Hiding Something
Sunset craned her head back as a stallion careened over her head, screaming obscenities before crashing into a bank of clouds. Unlike the one she had smacked into, this one had been set deliberately. The few winged members of the Royal Geological Survey had managed to corral a few wild clouds and arrange them into a makeshift mattress to catch flying ponies that really had no business in the sky (and that number was distressingly high). The obsidian lodestone had thus far resisted all efforts to interact with it, burning out the magic of unicorns and dizzying them, hurling earth and crystal ponies away, and causing violent gravitational fluxes on the hoof-full of pegasi (and a single thestral) in the group. Out of perhaps two dozen ponies, none had managed to make a dent in the hour since they'd arrived.
Surveyor Crystal Chronicle looked significantly at Sunset, who remained studiously unhelpful and brushed off any attempts to get her to volunteer. The old earth mare was a weathered sort, a slightly dulling aquamarine coat with a close-cropped viridian mane, her cutie mark a remarkably appropriate scroll wrapped around a nondescript crystal. She pushed her plain round glasses up her muzzle in annoyance as another unicorn stumbled away, mumbling something about tax evasion and weasels before reaching into her saddlebags for a clipboard and a pencil to scribble down a note.
Sunset wasn't very interested in being rendered punch-drunk or thrown again, and she certainly wasn't at all curious about what a high-speed gravity scramble would look like. This was all putting aside that if either of the latter happened, it would cast suspicion on her and as she'd already told Twilight, she didn't need that attention either.
That brought her thoughts back around to the issue she'd been striving to push out of her mind since they'd left the copse...but she shook her head and blinked, resolutely ignoring it. For now.
“Ah, Ms. Shimmer?”
“Hu-wha?” Sunset startled, turning to the surveyor. “Er, sorry. Things on my mind. What do you need, Mrs. Chronicle?”
The older mare gave the unicorn a measuring look before continuing. “I can see now that we're not going to be able to make any progress with this stone, not by ourselves. Could you find Princess Twilight and tell her I need to speak to her? I need to keep an eye on these louts so they don't hurt themselves.” She jabbed a hoof at her crew, half of which looked badly frazzled, a quarter of which looked deeply concerned at the first half, and the last quarter of which seemed to be enjoying themselves a bit too much.
Sunset nodded and made her way out of the field and back up the hill, where Twilight stood with the Pie clan in what was clearly a silence that was killing her slowly. Igneous, Cloudy, and their children seemed content to watch in silence as the RGS team bashed their heads (only once literally) against the obstinate blade of glass. The alicorn was struggling not to fidget as she observed the apparent moratorium on words and sagged with visible relief when she saw the fiery mare approaching.
“Sunset! Is something the matter? Did they finally managed to break a bigger piece off?”
“No, but the Surveyor wants to speak to you, so I imagine she wants you to help them.” Sunset grimaced as she glanced over her shoulder. “...speaking of which, any ideas on that? That rock seems to hate everypony equally.”
The more irate of the two Pie siblings chose to speak, her voice lower somehow than Sunset was expecting. “Of course it hates everypony equally. Look at it. It's unnatural.”
“Hush now, Limestone.” Igneous stated, though doubt played on his features. “It does not do to presume.”
“Presume, right.” The green-eyed mare muttered under her breath. “Not like we have visual confirmation or anything.”
A long silence followed before Twilight cleared her throat. “W-well! I'm going to go see what the Surveyor needs. If you have any other questions, Mr. Rock--”
“I require nothing else from thee, Princess.” The stallion's voice was resigned as he spoke. “Thy business is clearly done here. If thou wouldst carry our well-wishes to our daughter, I would be most grateful.”
“O-of course! Is there--oh.” Twilight's confirmation was cut off as the family turned back to their home, Limestone lingering to give the rock one more venomous glare before joining her family.
Sunset shrugged and trotted down the hill alongside her lavender host. “Guess I'm going with you, then.”
“I don't know, Sunset. They seemed pretty upset...”
“Of course they are.” The amber mare stated simply. “Their tranquility is being trampled on by a big crowd of ponies they've never met, most of whom are academics in addition to whatever else they do involving stones. We already know Dad Pie looks down on...what did he say? 'Ponies of learning, not of hard work'? Yeah, that was it. Don't tell me that didn't rankle you.”
Twilight's cheeks puffed out as her face scrunched, clearly unwilling to confirm Sunset's accusation.
“Yeah, exactly. Academics don't work hard.” Sunset grimaced. “Prodigy or not the workload was intense at the School for Gifted Unicorns. It's not like we spend all our time just practicing new magic.”
“Right?!” Twilight exclaimed. “Four to seven classes a day each with their own required texts and coursework, Professors who didn't seem aware we had other classes that also wanted us to do huge amounts of homework, brutal practical exams, immense midterm tests and end of year examinations.” She sighed wistfully. “It was great, when I had time to enjoy it. Between Spike, and the Princess' private lessons, and visiting my family...”
“You had Written Record for History too, right? He was always so jazzed about the old Classical Era. Think we spent an entire semester on that alone before moving on.”
