3. One More Thing
Melody’s bed was awesome. Certainly better than my futon. Plus, again, sleeping with a pony, even without adult happy fun time, was still better than not sleeping with a pony. She was an exceptional cuddler and cuddling was something I really enjoyed. Being in bed alone just isn’t that fun.
With a yawn I crawled out of the warmth, put my shirt on, and headed off into the living room. The least I could do was make her breakfast after she was so nice to me. Especially after I laid everything out.
When I came out of the room, I found an older-looking colt standing there staring up at me with big violet eyes. “You’re not Melody!” he said accusingly.
“No, I’m Sunny Day. Are you her friend?” I asked.
The colt turned and trotted off towards the other bedroom, his messy orange mane bouncing about, showing off the white tips that gave it a unique quality. “Strong! There is a weird mare in here! Help!”
“Wait, no! I’m not weird!” I called before taking a step after him.
From the open door of the second bedroom, a big pegasus stallion came out. He had the same bluish-grey coat of the colt and his red mane also faded to white tips. “What’s going on, Cloud?” he asked. Then he saw me and started advancing. “Hey! How did you get in here?”
How did I get in? I was invited. I slept over. Tell him! Oh, wow, he was scary. Also kind of hot and muscly. Mostly scary, though. “I… buh… bedroom?”
He blinked. “What?”
“I was in the bedroom!” I explained.
“That didn’t answer my question. Hey… You’re wearing a black shirt! Are you a thief? Don’t move! You’re under arrest! Lay down.”
“Don’t move or lay down?” I squeaked.
“Lay down!” he ordered forcefully.
So I did, immediately. The last thing I wanted to do was get into a tussle with a big pegasus that wasn’t for fun.
“What is going on in here?!” Melody asked before coming out from behind me. “Oh… uh… Strong Wing, you’re home early.”
The scary big pony I now knew to be Strong Wing blinked when he saw Melody. The tension visibly drained from him and he nodded. “Yeah… Cloud Lance wanted to see a Wonderbolts show so I came home early and brought him with me. Are you alright?”
“Yes, of course. Do you really think somepony could sneak in on me? This is my friend, Sunny Day. You can get up, Sunny, he won’t arrest you.”
For a moment I hesitated. Staying down and not being a threat seemed like a good idea but I slowly stood and waved. “I’m Sunny. Hi.”
Strong Wing looked from me to Melody. Then back. Then back at Melody. Then he covered Cloud Lance’s eyes with a hoof. “Oh. Oops. Sorry Melody. I didn’t realize you had a special guest… or that you had special guests in general, to be honest.”
Melody threw her hoof up and shook her head. “Oh, no, no, no, no. It isn’t like that. She’s a guest guest. I swear. She slept over. Like you and Cloud Lance do.”
“Oh, well… alright then. Welcome, Sunny. I’m sorry I tried to arrest you for trespassing.”
“I’m sorry for scaring your little brother.”
“I wasn’t scared! I raised the alarm and went for backup!” Cloud Lance protested.
Strong Wing nodded. “You sure did. Now come on, let’s go hang out in my room for a little while and give Melody some privacy. Sorry again, Sunny. Nice to meet you.”
Melody’s face turned bright red and she brought both hooves to it once the stallion and colt were gone. “Oh, Celestia,” she groaned.
“I’m really sorry, Melody. I hope I didn’t cause any problems between you and your roommate. I just wanted to make you breakfast. I didn’t mean to cause a scene.”
She shook her head. “No, it is fine, honestly. You’re sweet to do that. Come on, let’s get out of here. I’ll buy you breakfast since Strong almost arrested you.”
“You don’t have to. I’m your friend, not your date, remember?”
She laughed. “Friends buy each other breakfast, too.”
“Oh… well, alright then!” One more free meal really wouldn’t hurt.
☼
Dolly sat across from me in her office having a giggle fit. She was practically laid out in her chair.
I crossed my forelegs and tipped my nose up. “It isn’t that funny.”
