• Member Since 5th Sep, 2014
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

RoyalBardofCanterlot


Celestia and Luna's royal bard. Nature is my God, Art is my religion, Love is the Law.

T

After hearing some alarming reports Twilight Velvet visits her daughter in Ponyville only to discover that Twilight is emotionally broken. Can she, and Twilight's friends, get Twilight the help she needs?
Trigger-Attempted suicide.

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 63 )

I understand this. I tired that too in 9th grade. It's nice to see how supportive everyone is in this story. Hopefully people who see this will see it as a sign not to attempt suicide.

Ah, Rainbow Dash, the very soul of circumspect sensitivity. :rainbowlaugh:

I'm not sure about anything as severe as being checked in after attempted suicide, but it seemed reasonably close in terms of the initial stages of treatment for depression. :twilightsmile:

I was once in one. Got discharged because of false alarm.

Anyways, in my case, I wasn't allowed to seemy parents for 3 days, so they couldn't influence me in some way. Same went for friends. Visiting hours were limitted to between after a sort of rest period, which came after lunch and lasted for 90 minutes and dinner. Because of my good behavior, I was allowed to go into the city with my parents and later even go home during weekends and Christmas. The last two weeks I could go to school again, without supervision.

Caffeine drinks were never allowed, due to possibly causing side effects from medication or nullifying the actual effects. I broke that rule.

Need more details? This is just the basic stuff.

Dark, but well written!
Have a like!:scootangel:
(Nice to see another Cristian here)

6598209 Thank you for the insight. The more I think about it, the more I think good mental health for an equine is going to be different than for a human. They're herd animals so they need the comfort of their herd (even a "recluse" like Twilight had one in Canterlot.) Isolation would be very bad for them mentally.

Trigger-Attempted suicide.

I hate how Tumblr's abuse of the words has made it so that I giggle a little whenever I see either trigger or Trigger warning; because it makes them less meaningful when they're used in places like here, where they actually are covering an issue that can really fuck with people's head.

but has a happy ending.

Pro tip, don't spoil your story's ending; because it makes people less likely to read it, or at least makes me less likely to read it. I can't speak for everyone.

I really enjoyed this story. Personally, I feel this dilemma would have worked better after Twilight was abandoned in "A Canterlot Wedding." Nevertheless, I look forward to reading more from you.

I was rather jaundiced going in. But you raise a good point. If anyone would suffer lingering effects from being "Discorded" it would be Twilight, especially since she resisted so robustly before succumbing.

However, a real weak point here is that you don't really address her black and white thinking which (by its premises) is valid!

It feels like it needs to be a longer story. At least to the point of them settling what the real problem is and what it is that inspires her to commit to try and solve it.

The writing wasn't the best but far from the worst. Too little energy to give a real critique. But a decent effort. Keep writing :yay:

6599851 It's going to be a fairly long story. I'm not sure what you mean by black-and-white thinking. Yes her guilt inspired her suicide attemptbut her logic wasn't valid.

This sounds like it needs a dark tag.

I really love the way celestia opened up there just wished they shred some tears too don't know why but I feel like we need to have a chapter about blueblood telling celestia that twilight is unfit and celestia chew's him a new one

.Twilight placed a hoof on Spike's head by way of answering.

"Your pet? I didn't think they let pets in here."

"I'm not a pet." Spike said, looking up from his pancakes.

"Holy shit, you talk?" Berry asked.

Twilight glared at her.

"Er sorry, little guy." Berry said.

That part was hilarious! Really enjoying this story so far. Can't wait to read the next chapter.

Nicely done, I like how berry is there for her daughter. Celestia and tea! Nothing stands in her way.

is this set before or after the canterlot wedding

6623946 ok will we get a chapter where cadence and shining armor visits as well

6624004 cool and just to make it even more crazy chrysalis decides to visit too

The first paragraph of chapter 2 is way too big; it needs to be broken up into some smaller paragraphs. As it is I couldn't bring myself to read the paragraph; if it had been the first chapter to start with a paragraph that huge I probably wouldn't have bothered reading any further.

Incidentally, from what I've heard, hanging is a particularly unpleasant way to die. As knowledgeable as Twilight is, I would have expected her to chose something faster and/or less painful (perhaps a deadly spell, or a drug that puts you to sleep before killing you). Then again, if she had done that it might not have been possible for her to be saved at the last minute and it would be a very different story...

