22. Heart Attack
“I’m going to have a heart attack!” the pink filly repeated as she dramatically threw her forehooves against the door.
This was the oddest thing that had ever happened in this office and I wasn’t about to miss it. I dropped my ‘Next Window Please’ sign on the counter and trotted over to her. “What do you mean, sweetie?” She looked perfectly healthy.
“I’m on a mission. A love mission! The pony I need to see is behind this door.”
Oh, an admirer. That explained it… except not totally. This filly was a little young for anypony in the office. She may have just met one of my coworkers and developed crush. I’d have to play this carefully.
I hunkered down just a little so I’d be on her level. “I see. And this love mission is that important? The pony of your dreams is back there?”
The filly’s head shook back and forth so hard her mane whapped me right in the face. “No! It isn’t for me. It’s for Mint Aloe. He wants to fall in love and the pony he can do so with is just at the other end of this line.” She cupped her hoof as if to grab something from the air and then held it up for me to see.
She was so sincere, so certain, I doubted myself that there was nothing in her hoof… but there was nothing in her hoof. I shook my head and asked, “Is Mint Aloe your little friend at school?”
“No! He’s my client. I’m a matchmaker and his match is behind this door but if I don’t get to the pony back there the love line might get tangled or lost or broken or exploded and I’ll have a heart attack!”
Client? I mean… I knew fillies and colts got jobs. Especially around towns outside of Canterlot. After prep school a pony could work. Still, this seemed odd. “Alright… well, if you tell me the name of the pony back there, I’ll go and get her or him for you.”
Her head shook again. This time I ducked the flailing mane. “It doesn’t work like that! I follow the love line to the pony. Then I take the pony back to the other end. The ponies meet, they fall in love, and I get another little piece of my cutie mark.”
“Huh?” That wasn’t how cutie marks worked! You just got it. “Sweetie, that room back there is for royal guards and staff only. Plus, you already have a lovely cutie mark. Why don’t I take you home to your parents, okay?”
“No, you can’t! Please. Please just open the door and let me see in. I promise I’ll just look in and, if the pony isn’t there, I’ll leave. Okay? I won’t go inside.”
Letting her in the back was not a great idea, but she was just so serious. Besides, I could handle a filly. It wasn’t like she was some hardened criminal. “Alright, I will if—“
“Yay!” she squealed in delight.
“If you tell me your name and where you live.”
“My name is Lovey Dovey! Pleased to meet you. I live in Cloudsdale.”
Cloudsdale! How did she get here alone? “Okay… well…” I turned and used my key on the lock. Slowly, I pushed the door open.
Lovey looked at the floor and slowly drew her eyes across it, up a desk, and right to Mythic. Then she squealed again and dove into the air, flying right at my subordinate.
Mythic just stared with wide eyes as the pink blur headed right for her.
I gave chase, trying to lock the filly up in my magic but she was too fast. In an instant she had her hooves around Mythic while sitting on her lap. “HiI’mLoveyDoveyTheMatchmakerAndYouNeedToComeMeetMintAloe.”
“What?” Mythic giggled.
Lovey hopped off her lap just as I caught up and set a hoof on her back. “Hi! I’m Lovey Dovey and you need to come with me right now! I’m a matchmaker and you need to meet Mint Aloe.” The filly grabbed Mythic’s hoof and started tugging her.
Mythic looked to me. I tried to run through the possibilities. Was this a prank? Some sort of thing the kids were doing to tease adults? “Do you want to go?” I asked.
“Well…” She giggled as Lovey struggled desperately to pull her out of the chair. “She says she’s a matchmaker and maybe I’d like this Mint Aloe.”
“You will!” Lovey squeaked.
I shrugged. “Alright, then let’s go… but I’m going too and we’re taking a duty guard just in case this is some sort of prank. I want an extra set of hooves around to chase any misbehaving ponies.”
Mythic got up and grinned. She let Lovey tug her out before calling, “See you all later! I’m being abducted by a filly.”