“What? You came in too hot and almost got arrested. That is hilarious!”
“Is not! You set me up for defeat.”
Her head shook. “No, I encouraged you to go out with a nice mare that is looking for emotional love. Not just a quick romp in the sack.”
“Yeah, like I said, defeat!” I teased.
Dolly winked at me. “Sure, sure. So, then you had breakfast?”
“Yes, and it was super awkward! She took me to a little cafe and we just stared at our food more or less. We didn’t even hug when we went our separate ways! Then I galloped home, cleaned up, got the mail, and came straight here so that you could laugh at my misfortune.” I sighed. “I don’t imagine I’ll ever see her again.”
“And thus ends another adventure in the life of Sunny Day.”
I nodded and then pulled a letter out of my bag. “And potentially begins a new one. I finally got a letter from school.”
“What did they say?” Dolly asked.
“I don’t know, I didn’t open it.” I held it out to her.
She took it and rolled her eyes. “What is this, a filly flick? I thought you wanted to drop out.”
“I did… I do! I just… want to graduate more than I thought I did. I worked hard to get here. It seems a waste to just drop out, but I’m not just going to go on and on until I hit some sort of subjective magical point where they decide I’m done. I’ve done enough work, and they should recognize that.”
“Fine, fine.” She ripped the envelope open and pulled out the note inside. As she read it over she didn’t betray anything in her face. “This is interesting.”
“What! What is interesting?”
“Well, they’re not going to let you graduate.”
“Oh…” I said, my ears falling and a slouch worming its way into my posture. So I’d be a dropout after all. Years of school and nothing to show for it other than knowing how to not blow ponies up with my horn.
“Unless…” Dolly trailed.
My ears shot right back up. “Unless?”
“You take three more specific classes. Your mentor says you won’t have to do the personal meetings, the self research projects, or the general growth in magic prowess training. You just have to attend and pass these three classes that she feels are necessary for you to be on your own.”
“Great! What are they?” I asked.
“Ethical usage of advanced magics, preparation for independent study, and—” Dolly snarked and started laughing.
“What?”
She held up a hoof in my direction and just kept laughing.
“Dolly!”
She gasped and mumbled something incoherent. It had an S in it. Tears were pooling in the corners of her eyes.
“What! What!” I climbed onto her desk and reached for the letter. She pulled it further from my hoof. Then I grabbed it in my magic and tried to tug it from her. She fought me as best she could while laughing at the same time.
Finally the letter popped free under the pull of my levitation spell. It flew over to me so I grabbed it and read it over. “WHAT?!” No way!
The older mare held her belly as she leaned back in the chair and cackled with glee.
“They want me to take sex ed? Why!”
Dolly gasped again and finally found a voice to exclaim, “Probably because it is funny!”
“Unbelievable. She’s unbelievable! You’re unbelievable! The whole system is unbelievable. I’m going to go out front and start washing glasses like an adult. When you find your professionalism you can join me behind the bar,” I said before trotting out.
Why was everypony so set against me starting my life? What could I possibly get out of three more classes. And sex ed? Really? Maybe if I was teaching it!
☼
This was humiliating. More humiliating than I imagined it would be. My rump was stationed on a pillow that was too small and I was surrounded by unicorn fillies that were at least two to four years younger than me. Maybe more? Who knows! They all looked like foals. At least they had cutie marks.
The classroom itself was extremely cutesy and approachable. Again, very much the sort of place for fillies and not so much for young adults. The walls were a happy yellow, the floor was covered in multi-colored rugs, and there were all sorts of motivational posters about hanging in there and dreaming to achieve.
To top it all off the instructor, Ms. Banana, was equally yellow and extremely cheerful. If she’d been any more cheerful I might have been unable to eat any sugar for the rest of my life. Which, any other day, I’d appreciate. I like cheerful! I was just in a sour mood.
“Alright, girls, what is the most important thing to remember when we deal with physical intimacy?” Ms. Banana asked.
“Safety!” all of the fillies and I responded. If you didn’t respond, you didn’t get credit.
