Chapter 2: puzzles in the catacombs
The room that Celestia goes through is much bigger than she expected. Purple columns and brick walls covered in moss showed that the ruins had been here for years. There was a stairway going both left and right with a shadowy exit at the end of the room. Celestia makes her way through the room taking in her surroundings. Toriel found it very amusing that Celestia was this curious about the catacombs.
"This way child" Toriel said as she made her way to the entrance, with Celestia following.
Now there were in a smaller room, it still had the purple brick walls but there was a closed purple door, probably locked, with a yellow lever next to the door, and 6 pressure plates in front of the lever. "Welcome to your new home Celestia. Allow me to educate you onto how things work around here" Toriel then proceeded to walk on 4 pressure plates and switch the lever, opening the door. "The ruins are full of puzzles." Toriel began to explain. "Ancient fusions between diversions and door keys. One must solve them in order to move from room to room. Please adjust yourself to the sight of them" As Toriel walked off, Celestia got 'adjusted' to the puzzles, which meant she took about three seconds looking at it, then proceeding to the next room, but not before walking in the pattern the boss monster went in, just to be safe.
The next room was some sort of giant hallway, there were two streams with wooden planks to get across them, there were also 3 levers on the far side of the wall. "To make progress here, you will need to trigger several switches. Do not worry, I have labelled the ones that you need to flip." As they walked through Celestia noticed the switch like from the room before but with some writing and arrows in yellow marker.
"Um, Toriel?" Asked Celestia
"Yes dear, what seems to be the matter?"
"Well, uh." Celestia blushed "What are the, uh, 'scribble things' suppose to mean?" She said, blushing mad, feeling like she would know but just didn't. She knew what the arrows were indicating, but didn't quite understand the words.
Toriel was quite Shocked to hear this "I see, well it says that you have to pull the switch dear, do you know how to read?"
"Uhh, well, I-ah, um." Celestia couldn't fine the right words to say. Luckily Toriel did.
"Don't worry too much about it child, it's fine, I can teach you our language in due time." She said cheerfully. The filly beamed at this. She pulled both of the switches and heard some sort of 'thunk noise' "Splendid! I'm so proud of you, little one." The little alicorn felt proud. "Let's move on to the next room."
As they approached the next room, Celestia saw a strange looking, 'thing' next to the door. Toriel began to explain, "As a pony living in the underground, monsters may attack you."
Celestia was shocked, "What! Why me?" She groaned. She didn't understand why a monster would just attack a pony.
Toriel knew, but didn't really want to say. "It is just what some monsters will do..." She said, not looking at her. Celestia still wanted a complete answer, but let it slide for now. "You need to be prepared for this situation. However, worry not! For the process is simple. When you encounter a monster, it will start a fight. While you are in a fight, strike up a friendly conversation. Stall for time, I will come to resolve the conflict. Practice talking to the dummy." Celestia went up to the dummy.
Suddenly the little white heart appeared in front of her, shocking her, "Toriel?" She asked. "Will 'this' happen every time I encounter another monster?" Toriel nodded, "O-Kay, this I'll have to get use to." Celestia encountered the dummy. "Uhh, hello there, nice uh, stitches you have there." Celestia talked to the dummy. "..." It doesn't seem much for conversation, Toriel seemed happy with the alicorn.
"Ah! Very good my little pony, you're a natural." Toriel explained cheerfully, going to the next room. Celestia blushed happy to see that her mom was proud of her.
'Mom?' The filly shook that thought out of her head 'She wouldn't want me as a daughter, would she?' The filly looked at the dummy again, "Do you she would want me?" The dummy said nothing. Celestia face hoofed, "I'm talking to a dummy. Guess I'm the, dummy now." The pony giggled at her own bad joke, as she trotted to the next room.
As she walked to the next room, she noticed a hallway and saw Toriel, waiting for her. "There is a puzzle in this room, I wonder if you can solve it?" As they walked down the hallway, Celestia's heart came out and a froggit attacked.
Celestia didn't know what to say, "Uh, um, nice mouth, really brings out your eyes." The pony stumbled but got a hang of her speech. The froggit didn't understand, but was flattered anyway. Luckily, Toriel came and resolved the conflict, by glaring at the monster. The froggit understood and hopped away, lowering its head in shame. With that said and done, the pony's heart went back in her chest. Celestia stared at her chest for a moment, then giggled. "It feels, warm, when it does that." She said to no-one in particular.
They reached the end of the hallway. The filly saw some sort of, lake with a platform full of spikes. "This is the puzzle, but, I think you can just fly over it." Toriel explained remembering that Celestia had wings. Said pony blushed with embarrassment.
"I, don't really know how to fly." She exclaimed as she looked at her wings.
Toriel thought for a second. "Here, I'll give you a ride." The monster then picked Celestia up and over her back, giving here a piggy back ride, the filly giggled happily as Toriel walked through the hidden pathway in the spikes. As they reached the end Toriel put the little pony down, "Puzzles seem a bit too dangerous for now."
They reached the next room. "You have done excellently thus far, my child." The alicorn beamed at this. "However... I have a difficult request to ask from you." Toriel took a deep breath, "I would like you to walk this hallway by yourself." Celestia was confused by what she meant. "Forgive me for this." As soon as she said that she zoomed off to the other end of the room.
