Feeling Cooler

by Storm Shine

Well.. This was unexpected

The ponies behind me put on a brave front as we stared at the pods. Though they flinched slightly when a gloved hand burst from the smoke of the lead pod, gripping at the edge. I shifted slightly, staying relaxed but on guard for whatever might come out of the pods. We watched with baited breaths as the first Saiyan stepped out of the... Wait a minute..

"Lord Cooler!" A blue-skinned humanoid exclaimed in surprise and awe. "You're alive!"

I raised an eyebrow (or what would have been an eyebrow, when I was human) in surprise, not wanting to show just how much I was freaking out internally. This guy is supposed to be dead! He was Cooler's Right-hand man, he'll figure me out for sure.. "Salza, you're looking well."

"Lord Cooler?" Some of the ponies questioned behind me, looking at each other in confusion.

"Pffthahaha!" Rainbow Dash laughed, recovering from the shock first. "This is what you had us worried about? Some thing with a prench accent and lopsided hair?"

"How dare you!" Salza said angrily, not raising his voice but very easily getting his point across by how he was now holding the pony off the ground by her throat. "You will not speak in Lord Cooler's presence unles-"

"That's enough Salza, put her down." I said in a chilled tone, interrupting his monologue.

"At once Lord Cooler!" He responded, dropping the Pegasus to the ground and snapping a salute. He ignored the small equine gasping for air next to him and the others worriedly making her that she was okay. "But, ah.. Sir, if you don't mind my aski-"

Salza was once again interrupted, this time by a green giant. "Finally we landed, those stupid pods are so small!" A large, almost orcish man with long spiky black hair complained, finally squeezing himself out of the pod to the left. "Why did we have to use them again?"

"Idiot, you know why!" What seemed to be a human with long spiky black hair insulted him. "It was the best way to get onto the planet without drawing too much attention, and besides.." He huffed, "It was the only transportation we could find on such short notice.

"Don't call me an idiot you Monkey, I'll grind you to a pulp!" The green giant growled back menacingly.

"Dore! Raditz! That's enough, Now's not the time for your bickering!" Salza shouted at the two.

"Feh! I don't take orders from the likes of you!" Raditz replied arrogantly, "I am a saiyan warrior!"

"How rude." I comment, drawing his attention to me. Taking a step forward, I notice him pale quite a bit. "Perhaps I need to teach you some manners?" I asked coldly, with a confidence I definitely didn't feel. But if I want to have any chance of controlling this situation and keeping problems to a minimum, I need to act the part.

"F-frieza?" Raditz stammered at first, before taking another look at me. "N..no... You're.."

"I am not my brother." I say. That sentence feels odd, given that I am- was- an only child. "You would do well to remember that."

"O-of course... Lord Cooler.." The saiyan agreed, begrudgingly swallowing his pride.

"Where is Neiz?" I asked curiously.

"He must have flown slightly off-course Lord Cooler." Salza answered immediately, stepping right into his role as Cooler's right-hand man.

"I see.." I glanced around thoughtfully. Unfortunately while I was planning on staying around here to get my bearings (And have Twilight help me track my friends down), it looks like that's no longer an option.. With Salza having choked and quite possibly almost killed one of the ponies, they will be very weary of us all now. Not to mention the fact that Raditz is here.

Maybe if it was Niez I wouldn't have to worry as much, Cooler's Armored Squadron seemed to be unquestioningly loyal to Cooler, but Raditz had a penchant for destruction and violence, not to mention an arrogance that was completely unfit for his level of strength. And if it came down to a fight.. I'm not entirely sure that I would win. I may be Cooler now, and I know a bit of martial arts, but I've never fought in this body and I don't know my full capabilities or limits... In a serious fight that could cost me my life.

Weighing my options, I made my decision just as Rainbow was opening her mouth to yell, "Hey, what's the big idea!" She flew over and got into Salza's face. "You can't just-"

"Come. We're leaving." I said as I turned and floated into the air, moving away from 'Ponyville'.

"Of course Lord Cooler!" two of the visitors immediately exclaimed, floating up to join me. The third grumbled a bit, but followed all the same.

"Hey!" Pinkie shouted, "Wait, you can't leave! We haven't even had your 'Welcome to Ponyville and the Planet' party yet!!"

"Yeah, get back here so I can kick your flanks!" Rainbow Dash challenged, putting her hooves up like a boxer and throwing a few punches.

"Hmm... We can't leave yet." I realized aloud.

"Sir?" Salza asked, surprised. "What do you mean?"

