The Personal Files of Dr. Mindwell

by rillegas08

08: Trixie Lulamoon, Session 13, Attachment Theory

I was in a session with Hughbert Jelluis when I caught some movement at the window in the corner of my eye. I glanced over, and saw what appeared to be the tip of a horn and a silver-ish mane drop below the sill. I excused myself, got out of my chair, and walked over to the door. Opening it, I took a look to one side and saw what I'd suspected: Trixie Lulamoon, showpony extraordinaire, was standing to the side of the window. She must have crouched down low to move away from the window after I'd noticed her.

"How long have you been there, Miss Lulamoon?"

"The Great and Powerful Trrrixie!... was here less than a minute," she said.

"Miss Lulamoon, I told you two weeks ago that I moving away to begin my own practice elsewhere."

"You said you'd be in Canterlot. I went there, but nopony knew where you were. Eventually somepony sent me a message from Princess Celestia that you'd come here."

"I left you in good hooves, Miss Lulamoon."

"But he's not as good as you are, Doctor!"

I put my hoof to my head. "Regardless, Miss Lulamoon, I'm with another client. Is this urgent?"

"Of course it is. The Great and Powerful Trixie hasn't had help for weeks!"

"Very well then. I have an open slot in my schedule in two hours, so you'll have to come back then. Until then, stay out of trouble, all right?" She agreed, and I returned inside to Mr. Jellius.

Before Miss Lulamoon returned to my office that day, I went upstairs to my bedroom, where I still had two boxes I hadn't opened from the move. One of them was a box filled with my notes from my classes; the other was filled with notes and files about the clients I'd helped treat in Manehattan. I had a feeling in my gut that I may need to read the notes I'd taken with her before she came in for her session.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Trixie Lulamoon, Session 1

Today is another step forward for my career: Dr. Gestalt is allowing me to take on a client without his guidance. He has told me several times that he was pleased with how well I was already doing.

I took a look at the file he had given me earlier as he told me that she had come in not long ago looking for some help. Because she was a new client, the file was unsurprisingly thin, a single sheet of paper with her name and contact information on it. Or at least what I assumed to be her contact information; all that was listed was "Residence: wagon, doubles as a performance stage, travels across Equestria". It had a picture clipped next to it showing a yellow cart with a red roof. It looked plain.

Name: Trixie Lulamoon, aka The Great and Powerful Trixie

Sex: Female

Race: Unicorn

Occupation: Showpony

Residence: wagon, doubles as performance stage, travels across Equestria

Surely this Trixie had a town that she considered a home base? I found it hard to believe that anypony could be comfortable technically being homeless.

"Good morning, Trixie," I said as I introduced myself to her when she entered. She was a blue unicorn mare with a silver-ish mane and tail. Her mane included a little curl at the front. Her outfit was a flashy purple cape and hat, decorated with stars to catch the eye. The cape itself was latched with a rather large gem. "I'm Dr. Mindwell."

"The Great and Powerful Trixie thought she was meeting with Dr. Gestalt." Apparently she thought she would be meeting with the one who had taken down her information.

And she is... no, not is. I usually don't have trouble keeping my thoughts subjective. She seems to be pretentious, referring to herself in the third person like that. When I first learned that she liked to refer to herself as The Great and Powerful Trixie, I thought it was just her stage name, not something she called herself often. We may have to work on her pride and humility.

"He decided to let me handle your case. He's in high demand here in Manehattan, so I'm sure you understand."

"Yes, I have been known to be in high demand myself from time to time." Her tone of voice indicated that her humble words were laced with sarcasm. I led her into my office.

"All right, Trixie, why don't you tell me a bit about yourself?"

She talked about growing up in Hoofington, and moving to Canterlot as a filly to enroll in Celestia's school for unicorns. She talked briefly about her cutie mark, and how she'd gotten it while performing the Fire of Friendship spell for a version of the Hearth's Warming play put on by the fillies and colts of her class. After that, she stopped focusing so much on her studies and focused more on show business and the spells she could use to enhance the entertainment value. All the while, I listened and took my notes.

"It sounds like you've led an interesting life so far," I said.

"To say the least."

"Why are you looking for help?"

She removed her hat and her cape, folding them and putting them on the sofa next to her. I saw an expression on her face that appeared to be a combination of anger and sadness. "I used to bring in plenty of bits at my shows before I decided to perform in Ponyville. The Great and Powerful Trixie's reputation was ruined! And the last few shows I've had, I've barely been able to earn enough bits to pay my expenses."

