• Published 16th Dec 2015
  • 513 Views, 2 Comments

Applebottom Jeans - Jake Witt



You don't like ponies? Let me fix that. Welcome to Not-Equestria where magic ponies are few- I'm not going to be a spoil sport. Check it out for your tiny sister, at least!

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S1 Episode 4: Apple what Season?

Rainbow Dash lied on her end of the see-saw, expecting to get launched from Twilight's thanks to a pair of jeans known as Apple Jack... but nothing came. She looked up to see a pair of crumpled apple bottom jeans and jean jacket slumped on the see-saw with fur boots on the ground at the see-saw's sides.

"Apple Jack?" Rainbow asked.

The big starred belt buckle used for the eye shot up, pointing to the air, "Yer welcooome!"

"uh... I haven't moved at all."

"Well, then, let's try it again!" AJ exclaimed, getting to her ankles before hopping onto her boots... backwards. "Well, this don feel mighty right..."

"No, no no NO." Rainbow got up, "What's going on?"

Apple Jack turned to Rainbow, "What do ya mean? I'm launching you into the sky-"

"Not that." Dash interrupted, "Did you forget to starch yourself or are just tired? Because it looks to me that you haven't slept."

"Ah have slept!"

"What's 9 + 18?"

Apple Jack shook her hat, "What? Don't use yer fancy mathe-"

"Just answer the question. 9 + 18?" she pointed to an invisible watch on her wrist, wondering if it was real or working right, "Tick! Tick! Tock!"

"27! NO! 21! It's 21! 21!"

"So it's applebucking season? Someone is injured?" Rainbow used some unknown logic to determine, "Let me guess; you're going to pick every tree on the farm on your own? From what I've heard; Big Mac is injured and Applebloom can only carry baskets..."


Sitting with Granny Smith the Quilt and Applebloom the smaller apple bottom jean, Big Mac the plush Lumber Jack was sewing himself back together. Suddenly the urge came and he began to "eeyup".

"Oh god it burns, not this again!" Applebloom shouted from her homework, picking everything up and moving to the barn.


"So from what I've gathered; you think you're the element of loyalty and decided to use that as an excuse to be stubborn and not ask for-"

Rainbow sighed as she saw AJ in a heap on the ground.

Her head screwed open as Pinkie the Brain hopped out of her head, "Alright, Dashie, your thought process is calibrated!"

Rainbow looked at the pink cow smiling at her, "...are you sure that was a legal brain surgery?"

"It's not illegal, yet!"

"So what are we going to do with Apple Jack?" Rainbow asked.

Pinkie floated in the air as her anime eyes were zoomed in with power. The town around her began to shake as a pink aura covered her, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

Rainbow stared in shock as she joined in the screaming.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAsk Twilight Sparkle to gather our friends and help her, silly!"

Rainbow doesn't remember why she was screaming or thought the town was doomed from Pinkie. I mean, what harm can an anime cow do? "Sure, let's do that."

"You also need to lend Apple Jack your strength."

They stared at the sleeping jeans. "You're kidding."


So Twilight used her magic to pick every lose apple off the trees while Rainbow wearing Apple Jack leapt from tree to tree kicking apples over to baskets with unparalleled skill and speed. Some were kicked to Rarity for inspection while Fluttershrub commanded the more lively trees to toss their apples at them.

When they were done, Rainbow took off Apple Jack and put her own jeans and jacket back on. They shared a glance that silently said, "We must never speak of this again."

Twilight smiled, "So did anybody learn a lesson about friendship? Especially Apple Jack because she was being a stubborn moron?"

Fluttershy frowned, "Moron is going too far."

"Stubborn jackass?"

Apple Jack sighed, "I learned that it's very unpleasant to have a person inside of you-"

Twilight frowned, "Keep it PG, not all of us are a pair of jeans."

"Um... don't handle more than you can chew? You'll get worn out?"

Twilight shook her head, "Close enough. I'll just add some fanfic flare and have it be sent as fact."

"You burn trees. I'm a tree." Fluttershrub reminded.

Twilight took out an iphone, "Siri, remind me to get cow hide scrolls."

[I don't know what you mean by, "Rainbow Dash lied on the end of her see-saw..."]