“I did! I do think his devotion to one era of history is a bit much, though.” Twilight sniffed. “The Pre-Classical Era was where magic schools started to be properly defined and modern magic started to take shape. Time Crash, Fairy Circle, Clover the Clever, and of course, Starswirl the Bearded,” she said with a slight titter, “...were all instrumental in the classification and early systemic education of magic.”
Sunset made a sound best described as a 'myeh' before responding, “Ehh, Pre-Classical's okay, I guess. I wasn't a big fan of having to learn all the hows and whys of how they categorized magic. I wanted to get to the nitty-gritty, the actual practical differences between them. I think I preferred Professor Soul Stream's classes, they were always so much more interesting.”
“Professor Soul Stream's classes were always so...spontaneous, though.” Twilight's face contorted as she recalled. “That mare had no respect for structured teaching. It's important to know the theory before you just jump into magic. She laughed at me the first day when I asked her if she had a class schedule I could take back to my room.” The alicorn's face reddened. “It wasn't that funny.” She ruffled her wings, self-conscious even at the memory.
Sunset chuckled as they came back to the RGS crowd. “Well, shows what she knows. The hyper-organized bookworm is royalty now, chumps!”
Twilight's scowl didn't quite conceal the struggling beginnings of a smile at the corners of her mouth as they found Crystal Chronicle.
The mare somehow seemed even more disgruntled than she had when Sunset had left her, her exasperation reminiscent of a day-care employee. “There you are, your Highness.”
“Please, I usually just prefer--”
“Princess, would you kindly attempt to use alicorn magic to break a piece of this stone off?” the earth mare cut right to the chase, her face flat. She jabbed a hoof at her crew, the entirety now nursing various minor wounds, out cold, delirious, or trying to keep their delirious compatriots from wandering off or doing something stupid. “None of us, not a ONE, could do anything to it. An alicorn's our last bet. Short of trying to find somepony with no magic...which is basically impossible, as I understand it.”
“Not always impossible!” Twilight stated, didactic mode engaging. “There are numerous references in historical works to an ancient subspecies of--”
“YOUR HIGHNESS. Please.” Chronicle stopped, rubbing her temple. “I'm...I'm sorry. I'm just...very, very done with this lodestone. It's been tossing my team around and making jokes of all us, and between two dozen ponies here we have nearly a collective century and a half's worth of know-how with potentially magical rock. I don't get it.” She sat on her rump, exhaling. “It doesn't make sense. Please, can you try?”
Twilight blanched and frowned, glancing at Sunset, who shrugged. “I guess the worst that could happen is you get thrown exceptionally far in a random direction at high speed while too confused to save yourself. If you're lucky it's straight down and you just get floored.” She ended her statement harshly, a pointed glare leveled at the earth pony, who paled herself as she considered the possibilities. “I'm just saying. Alicorn. All three in one. What happens if the stone does all three repulsions at once? We're out a Princess unless your flyers are EXCEPTIONALLY fast and able to react to random variables at an instant. And for the record, I know of only one who can do that comfortably.”
The Surveyor nodded, sweat beading on her brow. “N-no, no. You're right. That could be...very dangerous. Need safer conditions first. I'm going to...I'm going to put a letter in to the central office.” She was quiet momentarily, looking to her crew before continuing, “Ah, our business is done, Your Highness. I'll send your consultation fee in the post.”
“W-well, I mean, we didn--OW!” Twilight glared at Sunset's hoof, but hastily composed a smile as the older mare turned around, confused. “S-sorry, stepped on a sharper stone. Thank you for your time, and I'm sorry we couldn't help more.”
With that, the pair said their farewells and walked back up the hill toward the Pie farmhouse, Sunset internally starting to resent the (admittedly gentle) slope for having the temerity to require her to ascend it twice in relatively quick succession. Her internal monologue about the doom of all slopes in the future was cut short by Twilight's indignant inquiry as they reached the crest.
“What was THAT for?!”
“What was what for?” The amber mare asked innocently, her expression airy.
“You KNOW what, Sunset!”
“Oh, that. You were going to do some self-deprecating thing like tell the Surveyor you didn't actually need the money because we didn't achieve anything, weren't you? I just refreshed your memory.”
“Refreshed my--Sunset, we didn't do anything!” Twilight exclaimed, her irritation clear.
“We did do something. We examined the stone, discovered it's defenses, and convinced the Pies to allow the RGS team on their land.” The fiery mare stated. “We even warned them of the nature of the rock's properties, such as we understood them, as best we were able with the information we had on hand, minus some irrelevant omissions. You did everything expected of you.”
“But we didn't--UUUGH!” Twilight's signature groan of frustration made Sunset smile, in an only mildly mean-spirited way.
“You just didn't swoop in and solve the problem yourself, so now you feel like you underachieved, don't you?” Sunset asked as they passed the front gate and made for the train station.
The alicorn's silence made the amber mare glance over, only to see a conflicted expression on her face. “Yeah, that, right there. I don't want to hear anything about being hard on myself if you're going to constantly be so hard on yourself. That's hypocrisy.”