☼
Lovey Dovey and I sat at a table in the corner drinking our fizzy drinks. She was staring across the restaurant to where Mythic was seated next to a stallion. A mint green, shy, stallion named Mint Aloe. They’d hit it off immediately and hadn’t stopped talking for over two hours.
“How did you know?” I asked.
“The love line.”
“You keep saying that, but what is a love line?”
Lovey’s head tilted. “Well… it’s like… a string. It ties ponies together and I can see that. Nopony else seems to, though. My parents thought I was crazy but then I started following the lines more and introducing the ponies at both ends. Once they meet, it works out! I’ve made a couple hundred matches already.”
“A couple hundred! Seriously?”
She bobbed her head in a nod before sucking on her straw and draining the bright pink fizzy drink. Mine was kind of mediocre. We made them better at the Mare Contraire.
“So… these love lines. They’re like our one true love? Our fated lover?”
“Yes! No! I’m not totally sure! Some are stronger than others. Ponies don’t just have one. Sometimes you lose one and find another. They’re not all the same, either.”
Surely she wasn’t right, right? Then again, Mythic looked pretty happy, but that could be a fluke. It was all just infatuation brought on by a silly situation. Or maybe it wasn't… After some thought, I decided I was taking Lovey’s word that she’d made a ton of matches.
“Do I have love lines?” I asked without thinking.
Lovey giggled and wagged a hoof at me. “I can’t just tell you! My job is to find a pony at the other end. You’d have to be a client!”
My eyes narrowed. So that was the angle! Get everypony excited about it and then start charging. What if it was a setup? Perhaps this was a scam to trick me into paying. Wait… no, Mythic wouldn’t be in on that. “How much to be your client?”
“Are you looking to find your very special somepony?”
“Uh… not really.”
“Then you can’t be a client!”
“But how much is it? If I wanted to find my somepony.”
Lovey shrugged. “I dunno. Most ponies just give me bits when I find the other end of the love line. It isn’t about the bits, though! It is about love and romance. It is about making Equestria happier. If you aren’t sure you want to find your somepony, I can’t help you.”
“And if I’m not a client you won’t tell me if I have love lines?”
The filly giggled and shook her head. “You have love lines. Everypony that wants a somepony has love lines. Don’t worry about that.”
I had love lines! Me! Sunny Day had love lines! That was exciting! Where did they go? Who… no, calm down, Sunny, that isn’t what we want right now. We? Me! Casually, I waved a hoof. “I see. So you’re saying that as long as I want to end up with somepony, I’ll have love lines?”
“Yup!”
“And you can help me find whoever is at the other end?”
“Uh-huh!”
“And otherwise, I can pretty much just do whatever I like because in the end I’ll still have a love line?”
“Sure!”
That sounded almost too good to be true but I believed it. It was what I wanted to hear. “Where will you go now, then?”
“Back to Cloudsdale. I haven’t been home in like two weeks and my parents get kind of worried when I run off. This one was a long one but Mint Aloe was so lovesick. He’d waited long enough. Anyway, I should go. Nice to me you! Oh, uh, what was your name?”
“Sunny Day.”
“Great! Sunny Day. Cute name. Toodles!” She waved and then flew off through the door presumably on her way home.
Well, that was weird. I leaned back in my chair and kept an eye on Mythic. She wasn’t a guard. She was a civilian employee and a very good one. Mint had seemed nice enough but I still wanted to make sure this wasn’t some sort of horrible prank. I could spend an evening being a chaperone. Anything for love.
☼
My shift was over but my day was far from done. I lingered outside of the headquarters building waiting for my target. It wasn’t too long before the pony I was looking for came out: Sergeant Power.
The big grey earth pony stood on the lawn looking up at the big clock that stood there. When the hour pointer ticked to five he looked around and started tapping his hoof.
Opposite him, a bright yellow unicorn came galloping through the gate. He hurried his way over to the clock and slid to a stop. “I’m sorry I’m late!”
