• Published 31st Oct 2015
  • 2,690 Views, 91 Comments

Gnosis - Sunny



As life in the palace proceeds as normal, Princess Celestia comes down with an illness. All knowledge has a price, and some doors once opened can never be closed again.

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A Little Knowledge

It was a humble job, Spot Shine knew, but somepony had to do it. Humble was no excuse for lazy. Though most days consisted of routine dusting, mopping, and tidying, when Spot Shine finished there was not a speck of dust left in her wake. Occasionally, she dealt with the consequences of the chaos which so frequently struck Canterlot. Invariably, there was some horrific mess to clean up. Like the Gala, this year! Everypony else might have eventually grown fond of the Smooze, but they didn’t have to clean up after him.

Still, she had ten years faithful service, and if she had her way, they would need to force her to retire. All the stress, all the snooty nobles ignoring her, everypony who didn’t realize how hard the staff worked to keep the palace humming? Their opinion didn’t matter. She was paid something infinitely more valuable than mere bits : Those little smiles from Princess Celestia that silently thanked her for work well-done.

After all, life in the palace revolved around the Princess. Technically, it was Princesses now, but these past few years had not yet been enough time for everypony to truly adjust to Luna’s return. A thousand years of entrenched tradition could not simply be swept away, even when it was Celestia trying to hold the broom.

And Luna...Luna was just not the same as Celestia. She tried, she really did, but it wasn’t the same. Luna didn’t have Celestia’s grace, didn’t have Celestia’s eye for detail. And she certainly did NOT have Celestia’s sense of cleanliness. The one time Spot Shine had tried cleaning Luna’s rooms...well, she wouldn’t be caught saying the Lunar Princess was a slob; far from it! Just...well, it was impossible to clean a room when the floor was half scattered texts, and the tables covered in every sort of modern knick-knack anypony could conceive of! Then there was her refusal to ever open her curtains to let the light in, and even if one ignored that she slept during daytime - ultimately it had been agreed it was best for everypony if Luna handled her own cleaning.

In the end, Spot Shine wouldn’t have it any other way. Okay, yes, she had not appreciated how much time she’d had to spend cleaning up Changeling goop after Cadance’s wedding, and she could rant about Tirek for an hour straight...but it was the palace! Every pony there played her or his part in helping Equestria shimmer and shine just a little brighter.

Today, Spot Shine had just finished wiping down an ornamental suit of armor when Celestia emerged from the nearby meeting room. Spot Shine quickly curtsied. “Oh! Hello, Princess! How was your meeting?”

Celestia shook her head and sighed. “It was passable. Normally Warm Heart is always eager to talk about how his charitable foundations are succeeding, but today he just did not seem interested. He was oddly fixated on simply reminiscing with me, and while I may think fondly of the work we’ve done...” Celestia’s ear twitched, and her muzzle furrowed. “I am sorry, Spot Shine. It is always a pleasure to see you, but I must be going. He’s still inside, but I don’t think he would mind if you got started. Be well, my little pony.”

Spot Shine bid the Princess goodbye with one last cheery smile, and then after inspecting the suit of armor for any missed blemishes, she trotted right for the meeting room.

She looks a bit peaky… she thought. Maybe I’ll get a chance to cheer her up later. Yet for now, work beckoned! “Hello!” she called out brightly. “Warm Heart, right? I’m just going to -” The door clicked shut behind her, and the halls were silent once more.


Aegis took pride in his position. What pony wouldn’t? The Royal Guard was far from easy to get into, yet he’d passed the entrance exams with flying colors. He’d excelled in basic training. By the time he’d earned his commission, he’d already gained a commendation for valor when a training exercise nearly ended in disaster after an unfortunate weather mishap. The smiles of his parents as he formally entered the ranks of the Royal Guard were second only to Celestia herself personally honoring him for saving his fellow cadets.

Ever since that day, he’d known where he wanted to serve. The Palace might be a quiet posting, but the treasure it held was the most valuable in all of Equestria. Yes, he knew, Celestia could care for herself. And yes, he knew his job wasn’t truly to keep her safe from external threats, but rather to help calm her life in any way possible. But he had always yearned to do more, to rise to the challenge when called, to prove the guard could be more than mere ornamentation.