Twilight rounded on her, making Sunset jump in surprise. “I want you to stop constantly tearing yourself down, Sunset Shimmer!” The alicorn's face was contorted into a mix of anger and sorrow as she spoke. “There's a difference between holding yourself to a high standard and consistently trying to convince everypony else you're as terrible as you keep saying you are!” She began pacing around the unicorn, wings rustling irritably.
“It's the same thing, Twilight! It's for different reasons, but you're just as hard on yourself as I am on me. The difference is I've actually done something wrong! I was the one who messed up and actively tried to ruin lives! You're constantly beating yourself up over unreasonable standards that you hold yourself to! It's ridiculous!” She punctuated her speech with another intense hoof-jab.
“But you changed, Sunset! You really did change, through hard effort and an honest will to be better! Just because you made mistakes doesn't mean you need to belittle yourself all the time! Nopony thinks you're less for that! For heaven's sake, they should be impressed by how far you've come, not judge you!” Her host pointed her own hoof equally dramatically. It was courtroom worthy, really.
“IT DOESN'T MATTER! IT'S THE SAME THING--”
“IT'S NOT THE SAME--”
“A-HEM.”
The two ponies froze as the annoyed face of Limestone Pie appeared between them, a rather prominent artery on her forehead as she ground out a statement in the most neutral voice she could presumably muster, “If you two are gonna have a lover's quarrel, take it somewhere other than the road just outside our fence.”
The pair stared at her blankly.
“Well? Go on. GET GOING!” She roared, causing the pair to instinctively turn and sprint for the station for the second time that day, saddlebags banging haphazardly against their sides.
Unfortunately(?) for Sunset and Twilight, they didn't arrive just as their train was leaving, so they had a little while to cool off, both in body and mind. It was during this time that Sunset's thoughts returned to the issue she'd been carefully skirting for the past two hours. Twilight's insistence that they would have 'a serious talk' returned to her, and with it an icy knot of dread in her stomach.
What would Twilight say? What COULD she say? On the one hoof, she was the only pony Sunset knew personally that had experience being a unicorn and becoming something else. Did the process hurt? It must not have, because she hadn't noticed it until the whole cloud incident. Would she tell Sunset to just come out and say it? How could she prove it? Cloud walking was fairly scant evidence, that was a charm any middling unicorn could do (and Sunset was no middling unicorn). She could--she shook her head. She didn't want to prove it! There wasn't any point to looking for ways to do so. What if she...
“Sunset Shimmer!”
She blinked, looking up. When had she boarded the train? Was this a private booth? She squinted. Was there a sound dampening charm on the booth itself? She could feel a spell-- She looked at Twilight, who was looking at her with an expression of intense interest.
“...Serious talk time, huh?”
“That's right. Serious talk time.” Twilight shifted on the seat to lie comfortably and looked expectantly at Sunset before continuing. “Now then. You already intimated you wanted to keep your...uh, new nature secret. Why?”
“Why would I want it revealed, Twilight? You remember all the pressure that was mounted on you when you became Princess? Imagine how it's gonna look to Equestria when another alicorn pops up unannounced and disappears for months, years at a time, with no good explanation of where she goes!” Sunset exclaimed, gesticulating for emphasis. “Let's put aside for a moment that until very recently, Equestria had all of two Alicorns, and one was new before a third appeared from the moon, literally, almost out of a breezie-tale! And then a fourth doesn't just appears, but provably ascends! That's three new immortal rulers in the span of what, ten, twelve years, after nearly a millenium of just the one. And suddenly there's a fourth? Who was somepony who vanished and was probably presumed/declared dead ten years ago, returns with no fanfare and goes missing again for huge stretches of time? How do you think that's gonna look to Equestria?”
Twilight hesitated, frowning. “I mean...it would probably be confusing...”
“Confusing isn't the word, Twilight. You're looking for 'a scandal'. Imagine the havoc that could cause with the tabloids alone... It'd be a tremendous hassle to everypony. Me, you, Equestria as a nation, everypony.” The unicorn finished, face flat.
A lengthy pause passed between them as the train coursed along, the rhythmic clacking of the tracks the only noise as Twilight considered, eventually speaking.
“You're probably right there...but I think you might be underestimating Equestria, Sunset.” At the other mare's raised eyebrow, she continued, “This nation has, in the last five years, seen the return of a mad alicorn, revealed to be their lost second Princess out of myth, the unleashing, defeat, and subsequent reformation of the ancient spirit of chaos, and a hostile invasion by an army of shapeshifting emotional parasites. A kingdom no one has seen for a millenium literally faded back into existence north of us, bringing with it among the most powerful and evil ponies history has ever seen, and the return of Lord Tirek, who almost beat us, through our own mistakes.” She blinked slowly, hesitating. Sunset felt a small chill as Twilight's face fell, her expression haunted.
“...I've seen what happens when we just weren't there.” She looked to the unicorn with a wan smile. “We've failed, too. But Equestria has come back each time, seemingly none the worse for the wear, eventually. Changed, perhaps, but still there. A new alicorn, I think, is one we can handle. After all, Equestria survived the first three!”
