Chapter 2 - Reunions and the coming of War
“We're here!” Discord exclaimed as he and Twilight Sparkle appeared in Celestia's garden within the castle walls. The two had left Ponyville via teleportation and had arrived in Canterlot.
“Better hide myself.” Twilight used her magic to make a hood and cloak form around her body hiding herself. “Don't want any spies for Blueblood's allies knowing I'm alive.” she said as she and Discord headed inside toward the throne room. “Still can't believe everypony bought what Amadeus was selling, after all me and my friends did to save Equestria so many times, bringing Princess Luna back from being corrupted as Nightmare Moon, stopping you back when you were evil Discord.” Twilight continued as she looked over at Discord seeing him wince. “No offense of course.” she said.
“Oh, none taken. Besides I always wanted somebody who can rival my chaotic nature and you were the best. Believe me it hurt me more to hear of your “demise” than it did your friends.” Discord responded.
“Anyhow, we even helped the Crystal Empire banish King Sombra and we even helped Princess Cadence unmask Queen Chrysalis and save my brother Shining Armor. Even after we stopped Tirek and Starlight Glimmer they still saw me as a threat..” Twilight let out a frustrated sigh.
“Well you can't expect everypony to respect you my dear. Mostly the Bluebloods and the snobs they were in cahoots with.” Discord told Twilight.
“Yeah, right now we need to get to the throne room and hope the Princesses are there.” Twilight continued on as she and Discord arrived at the throne room entrance, they could overhear a conversation going on.
“Your highness, we've searched several possible hideouts and no sign of those cowards. We'll double our efforts to recover Princess Twilight's body.” the solar guard saluted and took his leave.
“I hope and pray to Faust they recover my student's body.” Princess Celestia let out a frustrated sigh.
“They will sister, we mustn't lose hope.” Princess Luna focused on her sister as Gladius Stride entered the throne room passing by Discord and the disguised Twilight without even noticing them both.
“Princess Celestia how are you holding up?” Gladius asked as he showed concern toward Princess Celestia.
“Not good unfortunately. Twilight's body is out there and in the hooves of those blasted traitors.. if they harm or defile her body in anyway...” Celestia trembled with rage. “Faust help their treacherous souls.” she coldly warned.
“Ooh, is that rage I detect Sun butt?” Came Discord's voice as the Draconequus appeared beside Celestia's throne, the sun princess shot a glare at Discord.
“Discord, I'm not in the mood for your tricks right now.” Celestia glared at Discord.
“I couldn't help but overhear your prized student's grave was desecrated, or is that the rumor going on these days?” Discord asked, he smirked seeing Celestia tremble with rage. “Easy now Princess, we don't need you dropping dead from a heart attack or a stroke.” Discord warned the angered Princess.
“DISCORD YOU SPEAK OF TWILIGHT'S GRAVE BEING DESECRATED AGAIN AND SO HELP ME I'LL SEAL YOU AWAY FOR GOOD!!” Celestia shouted with the royal voice.
“Tia, please calm yourself.” Princess Luna went over to her sister trying to calm her down.
“Celestia please, did you even bother to examine the coffin lid?” Discord asked Princess Celestia. “Cause if you didn't then you would have missed it.” he explained to the princess.
“Missed what??” Celestia asked still glaring at Discord.
“I think I'll let my guest here explain what happened to Twilight Sparkle's grave.” Discord motioned for Twilight to approach, the alicorn was still in her hood as Gladius Stride approached her.
“And just whom might you be?” Gladius asked the hooded figure.
“Gladius it's been a long time, I remember when you and Gallant Heart used to hang out with my brother Shining armor.” Twilight responded, Gladius's eyes went wide hearing a voice he had thought was silenced by his brother and his terrorist allies.
“That voice.... Tia is it possible??” Princess Luna was frozen in shock when she heard the hooded mare's voice. Celestia trembled as her eyes watered as she approached the hooded figure.
“Twilight??” Princess Celestia asked, her voice was choked up as she fought back tears.
“It's me Princess Celestia.” Twilight removed her hood revealing herself. “I'm back.” she told her mentor, Princess Celestia felt her legs buckle before she hugged her student and wailed loudly as tears streamed down her face. Gladius was still frozen in shock, Princess Luna wiped tears from her own eyes.
“It's a miracle from Queen Faust herself.” Princess Luna said. Discord had a wide grin on his face.
“Oh my beloved Twilight, but how?? how is this possible?? I saw you dead, I tried to heal you but I saw the blood gushing from your wounds. How did you survive??” Princess Celestia released Twilight as she wiped her eyes.