“Super! You’re exactly right. Safety first. Today we’re going to learn about non-magical protection. Everypony, please get a zucchini.”
It took all of my effort not to slap my hooves over my face. This was insane. Apple Polish had done this out of revenge. There was no doubt about it. I wasn’t going to quit, though! Nope, they wouldn’t wear me out. Three classes and I would be a graduate. No more washing glasses for me! I could… do whatever it is ponies with a degree from the school did.
At the head of the room a small squadron of zucchinis were illuminated in various colors of unicorn magic and floating towards the individual fillies. I put on the best smile I could and picked the biggest one in the bunch before flying it my way.
“Very good, girls. Now, I’m going to give each of you a condom.”
The fillies all giggled. I didn’t. You didn’t have to giggle to get credit. Besides, physical intimacy was fun, not funny.
Ms. Banana wagged a hoof. “This is important, girls! You can laugh but it is my duty to make sure you know how to use these.” She then went about setting one on each desk. When she got to me she smiled cheerfully as she set mine down.
I just grinned up at her. Sunshine, optimistic, totally-not-an-adult-in-a-junior-high-class mare!
One of the fillies up front raised her hoof.
“Yes, Snow?”
“Why do we need to learn to use these? I understand that unicorns have a spell that does the same thing.”
Ms. Banana nodded. “That is true, but not every unicorn is strong enough to use that spell. What if you’re impaired? This method is tried and true!”
Impaired. She meant drunk. It was amazing to watch her use filly-friendly words for adult happy fun time stuff. Oh… alright, so maybe she wasn’t the only pony doing that.
The filly known as Snow asked, “What do you mean impaired? Like… tied up?”
I snrrked. Yeah… tied up. With fuzzy hoof cuffs.
Ms. Banana shot me a look and then smiled back at the filly. “Well… like if you were really tired or exhausted.”
“Okay… are we going to learn the spell? I want to learn the spell. I want to learn all spells even if I never plan on using it.”
Never say never, filly! That was one of the few spells I’d gone the extra mile to learn. Which had been really hard for me. Again, heat lances versus subtle manipulation. Very different spells. You most certainly didn’t want to mix them up in the heat of the moment. Get it? Heat of the moment! Thankfully this spell was pretty low powered.
Ms. Banana went on, “Yes, Snow. I know you love spells and I think that is super! For today, though, let’s just focus on doing this by hoof, okay?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Ms. Banana, my zucchini is bent. Is that a problem?” one of the other fillies asked after thrusting her hoof up.
How can she not laugh?! Laugh, Ms. Banana, laugh!
Without missing a beat, the mare shook her head. “No, Ley Lines, that is perfectly fine. Your condom will still work and there is no problem with a bent zucchini.
“Alright, fillies, let’s get those condoms out and zucchinis ready. Follow along with me. First you want to put the reservoir tip against the end of the zucchini...”
Ugh. Leave it to school to take the fun out of putting a condom on a zucchini—I mean, adult happy fun times.
☼
School and I didn’t really get along in general. I’d mostly kept up with it for so long so that I could get my pocket money and learn to control my scary magic. That was all handled now, so these classes just seemed silly. Of course, silly or not, a deal was a deal and I kept my word.
Now I was waiting in a lecture hall for my next class to begin. This was going to be very different from Ms. Banana’s class. It was for unicorns my age or older. Other than Little Miss Snow who was, apparently, very gifted magically. She stuck out in here as much as I stuck out in sex ed. Hopefully she didn’t ask me to be study buddies.
The door opened and Princess Celestia walked in. We all rose and then bowed. What was she doing here? Was this one of her classes?
“Hello, everypony. Go ahead and take your seats. I’m so pleased to see you all here! This is going to be an exciting term as we explore the ethical usage of advanced magic. This is, without a doubt, one of my favorite subjects.”
She paused and looked around. “Oh, lovely! I see a lot of familiar faces and some new ones, too. Before I start I’d like to get to know you. So, why don’t you tell me your name and why you’re here? We’ll start with…”
Please not me, please not me, please not me.
