Tales from Tinies.

by MrAquino

Trixie's Flank Attack (Guest)

Author's Note:

Made by SomeRandomMinion. A more comedic chapter with an understanding Trixie.

"...Is that your card, little Lightning Chaser?" Trixie boomed, pointing not to the deck in her hoof, but empty air. Before her little volunteer could look up, she ignited her horn and fired a pink bolt into the air. It coiled and spun like an angry insect, even darting among the other foals in the audience and making more than a few yelp; before zooming into the sky and bursting like a firework into red sparks--
Into an Ace of Spades. Below, sparks spelled out the words HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LIGHTNING CHASER!

The foals cheered and stomped their hooves, smiles on all their faces as Trixie took her bow, motioning for the little pegasus colt she'd brought on her stage to do the same. At the lowest point, she smirked and whispered, "So, Lightning Chaser...what was that Trixie heard you mumbling about card tricks 'not being cool'?"

He gave a sheepish grin. "...Am I too young to say, 'no comment'? Or is that a grown-ups only thing?"

=====

By the time Trixie had collected her rather handsome payment for Lightning Chaser's party, evening had descended on Fillydelphia. Deciding to splurge a bit, she took her wagon/stage to a diner she'd heard some of the adults at the party mention. Apparently this place; The Warm Hearth, had some of the best oat and carrot soup around! And even better, the owners forbade anypony from eating humans in there--after performing the Moonshot Manticore Mouth Dive, Trixie knew all to well what being swallowed alive was like. She had no intention of making someone go through that, even if it was completely harmless to the victim.

Coin pouch jangling as she trotted inside, she locked her wheeled home up tight before heading inside; sure that nopony could break in unseen.

She didn't count on any human robbers, though.

A tiny grappling hook latched onto the wagon's undercarriage, one of its hooks catching between the boards. A few quick tugs on its rope ensured the anchor had a firm grip.
"About bloody time," a gruff voice mumbled. "My arm felt ready to fall off!"

Karl had the appearance of a thug: rough stubble on his jaw and neck, a brawler's muscular frame; complete with patched, rough-looking clothes and a scowling expression. The rucksack he'd thrown over his shoulder completed the image of a robber on the prowl. As he gave one last tug on the rope, that scowl lessened. "Alright Timmy, just like we practiced: you first."

"R-right Uncle K. Coming..." his nephew answered, coming out from behind one of the wagon's building-sized wheels. He was everything Karl wasn't: skinny, nervous, and not at all intimidating. He was a bit tall for eleven years, but that really just made the poor kid look lanky. At first glance one could hardly tell they were even related. Timmy did get some of his uncle's strength, though; he shimmied up the rope with little difficulty. "So, uh; what are we stealing this time, Uncle? You said that unicorn was a magician or something?"

Since arriving in Equestria, the pair had fallen in with a gang of other humans in Fillydelphia, who'd made a business of stealing little trinkets and knick-knacks from the ponies. It was a great bit of payback against the giants who saw them as talking candy. Karl was on the fast track to being one of the top "Snatchers" in the gang, and had even once punched a unicorn mare about to eat him in the nose; distracting her while his cohorts made a getaway with an antique teacup.

"That's right, kiddo; Miss Big Blue Butt is a magician. Some of the guys said she once enslaved a town with a necklace or some malarkey. Dumb as that story is, she's got to have some behind the scenes whatsit or other in there. Or maybe just a list of her tricks; either way this wagon should have good loot. And with her stuffing her face in there...she should be too full to snack on us if we get caught. It's a win-win."

Timmy suddenly stopped climbing. Despite the warm evening, Karl could see him shiver. He sighed. "Hey. Timmy? Relax. She's NOT gonna be eating you. I'll make her eat that stupid hat and cape of hers if she so much as licks her lips at you, got it? No way I'm letting you spend the night in some pony's stomach."

His nephew's shivering stopped, and Karl smiled when he heard Timmy chuckle.
"Th-thanks, Uncle. But I...kinda think her outfit is pretty. Too bad we uh; can't steal that..."

"Hah! I could try!"

They made good time getting inside the wagon, crawling under the door. The place looked a bit cramped even on their scale: a small cot off to one side, a fold-out table by the bed; cabinets and shelves covered nearly every wall--no bit of space was wasted.
That just meant more potential loot.

Time flew by as the pair set to searching for, and finding, any treasures they could carry: antique deck of cards for simpler tricks, sketches of new illusions Trixie had been planning; even a few flash cards of runes she'd been trying to engrave on her stage to help in spell-casting.
But despite their expert pace, the size of the two tiny robbers meant this work went rather slow.

Slow enough for a certain azure magician to have time enough eat her fill, pay for the food, and return to her wagon before they hauled anything off.

Trixie's expression went from surprise to anger when she saw the tiny thieves. "Wha--how DARE you try to burgle the Great and Powerful Trixie's caravan?! You will regret this, tiny humans!!" She stomped toward them, her horn aglow.

"KIDDO, LEG IT!" Karl roared as they both bolted toward the door. Before they could slide to crawl under it, a pillow flew off the cot and landed before them, blocking their path. "Dammit..!"

"You are not getting away that easily, little ones!" Trixie taunted. "Now, surrender and she will not be forced to--" A card flew up and slapped her in the face. Bewildered, she looked in its direction and found the bulkier human taking a combat stance near a pile of her cards. The smaller human was nowhere to be seen.

She fumed. "Disrespectful tiny! Trixie was monologuing!! You dare to interrupt--" Another card to the face.
"You dare to--" A set of trick rings panged off her horn.
"You dare--" A mote of dust square in her eye.