Thus, his pride had been wounded the numerous times Equestria had been threatened and he had failed. The day Celestia and Luna disappeared, Tirek, the Changelings...the last in particular. Here had been a foe he could fight, but their swarm seemed endless, and it didn’t matter how many foes he felled. In the end, he’d been captured. Helpless. And Celestia had fallen.

She’d passed into her chambers a short time ago, and he stood vigilant at her door with his partner, Sharp Spear. Though all was silent, ears and eyes did not falter, for the guard took pride in its stoicism, in its ability to maintain poise and decorum for hours, even when the only eyes to witness any slip were their own. That was enough; he would not slack in his duty. He would stand firm. He would - hoofsteps!

“Hello!”

“Good day, Spot Shine,” he replied politely. “What brings you here?”

“Just going in to clean the Princess’s study. You don’t mind, do you?”

Aegis shook his head. “I suppose not. I believe she is simply going through her correspondence, and - well, I don’t need to be telling you how to behave.”

Spot Shine laughed, and shook her head. “Of course not! I shouldn’t be too long, you know how the Princess is, unlike her sister’s well-known penchant for, ah, ‘creative pandemonium’.”

Aegis gave her a nod, and together with Sharp Spear, he stood aside to let Spot Shine pass. She emerged some twenty minutes later, and a frown was etched on her face.

“The Princess has a headache,” she announced. “She’s asked me to go speak with Raven to see about re-arranging her schedule for the day, but she’s also due for a meeting downstairs. Would one of you please go tell Warm Heart she’s sorry, but will need to reschedule?”

Aegis turned his eyes to Sharp Spear. They did not speak for some seconds, and then he turned back to Spot Shine and dipped his spear. “I will go. I hope her highness feels better soon.”

“I’m sure she will!” Spot Shine returned. “She probably just needs a bit of rest. Thank you, Aegis.”

“It is our honor to serve.” The halls echoed with his hoofsteps as he set off. It was surely nothing, but even then, he did not like to hear Celestia felt off at all. Yet duty beckoned, and Aegis set forth without complaint.

“Oh, Sharp Spear, that reminds me, I have -” was the last he heard before he turned the corner.


To most ponies, the Princess was untouchable, so far above them as to seem divine. To Equestria at large, she was perfect, and even her missteps were forgiven as mere accidents, or as fate conspiring against her. Not even the last few years had damaged her image. After all, in the end, it had all turned out okay! It was just part of the plan, wasn’t it?

Raven knew better. To her, the Princess sometimes acted a giant foal, and denied what was right before her eyes. Years of working closely with Celestia had banished childish notions of royal perfection, taught Raven to see that no matter how much Her Royal Highness tried to play the perfect Princess, Celestia was at heart just a pony. One incredibly long-lived and knowledgeable, but a pony just the same. One with fears, one with desires, one with needs...and one with the occasional stubborn refusal admit to the obvious.

“She said it was just a headache!” Raven complained. “A headache! Princess, this is far more than a headache!” When she’d come in, Celestia had been slumped over her desk. A careless hoof had spilled ink all over parchment, and the Princess had been staring blearily at the mess before Raven had cleared her throat to announce her presence.

“It was just a bit of clumsiness. I am fine, really. I do thank you for your concern, but -”

“You do not ‘but’ me, Princess! Everypony else, perhaps, but I know better. You are going to bed, now, and you are getting some rest! The kingdom will keep for a few hours, or a day, or however long it takes you to feel better!”

“Raven…” Celestia began, “Please. All I need is a cup of tea, and while I may not hold court, I can at least make headway on these proposals.”

Raven snorted. She lifted a hoof and gestured as she spoke. “Bags under your eyes. Your mane is listless. Your wings are drooping. And most importantly? You need not keep up the act with me. Maybe when I had just started in your service, but the entire reason you hired me was you knew I would be willing to tell you ‘no’. And I am doing that right now! You will rest! End of story. What even happened?!”

Celestia glanced at the spilled ink, but Raven added, “I’ll make sure it’s cleaned up, and salvaged as much as possible.” Her last objection defeated before she could voice it, Celestia rose to her hooves, and slowly made her way to her bedchambers.

It wasn’t until she was out of the study and in bed that Raven finally relaxed. She made her way close, and she abandoned matron for mother. “You take a nap. I’ll make sure your schedule is taken care of, and we’ll get this straightened out. What do you remember after she left, anyway?”

