• Published 2nd Nov 2015
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Lateral Movement - Alzrius



Having been granted rulership over the city of Vanhoover, and confessed their feelings for each other, Lex Legis and Sonata Dusk have started a new life together. But the challenges of rulership, and a relationship, are more than they bargained for.

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201 - Nothing To Be Ashamed Of

“What are you thinking about?”

Aisle blinked as he turned his head to regard his girlfriend, Cozy’s question pulling him out of his daydreaming. “I was thinking of how beautiful you are,” he answered, looking over at her with a smile.

“Flatterer,” she smiled back, but it only lasted for a moment before her face turned serious. “But really, what were you thinking about?”

Aisle’s grin faded, and he gave a self-deprecating laugh as he looked back up at the sky. “Saw right through me, huh?”

He had suggested that the two of them get away from the camp for a little while yesterday evening, telling Cozy that he wanted to spend some time alone with her. In truth, he’d simply wanted to get her away from everypony else. Having to watch her wince or flinch whenever one of the injured or sick camp ponies passed too close to her, thanks to Lex’s curse, had been awful. So he’d managed to get a little of the leftover food and a dilapidated old tent and asked her to follow him a few hundred feet north of the camp, close enough to still be in sight of it while far enough away that they had some privacy. They’d spent the night together, and neither had been in a hurry to get back to the camp once the sun had risen, just enjoying the peace, quiet, and company.

Gently, Cozy reached over and turned his chin so he was looking at her. “I didn’t see through you,” she corrected softly. “I see you. All of you. Even before we were together, I noticed you.” Her hoof slowly traced the side of his face, caressing him. “I noticed that you were always kind, no matter how tense or scared you felt. I noticed that you were brave, without needing to show off. I noticed that you were selfless, and never asked for anything in return.” She leaned forward then, nuzzling him as she continued. “And then, before I noticed it, I’d fallen for you.”

“Cozy…”

“So that’s why I don’t want you to hide anything from me.” She raised her other hoof then, gently cupping his face between them as she leaned forward to plant a tender kiss on his lips. “I know you’re worried about me, and I know I’m not alright yet, but when you do that…when you try and hide what you’re feeling, even if it’s to protect me…it feels like you’re leaving me alone.” Her hooves slid down, embracing him, and she laid her head on his chest. “I don’t want to be alone again, Aisle. Not this soon after Pillow…”

He heard the tremor in her voice as she said her late husband’s name, and that was enough to make Aisle’s heart clench, his forelegs encircling her and hugging her back. “I’m sorry.” For a long moment he didn’t say anything else, closing his eyes as he held Cozy before he let out a small sigh, licking his lips. “I was thinking about before,” he admitted.

This time it was Cozy who heard the catch in his voice, looking up at him. “You mean last night?”

“…yeah.”

Hearing the embarrassment in his voice, Cozy gently separated herself from him, wanting to look at him directly. But he didn’t meet her gaze, looking away as his ears folded back. “Aisle…hey, look at me.” For a moment he didn’t seem like he’d do it, but then he slowly raised his eyes to meet hers, a miserable look on his face. The sight made Cozy’s heart go out to him, knowing that he didn’t deserve the humiliation he was struggling with right now. “You have nothing to be ashamed of.” Her voice was soft, but her words were filled with determination, silently willing him to believe what she was telling him.

“It doesn’t feel that way,” he murmured, still looking extremely uncomfortable.

She grit her teeth then, a sudden flash of anger running through her. But it wasn’t directed toward Aisle; rather, it was aimed squarely at the pony responsible for his misery. “You have nothing to be ashamed of,” she repeated. “Lex is the one who did that to you. It’s his fault, not yours.” His response was to nod, but his eyes slid away from hers, and she knew she wasn’t getting through to him.

I should have said no, last night, she silently reprimanded herself. I should have told him I wasn’t feeling well, or that I was too tired, or something else. But the thought lacked conviction, knowing that she couldn’t lie to him to spare his feelings while telling him not to do the same for her. Even so, that didn’t make her feelings of guilt go away. We knew what his curse was. Why did we have to confirm it? “Aisle-”

He held up a hoof to stop her. “I know. I just…I know what you’re going to say, and I know you’re right, but…” His jaw worked silently for a moment, and he looked everywhere but at her as he tried to work out how to put what he was feeling into words. But after several long seconds, he still hadn’t figured out what he was trying to say, and he shook his head, frustration clouding his features.

Realizing that she’d pushed him too hard, Cozy almost apologized, but caught herself at the last moment, remembering how unpleasant it had been yesterday when he’d been excessively careful of her feelings. That had highlighted, rather than mitigated, how bad she felt, and she didn’t want to do the same thing to him now. Instead, she blurted out what she’d been thinking about for the last several minutes. “I want you to come see Princess Cadance with me.”

That did the trick, wiping the shame off of his face and causing his ears to flip back up as he looked at her in surprise. “Huh?”

