Death Be Not Proud

by ShinigamiDad

Horse Trading

Luna and Reaper walked for two hours, bending slowly to the southwest, then south, still following the stream through a series of small woods and copses, broken by meadows, which were growing lusher and wetter as they progressed.

“I’m getting a little concerned,” Reaper said, picking his way through a boggy patch. “I hope we’re not heading into a swamp or fen.”

“And I hope we are not being followed,” Luna added, glancing behind her.

“Why do you think that?”

“Just a sense I have that somepony is nearby.”

“Someone.”

“Sorry?”

“Don’t use ‘pony’--use ‘body’ or ‘one.’”

Luna shook her head: “This will take some adjustment. Besides, no one can understand me as it is, correct?”

Reaper nodded and shrugged, “Well, that’s true, I suppose. Have you heard anything?”

“No. I have no direct evidence, just the sensation of being observed.”

“Who knows? It may simply be we’re being tracked by otsal.”

“What is that?”

“An otsa is rather similar to a wolf, though a bit smaller and longer. They’re kind of slinky, like a huge ferret.”

“Are they dangerous?”

“One otsa--no, not particularly. But a pack of otsal? Probably.”

“What other creatures are there that might pose a threat?”

Reaper chuckled: “You mean besides Kurlin?”

Luna rolled her eyes: “Clearly.”

“Um, besides the otsal, I suppose the only other real threat in these northern climes is the harz--a kind of bear, though faster and, how do I put this, nastier.”

“Nastier?”

“Bears tend to be fairly easy to get along with, as long as you just avoid them and let them go about their business. They, like many creatures on our world, are nearly sentient.”

Luna nodded: “You have implied that such is not the case, here.”

“Not at all. Harz’l are aggressive and will actively pursue you as both an intruder and as prey. I’ve seen a few smaller ones semi-tamed into submission for amusement or as guard animals. Very nasty.”

“That sounds cruel.”

“You have no idea. Do you remember the bad old days of the unicorn frontier battles, at least--what? Two thousand years ago?”

Luna nodded: “Yes. It was then that unicorns learned they had to temper and harness their powers or risk destruction.”

“Right. That was a fairly busy time for me. Kur, especially the realms on this northern continent, put those conflicts to shame.”

“Though without magic, I assume the damage is somewhat more limited,” Luna opined.

“You’d be surprised what a whole bunch of motivated, blood-thirsty earth ponies can accomplish when they put their collective mind to it.”

Luna stopped and furrowed her brow. She tipped her head up as a few snowflakes touched her hair and nose.

Reaper looked back: “Yeah, I see. It’s starting to snow…”

Luna held up her hand: “Shh! That is not why I stopped.”

She pivoted to her right and peered up the slope into the thicket of trees through which they were walking.

Reaper stepped up beside her: “Do you hear something? Is it that whatever that’s been following us?”

Luna kept her hand up and shook her head: “No--this is different. I hear hoof-falls.”

“Foot.”

Luna smiled: “No, this time ‘hoof’ is more accurate. It does not sound like our own tread, but more like that of a pony.”

Reaper raised an eyebrow: “Dalzi? Here--in a forest?”

Luna put her hand down, but continued to peer into the trees: “What is a ‘dalzi?’ Are we in danger?”

“Well, not from a dalzi itself--they’re relatively placid and generally domesticated. They’re this world’s equivalent of a pony, though somewhat larger, and, well you’ll see when you get a look at one.”

“Then what danger would there be?”

“From the Kurlin who undoubtedly accompanies the dalzi. I’ll guarantee you the beast’s not on its own.”

“A companion?”

“No, an owner or master. Remember: Kurlin are the only sentient creatures on this world. Dalzi are pack animals, draft animals, war mounts, and the like. They are bright and clever, as far as that goes, but are not intelligent in the way you think of ponies.”

“So more like dogs.”

“A good analogy, yes.”