“Maybe...” Sunset retorted, “But what about me? What do you think the Princess will say when it's revealed that power hungry, ambitious former personal student Sunset Shimmer, who was banished from Canterlot--which I think is an edict that still technically stands, even if no pony recognizes me--for fighting with Celestia over this very issue, is now an alicorn, through no act of the Crown and gained in another world, which was only possible because she committed a theft of potentially dire national consequence?”
“But you've changed, Sunset. You're not like that any more.” Twilight objected, a more genuine smile on her face. “Even then, there's nothing inherently wrong with ambition. If no pony ever wanted more, no pony would ever do anything worth doing! I mean, look at Rainbow Dash. She wanted more than anything to be a Wonderbolt, and now she is, though hard work and determination. Rarity wanted to make her big debut in Canterlot and Manehattan, and now she's got branch shops in both places and, if you don't mind keeping this between us, is doing quite well financially for it!” The alicorn's grin became nostalgic as she finished, “Even me...I wanted more than anything to be a great magician...and if you don't mind me saying so, I think I'm a pretty competent magician at this point. A lesson Trixie taught me, ironically.”
“If by competent you mean among the most powerful in living memory.” Sunset quipped, a wry smile of her own answering. “But even then, I aspired to power for power's sake, Twilight. I just liked the feeling of being on top of everypony, to show how much better than them I was. I still do, if I'm honest.” Her brow creased. “It's not how a Princess should be. That was the point Celestia was trying to make, back then. You're supposed to be an example ponies want to follow, not a tyrant that forces submission.”
The lavender pony, tapped, her chin, thoughtful. “No pony expects you to be some impenetrable saint. Well, nopony reasonable, anyway.”
Sunset fixed her with a stare. “And yet they venerate Celestia as a deity.”
Twilight's face fell. “Well...she acts the part. Stupendous power, intelligence, wisdom, and this inscrutable demeanor that makes it hard for even me to tell what she's thinking. And I spent a lot of time with her growing up. She's not really a fair comparison. Look at Cadance, and Princess Luna!”
“Twilight, the last time I spoke to Cadenza I told her in no uncertain terms that she would regret daring to out-do me, so I have no perspective on her. And Princess Luna...she seems alright, I guess.” The unicorn allowed herself a grudging smile. “Slightly more intimidating than Vice-Principal Luna, but still. It's comparing royalty to faculty at a high school.”
The alicorn's smile came back, her voice cheery. “We'll have to get you and Cadance reacquainted...in any case, I don't think hiding this is the best solution, Sunset. Equestria can take it. You can take it. I'm sure we can explain it to the Princess.”
“Maybe, but I'm not going to chance it.” The amber mare responded. “I don't know what will happen and I'm not ready to find out. Let me just do my job, experiment a little more, enjoy my time here, and we can keep this between us. Please, Twilight?” Sunset willed herself to summon the very strongest puppy-eyes she could muster, slight moue and all. The other mare was helpless under the onslaught, visibly weakening even as she looked into Sunset's eyes.
“...oh, alright. But on one condition.”
“Name it.” Sunset retorted, cuteness replaced by calculation.
“You let me run some tests. I'd like to know to what extent you can access the other sorts of magic in your body, how much of it is passive, etcetera etcetera. This is a rare opportunity for study!” Twilight rubbed her hooves together with an altogether unseemly glee on her face. “I'll have to record as much data as I can while the chance is there!”
“H-hey, now...” Sunset leaned away, dread she wasn't aware she could feel at the alicorn rising in her stomach. She'd seen the other Twilight get this dogged obssession when she was confronted with a problem she couldn't immediately solve or knowledge she didn't already have, but she hadn't been aware that Princess Twilight had the same proclivity (which, retrospectively, she really should've guessed).
“That's fine, but we're gonna have to establish some boundaries...”
“Sunset, I'm not going to vivisect you. Honestly, it was one time--”
“You have to--I'm sorry, what?” Sunset blanched, dumbstruck.
“What?” Twilight's face was studiously innocent.
“...” The amber mare narrowed her eyes. The other pony's unwaveringly glib expression answered her. “...as I was saying, boundaries. Now...”
The train finally pulled into Ponyville as night was beginning to fall, Twilight and Sunset among the last occupants to shuffle on to the platform. The latter indulged in a stretch of the back that made vertebrae pop, exhaling as she made to follow the alicorn down the street.
“Did we seriously leave around noon today...?”
“It seems hard to believe, but we did. Of course, spending all that time on the train didn't really do us any favors. Looking back, we probably should have just done this tomorrow.” Twilight frowned as she walked, voice thoughtful. “I guess that's the benefit of hindsight.”
“Guess so. Either way, I'm starving, and no, those snacks from the train cart do not qualify as food.” Sunset pre-empted the words on Twilight's lips even as she turned to ask, surprising the alicorn. An idea struck the amber mare, making her expression thoughtful. The former librarian frowned, an expectant face slowly morphing into annoyance as she waited for the other mare to speak her piece.
“...would you like to go to dinner with me?”
