The Doctor has adjusted to his new life as a pony. However, he finds himself being put to the ultimate test when a new foe that has worked up a powerful scheme to through everything off balance. The Doctor must play through the game that this foe has set for him, and has to make his choices as it advances. Whether or not these choices are right is entirely up to him.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Interesting, good hook to start with. HOWEVER... Check your grammarzzzz...zzz, and try to shorten and space out your paragraphs more, it makes for easier reading... not that I would know anything about that
A decent approach to the Doctor's story, to say at least.
You have my attention.
I got Schizophrenic very fast with that comment. I can't believe people actually read this crap, Ink Spots would be ashamed of this story.
I like that Derpy is quick on the draw here. A long way from how she's usually portrayed in fanfic. Wasn't Dinky onscreen in A Canterlot Wedding part 2, though?
888667
If she was, I never saw her. Maybe because I wasn't very much focusing on the background when I watched the Wedding episodes. Well, I guess the plot is all ruined!
888725
Wait, no, I was wrong. I was thinking the filly in the alleyway with the Doctor and Carrot Top was her, but it was somepony else.
888734
The Plot is-! 
888753
Meh. Even if it had been her, all you'd have needed to do would be change what event Derpy and the Doctor were leaving when the message arrived.