"The ships." I said, starting to get somewhat used to my role. Just gotta act cold and somewhat disinterested, I can play off the protection of the ponies as not wanting to bother with small fry or something, maybe say that I'm curious about this planet. "We can't simply leave them there, take care of it."

"Of course Lord Cooler!" The blue skinned leader of Cooler's Squadron (Yeah, I shortened it. It's technically my squad now, I could call it CAS if I wanted to.) pressed a button on a remote, causing the pods to launch themselves into the sky and out of sight.

Without further ado the four of us then disappeared from the naked eye, flying away at speeds that couldn't be tracked by normal creatures or methods- at least, it seemed unlikely for this planet.

---

Far away from Ponyville, above a rocky wasteland where the only noticeable landmarks were numerous volcanoes, rocky cliffs, and other rock formations, we reappeared.

"Hmm... This seems like a good place to set down." I declared while looking at a cave set into the side of a nearby volcano, the sheer drop and sharp rock formations all but assured that only aerial creatures would be able to reach it.

"Set down?" Salza questioned hesitantly. "I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean sir."

"What I mean is that we will be staying here for a while." I replied, glancing at the Cooler Squadron's leader. "I find this planet intriguing, for reasons that are my own."

"Of course sir." Salza replied dutifully.

"You mean we have to stay on this ridiculous planet?" Raditz demanded angrily.

"If that's a problem for you, I could always remove you from it." I replied with a carefully blank face, raising a hand where an energy ball bloomed into existence.

Raditz flinched, remembering who he was talking to. "N-no Lord Cooler, it won't be a problem."

"Good." I replied, crushing the energy in a fist. "Besides, we still need to locate Neiz. I would rather have my entire squadron, seeing as good soldiers are so hard to find." Not that I really considered him to be a good soldier... Or a powerful one. But it seems like a good enough excuse to forestall any further questions or complaints. "Come, let's take a look at what space is available to us."

I vaguely heard some hushed comments as I descended, touching down on the ledge with the cave. "I know Lord Cooler likes wastelands, but really? Did he have to pick a cave in the middle of a volcanic wasteland?"

"Unless you happen to have my ship handy instead.." I said in a slightly raised voice, just enough to let Dore know that I'd heard that comment. "I suggest you either voice a better idea or keep it to yourself."

"Y-yes Lord Cooler!" I heard from behind me.

"Idiot.." Raditz insulted the less than jolly green giant.

"WHO DARES TO TRESSPASS INTO MY HOME!?" A loud voice roared, a fire bursting into existence onto the cave floor. We all looked up to see a massive orange dragon, dwarfing all of us in sheer size, crouching over a large pile of gold and other (Obviously valuable) objects.

"W-what?" Raditz exclaimed in shock, "A-a dragon! You there, grant me immortality!" He wished, quickly getting over his shock.

I put a hand to my face in exasperation and no small amount of annoyance, "That is not Shenron, Raditz. You cannot simply wish upon any dragon-like creature you come across and expect it to work." I then looked up at the dragon, raising my arms slightly in a gesture of peace. "We didn't know that this cave was occupied and we will gladly leave."

"Are you sure sir? I bet we could take this overgrown lizard." Dore suggested eagerly, punching his fist into his palm.

"Tch. I doubt that it would be worth the effort to show this thing just how far below a Saiyan it is.." Raditz grinned, "But it could be fun."

"INSULTING ME IN MY OWN HOME!? BURN FOR YOUR INSOLENCE!!" The dragon roared once more, bathing all four of us, and even the entire cave, in an inferno large and violent enough to cause a gout of fire to escape the entrance.

Comments

[Junkoposter]

noice

[Finalmagnus]

MORE CHAPTERS!!!!!

[heret]

"W-what?" Raditz exclaimed in shock, "A-a dragon! You there, grant me immortality!" He wished, quickly getting over his shock.

so... how dos Raditz know about Shenron?

[Storm Shine]

8734417
Well he knew about the dragon balls - Though considering he's also supposed to be dead canonically, I didn't really think stretching his Canon knowledge a little would be too terrible. Even so, maybe he would have heard about it in Hell in the canon storyline, who knows?
I just thought it would be funny to put that in.

[Cauchemar]

8734417
It’s probably not the canon Raditz.

[Finalmagnus]

Cooler should give Raditz wedgie.

[Mr Swanky Hat]

Welp, they are dead, good story

[ChronoMitsurugi]

8734538
Supposedly the planet trade federation knew of the legend of the dragon balls of namek, but didn't believe it more than a fairy tale. Vegeta even recognized Piccolo as a namekian.
Raditz could easily know the legend.

[Macdaverin]

When's the new chapter?

[Arcane Spectrum]

This seems interesting, hope it isn't dead