Maud Pie is evil. Maud Pie is scarily hyper-competent. And Maud Pie has been plotting for years on how to take the Equestrian throne by conquest.
Fortunately for Equestria, she's still obsessed with rocks.
T rating is for a heavily sexually suggestive scene.
Cover art belongs to shrusxaiken, used with permission.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I see someone's been playing Yanvania: Senpai of the Night~
I'm a bit surprised Maud didn't ascend from eating the Elements.
I noticed the Symphony of the Night homage. Have you played Yandere Simulator?
Although I enjoyed this story, I'm not quite sure what to think of it. It defied my expectations, which is usually a good thing in my book. It lacks a catharsis, but it's so delightfully insane I can let it slide. The references were fun, "Mein Stein" included, but I can see it hurting some people's suspension of disbelief (probably the same people who get their knickers in a twist when the canon series does the same thing in a far more subtle way). It was never really established in-universe that Celestia would be no match for the Alicorn Amulet. Also, Maud didn't appear until after the Elements of Harmony had already been absorbed back into the tree from which they came, so it shouldn't be possible for her to eat them – amusing though that was.
I strongly suggest adding the Alternate Universe tag to this story.
So, TL;DR – Nice job.
6620430 Maud doesn't need wings and a horn. She's powerful enough as it is
.
She would have been the Element of Modesty (Maudyssey, Modesty? One of the puns that was probably too subtle)
6620326
My favourite part of it though has to be when Maud completes the second last line for Trixie, but it has an entirely different meaning as a result.
6620850 Actually, I didn't even hear about the Yandere Simulator until these two comments, but that just shows great minds think alike
6620850 Maud doesn't just have the Alicorn Amulet, of course. She also has crazy super-strength and secret martial art techniques. I do realise the whole problem with having the physical manifestation of the Elements again, but as I noted in my author notes, I ignored that since I wanted a scene where she literally eats the Elements (actually, I didn't even realise now but I had intended for them to make a stop at the Tree of Harmony again, and completely forgot to even throw in a line or two about them trekking there after visiting Celestia). Thanks for the comment otherwise.
6620248 That Star Wars scene actually ran a little bit longer than it did and was meant to be sort of a homage to the fact that Magic Duel was loaded with Star Wars references, but I tossed out the second half of it because there was no way Maud Pie, evil or not, would ever say a line about the Rock Side.
Also, Trixie and Maud? Maud is like, the perfect straight guy/mare for any comedy duet, and Trixie is her perfect complement.
And.. potentially unintentionally dark in the final bit there.
Have a like.
And that's how Ryouga Hibiki set into motion that events that brought Equestria to heel.
6652410 Ryoga gets lost so often that he just rolls with it when he's changed into a winged horse thingie and encounters a family who's obsessed with rocks. I briefly thought about actually including him in more than a cameo and decided against it. Someday, though. Someday.
6623121 Something I've been entertaining for a sequel to this is making the entire Pie clan a family of wacked-out superpowered ponies. Pinkie Pie has reality bending powers and yet she's the weakest of the four siblings, let alone her parents. Maud was merely the first of the remaining three siblings to make her strength known. Limestone Pie isn't as strong as Maud is, but still strong enough to shake the world in her own way.
Marble Pie? If she weren't a homesteader and so shy at using her strength, the very fabric of existence would bend to her will.
After I was done graveling over the crazy marble that is this story, I felt I could safely conclude that its igneous. Granite, there were a few rocky bumps, but overall, this story rocked.
6620430
Maybe she did, maybe she just didn't become an Alicorn.
Maybe her ascension is different, she has the power, the immortality, all that shit, but not the wings or horn.
Instead, there are now rocks on the bottom of her hooves, where there would be bone for any other hoofed being.
7959972
Those puns... Shut the fuck up and take all my money.
Eh.
I'm disappointed by this story. I was hoping for some comedy resulting from the ridiculous premise, but I didn't laugh once. The references to other works weren't funny on their own, and did nothing but detract from the story, but the sad thing is that I'm not sure if there is any other comedy in this story. I guess there's the initial concept, but the execution really did it no favors.
The world you built just couldn't support this sort of story. It felt like it lacked any rules, so there was no subversion of expectations. There were no jokes, or funny antics. I'd say that there was no wordplay, but there was that... pun? at the end. Which I guess is funny because her book sounds kind of like Hitler's book? And that's funny for some reason?
Sorry for the unfavorable review, but one can be honest, or one can be gneiss.
Oh my gosh... so many references to so many things...
I didn't like the rock-eating... ecstasy... thing... though not that it was poorly done; I'm just not into that sort of thing with ponies. I don't judge... much.
All in all, very funny, and I laughed all the way though.
A small thing, but I doubt this is a permanent end to the elements of harmony. They've been smashed by Nightmare Moon, and loosing the pretty rocks just resulted in the mane 6 getting rainbow powers one season finale later.
Anyway, amusing story, although it does get a bit off at times.