This began as a simple romance story, but it has since then blossomed into so much more. This is a story that provides a more in-depth look inside the Apple family, and what could have been the history of Ponyville. A tale of deception, unexpected rivalries, and buried feelings.
I included the gore and sex tags because there will be a slight amount of blood and mentions of sex, but there will not be explicit amounts of either.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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this looks good, cant wait for the update
690458
Thanks for reading! I'm planning on getting updates out there as much as possible, but the horrible procrastination... ;-;
Very interesting topic and premise, no errors as far as I can see.
Let's see where you take this. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Bonbon_grin.png
690476
*gasp* Two readers this quickly?
Thanks for reading! I'll try not to disappoint.
690483
I'm counting on you, young grasshopper. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/eenope.png
i3.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/002/796/447px-Manlytears3.jpg
I will not disappoint you, Sensei
Teen -tag is enough if it's mild gore and sex mentions. I see you've tagged it correctly nevertheless.
You should've saved the get-together from the readers. You basically explained everything what happens in this fic in your descriptions. I, for one, prefer surprises in the text. But, everyone runs with their own styles, I guess.
690564
I don't really get what you mean. All I did was give a basic description about what the setup was. It doesn't go into detail about what anyone says or does, it's just letting you know the background of the story. The gathering is necessary for establishing a plot device and introducing an important character. I wanted to have a real, solid reason as to why this character knew the Apple family, not just come up with some silly, obvious reason. It becomes important later on as well. Either way, thank you for you feedback and thank you for reading!
Cheerilee and Big Mac just get together at the end.
This is what I meant
690599
Ohhhhh.
Well, yes, but I figured that that much was obvious, since I said it was a CheeriMac shipfic at its heart, because that's what the idea started out as. I only added that because I wanted to make it clear that this includes more themes than just Cheerilee and Big Macintosh getting together, although it does happen. But it's the journey that makes it fun, not the destination, right? ...Right?
690620
Yeah I guess. It's just that these things are usually left for the reader to find out. You just told the ending here, it's like someone would make an awesome game and you'd be playing dat game. Then comes your friend and says what happens in the game and in it's ending
690631
WAIT. I think I see the issue now.
I said "Cheerilee and Big Mac just get together at the end"
What I should have said was "Cheerilee and Big Mac just happen to get together at the end."
The ending isn't just a simple "And then they bucked" and a "The End", if that's what you felt like it meant.
At least, I hope that's what you felt like it meant xD
No no not at all. You dirty minded you
What I meant is that a description should tell something, but not the basic plot lines of the story. It's like a back cover of the book. It gives ya a basic hint of what has happened and/or what's going to happen, but doesn't tell anything that will happen inside the story.
I find it funny that 22 people have at least glanced at the text on their screens, but only two have given it a rating. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Applejack.png
Come on, people! Moral support is needed for this awesome author!
690670
Ahh, now I see your point. That is a very good point, I will definitely keep it in mind when I write descriptions in the future. Sorry for the "spoiler"
690689
That right there is all the moral support I need. I feel all fuzzy in my internal organs
690772
Yay for internal organs!
I like the start here, and look forward to the rest, but there was one thing that didn't make sense to me. You said there was a civil war between the three pony tribes, but then that unicorns are almost never on the frontline. Who are on the unicorn's frontline, then?
690881 Thanks for reading! As for your question, the way I figured is the unicorns fought from a more artillery-type standpoint, with some on the frontlines, and a few being neutral or free for hire medics and other things like that. The same applies to Earth ponies and pegasi, since there are always those who are willing to make a buck who don't care about politics. Thank you for pointing that out, though, I think I may edit the story to compensate for that.
I'm a tad confused. Applebloom has a different mother? Or was she just mad no one told her how her mother died? I mean I imagine she knew that her mother was dead, so she must be mad about being a half-sister? I tried reading it again, but it's still ambiguous and worst of all ITS BOTHERING ME
693056
Regardless, thanks for reading! 
Yes, Applebloom has a different mother than Applejack and Big Macintosh, but they all have the same father, whom is Granny Smith's son. I can see how it can be confusing. Sorry about that
693056
Oh shit, I forgot to mention that it's implied that Applebloom was never told that her mother was dead, just that she wasn't around along with their father, which is what made her so upset.
Short chapter is short.
Either way, here's an update for all of you awesome people who actually enjoy this story!
More to come as soon as I can summon up the attention span to write it.
When I saw the Dark tab and read this, I started to have a bad feeling here. But still good, keep it up.
697659
Let's hope I don't disappoint.
Thanks man, I'm keeping it going as best I can
Enticing... waiting to see this gain momentum. Nice flash forward at the beginning by the way. It was a good way to promise s**t hitting the fan later.
I can't wait for the next part! Its sooo great!
it seems like its been nine weeks since you updated, but i'll favorite and track just in case, i really wanna read the rest of this story
good job so far.
I find it sad that I now find time to read this chapter.
I like your writing style- it flows nicely and isn't constantly peppered with details that aren't really needed.
unlike somebody who shall not be named
Uhm.. will you ever finish this story? I just started and i reeeeally want to know what happens next!