Suppressing the urge to sigh in relief, Cozy kept talking. “I don’t know if she can bring Pillow back, but I’m sure she can remove Lex’s curses.”

Aisle’s eyes widened at that. “Wait, really?!”

Cozy couldn’t help but smile slightly at the hopeful tone in his voice. “Well, I’m not one hundred percent certain, but I have seen her perform some impressive miracles with Lashtada’s power. I bet getting rid of that horrible pony’s evil magic will be easy for her. Besides,” she added as her smile fell away, “I want her to see some of the awful things Lex has done.”

She half-expected Aisle to argue with her about that, since he’d mentioned before how he wasn’t convinced that Lex was a bad pony. But instead he turned so he was standing next to her, gently pressing his side to hers. “I want our curses gone, but I have to ask: are you sure my going back with you is a good idea?” he asked quietly.

Now it was her turn to be surprised, giving him a confused look. “What do you mean? I told you before: I want you with me.” Back when they had been taking shelter in that apartment building, one of the ways they’d all tried to keep their spirits up was by talking about what they’d do when the disaster was over. Aisle’s dream had always been to reopen his grocery store. But now that they were together, Cozy felt certain that if she went back to the Crystal Empire and he stayed in Vanhoover, their relationship would wither. But at the same time, she needed to go home, and not just for herself; Princess Cadance was Pillow’s only chance to be brought back. And even if she couldn’t, he deserved to be laid to rest in the place where he’d grown up. If Aisle didn’t want to come back with her, there wouldn’t be anything she could do about it, and that thought made her chest tighten painfully.

Fortunately, that didn’t seem to be what he was talking about. “I mean, if I go back with you, you’re going to want me to stay by your side, right?”

“Of course.” The question made her frown; why wouldn’t she want that?

Aisle licked his lips before continuing. “If Princess Cadance can’t bring him back…you don’t think that will be a little awkward when you talk to Pillow’s friends and family?”

The question hit Cozy like a physical blow, and for a moment she just gaped at him. “I hadn’t…” She trailed off, the weight of what he’d just said settling over her.

He was right, of course. As horrible as it was to tell Pillow’s parents that their son was dead, the idea of telling them that he’d been gone for less than a day before she’d found a new boyfriend was even worse. No matter that she truly did love Aisle, or that she felt certain that her new relationship didn’t diminish what she’d shared with her husband. His parents would look at Aisle and see nothing but the stallion that had moved in on their son’s territory before his body had grown cold. Worse than that, they’d think that her finding someone else would mean that she wasn’t mourning Pillow’s death. Just the thought of them reacting like that was almost a physical pain.

That must have shown on her face, because Aisle put a foreleg around her shoulders. “Listen, we don’t have to figure everything out right now. The trains aren’t running yet, so we have some time before-”

Cozy shook her head. “I don’t need time to think about things.” She took a deep breath, steadying herself before moving so she was standing directly in front of him, looking him straight in the eye. “I want you with me when I go back.” There was a challenge in her voice, daring him to try and talk her out of it. When he didn’t, she relaxed, but only slightly. “You’re probably right about what’ll happen, and I understand if you don’t want to go through that. I don’t want to go through that. But I will not act like our love is something to be ashamed of!” She was almost shouting by then, becoming more upset as she went on. “You are not taking advantage of me, and I am not using you to deal with my grief! I’m a priestess of the goddess of love, and I’m more qualified than anypony to say that what we have is real! And if there are some ponies who can’t accept that, that’s their problem!” She glared at him as she finished. Although he wasn’t the target of her anger, she suddenly wanted to lash out at somepony, hating the unfairness of it all.

For a moment Aisle didn’t reply, looking at her with a neutral expression, before a small smile made its way onto his face. “Okay.”

“Darn right it’s okay!” she snapped, still riled up.

“It is,” he agreed, closing the distance between them and hugging her again.

She stayed tense for a moment before she finally started to relax, shuddering as she leaned into him. Slowly, she let out a breath. “Besides, we won’t have to worry about any of that,” she murmured. “Princess Cadance will bring Pillow back and then everything will be fine.”

“Yeah,” agreed Aisle. “Until everypony finds out that you have a new boyfriend in addition to your husband. Then they’ll have a very different reaction.”

Cozy snorted at that, and a moment later began to snicker, before finally erupting in full-blown laughter. Aisle chuckled as well as he held her, hearing the occasional sob mixed in with her mirth. Finally, she calmed down, sniffling. “It’s just…it’s all so hard sometimes, you know?”

“I know,” he replied softly, one hoof stroking her mane. “I know.” They stayed that way for some time before separating, Aisle nodding toward their tent. “Come on, let’s pack everything up and head back to camp.” He smiled as he glanced at the distant forms of the crowd of ponies.

“I’m sure Cloudbank and Drafty are back by now, and I know that they’ll be happy for us.”

Author's Note:

Cozy and Aisle continue to work out their new relationship.

What will happen when they realize their friends haven't made it back yet?

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