“I can't explain it fully but somehow I was in a state of hibernation. To everypony else I was dead.” Twilight Sparkle explained.
“Tia, you used a healing spell?” Luna asked Celestia whom nodded.
“I did, the strongest I could muster.” Celestia responded.
“Of course, now I think I understand why it took so long for me to fully heal and come out of my hibernation. It had to be the Orichalcum those traitors used on me.” Twilight explained.
“Orichalcum?!” Both princesses said at the same time.
“Yes, I've done some alchemy experiments on Orichalcum, it has properties to null magic but it seemed your healing spell must have remained inside my body. I suspect the magic properties of the orichalcum tried to null the heal spell Princess Celestia cast on me, though I believe the power Princess Celestia poured into the spell eventually overpowered the orichalcum's effects but it took along time. I still can't believe Blueblood got his filthy hooves on Orichalcum to have me killed.” Twilight explained.
“It makes perfect sense to me. But where did he get the Orichalcum from?” Princess Celestia asked, somehow the answer would be just as shocking.
“They stole it from the Pie Family's rock farm. Pinkie and her family can confirm it.” Twilight answered.
“I had a feeling that was why Blueblood was interested in the Pie Family's rock stand at the rock festival.” Princess Celestia recalled the festival and the rock samples the Pie family had shown off. “I had no clue they had orichalcum as one of their samples.” she said as she turned to Princess Luna.
“And they knew how to gain the weapon they needed to assault Twilight, the Pie family aren't responsible for what Blueblood did, besides Blueblood and his ilk paid for their sins when they were burned at the stake.” Princess Luna told her sister.
“Princess Twilight?” Gladius approached Twilight as he bowed to her. “I'm sorry I couldn't stop my brother.” he told Twilight. “I'm glad he failed.” he said.
“Gladius, your brother didn't want to do it. I can tell from the sad look on his face.” Twilight told Gladius.
“Gallant Heart showing sorrow? He hardly showed it at the trial.” Princess Celestia spoke up. Princess Luna let out a sigh.
“Twilight, Tia, I....I have a confession to make.” Princess Luna lowered her head.
“Luna?” Princess Celestia turned to her sister.
“I knew what was about to happen, I should have acted when I had the chance.” Princess Luna said. Twilight, Gladius, Celestia, even Discord were shocked to hear this. “But if I did it would have endangered Gallant Heart's mission.” Luna explained.
“What mission?? What are you talking about??” Gladius asked Luna.
“Gallant was working for me by going undercover to infiltrate Blueblood's group. Tia, I knew something had to be done about those blasted nobles and I knew you wouldn't approve of my methods either.” Princess Luna felt like banishing herself to the moon.
“Luna, sister.” Celestia went over to Luna seeing the tears in her eyes. “I know what you wanted to do and I cannot blame you. I too grew sick of those nobles and their thirst for power but I never imagined they would try to harm Twilight.” Celestia went to the window as she could see the sun as it was in the sky.
“Princess Luna no pony is mad at you, they must have found out about Gallant Heart working for you. It could explain why he was so full of regret.” Twilight approached the night princess.
“Very wise words Twilight. But it does sound like they forced his hooves.” Discord added in as he looked over at Celestia.
“Only Gallant Heart knew that and he's gone, I heard he was executed along with Blueblood.” Twilight sighed a bit.
“Twilight what will you do now?” Gladius asked Twilight.
“Princess Celestia, can you summon my brother Shining Armor and Princess Cadence?” Twilight asked Princess Celestia whom nodded. She soon sent a messenger to the Crystal Empire to summon Shining Armor and Princess Cadence. The two had been informed of Twilight's grave being broken into, Shining Armor threatened war with everypony involved with Blueblood's conspiracy though many had fled Equestria and many more were either arrested or killed. The messenger soon arrived with a message from Princess Celestia.
“Shining what is it?” Princess Cadence asked her husband. She approached her husband as he read the note.
“Seems your aunt Celestia wants us to go to Canterlot, it's urgent.” Shining Armor told his wife, the two soon headed off to Canterlot. Once in the station they were met by Gladius Stride whom nodded to the royal family as he escorted them toward the castle. “Gladius, what's this about? Did they find the bastards that defiled Twiley's grave?” Shining Armor asked Gladius.
“It's more than that.” Gladius responded as the trio entered the castle. Gladius led them into the throne room where Princess Luna and Princess Celestia were waiting at.