“Nothing out of the ordinary. Aegis came in to talk. I suppose Miss Shine mentioned my headache, and we got to talking, and he asked me about the time we first met. I…” Celestia smiled. “He was so proud, then. And he should have been.” She yawned wide enough to impress a lion, and turned to her side, laying her head down upon her pillow. “I’m sorry. It must have been after he left, I believe I simply lost track of my thoughts.”

Raven bit back a renewed sigh. “Rest, Princess. It won’t hurt Equestria if you take a day off. I’ll go speak with him, make sure you are not further disturbed.” Celestia sleepily murmured her thanks, and Raven took a moment to pause. Celestia might drive her crazy from time to time, yet she was privy to a side of her few saw, a relationship she took pride in. Celestia relied on her, and she would not let her down. She spent some minutes tidying scattered papers, and when she was done, a quick peek in the bedroom confirmed the Princess was asleep. Raven smiled. Moments like these? That was why she did her job. To do, so Celestia would not. Otherwise, Celestia would give of herself until there was nothing left.

And Raven would be there to make sure she was stopped from doing just that. Her horn glowed gently, holding the door open when an ear twitched, and Raven turned her head. Her voice was a soft whisper as she asked, “Aegis? Why aren’t you guarding the door? No, she’s sleeping. Could you help -” The magical glow went out, the door clicked shut, and Celestia slumbered alone.


Quick Check knew he was one of the best physicians in all of Canterlot. So many doctors were still too content to rely upon outdated methods rather than tried-and-true research results. So many afraid of change, so many refusing to update with the times, so many...no matter. They would learn, given time. He would shine, and illuminate the path for the others to follow. Right now, though? He was annoyed.

“How did you not come and fetch me earlier? I should have been here as soon as she developed a fever!” He glared at Raven, who did not flinch before him.

“I had no reason to suspect it was anything more than a seasonal illness. I never saw cause for alarm. These things happen, sometimes. She has always recovered within a day or two. This is merely a little longer than normal.”

He stamped a hoof on the tile. “It is not a little longer! She has been out of commission for three days and shows no signs of improvement! I must insist from this moment forward she have no visitors apart from myself and my nurse. And no, you may not countermand this. I have spoken with Princess Luna and she has given me full authority to treat my patient as I see fit. Celestia is to concern herself with nothing but her recovery! Any and all work that cannot be delegated will be brought to Luna. That is final.”

Raven stood her ground and for a short time, Quick Check thought she would refuse to obey. Her muscles were taut under her throat, and her jaw worked back and forth as her teeth ground. Yet, in the end, she bowed her head. “Very well. No visitors. I will make sure it is known.”

Quick Check nodded his head and said curtly. “I am glad you could see reason, Miss Raven. Rest assured, she is in fully capable hooves, and will be back to her normal duties in no time, I am certain!”

“You may be right, Doctor,” Raven said quietly. “Yet I do not believe quarantining her is the right solution. The Princess should be with those she cares about. Who better to cheer her up than those she loves?”

“Love may cure all in stories, Miss Raven, but in reality we practice medicine. I shall certainly take it under advisement, but right now it is my educated opinion that what Princess Celestia needs is treatment of her symptoms. This is likely an infection of some form, and as soon as I complete her examination, I shall know just how to proceed. Likely, a few healing draughts, some fluids, and that will be that.”

Raven shook her head. “As you wish, Doctor. I apologize if I seem confrontational. We are all eager to have her up and back to work as soon as possible.”

“Think nothing of it, my dear!”

“Perhaps we have gotten off on the wrong hoof. Might I take you to dinner, Doctor? It would help very much if you could tell me what you discover.”

Quick Check gazed up towards the chandelier for a few moments. “ I shall tell you what! Nurse Chantry and I shall be isolated with our patient for the next day or two, but once I see signs of improvement, I will accept that offer. If, that is, it remains open.”

Raven smiled. A genuine one, this time, showing the white gleam of her teeth. “I believe I would like that very much, Doctor. We all would.”

“Splendid! We shall talk then! For now, I have a patient to tend to!”


“That doctor is a QUACK!” Luna blurted in exasperation. There was a slight clatter as she set a tray at Celestia’s bedside. Soup, bread, a few pills. Her horn glimmered, and she threw open the curtains, letting daylight spill into her sister’s chamber. “What madness possesses him, to change his course of treatment so suddenly? You were improving, sister!”