Evidently, that was not what Twilight had expected, dumbfounded. Sunset immediately felt sweat bead up in her coat, but managed to school her expression into nonchalant inquiry. That was a mistake. This was a mistake. They weren't at that stage yet, they hadn't even had a proper talk about it--
“A-absolutely!” A grin split Twilight's face even as her face flushed a near luminous red, wings flaring as she cantered merrily around the other mare. Sunset was unable to push back a rosy smile of her own, the display absolutely endearing (and definitely something she'd file away for teasing later). The alicorn came to a stop and spun in place, already chattering.
“Oh, I'm so excited! Wait, I know I had a guide on this. Let me just check in my bag for the reference book, I know I set aside 'Dating: A Field Guide', it's got great notes on what to wear--oh no, I'm not dressed for the occasion! I guess it's okay to go without clothes on a first date...oh, but what if that's not correct? I better check, just in case--”
Sunset held up a hoof, struggling to contain her giggles. “Twi, Twi. Relax. We're just gonna go to dinner. There's no need to fret over first date dress code.”
Twilight hesitated, eyeing her saddlebags wistfully. “Well...you're probably right. So, where do you want to go? There's a nice Prench place on the north side of town...”
“Prench it is, then.” Sunset declared, internally relieved the other mare had said anything. Too late had she realized her knowledge of potential eateries in town was zero (well, it was up one now). Too brave, Sunset. Too brave, she chided herself. With that, she nodded to Twilight. “Lead the way, Sparkle.”
The alicorn's brilliant smile filled Sunset with a warmth quite unlike anything she'd felt before, falling into step with the other pony at their leisurely pace.
A small, mean-spirited part of her mind chimed in. What would Celestia think? What would the almighty Princess say if she learned that Sunset was courting her most precious pupil, her greatest success and greatest failure together? She'd already suspected it and hadn't seemed so put out then...but then, they had also vehemently denied it. What if she disapproved...?
Ah, well. Sunset decided. She'd cross that bridge when she got there.
Princess Celestia wasn't given to fretting.
To be more accurate, she wasn't given to worrying in the same way a normal pony might be. She didn't dither, she didn't pace, and she certainly didn't bite her hooves. She rarely vacillated, and while she generally took her own good time reviewing all the facts she could obtain on an issue before acting, once she had the data she generally came to a conclusion quickly, with little rumination on the pros and cons of any given situation.
Princess Celestia, one of four such royals, and arguably the leader among them and thus ponykind, had absolute, iron control and focus, earned over the course of better than a thousand years of ruling, conflict, tragedy, triumph, planning, and careful nudging. Instead of nervous tics, she sat and stared, contemplative, at the wall above the fireplace in her chambers. A few paintings, likely priceless in market at this juncture, were interspersed with newer framed photographs. Most were pictures of ponies she cared about; some held dignitaries, old friends, and acquaintances from various species.
Celestia sipped her tea, the only allowance to her current internal debate she allowed to be seen in the world, even in this most private sanctum. She held the cup in her magic absentmindedly, the saucer suspended beneath it wholly unnecessary but there purely from habit as she surveyed the wall. Her gaze lingered on one of the more recent additions to the gallery, a photo taken of a small golden filly with a shock of red and yellow mane curling over a pair of smiling aquamarine eyes. The white alicorn's face remained impassive as she stared at the photo, taking in the child's expression of cheer and wonder at a simple parlor trick that a past version of Celestia performed for her, a rare sincere smile of her own on display.
The present Celestia's brow creased nearly imperceptibly.
She felt her sister's presence approach, felt her hesitate at the door before knocking. She turned about, composing her best gentle smile as the navy coat and cyan eyes of her sister came through, an expression of concern on a face framed by a magnificently luminous mane, a vision of the night sky flowing softly around her in a breeze no mortal could perceive. “...Sister, I would have words with you.”
“Of course, Luna. You're always welcome in my room...what's the matter?” Celestia's tone was, refreshingly for her, entirely genuine. She spent so long, all day, each day. It was so liberating to...just be honest with somepony. Except...Luna's expression was disapproving. “...Luna?”
“Please, leave this facade behind. I will not stand for it between us, Tia. Not after everything.”
Alarm bells rang in Celestia's mind. She allowed a fraction of it to reach her face, a slight widening of the eyes. “What do you mean?”
“I can smell the jasmine from here, Sister.”
Celestia's expression of displeasure became more obvious as her sister paced sedately past her and examined the teapot on her desk, confirming her suspicion.
“What troubles you, Tia?”
The solar diarch sighed, placing her teacup on the desk near the pot and motioning for her sister to come to the hearth. The other mare took a seat next to Celestia, looking at the mantle and taking in the multifarious pictures and paintings. Her face would occasionally start, or a fragment of a smile or frown would appear as the Princess of the Moon would recognize a face. In a way, the elder was envious of her younger sibling. She was still so open. She wore her heart on her chest, despite her sometimes withdrawn mien. She didn't have it in her to conceal her feelings, saw no need to hide that she was unhappy, joyous, or angry.
The tiniest sliver of cold resentment made a thorn of itself in her affection.
She pushed it away.
