Epilogue
Velvet stepped out her bathroom and back into her living room, her relief at being safely back home interrupted by a loud and rhythmic thumping. “Crystal?” she called out, quirking her brow.
“I’m in the kitchen,” Crystal replied. “Chopping vegetables and being really mad because I didn’t know where you were and you didn’t leave a note.”
Velvet stepped into the kitchen where, sure enough, Crystal was very forcefully chopping up a zucchini, utilizing a large cleaver that was very obviously too much knife for the job in front of her.
“Well, I don’t usually leave one,” Velvet replied with less sass than she normally would, suddenly nervous about that cleaver. “I mean, there’s not really a reason to be mad about it, I do this almost literally all the time.”
“Oh, I have every right to be mad, and I probably still shouldn’t chopping vegetables because of that. You know if you’d left a note, I probably wouldn’t be so mad,” Crystal said.
“Well, you could always sto —” was as far as Velvet got before a lighter chop of the cleaver took Crystal’s hoof right off of its limb, spraying blood onto the wall and floor.
“Your hoof!” Velvet screamed hysterically.
“Oh no, my hoof!” Crystal screamed sedately, waving her stump around. Even more blood sprayed onto the walls and floor.
“Your hoof! Your hoof!” Velvet screamed even more hysterically, backing into the opposite wall in terror.
“Oh, if only somepony had left a note, this horrible tragedy could have been averted!” Crystal wailed with all the conviction of a pony with absolutely no acting skills.
“Your hoof, it came off like papier… mâché….”
Velvet looked at the hoof on the ground — which looked suspiciously like a poorly made facsimile — to the blood that had spattered onto the walls and floor — which looked and smelled suspiciously like raspberry pie filling — to Crystal Wishes herself, who was pointing at her with the hoof she had very obviously not just separated from her body.
“And that’s why you leave a note!”
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You know, CW? I'm surprised you didn't think of Crystal getting even with all the stuff Velvet does to her before someone else did.
And darn if I didn't have fun reading it!
Yes, we are totally even now. I'm sure I was thinking of doing something that, now, I'll refrain from doing. It may have been something nice but, hey, we're even, so what's the point? It was going to be a cake.
6936541
A cake? Ha!
You lie.
6936071 I'm surprised you think I haven't thought of it! I think of many things. I just don't always write them for various reasons.
Besides, I can recall at least two times Crystal has gotten revenge in her own way.
6937020 What? Nooo, don't, come back, the cake wasn't a lie! Did I mention the buttercream? BUTTERCREAM!
6937023
Buttercream?
Humph! Fine. You're just lucky. You'll be on vacation for my birthday, so I'll let it slide this time, but next time, young lady....
These two stories were great. They were both random, fun, and hilarious all the way around, and I especially liked how Velvet played off these nut jobs. That said, it does bring up one nagging question:
6936541 Do you have any plans to make this canon to Q&B or at least play with it more? It wouldn't really have all that much impact on the overall story, but it would give you the hilarious option of having someone walk in on Velvet and Twilight. The best option is probably Shining Armor thanks to his relationship with the local Twilight and the fact that a meeting is trivially easy to set up thanks to his relationship with Silent, but just about anyone would work because it is hard to mistake an alicorn for anything else.
6939433 With all due and absolute respect to Phyco, as much as I enjoyed reading this... Nope.
If you want to consider this canon to your perception of our universe, totally fine! I really enjoyed it, so I wouldn't blame you. But if it's not written by us, it's not canon. End of story.
6939653 Fair enough. I mostly wanted to see the others react to Velvet sleeping with Twilight 2.0, but you could always do that as a funny non-canon bonus chapter or side story to avoid having to reconcile this insanity with the main stories.
6939734
Don't worry. We haven't seen the last of Velvet Step-Upsilon-Sextus (not to be confused with the nearly identical Velvet Step-Epsilon-Sextus in the main Q&B canon).
What story is Velvet from? I can't seem to find it. I've gathered that 6939653 is the creator of the OC, but I can't seem to match her stories to the character.
7361106
Velvet actually appears in most of Crystal's stories (and several by Anzel as well), but The Velveteen Mask is her starring role (Crystal's Wishes is her first appearance).
7361502 Ah, danke. Couldn't figure out why none of the other stories on Crystal's list seemed to mention Velvet. Pity she's said this one isn't canon for it, but it's their world setting to control.
7361790
Well, it's close enough. This is Velvet Step-Upsilon-Sextus. Main canon is Vevet Step-Epsilon-Sextus.
See? They're practically the same pony!
7361790 I mean this in the least rude way possible! Did you miss The Velveteen Mask?
Crystal's Wishes introduces her as a filly and spans a much longer period of time (given the sizable difference in length between it and Mask). Though she's not the main character, she is the best friend of the main character, so she's basically a main side character with a lot of screen time.
7362633 3AM and anthro cover art threw me off. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Y'know, I was expecting to hear from the World's Actual Sharpest Knife again...
7741896
That's a callback to the vintage webcomic Dungeon Crawl, Inc. (now archived on Tumblr). It's never explained exactly what a "clavin" is, but it's always something that gets injured during a scene of physical comedy, usually involving a moose.
No, that isn't code for something.
In any case, here's one that doesn't involve a moose.
I do keep meaning to get into Crystal's work. This is a good reminder to do that. At some point. As you said, a lot to catch up on.
Regardless, wonderful stuff throughout. Equestria-Decimus is a silly place, and that's why we love it. Thank you for this.
You can has review!
Hello! Have a review. I enjoyed this, and for much the same reasons as its predecessor. Less keen on the OC(s) from someone else's works, though, as it left me wondering whether I was missing out on some of the fun. Still, Anypony for Doomsday? was so good that even with a couple more reservations, this sequel is still like-worthy!