"YIPE! That was uncalled for!" Trixie's hoof flew to her eye and she tumbled back, her rump thumping against the wood floor. To Karl, the impact was like a ten-ton boulder had fallen nearby.

"You're not eating my nephew, you big blue braggart!" Karl snarled defiantly. A look around confirmed Timmy had either found a hiding place or gotten out. The job was scrubbed, now he just had to distract the pony so the kid could get away. And he knew just what to say to make her focus on him.

"But you're right; I shouldn't have thrown dust in your eye...I SHOULD have poked your rear with a needle and let some air out of your over-inflated rear!!"

Trixie growled, her horn taking on a new glow...then her eyes. Then she started floating, her horn almost scraping the roof. "YOU DARE INSULT THE SLIM AND GRACEFUL TRIXIE'S FIGURE?!" Her voice echoed and boomed in a way the cramped wagon shouldn't have allowed. "HER FLANK IS NOT FAT! SHE MERELY HAS WIDE HIPS, THAT SHE IS QUITE PROUD OF!!"

Karl gulped. He had a feeling getting eaten was now the LEAST of his worries. "W-well...you still can barely fit through the door to your own wagon!"

With a demonic roar, Trixie landed and charged at Karl, who ran like heck and started climbing a bookshelf. The commotion knocked a fold-out panel in the wall loose, which housed a record player. The music it began playing seemed oddly fitting to the desperate chase that ensued throughout the wagon....

Timmy saw all of this from behind a canteen on a low shelf by the bed. Despite his fear, he found himself giggling. "Never call a lady fat, Uncle..."
He had to keep himself from cheering when the giant mare tried to swat his uncle with her tail, only for the man to grab it and use it to swing away and launch himself onto a desk.

It wasn't long before Trixie finally caught Karl--using her magic to yank him off of a paper airplane he'd somehow crafted and tried to glide through Timmy's hiding spot to an exit out an open window. The evil glow was thankfully gone from her eyes as she held Karl up to her face. The music had even stopped.

"You...have proven to be...quite presistant, tiny one..." she rasped between panting. Though brief, chasing Karl around her wagon had been quite the workout. Doing that on a full stomach hadn't helped either. "But now...Trixie has you!" She laughed in triumph.

Karl tried to glare at her, but gave up and hung his head. "Fine. You win. Just...don't eat my nephew, alright? The kid's scared to death of you ponies, and seeing that would traumatize him."

Trixie's gaze flicked to the shelf Timmy was hiding on. She'd caught a glimpse of him just before finally catching Karl. "Your..nephew? Hmm, Trixie wondered why your partner seemed so small..." Her smug grin faded to a gentler smile. "Little one? Come out; Trixie only wishes to talk. She promises you will not be eaten."

Timmy slowly emerged from behind the canteen, fidgeting as Trixie came closer and loomed over him; his uncle still floating by her head. "S-sorry we t-t-tried to rob you, M-Miss Trixie..." He cringed when he saw her head reach down, but relaxed when the blue giantess began to nuzzle him.

"Shhh. It is alright, little one. Trixie forgives you both; besides, she could NEVER be mad at a thief as cute as you!" She nuzzled Timmy's head before pulling back. "And the great Trixie NEVER eats humans. She does not wish to make anyone languish in her belly, even if it is harmless."

Timmy blushed; sometimes he forgot that getting eaten by the ponies somehow WASN'T lethal.

Karl, meanwhile, was relieved their would-be target had turned out to be gentle, but he caught motion in the corner of his vision: a plush blue cushion, floating off the bed and onto the floor, behind Trixie. What was she doing...?

"Of course, Trixie has never really talked to humans before. Being on the road most of the time, she rarely goes near any human villages and such. So she would like to learn a few things about them. Just as your Uncle could learn a few things about Trixie..." a devilish smirk crossed her muzzle. "For one thing, Trixie's figure."

Karl's eyes went wide as gravity suddenly reclaimed him. He fell right onto the cushion Trixie had brought out...and found himself looking up at her flank...that was, in fact, not that fat or bulbous at all. Her hips were a bit wide, though.

You've got to be kidding me... was all that ran through his head, before Trixie promptly landed her rump on him, pressing him into the cushion as he completely vanished beneath her rear. All he saw was azure fur, and a Cutie Mark of a wand and Moon. He tried to thrash about, but the pressure and weight of Trixie's cheeks, together with how deeply he'd been pressed into the soft cushion, kept him from wiggling free.

Timmy couldn't help but laugh at his poor uncle's plight; the rest of the gang wouldn't let him live this down for a while. He smiled as Trixie tossed her mane haughtily and smirked down at her flank, barely-audible muffled shouts and curses coming from below.

"Yes little Timmy, it seems your Uncle had mistaken Trixie's shapely figure for...less sightly plumpness. So she decided to give him a closer look, so he could correct his mistake. And repent for that silly chase, too; of course. Trixie supposes that a good hour or so under her posterior should be enough. And during that time, we can chat." She gently levitated Timmy onto her hoof and hugged him against her chest--briefly wiggling down on Karl--as she smiled at him.

"So...how does a cute little thing like YOU get into the robbery business?"

Comments

[SomeRandomMinion]

Thanks for adding this! :D

[Lord Sergal]

7651711
Will there be more of these three?

[SomeRandomMinion]

7653393 Maybe...
I take it you liked my chapter?

[Ardashir]

Okay, this one is pretty funny. Those poor fool thieves.

[SomeRandomMinion]

7689358 Well, Timmy got off easy--Trixie just couldn't get mad at a cute kid.

Karl may have gotten two tons of "overinflated rear" dropped on him, but even that wasn't so bad...Trixie could have just had him for dessert.