“...what am I seeking? 'Tis a fine gallery of old friends and new; I do believe I see a much younger Twilight Sparkle and Spike. Darling children, they were.” Luna smiled at the photo, a tiny image of a small lavender unicorn trying her hardest to stand regal like her teacher even as an infant dragon gummed on her mane. Despite that, there was something unsettling about the smile the Celestia in the photo wore. The mare in question watched as Luna shifted her gaze left, to the photo previous on the wall. “...And this must be an image of Sunset Shimmer. She was quite distinctive, even as a filly.”
Luna turned to face Celestia. “...you fret for her.” The smaller alicorn's gaze was piercing, her lesser size in no way making Celestia want to shrink away from the stare any less. Luna's expression changed to measured consternation as she divined Celestia's mind. “No, not for her. You do not trust her.”
“I don't know that it's all that, Luna...”
“Do not try to disguise it, Tia. I know you better than any pony ever has or likely ever will, even if you think this veil of deceit you have constructed 'round your demeanor fools all else.” Luna admonished, her voice not quite angry, but hurt. “What reason have you to fear her, Sister?”
Celestia stood, pacing to her desk and pulling open a hidden drawer, cleverly concealed through a perfect fit and having no handle to seize, requiring magic to open. From it appeared a textbook that came from no press in their world.
“...a modern schoolbook?” Luna took the offered book in her magic, flipping through it and reading at a speed that would've made Twilight Sparkle proud. “A tome on...humans, they were called? The ape creatures on the other side of the mirror your former student fled through. Bizarre creatures.” As she skipped ahead, her face began to fall, taking in more recent events and developments. “...This is a book for foals?”
“To be more accurate, it's a textbook for late adolescents, near adults. Sunset brought it with her through the portal.” Celestia corrected, her voice didactic. “I imagine she thought to use it as a sort of peace offering, though to what end I don't know.”
Luna gave the book back to her sister as she digested the broad-strokes information she'd just read. “...Their history is...checkered. They seem to have quite perfected warfare.” She turned to face the hearth again. “Not that our history is any less sordid at points.” The Moon Princess's gaze lingered on a very old oil painting of two fillies and an older mare, the children obviously uncomfortable from their expressions. Their mother, on the other hoof, was the picture of serenity.
“They lack magic, so they perfected technology.” Celestia spoke, her voice grave. “Almost anything we can do, they've learned to replicate with construction, science, and a comprehensive knowledge of laws unbound by harmony.”
“Impressive. But what has this to do with your student, Tia?”
The alabaster Princess was silent before continuing. “She was thrown into that world with no knowledge of them, Luna. And according to Twilight, she didn't just survive, she THRIVED. At her worst, she managed to dominate an entire body of students without the aid of magic. Only canny application of fear, violence, and deception.”
Luna smirked. “A frighteningly effective politician she would make, then. Did she ever read 'The Princess'?”
“Of course. It was required reading...but that's besides the point.” Celestia's face became openly conflicted. “She slipped right into their world like it was nothing, Luna. When she went through that mirror, her ambition was downright self-destructive, and she was still able to ghost into an educational institution run by parallel versions of you and I and play them all against each other like foals. And after she was gone for so long, she learned the lessons she needed so badly to learn, but...”
“...but? But what, Sister?”
“Her theft of Twilight's Element of Harmony brought magic to their world. She has told me that she and her friends have already found and contained all the magic they could, but the door is open now.”
“And you fear these humans will find it. Find a way to use, abuse it?”
“One already has.” Celestia remarked darkly. “A parallel version of Twilight Sparkle, appropriately enough. They managed to catch an arrow in that regard, but we won't be so lucky again.”
Luna closed her eyes, a thoughtful hum in her throat. Celestia waited patiently; she had all the time in the world, after all.
“...what is your concern, then? If it's Sunset Shimmer, then I saw her records in your archives. She is no less capable than Twilight Sparkle; perhaps more so, if you take into account her apparent flexibility regarding rules. And she has her friends, appropriately parallel versions of our own Elements of Harmony.” Luna's smile was wry.
Celestia stood, her nerves finally breaking through her weakened, half-hearted facade of control as she paced around her chamber. “She's hiding something from me, Luna. I could see it in her eyes the last time we spoke, when I retrieved those...sirens from Twilight's home.” She didn't notice Luna's flinch at the word, the glance to the the doorway, as she continued. “She was upset...perhaps justifiably, but there was something else she wasn't telling me.”
The white alicorn looked up, her expression pained. “She's...she's precious to me, Luna. For a time, she was like...” Celestia bit her lip before continuing. “Sunset was like a daughter to me. She still is, in a part of my heart. To see her return, having learned about true friendship, in the flesh, so I could hold her close again, was almost as sweet as finally seeing you again.” She exhaled and gave a soft smile as Luna approached and nuzzled her affectionately. “I want...I want more than anything to trust her, to believe in her. By the sun itself, I want to trust her completely.”
Luna frowned as she turned away from Celestia, hearing the 'but' before it came.
“...but I can't. Not while the safety of my little ponies is at risk. It's...it's maddening, Luna.” Celestia felt a strange, cleansing sensation as she poured her thoughts out for the other alicorn. “I love her so, but this seed of doubt, this gnawing worry. I have to put my ponies first.” Another small, glinting sliver of resentment made its prickle known beneath the maternal love that she felt for the unicorn.