“Don’t be sorry, be on time! Punctuality is important, rookie,” the sergeant said.
“I’m sorry, Will! Really, I am. My horn got stuck in a door. It took me a while to get free.”
What? How was that even possible?
The earth pony’s brown tail flicked and he just shrugged. “Don’t get stuck in a door, then. Come on, we need to get started. The city won’t patrol itself.”
“Yup! You’ve got it, Sergeant. Let’s go.”
As the pair headed for the gate, I trotted after them. I quickly closed the gap and cleared my throat.
They came to a stop and turned. The grey earth pony immediately snapped to attention. The yellow unicorn, however, exclaimed with glee, “Miss Thunder!” before being prodded by his partner and snapping to attention. “I mean… I uh—“
“Lieutenant Thunder,” I replied.
“What can we do for you, ma’am?” the grey one asked.
“You’re Sergeant Power, correct?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“And you always get the rookie partners to show them the ropes and mold them into the guards the city needs?”
He stood a bit taller. “I like to think so, ma’am.”
“That is the word around HQ. I’m doing some research to see how you’re achieving that. I’ll be following you around and watching. Although I don’t want you to act any different because I’m here. Don’t think of me as an officer. Think of me as—“
“Miss Thunder!” the yellow unicorn squeaked.
“Sure… and what was your name?”
“Skippy, ma’am.”
Sergeant Power lightly cuffed the unicorn. “Your given name, boy.”
“Oh, right. Cyril Honeybun the Fifth. You know… like from the Honeybun Bakery? I go by Skippy, though.”
The Honeybun Bakery wasn’t really a bakery anymore. It was a whole chain of them. They were all over the city. I merely nodded. “Alright, pleased to meet you both. Sergeant, if you’ll do your thing, just forget I’m here… and forget the Miss Thunder thing. I did that for charity.”
“Aye, ma’am,” Sergeant Power replied before grabbing Skippy by the tail and pulling him towards the street. “Come on, let’s get you started. Tonight we’re going to focus on civilian outreach. We’re going to talk to everypony we can on our patrol and see what the neighborhood is like.”
“Okay!” Skippy replied before bouncing a bit.
I settled in behind them. There was no official research project, of course. This was personal. It was time I learned about how to actually be a guard on the street. I’d asked around in the headquarters building about who the best trainer was.
After the pony I was talking to picked up their jaw, they all said Sergeant Will Power. It was kind of funny that the calendar had helped me with this pursuit. I was somewhat of a celebrity right now. The new girl is always the shiniest.
That was all good and well. Plus, now I had a date every Friday and Saturday night for the next six months. If a pony asked, I said yes. If a pony asked Van Glorious and he said no, I’d chased them down and offered. That drove him nuts! Worth it.
Dating was for the weekend, though. For now, my evenings were going to be spent researching how to be an effective city guard. Whether Vice Colonel Wonder liked it or not, I would not be following in her hoofsteps.
A short one this week although it might become the new norm for Sunny. I simply don't have the hours I used to. Still, I didn't want to miss the date and I'm pretty happy with the result. I hope you enjoyed Lovey's antics!
If you are enjoying this story, please consider taking a look at Crystal and my's website QuillnBlade.com for extra content such as mini stories, an Ask Us form to submit questions, responses to said questions, and special rewards for the awesome folks who support our Patreon.
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I kinda really wanna hear the story behind this...
Buck yeah! Way to go Sunny!
*ahem* Okay, lemme back up a bit.
Freakin' Lovey. One of the best eccentric characters I've ever read, and it's always a pleasure to see her
poke her muzzle where it technically doesn't belongat work!Sgt. Will Power.
I'm so proud! Great name, whoever came up with it. Also Skippy, excitable, apparently accident-prone and possessing a penchant for blurting out whatever is on his mind. 
Cutie snootie. Also also, "Lieutenant July" is best response!!!