It seemed like now was as good a time as any to work on her pride.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Trixie Lulamoon, Session 3

By our third session together, she'd grown accustomed to meeting with me. She had become comfortable enough with the therapy environment that she was able to let herself drop her boastful act and be her true self in my office.

"I'm afraid I can't come back, Doctor," she said to me near the end of the session. "I'm nearly out of bits, and I haven't been able to bring in enough from my show to do much of anything."

"I understand, Trixie. Have you thought of other means of earning an income?"

"I don't see how I can, if nopony wants to see my show."

"Then it may be time to set show business aside momentarily until you can earn enough bits -- and perhaps work on a few more spells -- to be able to afford to perform a new routine."

"But show business is all I know!"

"I realize that, Trixie. I'm not saying to give it up, just suggesting that you take some time off to work on a new act, and work for bits elsewhere while you do so. I'm sure somepony could hire your help with something they can't do."

"I see what you mean. Except for that last part. I've boasted before that anything somepony can do I can do better but... well, a certain unicorn proved me wrong."

"If I recall correctly, though, you were able to be better than three other ponies in town."

"Yes, I was. The pegasus was bragging about being fast, and I could never be as fast as her, but I did slow her down. The earth pony knew some tricks with a rope, but I knew some too and hogtied her. The unicorn was vain. Getting the better of her was as easy as messing up her mane a little."

When she'd first told me about the mentioned incidents, I suggested she apologize to them the next time she saw them, but she scoffed. That was the first session, however, when she still kept up her persona in my office. Perhaps now that she was more comfortable being honest she might have a different reaction. "I still believe you should apologize to them."

"I know. But what could I do?"

"Well, Trixie, you have a horn. I'm sure there are some earth pony farmers )or something like that) somewhere who would appreciate the extra helping hoof moving things around. And the helping horn."

"The Great and Powerful Trixie does not do manual labor!" She'd unintentionally slipped back into her persona.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie might not, but you're going to have to if you want to keep doing show business."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Trixie Lulamoon, Session 4

"I need to see Dr. Mindwell as soon as possible!" I heard the voice of a familiar blue unicorn in the lobby outside, one I hadn't heard in several months. I was just sorting some files when she came in, and went out to meet her. Dr. Gestalt was at the desk, looking through my schedule to find a time that would work.

"I've got some spare time now, Doctor. Come inside, Miss Lulamoon." I led her into my office, where she sat down on the sofa as usual. "What's going on?"

"I did something I now regret doing, Doctor." She told me about the trouble she'd had since our last session, and about the job she'd found working on a rock farm in the southwest of Equestria, and how she'd tried performing a couple new shows, but to no avail. She said how she'd gotten desperate, and spent most of her bits in a Canterlot shop on a very powerful magical artifact called the Alicorn Amulet. She'd heard how it increases a unicorn's powers, but realized that once she'd put it on it not only enhanced her magic but basically took control of her, telling her what to do and she doing it without questioning.

"I'm done with that trinket forever now. I still don't like what it made me do."

I asked what happened next, and she told me about her return to Ponyville, and her attempt to take over the town with the amulet. She also mentioned how she had been tricked into taking it off, thinking a normal jeweled necklace had power greater than the Alicorn Amulet. She mentioned that she'd been more humble to them after that, explaining what she'd just told me, and they forgave her.

"After all I did to them, they forgave me. They're either the most naive ponies in Equestria, forgiving somepony who'd done nothing but try to hurt them, or the most wise. Anyway, I knew I had to come see you again to make sure that the effects of the Alicorn Amulet's possession (for lack of a better term) aren't permanent. And if I'm being perfectly honest, I think this happened because I wasn't getting help. You helped me a little before, but I reverted back to my old ways after not getting help for so long. Doctor, I need your help!"

She'd come such a long way with her pride, at least when talking to me. Frankly, that little bit was all that was needed for me to work my magic, as it were.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Trixie Lulamoon, Session 12

Well, this was it. I've graduated with my doctorate in counseling from Manehattan University, and Miss Lulamoon is my last client here. I received a letter from Princess Celestia herself, telling me that a new office has already been prepared for me. I'm going to Canterlot! I've had many good times in this office, and I'll surely have some good times in my new office.

"What?!" Miss Lulamoon could be quite loud when she wanted to be, or when she reacted too quickly. I rubbed my ears with my hooves.

"Yes, Miss Lulamoon, it's true," I answered. "I'm transferring to Canterlot. This is a big opportunity for me, bigger than I could have imagined I'd have at this point."

"But what'll I do when you're gone?"

"You'll be in very capable hooves. I've talked to Dr. Gestalt, and he's agreed to continue your therapy in my stead."

