Losing someone can be hard. But it can sometimes be even harder when you never really got to know that person in the first place.
As everyone around her mourns this tragedy , Princess Cadance upholds her role as ruler of the Crystal Empire in the only way she knows how: with dignity and grace. In carrying out her royal duties, she knows she has to put aside her own feelings of grief, and act as any princess would.
No one would ever know that, deep inside, she's completely falling apart...
Hear the LIVE narration by Pencil and Priest here!
WARNING:
Contains miscarriage, brief scenes of violence, mentions of blood, and adult non-sexual themes. This is a story about losing an unborn child. Please be aware of that before you read.
This is not a normal anonpencil story. Does not contain Anon. Does not contain jokes.
This, bar none, is my favorite AnonPencil story.
I'm truly speechless by how powerful this is. Cadance's pain resonated so strongly for me, as well as her sense of isolation throughout the whole story.
I-I think I need to lie down. I can't write a pun to this. Amazing job.
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Thank you both. Really.
Damn.
this is sad. very, very sad. i know because my mother never gave birth to any child but me. once before and 3 after i was born. so... sad. too bad my bio dad is a... is a... you say it. i don't wanna say it but i do
more. that's all i ask. more.
Sees new Anonpencil story is up. "Alright, something fun to read."
Sees it's a serious Anonpencil story from her post. "Aw shit, baby. We getting all up in there. Crack out the popcorn and get comfortable, cuz the hype's real."
Reads the description of story. "...oh mother of god, what am I getting myself into?"
6640863 Hey, I warned you.
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I'm....not entirely sure what you mean by this. Do feel free to elaborate though.
And the dead foal of a goddess goes on to rule a land of the forgotten dead, turning their souls into links of a chain where their half-memories torment them forever...
And a mint green unicorn with hoodie goes slowly mad.
6640865 The warnings do naught to deter the hubris of youth, only fan the flames. I never really understand how real your works get, or if I do, I just ignore the warnings and trudge on ahead. Suffice it to say that my assumption of being able to get a quick laugh from this story miscarried.
I'ma go drink a bottle of bleach now...
6641295
AH, first pun of the comments.
I'm proud of you.
Reading the description, part of me wants to read this and part of me is crying so hard on the inside just because of the concept. She's the Princess of Love...she should be able to experience maternal love if she wants to without these terrible complications...
6641362 That could pretty much go for anyone who tries to be a mom.
Which is sorta kinda a little bit my point...
6641637
Exactly. I wouldn't wish that on anybody. But somehow with Cadance...I feel like the "love" power she holds is more than just romantic, and I feel like she'd be one of the ones who would really end up being hurt the most by it.
But of course, I'll have to read the story to get the full scope, no matter how much it hurts me.
6641113 Sounds like a fanfic idea to me, can you write it?
6642352 Lyra Heartstrings already suffered enough, for Faust's sake! I'll not turn the entire universe against her AGAIN!
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Eh, it'd probably end up being overly long, purple as hell, and pretentious.
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Hey, don't talk about Twilight that way.
But seriously, thanks for the comment and stuff.
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My pleasure. This was heart-wrenching to read, but in all the right ways. The emotions conveyed never reached that melodrama levels that plague most stories of this kind. The twin scenes of them breaking down—Cadance trying to beat Shining away only to collapse in his arms, and Shining demolishing the baby's room in a violent rage—were painful, but cathartic.
Great job, friend.
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I'm very glad you appreciated it. I honestly put some work into this one, so it feels nice to know that it resonated with others.
s-see? I c-can write serious...sometimes....
6642913 It was proof, however, that pony creator gods are worst creator gods. Cuz they just pop out bastard foals and then drop them off for Omniversal Child Services to take care of.
THAAAAAAAAAT SLUUUUUUUUUUT!!
Alright, I've had around a day to let my opinion putresce in my head. I hasn't changed much from a few minutes after reading, though.
The most succinct way to describe my opinion is (to those who have seen Vi Hart's video On Gender.
I don't understand your meat noises.
To those who can not, or don't want to, watch the linked video, or those seeking elaboration, I will explain further.