Princess Celestia pointed right at me. “You.”
I swear it is like I live in a story sometimes! “Hello, I’m Sunny Day and I’m here because my magic is heat based. When I was a filly I sort of set a janitor's tail on fire in junior high school so the authorities sent me here to learn to control my powers.”
The Princess smiled and even chuckled. “Sunny Day. Lovely name. I appreciate your story but what I meant was why did you choose to take this class?”
The other unicorns laughed and I felt my face flush. Well, this was just a humiliating situation for me. A real banner day.
“Oh! Well… you see…” Why would anypony take this class? What sort of thing should I make up? This was going to be a lovely start. Lying to the alicorn princess or telling her the truth. Eh, whatever.
“Well, I don’t think it is right to lie to you, Princess. I’ve been in school a while and I really wanted to graduate. To do that my advisor said I have to take this class. That is honestly the only reason why I’m here. It wasn’t my choice.”
Silence. Terrifying silence followed. A brief look around found a class full of eyes staring at me. They were all wide with horror, too. My stomach sunk. Maybe honesty was not the best policy.
Princess Celestia nodded. “Thank you for not lying, Sunny. That is commendable. Especially in a class full of ponies. Who’s next…” She then pointed out a stallion. “How about you?” She’d just gone right on to the next pony like it was nothing!
Wow… just like that? Works for me! I zoned out while the fancy magic unicorns introduced themselves and gave canned answers about why they were here and what ethical magic meant to them. I’m not one to brag but I’m pretty confident my answer was the best.
“Alright, my little ponies! Now, let’s discuss why we’re here. Each and every one of you is a powerful unicorn. More so than the average unicorn and even more so than a lot of the unicorns in this very school. Power can be dangerous and corrupting. That is why this class is so important. We’re going to discuss how to use your power ethically.”
She went over to the chalkboard and started drawing some simple pony figures. “Who can give me an example of an unethical usage of magic?”
Up in the front row a little blue hoof shot up.
“Midnight Snow?”
“If I used my suggestion spell to convince my mother to take me to the store and buy candy when she’d said no earlier that would most certainly be unethical.”
“Yes, it would. And why is that unethical?”
“Because when the spell wears off she swats you on the flank with a rolled up newspaper.”
Princess Celestia blinked and I could see her fighting to keep her lips from curling up into an amused grin. She turned back to the board for a moment before saying. “Yes… because when we do unethical things we can get into trouble and ponies could get hurt. Other ponies but us, too.”
I eased back into my seat. This was going to be a long ride for sure. I didn’t have a suggestion spell or anything like that. I had heat lances and fireballs. It was pretty cut and dry. Don’t shoot ponies with them! Oh well, at least the princess seemed like she’d be mildly entertaining.
☼
“Diddle, Dilly, I’m here!” I called after letting myself into the apartment. I’d had a key for ages but I wasn’t living here yet, so it was only polite to let them know. There was no reply so I set the groceries I’d brought on the counter.
“Hello?” Still nothing. Dilly’s bedroom door was open so I poked my head in. No adorable pegasus stallion in there.
Diddle, however, had her door closed. My magic illuminated the handle and gave it a turn. It wasn’t locked. Mischievously I rubbed my forehooves together and slowly pushed on the door with my spell. It opened.
Yup, somepony was in bed! The room was dark and there was a lump in the middle. It might have been lumpy enough for two ponies. It was too hard to tell but it probably wasn’t. I crept over to the bedside, pulled the sheet back, and slipped under it. Then I wiggled my way to the lump and looped my hooves around it. “Hi,” I whispered.
There was a squeal of surprise as Diddle leapt out of my hooves and the bed. The blanket and pillows flew everywhere as she went straight up. Her wings flapped and she ended up flying close to the ceiling and, I guess, away from danger. “Sunny! You scared me half to death!”