She pushed it away.
“...To that end, I'd like to ask you a favor, Luna.”
“A favor...?” Luna tilted her head quizzically, only for awareness and then anger to bloom on her face. “...Nay, Sister. You know better than that. You ask me to violate the trust of a pony you just told me was like a daughter to you.”
Celestia had prepared for this; she pulled forth her best stricken expression and pressed on, “Please, Luna. I wouldn't ask this from you lightly. I know maybe better than anypony else the what I'm asking...but I can't. I can't carry this burden of mistrust, and Equestria might not be able to afford the time it might take for us to reconcile enough for Sunset to be honest with me."
"Tia, this may sound ironic coming from one such as me, but you must have more faith in this mare." The younger sibling argued. "She has done no worse than I ever did, and I tried to murder you. My sister, dearest pony to me in all the world."
"That was not you, Luna!" Celestia put her hoof down more fiercely than she'd meant, surprising herself. She paused, bringing control back. "...that was not my sister, but a monster wearing her as a skin. You--"
"I am just as much to blame for Nightmare Moon's actions as the being herself. She was me. I was her. I am her still." Luna declared, expression stony. "I may have been forgiven, but I will not stand for my part in it being forgotten...but I digress. You owe that pony your trust as much as you owe it to me. Perhaps more."
"I know, Luna. I know it...but this isn't about me or Sunset Shimmer alone. There's more at stake." Celestia pleaded. "This is about what Equestria needs, not what I want."
Luna's face was hard, her gaze calculating. After a moment's scrutiny, she sighed, “...Celestia. I love you, more dearly than all the rest. If this will grant you peace, then...” She sighed, shutting her eyes tightly as though in pain. “...I will see what I find. But if I do, and find nothing, then you will tell her the truth.” The lunar diarch pointed at her sister, the gesture weighty in ways a lesser pony couldn't comprehend. “Are we agreed?”
Celestia hesitated. She understood what Luna was trying to do, but this wasn't just about trying to settle differences with her most wayward student; this was a matter for all of her little ponies. She shouldn't have to--she blinked and held out her hoof, sealing the contract. A strange sort of burden settled on them as they put their hooves down, Luna grimly satisfied and Celestia wiping away the beginnings of a tear.
“...Then it is decided. I will do this tonight, if possible, and put this matter to rest as quickly as we are able.” With that Luna turned away and headed for the door, nodding to Celestia one last time as her face softened slightly. “Goodnight, Sister. Sleep well.”
“Goodnight, Luna. Stay safe.” Celestia smiled as the door closed behind her sister.
As soon as the latch clicked, she sat back on her rump, turning her gaze back to the mantle, to that photograph of a certain filly, eyes wide with wonder. Perhaps she'd layered it on just a bit thick...but the emotions behind it were absolute truth.
She hadn't goaded her sister into an action she disapproved of lightly. It pained her to do so to begin with...but she could see no other solution.
A sliver of cold, sharp guilt poked harshly into her heart.
She pushed it away.
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please us 'es' or "'s" on the end not just an apostrophe
Luna folded awfully fast there.
Parentheses in narration is one thing, but use em dashes or commas in dialogue, depending on how strong the pause is.
7372027 that's the grammatically correct way to show a possessive plural. The alternative would be "Princesses's" and that just looks wrong
Oh no, Luna's going to find out the secret and it'll turn into justification of Sunset's paranoia without anyone ever bothering to sit down and TALK.
... Please tell me I'm wrong. I don't want to be right because that's just frustrating.
(And then Twilight falls to the Nightmare when they take her mare away, and then it's up to Sunset to embrace her own nature to wield the Element of Magic and... blah.)
More...
7372293 Eeeh...probably not. I'd like to reserve truly falling to Nightmare for very serious, long and deep held insecurities, grudges, and hatreds. It seems to me a serious, weighty thing. Throwing a brief tantrum and tapping it while deeply upset is one thing, but no one's going all freak-out murder mode. Don't worry, no corruption over romance here.
7372149 First, I'll definitely do that thing with the parentheses. I spend so much time doing internet messaging that I forget proper writing conventions, and when I test it, it looks better in most contexts. Second, Luna did fold pretty quickly, so a minor edit is inc if only to clean that section up some. That's what I get for getting rushed at the end!
Luna's got a dark blue coat and turquoise/cyan eyes.
7373244 What are you t-talking about? I definitely wrote navy and cyan! [nervous laughter]
But seriously, thanks for the catch. DO NOT RUSH WHEN WRITING, KIDS. DON'T BE LIKE ME.
7373240 While I appreciate that you took the time to read this far and can in no way force you to read something you're not about, you've also left a series of extremely heated comments on several chapters running. Your opinions aren't wrong, but perhaps dial the rage back some, buddy. I'm not bashing on Celestia, and I do not hate her (though I can't speak for the rest). In my opinion, Celestia has made decisions which have been morally suspect and not in keeping with her outward messages. This is not wrong; we're entirely in accord that when you've been holding a nation together for a thousand years plus you have to do pragmatic things. That's what it is to be a ruler. Just because Twilight is a bit naive and Sunset a trifle cynical that what she says and does are sometimes different says something about their characters (y'know, the two we spend the most time following--or at least, I hope it does).