“Aunt Luna, Aunt Celestia, is there a problem?” Princess Cadence addressed her aunts.
“We have a shocking revelation about Twilight.” Princess Celestia answered.
“You found her body??” Shining Armor asked. “I hope so, it'll settle mom down after hearing about Twi's grave being robbed.” he said.
“It's more than that BBBFF.” Came Twilight's voice as she stepped out from behind Princess Celestia's throne.
“T-T-Twiley!?” Shining Armor stood in shock, Princess Cadence stared before she suddenly fainted, luckily for her Shining caught her with his magic and set her down carefully. “But how??” he asked as tears ran down his face.
“Princess Celestia, her cure spell healed my body yet it took a long time before I was healed enough to awaken. A side effect of being stabbed and having my throat slit with Orichalcum.” Twilight told her brother before Shining hugged her.
“Twiley, thank Faust your alive.” Shining Armor told his sister. Cadence began to awaken as she looked to her husband.
“Shining? Am I hallucinating?” Cadence asked her husband
“Nope Cadence, your not.” Twilight answered her sister in law as Cadence stood up looking at Twilight.
“But we saw you dead. How can I be sure your real?” Cadence asked Twilight.
“This might convince you.” Twilight responded “Sunshine, sunshine, lady bugs awake.” Twilight began, it was her greeting she always gave her sister in law back when she was her foal sitter. Cadence gasped, tears ran down her face hearing the greeting.
“C-clap your h-hooves, and do a little shake..... Twilight it is you!” Cadence hugged her sister in law as she cried.
“We need to tell mom and dad, and Twinklestar.” Shining wiped the tears from his eyes as he watched his wife hug his sister.
“Yeah we... wait, who's Twinklestar?” Twilight asked.
“Oh, that's right. Twinklestar is our sister.” Shining armor told Twilight, this shocked the younger Alicorn to hear this.
“We have a sister??” Twilight asked out of amazement.
“Yeah, she has my fur color but your mane colors. Mom's been very protective of her not even allowing Princess Celestia near her.” Shining Armor told Twilight.
“I could understand why, she didn't want her being targeted like I was. I'd like to meet her.” Twilight told Shining Armor whom nods as Twilight turned to Princess Celestia. “I'll be back soon Princess. I need to see my parents and sister.” she told Princess Celestia whom nods. Soon Twilight and Shining Armor headed toward their childhood home, Twilight again wearing her hood to keep her presence a mystery. “Shining, I still can't think of why every pony would listen to a monster like Amadeus Blueblood and reject what I've said. After all my friends and I did to help Equestria time and time again against the likes of Nightmare Moon, Discord, Queen Chrysalis, King Sombra, Tirek, even Starlight Glimmer. Even after we purified Princess Luna, reformed Discord, Sunset Shimmer, and Starlight Glimmer they still don't trust us. Worse was the feeling of betrayal from Gallant Heart.” Twilight lowered her head.
“Twiley, not all of Equestria are hypocrites like Amadeus and the nobles. But I swear I'll see Amadeus hanged for what he had his goons do to you.” Shining Armor told Twilight. “Gallant didn't want to do it but they held his brother's life over his head.” Shining Armor told Twilight.
“What?!” Twilight snapped to attention as she looked at her brother. “Why didn't you tell Princess Celestia or Princess Luna??” she asked.
“He was undercover, if I had told them then his cover would have been blown.” Shining Armor responded. “Besides he told me when I talked to him before he was executed.” Shining told Twilight as the two came to a stop, ironically outside Donut joe's place.
“Obviously his cover was blown if they had Gladius and forced Gallant to attack me.” Twilight said to her brother. “Right now I want to focus on meeting my sister and seeing mom and dad. Then we need to work to stop the Civil War before it can start.” the alicorn said with determination.
“i couldn't agree more Twiley. I understand he wanted to protect his little brother like I would do for both you and Twinklestar.” Shining Armor told Twilight whom nodded.
“I understand too, I wish he could have conveyed that message to me before he slit my throat. What about Flash Sentry? How did he take my “passing”? Twilight asked, she remembered the guard who had a crush on her.
“Twi, he took it hard. So hard he.. he took his own life trying to follow you.” Shining Armor told Twilight, the princess couldn't believe it.
“I knew he loved me.... I didn't think he'd...” Twilight lowered her head, she remembered meeting Flash after her adventure in the human world and meeting Flash's human counterpart, she had developed a crush on Flash's human counterpart then focused it more on his pony counterpart. “I never got to tell him how I felt about him...” Twilight felt tears run down her face as Shining Armor hugged her.