Back to what I praised earlier, Sunny is deffo using her brains here and I trust she'll apply herself now that she's motivated. Maybe she'll find that those pony problem-solving skills are actually fairly useful in de-escalating tough situations.
7143183 likewise
That got me hard. Funny cute chapter :)
7143275
Does the thought of fillies usually get you hard?
All the way Day huh?
Lovey is the best
And! This is how All The Way Day had started. Just to spite Van
Sergeant Will Power. Any chance his house is lit by green lanterns? And Sunny asking ponies out just to screw with Van? I approve wholeheartedly! Another great Sunny chapter and hilarious to see Lovey Dovey's interactions. Mythic and Aloe... oh, the very thought is adorable! Now to see how the whole 'becoming a real guard' truly works for Sunny! Hopefully well, because she definitely deserves to move up.
7143183 One of those magic locks you unlock by sticking your horn in the hole, maybe?
And finally we find the origin of Sunny's 'yes to all dates' policy. Great chapter as always :)
Someone needs to check the validity of this "charity"
I might be putting the noose around my neck when I say this, but I do not like Lovey. Almost every time she appears in a Q&B story I let out a sigh as my shoulders drop. I do not like her. I find obnoxious and nosy characters like that to just be annoying because, with the exception of her own story, Lovey has never really contributed anything of value to the over all story. The only reason she appears, so far that I can tell, is to for a cameo, reference, and "cutsiy flutsiy" purposes. I may be wrong, but until I see further evidence to the contrary, she continues to be a useless character. On top of that Day's handling of the situation was COMPLETELY wrong. You DO NOT let unauthorized civilians enter prohibited areas without a very good reason. I expect Lieutenant Day to be reprimed in some way.
Sorry that this comment has been so negative but this has been stewing since last chapter.
So, uhhhh... I'm not into guys, but I would totally ask Van Glorious out just for the chance to be rejected.
7143882
Not really. I've expressed some annoyance with Lovey as well. I even mentioned the hope that Magnate would tell her off at some point simply because her exuberance runs roughshod over others.
7143882 7143961
quillnblade.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/8/2016/04/loveyangry.png
7144032
...
that's just amusing!
7144103 thank you
7144032 Oh gosh! its like everything wrong in the universe the coalesced and hit ya because you lade Lovey mad lol
Its always funny to see how Lovey acts when she shows up, but its good that she does what she does. And Sunny now has abit of hope in her life, and her being proactive and getting out and learning on her own is always a good idea when you want to advance a career. it shows diciplin and dedication. I really liked this chapter. Also, I feel for the Mythic/Day ship some people probably had being sunk lol
7144297 You're welcome.
7143183 LOL people always want to know about the random side characters ;D He tripped and fell into a weak door!
7143202
You can thank our roster for Will Power. I was stoked by that.
Sunny is getting pretty clever. She's a move forward kind of gal and it shows. There was a lot of stuff for her this chapter :D
Also, you're terrible. I hope you know that. I still love you, but you're terrible.
7143275 Yeah that was a cute joke. I liked that one too :D
7143345 You know it!
7143348 Starting to move that way eh? Right now it seems to be "don't say no" Day!
7143352 Yes, it seemed like a fun way for her to get at Van. I'm really glad you liked it :D
7143734 Yes we do! Plus it ties in with the Lovey bit. "I can just..."
7143822 Hey now! They give the money to charity ;D
7143882 I'm fine with not liking her. Although I'd say in this case it is absolutely not fair to say she had no purpose. Her part actually mattered a lot!
7143961 Trying to get at Sunny eh?
7144359 Sunny is makin' the moves for sure. Smart pony!
7143202 I came up with it. Okay, I technically stole it from this guy (yes, that is apparently his real name, and I know of it because I'm a huge IndyCar fan and he's my favorite driver. I actually have his autograph) and I'm so happy to see him included in the story.
BTW:
lol. Lovey's at it again with her typical exuberance. I love it
7143183 me too. I can't imagine how you can get your horn stuck.
Is this just a cameo here for Loveydovey?
