Twelve Wasteland Days of Hearth's Warming

by PrinceUniversa

The Sixth Day: Ensuing Randomness

The Sixth Day

Well that was a fun day of just games today… After that show with the four of us killing zombies left and right and then dying because we ended up being overwhelmed which is not a surprise given the number of zombies swarming the map. So today is the sixth day and… oh dear, I seemed to be running out of ideas right now. Well damn, this could be a problem…

Oh well, maybe I might get an idea during the day, who knows? Right now it looks like everyone is already awake (How is the question) and doing random things today. Randomness eh? Well, might as well let the camera that follows me focus on another today. I’m a bit beat today. I wonder who will be the first pony here the camera will decide to follow…

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Never thought to be using Spike’s bathroom again and… Oh great, it’s this camera again. I really hoped that Zodiac somehow managed to delete those videos of me having sex with Glory… or as far enough as Stygius? I had to shudder there, nope not wanting that. Hey camera! You hear me?! You better not spread those videos of me and… whoever else I had some fun with!

I had to suddenly pause at my words. That’s never a good thing for me considering I only pause whenever I saw or remember something really bad. I felt my eyes widened after a startling realization involving the camera. Oh Goddesses, no way… don’t tell me you recorded the time where I had a threesome with Homage, Littlepip, and Glory… or worse yet, the time where all of us mares went to… um, have our with fun with Zodiac! No wait, bad choice of words!

You fucking did record it?! Oh hell no am I not allowing you to spread that video out to everyone! I am not getting my own brain to break down on me again after I saw Glory and Homage of all ponies kiss each other in front of me! Get over here you piece of floating trash! Don’t you dare run from me you sex recorder! Wait that sounded terrible! Bah, forget it! Come back here you hunk of junk!

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“You sure about all of this Epsilon? I mean you are helping me cook here, not cause a bit of chaos enough to rival Discord here.” My brother is really great but sometimes he can get over himself when he wishes to help me, not that I’m complaining. I love my brother all the same and no, not enough to the point where I would go through intercourse with him. Incest really? I’m wondering who in the right mind would do such a thing (Oh wait, forget that question).

“Oh sure, what makes you…” He went silent. That’s normally not a good thing when my brother does that. However, “Why is there a camera watching the two of us?” That was not what I had in mind as I turned to see the supposed camera in question. Sure enough, there it is, but why us? And why is Blackjack running towards… Oh Goddesses… My brother beat me to what I was going to say to our running cyber-mare, “No Blackjack, don…!” He couldn’t finish the sentence as she tackled the two of us down. I’m wondering why she tackled us down instead of questioning the point of why we were being tackled in the first place.

No sooner did my question popped up did she answer it in the most bizarre yet understandable notion to an extent, “Where’s that camera?! I want to get my hooves on the damn…” I saw eyes looking at the camera that now followed us instead of her, “Aw come on! You’ve got to be kidding me!”

I was still struggling to get out of under her and of course, I did the most logical thing that my mind could conjure up, asking her, “Um… Blackjack, could you get off of me and Epsilon please? I’m a little squished here and I need to... breathe!” To my surprise, I was having trouble breathing here.

She saw the two of us and sheepishly got off quickly. I was taking deep breaths from my supposed suffocation. Goodness, do I not wish to face my fate by loss of oxygen please. I was expecting Epsilon to begin scolding right then and there but nope, it never came. Instead he’s talking to Blackjack as to what the camera recorded that’s making her go crazy. At times, my brother can still surprise me with his quick thinking, “So what did this camera record when it was following you? I’m assuming that it’s something involving you having intercourse with multiple sources?”

I saw Blackjack looking at him in abject shock. What, did she really think we wouldn’t catch on to her or something? Then again both Homage and Littlepip go through this as well so who knows. Wait, what am I saying? Of course we would catch on to her anyway. I just remembered that in her Stable, they treat sex like it was the most normal thing ever. Heck, even Scotch who is just a filly treats it like it was a normal thing. Now that’s something you don’t ever see or hear from somepony so young, “H-How’d you know about that?!”