“Luna, please, I am sure he is only doing what he thinks best.” Celestia turned a sallow gaze on her sister. “He must have had a good reason.”

Luna snorted. “A good reason? Praytell, Tia, what would that be? ‘Oh, I shall stop doing what was working in favor of bleeding my patient’?” She shook her head. “He has been dismissed. I consulted with three separate experts, and all agreed such methods were archaic a century ago! One conveyed Quick Check himself has called bleeding ‘harmful nonsense’ and could not understand why he would suddenly advocate such.” Luna sat down beside her sister, and levitated the bowl of soup before her. The spoon dipped inside, and she held it out to Celestia. “If I must play nursemaid to you myself, then I shall. Equestria may burn for all I care, for my sister comes first.”

Celestia struggled to lift her head off the pillow, and slurped as she drained the spoon. She fell back, and said softly, “The sun…”

“Is well under control, sister, worry not. It is a heavy burden, but you raised the moon for a thousand years when I was, well, indisposed. What is a week or two compared to that?”

Celestia shifted, drew a foreleg free of her bedsheets. It wavered as she rose it to her sibling's cheek, and the brief contact was enough to elicit a weary smile from Luna. “I do not deny it fatigues me, Celestia, and my sleep has suffered. It is a small price to pay to let you rest. You need not worry about Equestria at large, either. Twilight Sparkle has come to Canterlot, and I daresay by the time you recover you will find she has rearranged half the government for the better.”

Their shared laughter filled the room, Celestia’s a meek chuckle to Luna’s own hearty gales. Luna continued, “Certainly, she has brought renewed cheer to a palace that has grown steadily more somber since your illness began. They may be forgiven their odd behavior, for I am sure it is born of concern for you. But enough of that!” The floating spoon waggled insistently before Celestia’s lips. “Eat!”

Bit by bit, the soup found its way into Celestia’s stomach, until the bowl clattered as it was set once more upon the platter. The pills came next, gently levitated past Celestia’s lips, joined by a goblet moments after. “Drink,” Luna urged. “It is but water to help you swallow.”

Celestia gulped, and a thin dribble of water ran down her cheek. “Thank you…” she whispered. Her head turned to the side, and drooping eyes lay upon the bread. “I do not quite feel up to finishing,” she whispered. “Will you be here when I wake?”

Luna’s breath warmed Celestia’s throat as the younger sister lay her head down. She hugged herself close. “Always,” she murmured. “I shall never leave you, my beloved sister. There is nopony I love, or shall ever love, more than you.”

Celestia’s lips curved up of their own accord. “I feel the same, Luna. I waited a thousand years for you, and I would wait a million more if I had to. I love you, little sister.”

Luna’s lips brushed Celestia’s cheek. “Rest,” she urged, and once more the tray lifted into the air. “I shall be here when you awaken.”

Celestia’s eyes fell closed, and she slept.


How long had it been, exactly? She’d lost track of time. Surely no more than a few days...a week? It was so hard to focus. She was so tired now. The days and nights seemed to blend together. The light...when was it last light? She remembered the sun rising..no, was that? When was that?

There was a clack, and the door opened. A shadowed figure stepped in. Spread wings. A horn. Luna. Little Sister. Caretaker. Yes. Celestia already felt better, and she smiled as Luna approached, as Luna carefully slid the tray off of her back and onto the table beside her.

“Do you feel up to eating?” Luna intoned.

Eating? Yes. Her stomach growled. Food would be nice. What was the word, again? It was right...ah, there it was. “Please,” Celestia whispered, “Please.” Luna would know. She always knew. The hilt of the spoon was in Luna’s lips, and then the warm liquid passed Celestia’s own. Some spilled, she knew, but no matter. Luna would clean her, or some other pony. They all cared. She loved them for their caring. She loved all of Equestria, truly, but...some more than others. That was not so wrong, was it? She could not love them all equally. She could not...the spoon, again.

She slurped, the sound breaking the claustrophobic silence. For a moment, the musty smell of sweat and stale air hit her. Off. Open a window. Yes. That would fix it. She opened her mouth to ask and…

“Would you like to hear a story, sister? I found an old book in your study, recently. One from our Foalhood, I imagine. How long have you kept that treasure hidden away, I wonder? Such precious memories it must carry. Listen…” The quiet scrape of ancient parchment, the low drone of Luna’s voice.