I like seeing how Sunny is maneuvering in her career.
7143961 What do you wanna bet Van starts getting a lot of ponies asking him out, just so they can have a crack at Sunny?
7144695 Her words and actions here might come to mean or cause something here, which is why I said
but I'm also quite certain she hasn't else where. With the exception of her own story because obvious things are obvious. I think she did something in Crystal Wishes but I can't be sure what she would have done and I don't even remember her showing up in Memoirs, Secrets, and especially anywhere in Trials. That is a key indicator. In a visual medium, like the MLP show itself, we can remember background character much more easily. This is because humans are a very visual species so we can notice things more often in a visual format. The show being... a show also allows these background characters to do things independently from the notice or perspective of the main cast or protagonists because they don't have to notice them for the characters to be noticed by the audience itself. In a written medium, that changes. The hall mark of a character that matters, whose actions matter, is that 1) they are shown in the writing, obviously, and 2) that these characters and their actions are remembered by the audience. While there are limitations to human attention span and memory retention an important indicator for how much a character's actions or existence matters is whether or not the audience retains that action or that character. While this isn't a perfect system by any means it's a good generalization. So how does this relate to Lovey? Simple. As I mentioned earlier, I simply don't remember any of Lovey's past actions in relation to the story. The only reason I remember her as a character is because I've read her original story. If I can't remember what she's done, it's likely not important. I could be completely wrong and Lovey could end the war between Equestria/Griffons and the other Griffons by pulling some sort of Romeo and Juliet manoeuvre the likes of which come straight out of a Greek comedy. However I am completely willing to admit to being wrong should that be the situation. On a more personal level I also feel like she trivializes love and relationships to "follow the line". Granted I've only ever had one girl friend and it is hinted that Lovey's special talent is something deeper but the concept still just rubs me the wrong way.
7145718
Well... she had to build up that six month backlog of dates somehow.
7145746
I don't know... Simplifies maybe, which I can see feeling somewhat similar. Dating sites, counselors, friends, over-helpful moms, etc. are all intended to assist in the process of finding "the one." Lovey just has a supernatural leg up in the finding department. Though, yes, it does feel like Lovey trivializes the process and I think the reason is twofold. One: she takes out so much of the guesswork normally incurred when filtering your prospects; and two: she, herself, is so flippant.
The thing is, Mythic and Mint would have had much the same interaction if they had met without Lovey. The problem is the "if." How likely, without Lovey or mass, interconnected media, would it have been for Mint and Mythic to encounter each other?
Though, listening to Lovey's and Crystal's (the author, not the... damnit, ummm... okay, I'll just have to hope you know which one I'm talking about) explanations, the Mythic/Mint thing is not a sure thing, nor the be-all-end-all. They're the best possibilities for each other at this particular moment. Given time and lack of action on this particular love line, the lines would change and Mint would be better suited with someone else. Heck, I bet Lovey finds several possibilities for each client, and what we're seeing is her having already analyzed her options and picked the one she feels is best.
7145858
Exactly. Lovey doesn't make ponies fall in love. She's the Equestrian equivalent to a dating site.
Yup
7145746 That's the thing though, you've already shown that your bias makes:
extremely unlikely. You felt she did nothing in this chapter when, without needing a future chapter, it is clear she impacted Sunny's life based on what we know of Sunny.
Thanks for the lecture on background characters! I learned a lot.
7146267 No problem. I'm perfectly willing to admit that this is all personal conjecture and not 100% fact.
I feel like that was karma for something.
That guard training in action!
Her cutie mark grows every time she makes a match? Now I'm wondering if adult Lovey is more mark than mare.
Ahh, so she's here for Mythic? So much for my theory about Sunny's CO.
Hah!
The system works!
Stop trying to cheat the system, Sunny!
That's an even worse form of cheating the system! At the very least, it's very procrastinatory.
This also feels like cheating, though a slightly different system this time.
I suppose if it's entirely on her off hours, maybe this won't go hooves up on Sunny.