“I know, this is more blood on the nobles' hooves and I'll be more than happy to see them suffer for everything they've done to you and our family.” Shining Armor told Twilight whom looked up at her brother.
“Shining Armor, I... I didn't want this much violence to happen to everypony.. Was I wrong to force such changes on everypony??” Twilight began to have doubts.
“No Twiley, it wasn't your fault those idiots didn't want to accept change. All I've heard from those two-faced traitors was nothing short of hatred and rage. Made me wish Amadeus would have done something for me to go after him.” Shining Armor tried to comfort Twilight though he felt helpless to stop Amadeus Blueblood and his conspirators.
“I know, I never imagined his son Prince Blueblood would beat him to it, by trying to have me assassinated.” Twilight told her brother.
“No, I got reason to suspect Amadeus. Gallant himself told me a lot more than I've told you.” Shining Armor responded before he looked around to make sure no pony was listening to them. He then noticed they were at Donut Joe's and suddenly had an idea. “Inside, we won't be noticed.” he told Twilight as they entered the shop. Once inside they made their way to a private booth. Donut Joe noticed the two and went to see if they wanted something.
“Ah Prince Shining Armor, and a guest. I surely hope your not going behind Princess Cadence's back.” Donut Joe said as he looked at the disguised Twilight.
“Relax Joe, and can you keep a secret?” Shining Armor asked.
“Sure.” Joe answered.
“My sister's body wasn't robbed like it's been reported. She's sitting across from me.” Shining Armor said in a hush tone. Joe's eyes widened as he looked at Twilight whom nodded.
“It's all true. Just don't go telling all of Equestria, I don't want to be assassinated again.” Twilight told Joe.
“Oh sweet Faust! Princess Twilight! If Equestria needed you, now is that time.” Joe said in a hushed voice as he quickly went to prepare Twilight's favorite donuts.
“So BBBFF, what was it you wanted to tell me?” Twilight asked Shining Armor.
“Blueblood only had you assassinated cause he was pushed into doing it. Gallant told me a lot of things. He told me who the mastermind of this whole conspiracy was.” Shining Armor began as he let out a sigh.
“Who was it?” Twilight asked. She had to know if her hunch was right all along.
“Amadeus, he was the one who commissioned your death. Gallant told me that Amadeus and his crooked guards were in his home.” Shining told Twilight, he could see his sister's eyes widen hearing that name.
“I knew it! I knew Amadeus hated me, but I never suspected he'd hate me enough to kill me. That means Prince Blueblood was a patsy.” Twilight growled as her horn lit up.
“So was Gallant, they told him to kill you or Gladius would die instead. He had no choice in the matter. Didn't help Blueblood was doubting his actions which I believe Amadeus wanted things to happen quickly, he even knew Gallant was a double agent and told him to hurry Blueblood's plot. The bastard knew Gallant was working for Luna but the question was how did he know?” Shining Armor said, his words left for more questions than answers.
“To think that scumbag Amadeus compared me to Queen Chrysalis, he's proven to me how much he compares to her. No pony can be as cruel as her and yet Amadeus proved that to me.” Twilight said as she looked at her brother. “Does Gladius know the whole truth?” Twilight asked.
“No, I doubt he even knew his own life was in danger.” Shining Armor answered his sister's question.
“He knows part of it, Princess Luna confessed about her own plan to undermine the nobles to Princess Celestia after I returned, she told Gladius that Gallant was working for her.” Twilight told Shining Armor, this both surprised him and shocked him.
“Did Princess Celestia do anything?” Shining Armor asked.
“No, though she had to calm Luna down, she felt so guilty of holding that secret back and when she saw me alive it came out.” Twilight answered her brother. “What worries me is if my return got out and how many of those traitors would try to kill me just to show up Amadeus, to let him see his plot failed.” Twilight sighed.
“That won't happen Twiley, I failed to protect you once, I swear this time I won't fail.” Shining Armor told his sister. “The nobles will have to face the entire army of the Crystal Empire to get to you if that's what it takes.” he vowed.
“I know, right now we need to get home and see our sister. And let mom and dad know I'm back.” Twilight told her brother as he nodded. The two soon left Donut Joe's after eating some donuts and eventually they headed to their childhood home. Shining Armor knocked on the door as he and Twilight waited. The door opened as Twilight Velvet opened the door, she smiled seeing her son as she hugged him.