I wiggled on her bed and replied, “Sorry. I called twice and you didn’t wake up. I thought I’d try something more fun or see if you had a pony in here.”
Diddle dropped in altitude and settled onto the bed next to me. “I’m going to have to start locking my door once you move in here.”
“Aww Diddle, you usually love when I sneak into your bed. Instead of hugging you, next time would you prefer it if I just stuck my nose between your—”
“You hush! You’re right but you did scare me.” The mare’s cheeks burned red and she wiggled a hoof at me.
“I’m sorry. Honest! Would you feel better if I told you I bought some groceries for us?”
Her ears wiggled. “Did you really?”
“I did. Come on, let’s go put them away.”
Diddle nodded and chirped, “Perhaps you’ll be a great roommate after all! I’m still locking my door, though.”
“You’re no fun,” I said before getting up and heading back into the kitchen. I started putting away the bigger things I’d bought while Diddle went through the bags.
She pulled out a large zucchini and her nose wiggled. “Why does this one smell weird?”
Quickly, I shook my head. “Do NOT eat that without washing it first.”
“Uh… okay. Sure.” She carefully set it aside as if it were tainted.
“So, how is this going to work exactly?” I asked.
“How is what going to work?”
I waved a hoof around the apartment. “Me living here.”
“Oh! Well, we don’t have a third bedroom. You’ll get to live on the couch, more or less, and share my bathroom. Of course, you can also use my bed when I’m not around and sometimes when I am. You’ll pay less rent, too, since it wouldn’t be fair otherwise.”
My ears wiggled at that. It was certainly better than nothing. Plus I’d sneak into Diddle’s bed as much as I could. “That’s great. I really do appreciate you and Dilly for letting me do this.”
“Glad to do it! You’re a great friend and I know sooner or later you’re going to do something amazing. Plus you’d do the same for me.”
“You know it! Now…” I trailed as I put the last of the groceries away.
“Now?” she asked curiously.
I stalked towards her, my tail swishing. “I haven’t had any Diddle time in a while.”
Her eyes went big and then doey. “Oh, I see. And you think you can just demand Diddle time?”
“Demand? Not at all!” When I reached her I softly nuzzled her cheek and then blew behind her ear.
Diddle shivered and her hooves went slack. “Cheater.”
Teasingly, I pulled back. “Well if you don’t want to—”
“Oh! Don’t stop,” she squeaked.
“I see,” I replied before nuzzling against her side. Gently I bumped her toward the bedroom door. “Come on, let’s go get caught up.”
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I'm going to have to agree with Sunny on this one and say that she probably has to take sex ed out of pure spite. Another amazing and hilarious chapter. It's really interesting to see how Sunny was before she became the Lieutenant we know from Memoirs and Secrets.
6816802 Yes, and once Sunny realizes that her loving mother figure has betrayed her, they will meet at the summit of Mount Canterhorn and duel to the death!
I'll cue the music:
6816802 Nah I'm not going for that ;) I like to believe ponies mostly still work on paper and on coin. There are no credit cards, direct deposits, etc. Dolly is illustrating a point and teaching Sunny about life.
At Sunny's income level 10% is all she'd have to pay. Q&B Equestria is more on the socialist side of things.
Heh, it's all guards, all the time in Melody's place. Given his arresting reaction, I'm guessing police?
Yeah, it's pretty funny.
I understand the first, but the second seems a little odd unless you're going to go off and do your own studying ala Twilight or Moondancer. Sunny doesn't quite seem the type for that.
Bwhahahahaha!
Dolly was right, this is hilarious. Also, see, Velvet? Contraception clearly exists.
Yeah, that would be a very memorable experience for the stallion involved. But on the upside, hey, permanent contraception. And possibly gelding.
Little Miss Snow? I would have assumed Twilight given the rest of the description, but that name doesn't sound like her at all.
Full honesty even in an awkward situation, commendable.