"But he doesn't know me the way you do!"

"I realize that, Miss Lulamoon, but that's unavoidable in a transition like this. He'll have access to copies of the notes I've taken during all my sessions, so it shouldn't be too long before he knows you about as well as I do." She had a pained look in her eyes, although I couldn't pin down exactly what I was seeing, though for some reason it seemed betrayal was among them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I heard the sound of a crack downstairs and set my notes aside to see what it was. As I descended, I saw Miss Lulamoon inside, just at the doorway. She was breathing heavily, and looked a little tired. I helped her over to the sofa, where she laid down.

"Miss Lulamoon, what happened?" I asked, then remembered to be more professional. Odd, isn't it, that in some crises you forget your training and instinctively go to helping those in need.

"Please forgive the intrusion, Doctor. I've only been to Ponyville twice, and the ponies here don't exactly have a very positive view of me. As I'm sure you remember from our previous sessions." I did remember, not in the least due to the fact that I'd reread my notes from our sessions earlier. I was sure that Miss Sparkle and her friends didn't hold anything against her, but the other citizens might not be as forgiving, not having as much experience with her as them. Or as myself, for that matter. "I teleported in here from across the road. Phew, Twilight makes it look easy, but it's really quite difficult."

"Describe the events that led up to your arrival here from the last time we spoke."

She told me how she spent the first week trying to convince herself that Dr. Gestalt would be a suitable replacement. The week was filled with cycles of confidence, doubt, and reassurance, but on the day of what would be her next session, she had her doubts. She went into the session, believing Dr. Gestalt would be able to help rid her of these doubts.

"It didn't go well, needless to say," she said. "He said he was interested in getting to know who I am, not who I was. I thought he meant the pony I've been since the amulet incident. Did you know he barely read the files you left for him? It was like starting all over again."

Oh yes. I'd almost forgotten about that particular aspect of the type of psychotherapy for which Dr. Gestalt is named: the focus on learning about an individual's functioning and relationships in the here and now, rather than the investigation of past events. Since I was no longer Miss Lulamoon's therapist, Dr. Gestalt must have assumed that I was no longer a factor in her life.

"So after that first and last session with Dr. Gestalt, I packed up my wagon and made my way to Canterlot. I asked around, but nopony knew you, except for your family. They'd heard I was asking about you, and said that they'd seen you a few days before. It wasn't long after that that a messenger pony from the castle came with a letter for me. Apparently Princess Celestia knew where you'd gone, and that I was asking around, because she told me she'd sent you to Ponyville. I thought you said you were going to Canterlot?"

I explained my misunderstanding with the letter.

"I was afraid to come back here," she said, her ears flattening slightly. You know what I've done in this town. I've been responsible for an Ursa Minor rampaging through. Two young colts lured it here, but it was my boasting that made them want to do it. I terrorized and enslaved them when I was under the amulet's influence. I couldn't just waltz in here. That's why I was hiding earlier."

Yes, I knew all the details, or at least the important ones, about what had happened each time she'd come here. She had left Manehattan, left the therapist I'd decided to let help her, and come to the town that had the most reason to be hostile toward her just so she could have the help she needed. I repeated to her these thoughts. "I will be staying here, likely for a long time. Would it be fair to assume you'll want our regular weekly session?" I asked, to which she nodded. "Then it may be time to start making amends. Since Miss Sparkle and her friends have forgiven you, I have little doubt that many ponies in this town will also forgive you. I do not believe it to be naivete, rather from what I've seen of the citizens of Ponyville so far, it seems most of them desire to be as good a pony as they can be, and giving somepony multiple chances for forgiveness is one way to do so.

"Like always, however, you need to do so at the pace you find most comfortable. Only when you're ready. You were not ready for me to end our sessions, and I didn't realize that two weeks ago. I reread my notes from our sessions, and at our last one I noticed something I didn't realize I'd missed. I'd seen a look in your eyes when I told you I was leaving, and it was akin to betrayal. I left you when you still needed the help only I could give you, and for that I apologize."

Miss Lulamoon wiped her eyes with her hoof, a smile on her face. "Thank you," she said, her voice starting to break. "I... I think I understand the forgiveness Twilight and her friends gave me a little more now. It's not so bad."

I smiled. Who knew that after I started anew, I'd have something familiar. In a way, I knew it was the right thing to leave her like that, otherwise neither of us would have learned what we did in the past two weeks. Already, Ponyville was quickly becoming home.

Author's Note:

Do ponies use the terms "first", "second", and "third person"? What would even be the pony equivalent?