a crime to have your prose ignored.
You're writing is well done, and I didn't see any glaring mistakes.
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I'm working on a cover image, but I'm not nearly as good an artist as I am a writer, so it's slow going. ^^;
I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter, though- thank you for your readership.
Agreed with GingerNutGin. Grammatically sound and the reader is instantly hit with a "harsher world" feel. Should be interesting to read as more updates appear. I kinda like it so far.
If I may make a few suggestions: finishing a chapter with a cliffhanger would give the reader a sense of curiosity to come back to the story. Maybe I missed it, but I didn't find one here. Also, take some time to flesh out the world. Describe the surroundings, is it a frozen waste or a scorching desert? Detail what the buildings/dwellings of the compound look like? The gates: are they a "piled on mishmash of everything but the kitchen sink" as Hoity Toity would put it or are they solid and tough looking? How does the world look in your mind and describe the various sensations. I know it may slow down the pace of the story but it helps the reader form a better image of the story in their minds.
Hope I'm not being a jerk because of this
, just some friendly suggestions. Either way have fun!
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Don't worry- I don't mind constructive criticism at all. You probably won't see many cliffhangers from me, though- they make me
. Can't stand them, especially on stories with more than a day between updates. ^^;
I will definitely taake your suggestions under advisement. Thank you for your input; it's very much appreciated.
Good second chapter Withoutwords.
Holy Gilda Batmane!
I give you's..... a Great Big Resounding
May you're future be filled with manymuch good writing.
Since no one else has yet too, once again.....
WOO!!!
Loved it.
Just wished I had checked on the day it was released because it would have been an excellent birthday present.
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Aw, happy belated birthday! Glad to see you're still reading and enjoying.
>>Withoutwords
Thanks. I was worried that you were going to stop updating this. I'm also now curious as to how exactly Scars is Biels step father.
Edit: I still haven't figured out how the quote system works on this site. lol.
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Look to the top right of the comment you want to respond to- there should be a little button with two speech bubbles on it. Click that, and the site will do the rest.
As for the true nature of Biel's relationship with Scars, you'll just have to wait and see.
“I gave Tornado and Red Dawn mercy. The rest will live."
That line in the opening paragraph gave me chills, I can see big things in this already, onto the next chapter!
From the description alone I'm hooked! I love it when harsher realities of the world are explored!
You get an instant like, fav, track, and follow from me.