keep on keeping on

by pencil mark

chapter three- where am I?

Author's Note:

this chapter may or my not be boring but read to the end please its worth it

I woke up in dark place. I'm used to dark places and all, but I didn't like this one.

I snorted loudly and pawed at the ground with my tattered hooves.

Soon enough somepony lifted up a black cover sort of thing that had been draped over an old cage. I shook my head. Why would they put that there? To mess with me? To make the scene more dramatic then it was?

The pony that had lifted the drape was a young pegasus with yellow fur and almost too bright blue mane. She squeaked and darted away quickly.

Two older ponies walked up to my cage. I raised my eye brow. One of them was Thunderlane. he looked serious about what he had to say. The other had mane that looked like fire. He just looked like he was just there cause he could be.

"Hello again." I said in my most mischievous tone of voice. "You know Thunderlane I saved you twice, you should be thankful."

"Well i'm not. You tried to hurt those innocent foals who did nothing to you!" He snarled. He was obviously just trying to intimidate me and it wasn't working.

"Who said I was trying to hurt them?" I said while fussing over my hoof. "Maybe you're the monster keeping the innocent one in a cage."

Just them a mare with light purple fur and blue mane with white tips, burst into the room in which I was caged.

"Then what were you doing around those foals?" She demanded. "Do you really expect me to think you were just going to play with them and leave?"

"Eavesdrop much?" I said, rolling my eyes at her.

"Well someone has to make sure everyone that is in here is alright." She shot back.

"By sitting at the door listening to everything everyone says?" I laughed. "Hows that working out for you?"

Thunderlane charged up to my cage. "You leave her alone alright?" He sneered. "We are going to take you to some pony that can handle you."

"What? You can't handle me Thunder? Thats pretty sad." I knew I was making these ponies mad, they had to get rid of me.

"We are taking you tomorrow." He said ignoring me. "I don't want anypony going near here cage."

He waved to the purple pony and shut the door.

"Why are you still in here?" I hissed.

"Because I don't think you are the pony you think you are."

I just stared at him. No pony had ever said that to me.

Comments

[World Trotter]

I don't know how to feel about this I like the idea of the story but it is very fast paced and needs more detail. The chapters are short but I feel like they could be longer but all in all there are a lot of flaws to this but I can see potential

[pencil mark]

6665883 thank you? this is my first story so no need to criticize it that much. im aware that the chapters are short. and i don't have a proof reader so there are going to be flaws. sorry i guess for it not being perfect

[pencil mark]

6665883 im sure your a nice person but this is kinda harsh. i don't even think i have been on this site for a week! have a nice day though and thanks for trying to read my story.

[World Trotter]

6665892 it's fine that it's not perfect I was just saying you should probably try to space out the story a little more I wasn't trying to sound to judgy

[Chaotic Neutral]

No offense, but naming a changeling "Thorax" is like naming a human "Chest Cavity".

[pencil mark]

6666737 very sorry my names are not to your liking but thorax was supposed to be chrysalis's mothers's name so she decided to name her daughter after her mother

[Chaotic Neutral]

6668014 I'm really really sorry if I offended you because that totally wasn't the intent, I promise I'll still follow your story
Gotta admit Miasma's a pretty good name

[pencil mark]

6668068 no its fine thorax would seem like a weird name if you don't know why i named her that! thanks for following the story :3 and thank you i was trying to come up with a good name and i didn't know if it sounded good

[Devildogg20]

6668014 You have predicted the future! Thoughts on the canon Thorax?