Yeah, definitely not Twilight. Also, hah!
i48.photobucket.com/albums/f226/SpukiKitty/MY%20LITTLE%20PONY%20GIFS/C%20%20Pinkie%20Pie/Pinkie_Pie_Rocket_Take_Off_zpszo6tpvf8.gif
It was cute indeed, thank you so much :)
ded from laugh
Eeyup, looking rather solid. I said it in oaRG stories and I'll say it here: I really like the way you write Celestia it feels very, um.. natural? And the sex ed part was funny :D
Woo! another great chapter! say that zucchini don't tell me they had eh physical lessons with that?
Yeah. the Sex Ed is a spite class. And I find this hilarious.
And Now I have a feeling that Celestia has been watching Sunny for a while. And its good that they are giving her the option to graduate if she does the classes. Its a fun chapter with some funny moments. I cant wait to read more.
That made me snort out loud
She knows the truth!
Awesome chapter :) very funny
The irony is real here.
6823203 Ley Lines is my OC XD. Ironically, shes as bent as her zuchinni
Who else wants Sunny to have an "after school, extra credit session," with Ms. Banana?
Well, that was cute and funny as usual, and I am definitely seeing some bonding starting with Celestia even if Sunny doesn't realize it yet. Sunny probably made a bigger impression with her introduction than anyone else in the class, especially when you add in the fact that Celestia probably remembers her unusual greeting earlier.
Also, there is one little recurring issue with your stories that I wanted to bring up with lines like this:
You frequently have ponies doing things like this with their hooves that just don't work because ponies are quadrupeds. They need at least one of their front legs on the ground to remain standing and both free to move in anything even remotely resembling a natural manner. I can sort of excuse it with Silent because he is a pegasus so he can use his wings to remain upright in some situations like a fight (although a sword is a terrible weapon for a pony, but that is a huge can of worms I am not willing to go into here), but it really breaks immersion when I read lines like this and wonder how the ponies are not falling down. Sorry about the rant, it is just an engineering thing from the guy who dug into pony anatomy deep enough to figure out how they would actually fight and design weapons that actually work with their anatomy.
6823005 Oh yeah, I totally think it is a spite class :D
6823203 Yeah, city guards are the police and those two are clearly city guards (and a future PLHG). I kind of view Twilight to be about Sunny's age in this particular situation. I'm glad you're enjoying it!
6823634 I'm going to assume that means I did well with the cameo! Also thank you! I'm glad you enjoy my Celestia.
6823730
;D
6823766 This has been a fun one to right, I'm glad you're enjoying it!
6823807 Huzzah! Outloud reactions ^_^
6823943 Bent zucchini!
6824129 Sunny + Banana eh?
6824708 I'm glad you're enjoying it. As far as the horse stuff, I write this much like it is a cartoon and the show. In the show they don't fall over often when they lift both hooves.
i682.photobucket.com/albums/vv181/knightsofnodd/MLP/130303296318.gif
6824767 Yeah, I know, it's just that you go more serious and realistic on most things than the show does so this bit of cartoon physics sticks out and feels strange.
Why do I imagine Sunny has mixed up the two spells at least once?
If only you knew, Sunny. If only you knew
Anzel you horrid perv.
Is it bad that this story is making me jealous of Azurite?
"Not at all. I'll be teaching you how to straighten it out later in the semester. And yes, before you ask, also without magic."
Professionalism at its best. She'd probably make a great straight-pony sidekick for your gag show, Sunny.
I should know; I'm the same way.
(Old lady customer with a smile: "Just call it Horney Green."
Me: "Sure thing, ma'am.")
I'm with Sunny on this one. If i was in Sex Ed today with what i know now, and how corrupt my mind has become in the 4 years ive been out of school. I wouldn't be able to stop laughing.
What's this. Non abstinence only sex Ed? Such a thing exists. Although it'd be funny if Sunny had to take that version.
7673240 Celestia wouldn't allow abstinence only sex ed, in a place like equestria that stuff would probably be considered foal abuse.
So funny and nice at the same time!
Nice to see Midnight Snow and Ley Lines appeared in this. Hope to see more of them.