She knew this one. The pony went into the woods, when she was not supposed to go. But the forest was filled with monsters, ones who could mimic voice and sight and touch. They mimicked friends, family, tried to lead her further astray, to cause her to lose sight of the truth. Of course, she was saved, in the end. There was a happy ending. But the monster...it had scared Luna, long ago, hadn’t it? Or had it been Celestia who feared it? So hard to remember, exactly. So hard to keep anything straight. But Luna was there. Little sister. Warm. Beloved.

Her eyes were so heavy, again. Luna was saying something about sleeping. It sounded nice. Luna was right, she needed her strength. Luna would be back. Celestia would be better soon.

Luna kissed her cheek. “Rest, sister. Equestria awaits your recovery, and rest assured, we know that your love for them is an endless reservoir. I shall see you when you awaken.”

Celestia let her eyes fall shut. Well, not quite. The faintest lifting of her eyelids, just enough to see the dark figure of her sister watching over her. Slow, steady breathing. Soft emerald light tinged the edges of her vision for a brief moment, and then Luna stepped away once more, the green glow trailing in her wake. Ah, yes, it was just the tray, floating there in her magic. Gentle humming in her ears. Who...it sounded like...a lullaby, perhaps? A song. Just...it would be a new day soon. A perfect day, she was sure. She would be better. She would rise, and greet her little ponies. But not today. Today...rest.

Celestia smiled as sleep swept her away once more. The room was still yet again, and outside, the palace lay silent as a lone figure bore away from Celestia’s chambers through empty halls, and dust accumulated upon long untended tables.

Author's Note:

I've sat on this for some months, wanting to polish it for publication. Nightmare Night is the perfect night to finally release it, and I am happy with what has resulted.

Gnosis is a multi-layered story. The mere presence of spoiler text below should tell you there is more going on, if it has not already come together. I encourage the reader to discover it for themselves, but if you are still confused, the spoiler text below should set you on the right track.

Pay attention to how characters behave when it is their point of view, and how they behave after. If you remain lost, Luna is the best pony to focus upon.

If you still feel lost, I am sure the comments will reveal all. To readers, I encourage the use of spoiler text just in case for the major revelations.

Lastly, many thanks to AShadowOfCygnus in particular for editing aid, as well as everyone else over these months who have read the story and offered constructive feedback, particularly members of The Writeoff Association!

Comments ( 91 )

This is still one of my favorite writeoff stories, and it's just as good as I remember it. There are definitely a few more hints, but that's probably a good thing.
My only complaint is that you have an extra "lay" in the last paragraph.

6586513

Thanks, this has been fixed! And glad you still love it :rainbowkiss:

6586577
Might merit a Tragedy tag too. That would help the clueless out a little.

Also, ditch work and come party with us! :rainbowwild: We're open at 5, pizza at 8, ponies at 10, RHPS at 11.

I don't get what-

Wait. . . Luna isn't supposed to have green magic.

Changeling?

6586597

I probably can show up at some point, will see how fast I can get out of work. Though no costumes, no time to put together one of those :scootangel:

6586769

Take that final thought and reread it and I think you will find it has turned into something completely different.

I don't mean to make it a bone of contention, but this story is much too spooky! My coccyx nearly fell out of my pelvis, I was rattling so much. Let me tell you, I didn't find that humerus. It chilled me right to my marrow! Fear ran from my metacarpals to my femurs and back again!

P.S send calcium

P.P.S I am a skeleton

Fucking bugs

6586773
Not a problem!!! You will lol at Jewel's outfit. :rainbowlaugh:

Ah I remember this...

Hmm? This story story is multi-layered and there's not just one twist? I guess I have to read it all.

*Five minutes later.*

EVERYPONY IS A CHANGELING:pinkiegasp:

Okay, that's... really damn creepy at the end. Especially in conjunction with what's implied by "Luna" having green magic... I'm not sure what exactly was up with the other scenes, but that last one...

Really damn creepy. *Shivers*

6668309

Consider the actions of the characters in light of what that spoilered statement replies. Or, if you want a more direct explanation...

Luna isn't the only pony who gets replaced by a Changeling as the story goes on - the changes in perspective matter.