Reaper and Luna heard a sudden stumbling and rustling sound, accompanied by indistinct cursing.

Reaper tugged at Luna’s cloak: “We need to duck out of sight, and get a look at whoever this is.”

Luna nodded and took cover behind a large tree a few yards from the boulder where Reaper had hidden.

Two heavily-cloaked figures broke free of the branches and underbrush, towing a line of four tall, sleek, broad-backed, three-toed, dog-like creatures behind them.

“Az’ken!” The lead figure shouted.

Reaper leaned forward and strained to hear the interlopers’ voices.

“We finally found the fuckin’ stream!” the lead figure said in a deep, booming voice, throwing back his hood as he led two of the dalzi to the stream bank to drink.

His partner tugged a line with two more dalzi down beside his companion: “I told ‘ya it were close-by!”

“Sagu, you half-wit, you told me no such fuckin’ thing! You told me this stream was ‘close-by’ hours ago!”

His gangly, sandy-haired sidekick shied away: “Ain’t my fault the map’s skitchy, Sumi!”

Sumi glared at his companion and removed his heavy pack, setting it down next to a tree stump.

“You bought the fuckin’ thing, so it’s your fault by de-fault,” Sumi fumed. “Now shut up and let me piss in peace. Get a fire started--I don’t feel like slugging through anymore of this shit-hole forest tonight!”

Sagu tethered his two dalzi to a small tree growing at the water’s edge, and moved back several paces, grumbling as he began to drag rocks into a fire ring.

Sumi turned away and faced the stream as he lifted his kilt and began to piss on a shrub. Reaper gauged the distance between the two men and stepped briskly from behind his boulder.

“On’gua, gi’zona!” he called cheerily as he rapidly approached Sumi.

The large man whipped around, spraying his feet, and fumbled with both his kilt and sword, nearly dropping the blade in the mud in the process.

“Artu!” he shouted as he finally leveled his short sword at Reaper chest.

Reaper stopped and put up his hands: “Now, now friend--no need for swords!”

“Fuck that! There’s always need for swords in the wilderness! Sagu! Get your skinny ass over here!”

Sagu dropped the kindling he had just gathered and ran over to his friend’s side bearing a torch: “What’chu want, stranger?”

Reaper turned toward Sagu: “My name is Reaper. I am a stranger no more, yes? We all have names now!”

Sumi glared and took a step forward: “Your name’s about to be ‘otsa food,’ if you don’t explain why you ambushed us!”

Reaper looked pained: “Ambush? I was merely keeping out-of-sight until I could determine what sort of men you are. I did not take you for bandits. Was I in error?”

“You can lick my ass with that slippery tongue of yours, stranger! What are you doing out here?”

“My companion and I became lost among this stream’s meanders, and I am seeking a way to the nearest village or encampment.”

Sagu took a half step back and turned around, scanning the trees nervously.

Sumi’s eyes narrowed: “Companion? That definitely sounds like someone setting an ambush! It sure looks to me like you’re the shit-eating bandits, and we can always use another bounty, eh Sagu?”

“Yeah, though I’mma little worried we ain’t seen your mate yet.”

Sagu raised his voice and turned in a circle: “Maybe we should rough up poor ‘ol Reaper here and see who jumps outta the bushes?”

Reaper held his arms wide: “No need for roughing up! I will call for my companion, but please be aware that she does not speak our tongue, and is easily, how shall I put this, annoyed.”

Sumi raised an eyebrow: “She?”

Reaper looked over his shoulder and called out to Luna: “Come out slowly, Luna. Walk towards me, and stop just off my left side.”

Sumi jabbed his sword at Reaper’s face: “Hey! What the fuck did you just say in that jibber-jabber of yours? Who is this ‘she?’”

Luna stepped slowly and cautiously from behind the tree where she had been hiding, and took her place slightly behind and to Reaper’s left.

Reaper bowed as she stopped: “Gentlemen, allow me to present to you Luna, T’zesa of the Zaldun!”