“Hey mom, we need to talk, is dad here?” Shining Armor asked as he could see Nightlight approach him. “Something important came up.” Shining began.
“Is it Twilight? Did they find her body??” Twilight Velvet asked before she noticed the hooded mare. “Who's this?” She asked.
“You'll see, get Twinkle down here, she might want to see this.” Shining Armor told his mother as she nods and went upstairs, she soon returned with a young mare whom was smaller but as smart as Twilight was at her age, her fur was a baby blue color almost white like her brother's but her mane and tail were colored like Twilight Sparkle's own mane and tail even having the same stripe on it. She also bore an interesting cutie mark, a star like the Sparkle family six pointed lavender star only her's has smaller stars around it.
“hey BBBFF!” Twinklestar said to her big brother, this made Twilight smile beneath her hood.
“Okay everypony's here now son, what's the news on Twilight? Did they get her body back?” Nightlight asked.
“Even better dad.” Shining began as he looked at Twilight Sparkle as she took her hood off.
“I'm back mom, dad.” Twilight Sparkle said to her parents, Nightlight's eyes widened as he felt tears form in his eyes, Twilight Velvet fainted on the spot seeing her daughter alive. Twinklestar looked confused seeing Twilight before looking at her sister's picture with flowers around it as a memorium then back at the mare before her.
“Twilight?? It... it can't be! We saw you in the morgue, we saw you in that casket, how?? how in Faust's name??” Nightlight couldn't even think straight before he hugged Twilight. The tears streamed down his face as he did so, Twilight Velvet awoke as Shining Armor helped her up.
“you okay mom?” Shining Armor asked.
“Y..yes, I swore I just saw.....” Twilight Velvet stopped in her words as she saw Twilight Sparkle hugging her dad. “My baby! My baby filly! Faust brought her back to us!” she wailed as she hugged Twilight as well.
“Is she really my big sister??” Twinklestar asked confused.
“I'm glad to see you too mom, dad, ugh... need air.” Twilight gasped as she was hugged by both her parents before they let her go.
“Oh, sorry Twilight, it's just we thought you were dead. It seems Faust saw a grave injustice was done and brought you home to us.” Nightlight apologized as Twilight Velvet nodded too.
“Princess Celestia helped as well, when she found me she used her strongest healing spell to save my life though it took a lot longer to fully heal me due to the orichalcum that was used on me.” Twilight Sparkle explained to her family what had happened as best as she could explain, about the Bluebloods and their conspiracy to eliminate her.
“Those rotten bastards! I'm glad Blueblood burned at the stake though I hope his rotting soul burns in Tartarus for all eternity.” Nightlight said with a growl.
“Even though his dad was the true mastermind, but any evidence linking him is either dead or destroyed. If only we could have gotten him when we had the chance.” Shining Armor said.
“Amadeus will have his reckoning one day.” Twilight Sparkle told her brother before looking at her younger sister. Something about her was interesting Twilight. “Twinkle, how strong is your magic?” Twilight asked her sister.
“Well...I...I kinda can't do much except some basic things. Why do you ask?” Twinklestar asked her sister.
“You mean you haven't trained in magic?” Twilight Sparkle asked.
“No! I absolutely forbid it!” Twilight Velvet's voice echoed out. “I'm sorry Twilight honey but I was worried about your sister going through what you went through, I even told Celestia not to interact with Twinklestar.” the elder mare told Twilight Sparkle.
“Mom, I know you don't want that tragedy to happen again to either of us but Twinkle, her magic I can feel it. It's very strong.” Twilight told her mom.
“She's right mom, I can feel it too.” Shining Armor agreed.
“Does this mean I can become a princess too like Twilight?” Twinklestar asked her brother and parents.
“I'm not sure, it's possible. I mean Twiley was that powerful and ascended to Alicorn status when she fixed her friends' cutiemarks and figured out one of Starswirl's spells.” Shining Armor told Twinklestar of the time Twilight literally evolved into an Alicorn after helping her friends when their cutiemarks got swapped around after misfiring Starswirl the Bearded's spell. Little did anypony know how much distain the Blueblood family would ring up including the conspiracy to kill Twilight.
“Velvet honey, we got a second chance with our elder daughter, we can't waste it either, besides those devils will regret they day they tried to murder her.” Nightlight told his wife.
“Dad, I know I got my hooves full. Spike is out there somewhere alone and I want to find him and tell him I'm alive.” Twilight Sparkle said to her dad whom nodded.