I Really like it hope to read more soon

The pinkie trying too felt like they kind of came out of nowhere to me but meh.

Sorry for bugging you but do you know when the next chapter might come out

Glad to see Shining showing up and being a big brother like he should. Don't really know what else to say here actually.

Twilight had always admired the ancient ones swift approach to justice. She had always agreed with the death penalty, especially for dark magic.

After all, magic was a tool for light. To pervert it was monstrous.

I enjoyed the irony here.

I don't know, I'm kind of "eh" about this. There is absolutely no tension here. The whole thing happens and is aborted so quickly that there is no chance for any real oppressive feeling to even come up. I have barely any idea what Twilight is even thinking, because the chapter never really takes the time to tell me. This feels like it should have been a chapter 3 or 4 at the earliest.

Yay, sibling bonding! :twilightsmile: This is exactly what I needed right now.

Gonna be even harder for Chryssie to do her thing this time around, huh?

I think you are going to need an AU tag. If this is shortly after 'Lesson Zero', you may most definitely need one. As for the story, I agree with
7165969 about building it up, but there is a way around it. Flashbacks or nightmares dealing with the straw that broke Twilight's back (I am guessing it was her casting the 'Want it, Need it' Spell). From there, delve into the other events/issues that lead to Twilight making this decision. I have a theory on what is going on with Twilight, but I will hold off on saying it. I'll keep reading for now.

It lives!:yay: Good to know this story isn't dead, I was getting worried!

LOVE IT hope to read more soon

It's been alright, so far. Twilight's my favorite out of the Mane 6, but I think the only thing that really invoked a lot of emotion out of me is that last dream. Of course, maybe that's the point... Reflecting on the emptiness that she feels.

6896524 I had a feeling Pinkie was in a psychiatric hospital in some way. That explains Pinkie's reaction to Rainbow calling it a 'loony bin'.

It makes me wonder though just what was Discord's plan? What chaos was he anticipating when he did this. Hopefully now the girls can move forward and begin healing from this incident.

7617493 Plan? The Master of Chaos has no plans. That would make too much sense.
(This is why I love Discord as an antagonist)

Are you going to have Moondancer and the others show up?

7617497

The Joker claims the same thing.

Okay, this was a great chapter. And Twilight's right. No matter how dark things may seem, true friends will always have your back.

"Twilight Sparkle! Twilight Sparkle! Twilight Sparkle, Element of Magic, Heir to Twilight, Megan's Companion! Hear me! Thy ancestor faced Tirek at Dream Valley at the very dawn of our race! You have faced Nightmare Moon! You have faced Discord, he who is also called Crom Cruach and Satan! You have faced the Father of Lies and you know that this is a lie!"

A dark blue alicorn appeared in the void, standing between her and the demon's eyes.

Twilight...Sparkle...my name is...Twilight Sparkle...

She felt her horn, the magic bequeathed to her race by the Goddess Rhianon at the Dawn of All Things. She felt the magic flowing through her, connecting her to the warrior Twilight who had once fought at Megan's side.

...what? What the fuck did this suddenly turn into? The hell?

7618269 ...It began with Twilight having a psychotic episode and trying to hang herself.. No offense, but what were you expecting?

7618489
I certainly didn't expect it to suddenly explode into zero-context biblical references and weird homebrew setting elements from Gen1, that's for sure.

7618570 Did you like it? I was losing inspiration with this fic so I decided to do something different.
(Also, all of my stories are written in the context of G4 and G1 taking place in the same universe.)

7618577
Honestly, no, I really didn't. If you don't know what to do with this story anymore, then maybe the thing to do instead is to end it, instead of going completely off the rails with it like this. That just came completely out of nowhere and basically hasn't got anything to do with what the story started as.

and she attempted to take her own life-"

and... she

dark energy seek into the cracks.

seep

"As you can seem

see

7618269 Can you be specific about what you didn't like? A string of profanity doesn't exactly help me to improve as a writer.

7619824 If it's anything like me it was the sudden inclusion of satan, Goddess Rhianon at the Dawn of All Things, Warrior Twilight and megan. I read that and was SUPER confused when i did. I was just kinda like "wait. What just happened?" I kinda felt the same way about " Great Mother Danu"

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