Sumi and Sagu stood slack-jawed for a moment. Sumi shook his head and narrowed his eyes first: “Why the fuck is a princess out here in the wilderness?”

“Is she really Zaldun?” Sagu asked breathlessly.

“She is, and our business is our own.” Reaper replied. “I am merely her translator and man-at-arms. Even I am not privy to Her Highness’ ultimate plans.”

“By the Lost Gods she’s pretty!” Sagu blurted out. “Why ain’t she dressed like a princess?”

“We are forced to travel incognito. As you can tell, Her Highness stands out, even in this rough garb.”

Sumi chewed his lip: “Yeah, she’s pretty alright, and probably worth a pretty bounty, too!”

Reaper smiled, and pointed to his right breeches pocket: “If you will allow me to reach into my pocket, I can assure you I can trump any bounty you might receive.”

Sumi glowered, but nodded. Reaper reached into his pocket and brought out the bag of bits. He dipped his fingers into the bag and lifted out three bits.

“I suspect this is at least a month’s-worth of work for you two, yes?”

Sagu’s eyes grew large: “Shit, Sumi! We c’n finally take off a few weeks, eat some real food, get warm fer once!”

“Shut your mouth, Sagu,” Sumi barked, but he looked hungrily between Luna and the bits gleaming dully in Reaper’s hand.

He ran his hand over his mouth and scratched at his beard: “I don’t recognize the marks on those coins. Where’d you get ‘em?”

Reaper shrugged: “Zaldun, naturally. In addition, what is the story of your string of dalzi?”

“Them’s our bounties,” Sagu blurted out.

Sumi turned on his companion and waved his sword in his face: “Again, shut your fucking mouth!”

Reaper grinned: “How much for two? I will gladly pay the higher bounties, naturally. As you can guess, it causes me great distress to see the T’zesa forced to go on foot.”

Sumi continued glaring at Sagu: “Tell you what: let the blabbermouth here set up camp right quick and I’ll give you one of them nags for an hour of blanket time with Her Highness, there.”

Reaper affected a pained air: “You would not want that.”

“Would not want to fuck a princess? I think you must be drunk or stupid.”

Reaper looked to his left with a frightened expression, and turned back to Sumi with wide eyes: “It is well Her Highness does not understand our speech! I have seen her tear a man’s entrails out with her bare hands and teeth! Just a few weeks back I saw her impale a man! I have watched her fuck a man to death!”

He turned back toward Luna who was looking increasingly confused: “Luna! Stand taller, step forward a bit and look more imperious!”

“What is going on?”

“I’ll explain in a minute. Just be as haughty as you can!”

Luna straightened her back and tossed her head high, half-lidding her eyes and looking down her nose at the two bounty hunters.

Sumi took a half step backwards: “What was that about?”

“Her Highness grows impatient and demands I resolve this situation at once!”

Sumi reached down and scratched under his kilt: “Fucked him to death, huh?”

Reaper nodded solemnly.

Sagu grinned broadly: “Bet he died wit a smile on ‘is face, tho!”

Sumi chuckled: “Yeah--might be worth it!”

Reaper leaned in close: “He died in terror, staring blank-eyed into the Void.”

Sagu blenched: “Fuck it, Sumi, just sell ‘im the nag and the bitch! It’s better coin than we’d grab fer the bounty!”

Reaper dropped two more bits in his palm, as Sumi chewed his lip.

“Fuck it, indeed,” he said at last. “My wife’d kill me a second time if I died humping a mythical princess. Give me the gold and Sagu’ll give you two of the dalzi.”

Reaper turned to Luna: “Stay here for a second--I just bought a pair of mounts off these two.”

Luna nodded and looked the burly bounty hunter up and down as Reaper and Sagu walked away.

Sumi reached under his kilt to scratch again, muttering, “Still--might be worth it…”

Reaper heard Sumi faintly and grinned, but hurried Sagu along just to be safe: “Come quickly, friend. It appears you mean to camp here for the night, but the Princess and I have miles to cover.”