“I didn’t, I just made an educated yet somewhat ridiculous guess to me at least. I didn’t think I actually would be right…” To be honest, I’m not surprised as well. I would have made that guess as well if only the ponies in question were known to be those kinds of mares like Littlepip (although she was not that at first, I think?). Blackjack and her companions are a different category all on their own.

I picked myself up and looked at where the camera… was supposedly there at first, “Um, the camera’s gone you two…” I looked towards Blackjack whose expression definitely spoke Oh crap as the camera was nowhere in our line of sight. Actually, now that I think about it, I wonder who it decided to record now. Hope it’s not in a middle of witnessing something embarrassing. The poor people who would watch it and the victims of said camera’s attention. Oh wait, I don’t think the people watching us would be bothered now right? All of us on the other hoof? Eeyup, we’d be embarrassed for a long time like our poor cyber-mare here.

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Why did I sign up with Homage to learn how to cook? Well, at least Calamity and Velvet are helping us too and Aura is supervising us but why do I have to learn how to cook? According to all four (Why did they have to gang up on me?), I needed to learn because there might be a time where I will have to cook my own food. That’s kind of true except I’m a terrible cook, “Littlepip, I don’t think it works like that…”

And today, life after the Gardens just wants to seemingly make fun of me right now. I was thinking too much that I didn’t pay attention to my cooking. So as a result, the steam that originally was white was now a charcoal black. Great, I burnt my own food. Apparently, that got a chuckle out of Aura, “Hey, it’s okay Littlepip, you’re not the only one. Did you know that Sweetie Belle was a terrible cook as well once?” That somehow got all our attention as we looked at our kirin friend in confusion. She chuckled again as she continued, “I’m serious, one time during her youth, she was so terrible, she somehow ended up burning the orange juice!”

That managed to get a few words out of Velvet and she is very confused, “How does she manage to burn orange juice of all things? It’s a liquid right? I don’t see how that’s possible.” I have to agree, the idea of burnt orange juice is so bizarre yet… I can’t help but chuckle at the idea.

Apparently our kirin friend was confused too as she shrugged her shoulders, “I have no idea! You’d have to ask her about it and I doubt you can now!” That is true in the long shot but I wonder if Sweetie Belle ever got the chance to write those things in a journal or diary of her own? I wouldn’t be surprised if that were to be the case.

“Also why is there a camera watching us?” Huh? All of us followed her gaze and sure enough, there was a floating camera watching us. Not a sprite-bot but a literal floating camera. There’s not even a sign of magic at work here if it somehow being afloat without a sign of a magical aura said anything. When was there a floating camera in the first place?

Calamity was interested that’s for certain as he flew up and looked at it. Now the camera focused its sights on my curious friend instead of us which makes me wonder about whom it specifically was paying attention too, “Huh, would ya look at that? Now it’s focused on me ‘ere. Ah wonder why?”

I wasn’t the only one who shrugged, Aura shrugged with me as well. Velvet on the other hoof answered in a way that I had to look at her twice just to be certain I heard that right, “Maybe they like you more so than the rest of us? That or something weird I can’t explain.” Coincidently, now the camera focused on Velvet instead of my trigger-happy friend. That made her back away in worry and confusion, “Um… why is it focused on me now?”

I had to stifle a laugh there but I was confused as well admittedly. The camera looked at Velvet for some time making me question why. Then a voice broke me out of my reverie and it’s a voice I wished to not hear today, “Hello you three! Been wondering where you guys are!” Sweet merciful Celestia, don’t let this camera record something embarrassing please. Homage was just within my peripheral vision as she entered, “So what were you three doing?” A sound of someone clearing their throat was made. Homage turned around and saw Aura doing said sound to catch her attention, “Oh, sorry Aura, didn’t see you there.”

The kirin just smiled, “No worries, you’re fine.” I noticed her index finger (I think that’s what’s it‘s called) pointing upwards towards somewhere. Initially, I was reluctant but curiosity got the better of me and I looked at the direction of its point. To my surprise, the camera was not there anymore. While I’m a bit elated that it’s not there anymore, I wonder what happened to the camera? I looked towards Aura who just winked at me. I guess that’s her way of saying that I’m saved for now. That’s a good thing.