6668323 Huh. I guess I just missed whatever cues were supposed to inform us that something was "off" about those others. Except for Luna complaining about the doctor, presumably before she was replaced -- that was pretty blatant.

I suppose this is sort of an AU thing where instead of doing the crazy wedding invasion scheme, the changelings infiltrated more slowly and carefully, eventually taking over completely, to the point where Celestia herself was feeding all of them? Or perhaps Celestia was kidnapped and replaced, although that doesn't fit quite as well...

6668345

There 'when' and 'why' I leave vague. It's only really the 'what' that has a clear explanation in-story, even if it has to be teased out :twilightsmile:

This is.... majestic. :pinkiegasp:

So i am guessing that they have been drugging celestia to keep her restrained so they can take over. Shrugs. Okay story.

Though i don't buy they could capture luna. Or more so, that luna would not be able to tell Celestia what is actually going on. Dreamwalking and all that. And killing her is even more unlikely, cause that would only be possible via a violent ass battle that everyone is gonna notice.
Also they could jsut kill celestia instead >_<

So both luna would tell celestia and its unlikely Luna could even be subdued by changelings. Story is interesting at least.

6720734

Just for funsies :

It's not drugging, Luna's fate is ambiguous beyond 'she's not present', there are ways to dispose of someone that don't involve head-on attack if they went that route (And I am not saying they did), and they aren't going to kill their giant love-sponge.

I know you have strong feelings on things but there are multiple interpretations of both greater media and this story as a whole. Glad you semi-enjoyed though!

6720934 Saying that because its the only logical approach to killing a demigod. ONe does not live a thousand years without having the endurance to withstand it. Disease or accidents can kill them, or the blade of an assassin.
Besides we once saw Celestia survive a blast to the chest that once pierced a castle. Whether it be her possessing some healing factor or Dbz logic, it seems unlikely a dagger or poison could harm them.

Even if they drove luna off there is still the issue of luna returning..... And i doubt that canterlot would be as abandoned as it is depicted here before she did.
OR maybe they could somehow find a way to hold off an army of ponies lead by a very pissed off alicorn for a long time. Shrugs.

6721025

Who knows! The story does not come down on the deific or not status of alicorns. Perhaps they are just polymorphed giant squids and someone has figured out how to sing Squiddly Songs to them that lure them back into the Deep Oceans to frolic and taunt the sperm whales and seaponies!

What a good darkfic! I just hope everything worked out in the end, what with all the implications.

CCC

Wow.

...okay, that was one extremely well done changeling story. (I'm guessing that Luna is lying in her room on the other end of the castle, as indisposed as Celestia is?)

Seems a bit dangerous for the changeling to read Celestia the story about changelings, though. As foggy as she is, they really don't want her putting two and two together and figuring it out.

But I guess that's hubris for you...

*Alondro smirks* And this is what happens when you don't agree with me and EXTERMINATE every one of those stinking, vile cherngelerngs of the face of planet! WITH EXTREEEEEEEEEEME RACISM!! (Screw mere prejudice. That's for wusses.)

:raritywink:

6721335 Nope. every pony died from having their lurve drained for too long. And soon Celestia will die.

And then everything will die.

Cherngelerngs are disgusting, thoughtless parasites who'll feed until they wipe out their own food source and starve... much like locusts and gypsy moth caterpillars. They should be treated in the same way as we deal with such pests!

th02.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2010/220/1/8/Dalek___Exterminate___Campaign_by_DegaSpiv.png

6722356 I really don't like this stupid changeling hate shtick you've been going on and on with.

Y'know why this is such an effective and unnerving dark story?

Subtlety. Like the dust on the tables at the end. Freaking brilliant. Many writers provide too little, or too much. But this is just right. Awesome story.

Also, I suspect Luna is actually Chrysalis herself. Seems like her to read an ironic storybook about changelings to Celestia. Cocky bitch.

6721335

Glad you liked it!

6722093

The nice thing about leaving much of it unsaid is that That well could be the case for Luna.. In truth, I don't have an answer, because I myself never decided on one; the uncertainty there is part of the story to the point where I can't answer because I myself don't know! As for the other part It's certainly a bit arrogant, but Celestia is likely in no shape to do anything about it, or put two and two together

6722747

It's a difficult point to hit. The first entry in the Writeoff I think went a little too subtle on defining what happened, so several readers didn't get it. I think it's better now, but the author's note is still there just in case one is lost and needs a little extra help. As for Luna - well, she is humming This Day Aria at the end, although it's not explicit so other interpretations may be valid!