“Yeah, yeah--don’t rush me! This white one’s a handful! I call her ‘the Bitch.’ We kep her together with this brown nag. Seems’t keep the Bitch calmed a titch.”

He chuckled: “Bitch...titch. Sounds funny!”

Reaper rolled his eyes, but bowed graciously as Sagu handed him the rope: “Thank you. Your service will not go unnoticed should our paths cross again!”

“Aw, shit--I’m jes glad we’re gettin’ supmin’ out of ‘em! It’ll be nice t’ eat real food and sleep in a real bed again. Mebbe even get a fuck--even if it ain’t wit' a princess!”

Reaper smiled as they walked back toward Luna and Sumi: “Speaking of: where is the nearest village?”

Sumi overheard the question and shouldered Sagu aside: “Why should we tell you that? Seems intelligence of that type is as valuable as a mount!”

Reaper grinned and reached into his pocket: “You are as shrewd as you are fair!”

He pressed the coin onto Sumi’s hand: “Now if you would be so kind…”

Sumi waved Sagu over: “Get out that map ‘o yours. It’s time we orient ourselves on it, too.”

Sagu reached into the bag on his belt and pulled out a tattered roll of parchment: “The village of Rixk’a is down a ways along this ’ere stream.”

Reaper nodded: “What is this mark above the village?”

Sumi leaned in and squinted in the torchlight: “Looks like an old garrison symbol. But I’ll guarantee there ain’t no active garrisons in these parts anymore. Most likely in ruins by now.”

Reaper took a long look at the map, then straightened up and put out his fist: “The T’zesa and I both thank you for your generosity. We will be on our way, and wish you well in your endeavors!”

Sumi and Sagu stared at Reaper’s balled fist and glanced at each other in confusion.

“It’s not a hoof!” Luna hissed in Reaper’s ear.

He closed his eyes and let out a long sigh as he opened his hand: “My apologies, gentlemen. I momentarily engaged in a practice of the Zaldun.”

Sumi raised an eyebrow, but took Reaper’s hand and gave it firm shake.

“You are one fucking weird fellow!”

Reaper turned away with a small bow: “You have no idea…”

Luna fell in beside Reaper as he led their newly-acquired dalzi away from the the spongy ground next to the stream, back onto firmer footing.

Reaper glanced back over his shoulder in time to see Sagu striking sparks while Sumi arranged wood: “That’s good to see…”

“What is?”

“It looks like they really will settle in for the night. I was concerned they might follow us.”

“I assume they could still track us if they so choose.”

“True, though I doubt they’ll follow us. I think they really are just run-of-the-mill bounty hunters, happy to have made a very good profit for one night’s work!”

“I genuinely wish I could speak this language! I felt so helpless not knowing what was being said.”

Reaper squinted up into the thickening clouds, which were now producing more snow showers: “You didn’t miss much. I told them you were a Princess of the Zaldun--a T’zesa--and that I wanted to buy two of their mounts so you don’t have to walk.”

Luna smiled: “Ah, that explains why you wanted me to be haughtier!”

“Exactly. I needed you to be intimidating--a proper mysterious warrior Princess!”

Luna tossed her head back: “Perhaps I should learn a few words or phrases for such moments of high import!”

Reaper chuckled: “Sure--what do you want to know?”

“I heard the word ‘artu’ bandied about a fair amount. It seemed important.”

Reaper let out a short, loud laugh: “Ha! Luna, that means ‘fuck.’ I’m not sure you’ll be making a lot of use of that word in your new role as T’zesa of the Zaldun!”

Luna raised an eyebrow and looked down her nose at Reaper: “You have no fucking idea what my new role may entail!”

Reaper’s eyebrows jumped, and Luna broke into a broad grin.

“You’re probably right about that, Princess! You’re probably right!”

They chatted and laughed happily as they trudged on into the thickening snow.