If you asked me to describe this story, I'd say: "Cadance had a miscarriage. That's about it.". Just, that, with not much emotion going on, because that's just how I (don't) feel about these things.
I could say that Cadance is overreacting (as you said not to), but I've read about such things enough to know that the truth in these matters is very nuanced.
She is reacting as healthy normal humans† do, as far as I can tell.‡
Can I fairly say that I would not react approximately the same way? No, as I am not in such a situation, nor have I ever been, nor can I see into the future. What I can fairly say is that this story has failed to evoke such feelings from me almost completely.
I don't think this is a failing of the story. I think that this is a failing of me. (This goes back to that "meat noises" thing.)
What I'm saying is that I don't empathize. Maybe I will someday, but today is not that day.
† That she is equine is not the point. She is mentally human, or close enough.
‡ Now is an excellent time to point out that I am not all three, if even two of those.
EDIT: In case it's not clear, I think the story is good. Or something. It's complicated.
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Ah.
Ok, well, thank you for the feedback.
I had a pun in the oven, but I unfortunately lost it.
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HAH.
Yes.
Well done.
A sad but moving piece. Well done, anonpencil.
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That is a bloody disappointment.
6652846 The menstruation story was the one below this. Frankly, I find your abortive attempt at a pun stillborn.
Not to be mean, need more puns in here.
This story hit me in a spot i didn't remember still there. A personal, age old spot.
Kudos to you, dear Pencil.
Shit, man. I don't even know what to say. Technically, this is a very well constructed story. No glaring flaws, good flow and characterization, all that good stuff. Emotionally... goddamn. Emotionally it's just devastating. It's a hard, cold thing, burying a child.
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Thanks guys. Means a lot coming from you.
wow... this story touched my dusty heart... i like how it showed shining also beeing affected by the chrushing sadness, and i think the ending was beautiful actually
<3
This might be fucked up of me to say, but, uh...when she said that she didn't want to hold him, I imagined Shining awkwardly setting the box on the floor...
This pulled at my heartstrings. It was so sad.
Normally, I live and breath dark/sad/death fics, but this...
As a person, who has been through miscarriage and still deals the grief of the loss now and then, this story hit home. Good job.
The fact that you usually write non-serious stories and then I hear about this and see the massive genre shift intrigued me. The emotions and details... everything is handled in a slow, heart crushing kind of way. It feels genuine and the dignity you give Cadance in this chapter alone is admirable. The sense of loneliness is acute.
What inspired you to write this?
This is so fucking brutal... and the hope at the end... it's really a beautiful story. Thank you.
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Personal reasons. I hope those who can relate to it or those that learn from it will take what I had to say to heart.
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I've never been through this myself, but I don't think I've ever seen this done in the same somber way that you've written. Usually very insincere melodrama where it's been dealt with at all. This is a very welcome change.
...I also can't believe I missed that there was an epilogue the first time around. That has been fixed.
Having just listened to this on the stream, I have to say... wow. This is beautifully written; you are a wonderful serious writer, Pencil, as much as you do shitpost a lot.
And, I just have to say, you and Priest do very touching serious readings. I definitely wouldn't mind if you did more.
Damn. I had to legit take a break after reading chapter two and just... walk. Incredibly powerful, a bit of a gut-punch. Perfect ending. Just... I wish I could articulate my feelings a bit better. But just, bravo.
I...I'm not really sure what to say. I told myself for years I'd get around to reading this and have just followed the story along to the live reading you and Flutterpriest did.
Normally, I'm able to contain myself emotionally, but this one did indeed make me cry a little. I can't say I understand the weight of guilt and the pain miscarriage brings to those who suffer the terrible reality of it, how hollow it can make them feel to lose a life they never held or got to know, but I strongly empathise and sympathise to some extent.
There is an anecdote I'd like to share with you one day, about an event that relates to this, but not here. Not now.
You're a damn fantastic author, Pencil. You nail emotions and know how to make others cry and get in their heartstrings. Peace and love from me to you for that, you more than deserve that praise. 💛
Take care of yourself, alright?
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Me too. Usually I'd take it easy, but this... It's real, and it feels real. Genuinely may cry.