Thanks for enjoying!

I'm gonna have nightmares...
Rrrrrgghh this is one of those good but bad changeling stories...

Nothing seemed off about the servants, but that might just be my headache. I picked up on the Luna thing, though.

6723686

Each step up the ladder is an escalation. If one goes back with opened eyes, the pieces should be visible.

Well, this shows the real frightening potential of the changelings. This was probably orchestrated by a queen that's not Chrysalis.

6722422 Hey, if people can hate Celestia for being white... :trollestia:

This is a very well put together story with a great use of subtlety. Skimming through a second time managed to solidify my suspicions as to what was going on, particularly the changes with Raven and Quick Check and the green glow in Luna's wake in the final scene.

I couldn't really pick up on any major differences with Spot Shine and Aegis but I may have just missed something and it was possible to work it out anyway.

6744710
Each transition is meant to be more obvious than the one before it - with Spot Shine, the hints are her going inside, and then the 'headache' - she'd just fed off Celestia. Then, splitting the guard up, one sent to Warm Heart, the other left for her to replace. The other is when Raven comes in complaining about being told it was 'just a headache' when Spot Shine knew it was more. With Aegis, the hint is him not being at his post, because he was preparing to snatch Raven

Glad you liked it!

I'm going to put down my predictions before I read the reveal. I think their may be changelings or some other malign entity poisoning the princess. Considering the emphasis on how much Celestia and other love, my first guess is changelings draining her love. It might also me an assassination attempt.

Cheers

7313122 After reading the comments, especially those of the author, I can now say.

I called it!!!!!!!!

Cheers

6726936 But they can't. Well, they technically can, but they are definitely wrong to do so. Just because Someone else is stupid doesn't mean it's okay for you to be stupid. I'm not saying you're stupid, but don't do stupid things because other people are being dumbasses.
6722356 They aren't abominations, and they definitely aren't thoughtless. They just need a natural predator to keep them in balance. Something that is perfectly suited to overcoming them and exploiting their weaknesses, something that is immune to their strengths, something that will hunt them and they shall fear above all else. Something to prey upon them. Something that they cannot fight, cannot trick, and cannot hide from, so that their only choice is to abandon everything they've worked for and flee.
Or we could build a wall and make the Zebras pay for it.

Cheers.

7313194 Giant pony spiders that eat cherngelerngs would work.

6723701 And in the sequel, Equestria is the desolate wasteland we saw in the final alt future... because the changelings suck at preserving their food source.

But seriously, are the cherngelerngs doing forced breeding to keep the ponies going? If not, the ONLY outcome is that the world dies.

7321381
One never knows how far things spread. I left it open ended - its possible they are confined to Canterlot and content to leave the rest of their food free-range. Celestia is basically an unlimited font of food.

7321374 I'm finding it hard to imagine pony spiders in my head. But If they have some advantage for hunting changelings, then they most certainly work.

7322977 I can imagine pony spiders... I could probably create some. (Alondro is an insane developmental geneticist... for realsies... be afraid.) :pinkiecrazy:

7325136 And EpicBrony Astral knows that it's usually best to leave when people start talking in the third person. Especially scientists.
Cheers.

7325497 Alondro is in your head now. There is no escape.

(Current photo of Alondro)

blogcdn.com/www.switched.com/media/2010/10/lawnmowerman2.jpg

:trollestia:

7326121 In that case, I am safe. Anything in my head will inevitably drown and dissolve in the ongoing maelstrom of my thoughts and ideas. Just like my attention span. Or anything I want to remember.
Which reminds me that I wanted to write a story. I wonder what it was about.

7326121
7332057

Hey, if you all want to keep the banter going that's fine, but taking it to PMs would be preferable since it's not really about the story anymore! Thanks!

7332057 *rummages around in your brain* It was about killer kumquats. :pinkiecrazy:

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Last scene's maybe a little too forward about what's going on, but I seem to recall the original being too subtle. This is still great. :3

I admit the significance, if any, of the "Swift Spear" versus "Sharp Spear" bit eludes me somewhat. Still, not bad!

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