“I can remember how surprised we were when you adopted him as your son. I'm sure he's fine and he'll be happy to see you.” Twilight Velvet added in.
“Mom, I wanna learn magic like my big sister Twilight knows.” Twinklestar spoke up, Twilight Velvet gasped as she heard her youngest daughter speak up.
“Twinkle, I don't want those monsters trying to harm you like they almost did to Twilight.” Twilight Velvet began before Twilight approached her mom.
“Mom, I can teach her and you won't have to worry. As of now the nobles don't know I survived the assassination attempt and I'm keeping it that way till we can stop their plan for war.” Twilight told her mother.
“I'll see to it they are safe.” Shining Armor spoke up.
“Then let's..” Twilight started to speak before the ground suddenly shook. “What was that?” She asked.
“Felt like a tremor.” Nightlight said. Shining Armor rushed to the window and looked outside, what he saw made his eyes widen. Unicorns hovering in the sky armed to the teeth launching magic blasts into Canterlot sending debris everywhere and sending panicked ponies fleeing.
“Damn! It's already beginning!” Shining Armor shouted, Twilight Velvet gasped as her hooves shot to her mouth.
“We got to get to the caste and fast.” Twilight Sparkle said as she looked at her parents and sister. “Gather everything we'll need. I'll teleport us there.” She said as her parents and sister gathered essential things in their saddlebags as they gathered together as Twilight's horn glowed as they were warped via a teleportation spell to Canterlot Castle, they arrived in the throne room as Princess Celestia was waiting with Princess Cadence, Princess Luna went to assist with those injured and in need.
“Shining!” Cadence rushed to her husband's side as she hugged him.
“Princess, is this what I think it is?” Twilight asked.
“It is my dear student, those blasted traitors revealed their hand.” Princess Celestia said grimly. “Though I never imagined they would resurrect Unicornia to bare arms against us.” She said.
“If it's a war Amadeus want's, it's a war he'll get!” Shining Armor said determined. He knew he and Cadence had to return to the Crystal Empire to ready their army to attack the armies sent by Unicornia.
“Amadeus??” Princess Celestia asked.
“I can explain later Princess, right now we need to stop the invaders. I hope my friends are okay in Ponyville.” Twilight said worried.
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6757440 It's up now.
Nok a weapom for twilight a giant Magiacal halbardi and she also knows how to use cause of training
6815651
When are you going to start working on the 3rd chapter?
6992773
it's in the works, it should be done soon
7000698
This video will be played in Chapters 3 and 4.
i love how it is so far
7012135
the original story took place before s5 and the castle was never mentioned makes sense it wouldnt be in this one
7219554
Twilight did mentioned that she and her friends did reformed Starlight Glimmer, in which takes place after season 5. So, I'm sure this story took place after season 4 and 5.
I do want to continue reading this "what if" story, but it seems like everything is moving fast, and it should be worked on better.
I am no beta-reader or editor, but I can tell by just the two chapters that you would benefit greatly from one.
Perhaps contacting the original author of the assassin verse for suggestions?
Stop mentioning God (Faust) so Damn MUCH, to start off.
Now that's said,...
I personally am on the side of the nobles. I personally wish them to win, to overthrow and kill the princesses. Thus, by not only making them lose, but also making them seem so BAD, without actual reasoning, and not seeing their point of view at ALL, you lost any and all interest on my part.
So I will live this work alone to the point I've reached, chapter 2 (if things change afterwards, I'll be more than happy to take it back), and imagine a great victory for Blue blood and his allies.
As for the actual content, by which I mean grammar, vocabulary,... As stated before, you use the name of Faust waaaaaaaaaay too much for an atheist such as me to feel comfortable, but I think it's just because of the public you want to reach, or because of your education, that has undoubtedly been surrounded with religion.
The grammar is mostly respected, the words you use perfectly correct. You might be repeating yourself a tad too much when it comes to key words, such as names (Orichalcum for instance), but overall I have nothing much to say about your writing.
So as a written piece, your fic would receive a 8/10, but as a story I can only give you a 4.5/10, which gives a total of 6.75/10 for the fic as it is.
(Note that my opinion on the plot could not be objective in any way, and that the distaste is quite a lot motivated by my natural inclination towards the bad guys, as well as my particular liking of the idea of the fall of the diarchy in Equestria. So you can count the points on the story as a point of view purely, because well,... it's exactly that.)
So without further ado, I wish you a great day, and a good luck with this fiction and any future writing you may do in the future.