Lily Longsocks, like most foals dreamed about being a super hero like Mare Do Well. The other foals though, forgot about her once she disappeared but Lily never did. After getting her super strength she dared to dream this again. She never really believed that it would really come true but one day after putting on her Nightmare Night Mare Do Well costume to play she gets the chance. Lily takes that chance and saves Ponyville from villains but things eventually go terribly wrong. What follows for Ponyville is beyond what any of the would have ever believed.
Sequel to How Lily got her "creepy super strength
Chapters (13)
thezombienation.com/blogpicts/evil-milk.jpg
I knew the milk was evil
6641409 It's very evil. The "I always forget the milk" was a reference that I put in there to see if anyone would get it.
Nice start, I'm waiting for more.
You do need a proof reader (no one is ever good at proofing their own copy, God knows I'm not). Also, are you sure you want to spell her name "Lilly"? This works as a proper name, mostly as a last name, but the flower is spelled "Lily" and that's where a pony name most likely comes from.
This is my headcanon now...
Another Mare-Do-Well who gets her start on Nightmare Night, eh?
6642879 I'm glad that everyone likes it. Is it really that good?
Do you know any good proofreaders?
I didn't notice that it was only one l. Oops. I'll go back through and correct it in both stories when I'm done.
6643107 I am honored.
6645263 It's not Nightmare Night at the current time in the story. She's just playing but how many are there?
6647761 As far as I know right now, two. My Mare-Do-Well, Sunset Shimmer, also started on Nightmare Night, and there's one other story where the same happens to unicorn Twilight. In both instances, they were originally last-minute costume choices.
6647783 That makes since. It would be the perfect time, especially if its unplanned.
Definitely has potential, but I agree that this needs a proofreader. Plenty of easily avoidable (and easily fixable) errors, but the story itself has promise. Will continue to read.
Welcome to the 'Mare do Well writers' club!
Is this what you based it off of?
6651262 Yep. I took the base the design and tweaked it to be more dragon like.
6651215 I will seek one out today and hopefully it wont take long for someone to take the job.
I didn't realize how many Mare Do Well fics were out there till I started this one.
Of course, Lily, they're all just fans. I love this line.
6652802 Since they had a pony see them in costume I figured that I should have a reason to explain why anyone didn't suspect them.
6652148 This is the good stuff!
Also; ewww, what's that?
MORE!!!
And Lily should have a tag...
Finally I could read this! Very promising beginning so far! Can't wait to see what happens next!
Only thing I noticed this time was that there are much more typos than in "How Lily got her 'creepy' super strength".
Were you in a rush while writing these three chapters?
6698917
This can't be more right. She needs one!
Might even encourage more authors to write for her, if they see that she is supported with an official tag.
6698896 You'll see. It ain't friendly.
Hopefully they'll add a tag for her soon.
6699571 yes, sorry about that. I have very little time right now. I reached out for a proofreader but no takers.
6702467
Where did you ask for one?
6702604 Proofreader Group.
6703419
Which one?
6704358 that's it's name. The Proofreader Group
I found another proofreaders group so I'll try that one.
6704462
Just continue to ask. The Proofreader group has many proofreaders listed, sooner or later someone's going to say yes.
You forgot to add a genre by the way. I tried to add the story to the Writer's group, but I don't know which folder I should choose.
6704575 I'll try again.
I was actually unsure what genre to label it. It didn't quite fit adventure since the story stays around one location, it's not slice of life of comedy. I'll just mark adventure.
6707907
An adventure story can be set at just one place too, so, the tag definitely fits.
This is a great story!
6708347 Thank you.
The Tatzlwurm! This is going to be epic!
I see that you venture into more dark territories. I like that.
How's your search for a pre-reader going?
6723470 It'll more of a superhero smackdown rather than dark but this story will have a darker moment than the last one. That will be later.
Still haven't found one but will keep looking.
6723779
Don't give up! Eventually, somepony's going to say yes!
6724836 I won't.
cold...
nice update!
Wow, what a fight! Your descriptions are superb, I could see everything in front of my inner eyes!
I also noticed a little less typos than in the other chapters. Work on that, if you can't find a pre-reader. The more concentrated you are while writing, the less mistakes you'll make.
Lily sure is taking on a lot to save Ponyville. I wonder to what it will lead her and what realizations she will have.
Being a superhero is no foal's play, after all. It's a serious task and very dangerous.
You form another intriguing tale here, I can't wait to see how it continues!
6754572 Oops. It's fixed. Thank you.
6754681 Thank you. I'm glad that I could deliver.
I am working on my typo catching. Maybe I'll stll get a proofreader.
It's no foals job for sure. You'll see how it turns out.
This was sure an exciting chapter. Can't wait for more!
6798520 Thank you. The next chapter should be ready soon.
Arg! a cliffhanger!
Must... have... more...
also:
6814113 Don't worry. I should be able to post the next chapter tommrow & thank you. I'll go fix it.
Super chapter! Loved it!!!
6820712 Thank you
Lifting sadness. The calvary arrives! Secrets revealed! Questions and reunions ensue! A daring escape! Tensions rise and more next time on... Lily Mare Do Well!!
6822288 Questions and reunions is right and little more excitement before it wraps up.
Comradiere and fellowship blossom amongst the populace. Sole talents belie inner strenghts of the everypony citizen. Only together can they truly stand out. Will the fillies and colts hold out til they arrive? Find next time on Lilly Mare Do Well!!!
6852846 The next in the works.
You would make a good narrator.
6854615 That is kind of you to say. Stories like yours just bring that side out of me more. Though I just speak what I feel at the moment. I actually procrastinate when it comes to wanting make my own stories on paper, print, or text. Thanks either way thanks. Looking forward til the next chapter regardless.