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Oh! Hi there floating camera! So who are you watching?! I hope it’s me, please tell me its little Puppy here! It is? Yay! Oh I get to have so much with everyone watching me, yay! I am so happy; I’m bouncing around in circles! Unbeknownst to her, everyone who was watching her was having a heart attack of sorts thanks to her innocent adorableness including the poor author. Oh look! Henry is coming this way! I’m so excited! “Puppy, who are you talking to right now?”

I was pointing at you Mister Camera in my excitement, “I’m talking with Mister Camera here and people who are watching me Henry!” I saw my friend looking at it in confusion. Why are you confused? Please tell me why Henry!

“Oh so there are people watching us huh? Hello? Do you all mind going away from this little kid? Or do you all want a heart attack with Puppy here?” Why do you want Mister Camera to leave me Henry? That is not fair… Wah! Again, the poor people who were watching this had another heart attack. Yeesh, I think we need to find a new designation before all of you die of another one.

“No wait, please don’t leave me! I only got to see you once!” Sorry kiddo, but the people here are dying from your cuteness; I need to move to a new pony here. I did enjoy being around you if that helps a little Puppy, “Really? Yay! I’m so happy!” There she goes hopping around in excitement again and… everyone died of a heart attack again. Great, I think I might make her the second pony to be a literal weaponized cuteness next to Fluttershy. Okay, I take that back, any filly and colt or those adorable baby ponies’ counts as weaponized cuteness. On to the next target, see you Puppy, “Bye Mister Camera!”

Okay I swear, she’s Pinkie Pie reincarnated in a filly body right now, “No she isn’t silly! There’s only one room for Pinkie Pie here! She just copies my style because of how young she is!” What the heck? How did you get here? I thought you were already in the afterlife Pinkie! “Silly, I’ll always be around to cheer people up in secret! But don’t tell anyone about it mister! It’s a secret!” Uh right... Well, I’m going to a new pony before things get crazy to the point I might crash my own servos. Bye everybody!

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Me and Unity alongside other ponies gathered here were watching a competition of sorts between Brim and Xenith. They said that they were doing this for fun which I was fine with but how can you have fun with a fight? Not that I should be complaining considering I’m not a fighter anyway. I felt Unity poking me for my attention during the fight, “Yes? Is there something you need?”

While it caused to make a slight chuckle, she mostly pointed to what was behind me. I turned around and… saw a floating camera watching us and maybe the fight? Her question mirrored my thoughts about it, “Why is there a floating camera here?”

I was about to answer but apparently the camera found the fight behind us more interesting as it raised itself a bit to see the fight. Well, no complaints from me there. The two of us just looked at each other and shrugged and turned around as we watched the fight. I did notice that people were betting who was going t make it out of this. Guess even after all of what’s happened, people would still bet albeit on good terms.

I saw Zodiac popping up via a teleport and was flying as well to get a bird’s eye view of the fight. I guess he liked there being a fun brawl and watching it? I don’t know the guy well enough to think why he was watching but who knows? There’s not much of me I can compare. To my surprise, I think everyone saw the camera in question. The fighting stopped for the moment and everyone’s gaze was upon the floating contraption. I wonder what was going to happen…

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Oh dear… everyone is looking at the floating camera. I was just above it as it was watching the fight. I was beginning to wonder what was going to happen now that everyone saw as seconds become minutes (at least to me) pass by with everyone watching the camera. I was kind of tempting to take away the camera and let this day continue on but that all went down the drain when a certain mare came out and screamed, “Come back here you piece of junk!”

Said mare being Blackjack, tackled the thing and proceeded to try to dismantle the thing. Of course, it was much sturdier than expected and managed to survive all the hits being dished out on it. Others saw an opportunity to test their strength and well, proceeded to do as expected. What was once a fight to test their mettle was now a camera abuse situation? I will never understand today now.