"W-wait up!" Celestia tried to catch up to her, but Toriel was much faster. As Celestia ran she noticed how long this hallway was.
'Why is this so, freaking, long!' She thought to herself. As she reached the end of the hallway, tuckered out from the running, she saw an odd column. "T-*huff* Toriel? Are you be-*pant*behind there?" Toriel appeared from behind the pillar.
"Greetings my child, do not worry, I did not leave you." The monster reassured her. "Thank you for trusting me."
The alicorn huffed, "You're, *huff* welcome." Celestia regained her breath as Toriel chuckled,
"There was an important reason for why I left you, to test your independence. I must attend to some business, and you have to stay alone for awhile. Please remain here, it is dangerous to explore by yourself." Toriel thought for a moment, "I have an idea, I'll give you a cellphone." Toriel gave the little pony a cellphone and a brown, stitched up satchel. The filly was confused as to why she was given a satchel to her. "The satchel is for holding your phone, my child. The monster said, as if she read her mind. (Or expression of confusion).
"If you need anything, give me a call. Be good alright?"
"Alright." Celestia answered. Toriel walked out the room leaving the pony behind.
So we discover the puzzles and fighting mechanics, yay! Also, you may be wondering why I made Celestia not know how to read, or fly, (Or magic later on.) 1. It's another lauguage, I'm pretty sure it's hard to understand lauguages. (She's also seven, not everyone's good at basic stuff even when there seven). 2. Later on in the chapters, we have some bonding mother-daughter moments. Cooking, magic, learning etc.
Anyway, thanks for reading, leave a like and comment down what you think about the story so far.
P.s if you have noticed, I'm deciding that Celestia would be as bad as puns as Toriel (and another character if ya know what I mean 
)
That's it for now.
Stats
Page generated in 0.035 seconds
Total duration
746 users online
848,074 hits today, 2,456,496 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2023
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2023 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Huh. And here I thought you'd say that ponies and Monsters used different written languages. It would make sense.
Might want to check your tenses. There are several points where you switch between past and present tense.
6646612 Other than that, it's a pretty good read.
6646612 hi.
6668044 I was hoping that Flowy whold get eaten but hey this is good never the less.
YES TIA'S ALREADY MAKING BAD JOKES THIS IS MAKING ME LAUGH SO HARD INSIDE RIGHT KNOW!!!
I'm liking the story, but you should maybe consider getting an editor. There is slightly incorrect formatting, capitalizing, and tense errors everywhere. Other than that, good job so far.
6733719
1st, How does one get an editor?
2nd, my editing is trash when it comes to tense correction
3rd, thanks, I try my best
My welcome?
6771651
I suck at editing~
But it is now fixed
Thanks for pointing it out
6714885 Why did you quote two paragraphs when you were only referencing one sentence?
6908881
.....................
.....................
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT-lvzrDJv2UFV8f9WvHQ0CpS0W1F63s4YS9ogL-5ycPE25ZxfGdFpmMXwYcg
6908961 you said "more faster", you don't need the "more" here, since the "faster" already has a "more speed" meaning.
6928247
Huh, did not know that...
Welll
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRq49cNpooV7zm7ap9RE0RARRgxAO1yr8TVA9VpAQcrFF-qPn7RnZyq-01mog
6929084
Found one!
"Ah! Very good my little pony, your a natural"
Corrected version - "Ah! Very good my little pony, you're a natural!"
Story is still getting better
(My need to fix spelling errors is kinda getting out of hand! Just a warning:3)
Ye olde sunbutt is having a grande time
Can't know if spelling old words correctly
Since i never learned how they were spelled! :3
Shall continue reading on the 'morrow
7022816
Ahhh, I love it when people do my editing for me
It really lets out my inner
Sanslaziness.I fixed those, and thanks for pointing those out.
7022868 There was a line where Toriel was toriel. And the last line had Celestia as Celestial.
Minor problems; nothing much.
As toriel walked off
Don't worry to much about it child
Celestia was shocked, "What! Why me?" The groaned. She didn't understand why a monster would just attack a pony
Stall for time I will come to resolve the conflict
Ah! Very good my little pony, you're a natural."
" Do you she would want me?"
I'm the, dummy now
Puzzles seem a bit to dangerous for now
Celestia regained her breath. Toriel chuckled,
I have an idea I'll give you a cellphone
1. Forgot to capitalise.
2. Too.
3. I think you meant She.
4. Stall for time, I will come to resolve the conflict. (Forgot your comma)
5. Forgot your opening quotation mark.
6. "Do you think she would want me?"
7. Extra spacing here.
8. Too.
9. Celestia regained her breath as Toriel chuckled.
10. I have an idea, I'll give you a cellphone. (Forgot your comma)
Hrmm...pretty sure you meant curious.
Well that or Toriel got a dark side that finds humor in seeing others being stuck in an immobile or unresponsive stupor.
Either way, while I can understand that your earlier chapters are worse than your more recent ones due to experience differences. You reallllyyyy should come back to these chaps and fix them. Because don't forget that your first few chapters generally give readers a first impression of how well you write, and some might jump ship before they see your improvements in the later chapters.
Ah! She said it! She said it!
7703755
Oh my God that is just so awesome!
7703755
Yeah she did