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I like Celestia. I think she's got a great deal of potential for an interesting character. But an inscrutable, flawless sovereign for whom their decisions are tautologically unassailable is not an interesting character in my opinion. I am sorry that my particular writing did not communicate the flaws I personally see in her cleanly. Still not a reason to be so hostile to other readers. Your passion is admirable, but do try to relax moving forward.
7373149 Dashes are a good way to put two wildly unrelated thoughts in the same sentence. Like Twilight's somewhat offhand comment to Sunset. Not to be confused with Rainbow Dashes, which are really only good at run-on sentences, and liberal application of "Omigosh!" :)
I wonder who Luna will run into while sneaking in Sunset's memories? Sunset herself, the demon, or Daydream Shimmer? Or all three? Hmmm...
This was a really good chapter. I am glad that I found this fic, keep up the good work.
I hope you don't mind me pointing out typos. But I noticed this while reading.
A quick fix would be fixing strongest and mope, and either remove "able" or "willing herself".
I would also suggest dropping either the very in "very strongest puppy-eyes" or the -est and make it "very strong puppy-eyes", though I also believe that strong may be the wrong adjective to use?
She'd say "Twilight? I thought you were dating Sunset. How did Luna get involved in this?"
7374717 Dohohoho you
7374944
That has absolutely no bearing on this story or even as a moralistic quandary. That happened a thousand years ago, and frankly as an idea it's not a bad one, save that Starswirl lacked a bunch of information. Idea for incarceration of powerful magical creature: Send them to a world with no magic in the bodies of local creatures with no natural weapons, as friggin' perma-teenagers. Apparently that world had just enough magic to allow them to use their gems and powers to a slight degree, so yes. Starswirl screwed the pooch - but I highly doubt it was on purpose, he may have believed they'd be 100% harmless over there. HOWEVER.
When it comes down to "Our people are under fire, our entire country/species might be lost." then what do you do? If you can't beat the enemy, and you have the means to make them someone else's problem, you have a responsibility to do just that. It's not nice, it's not kosher. But it is practical, it is logical. When it's "Us or them" you choose 'us' every time when you are in a position of defense or leadership, otherwise you have failed everyone who was counting on you, relying on you, needing you to pull through. Men, women, children, whether they knew it or not, all require you to make the decision that saved their home and/or lives. Even if the decision is one they'll yell at you for after, condemn you and hate you for.
So if the case was that Starswirl was unable to kill the Sirens and had no other options at the time, I completely agree with the decision, as should anyone who understands the protection of their own. If he refused to kill them and just exiled them to a world with no magic as a way of incarceration, then the ONLY thing I can blame him for is not doing his homework first. Then again, for all we know, a thousand years ago the world didn't have enough magic for them to be as strong as they were prior to Battle of the Bands. Just enough to survive, not enough to cause problems. We don't know.
Either way, if it was done to protect Equestria (it was), then it's not a mistake, and does not need to be 'fixed'. "Whoops, I shouldn't have let that psycho murderer who got into my house outside into the neighborhood. I'll bring him back home where I keep my huge collection of weapons, and hope he doesn't hurt my wife and six children." <-- This imagery should illustrate what your post outlines doing. Your post also assumes it's helping Earth/Humanland to get them out of there. But considering they have even less power on that side of the portal now than ever before and are dying like they frankly deserve to, that meant the problem was solving itself. Bringing the dangerous country-destroying, potentially world-destroying entities back to where they can access the kind of power that made them that strong to begin with, and give them extra time on the clock, when they have told you they haven't learned their lesson and aren't going to change their ways?
-Oh no, this poor blood-covered man is freezing to death in the cold.
"Hey if you save my life, I'm gonna murder your kid."
-Don't do that please, also come on in, welcome to my home.
"Where's that kid of yours? Thanks for the knife."
More imagery to illustrate this groupthink everyone's displayed on the issue. "Oh, Starswirl did a meany bad thing, Twilight was good girl fixing it." You mean she committed treason is what. As Celestia said, who laid this out simple and easy for every reader who wasn't getting riled that the main characters got a (very MILD) dressing down, 'You endangered Equestria for no good reason. You can't just do that without consulting the rest of us.'
Which makes perfect sense because regardless of rank, Twilight is younger than I am, and I can't even be president of America despite it having only existed for 1/5th as long as Celestia has ruled alone, to say nothing of all the time she ruled with Luna as well. Twilight's position is as a junior exactly because she still makes decisions like that and lacks the wisdom to make royal decrees that HELP EQUESTRIA directly under pressure. Not help Earth (it didn't help Earth any), because she's not a princess of Earth. Her duty is to her people, the ones who rely on her to maintain their society and keep their children safe. People can talk about how that's unfair responsibility, but tough fucking luck, that's the sacrifice and burden of leadership - anyone who's having a gay old time as the big boss and has never felt that stress, only caring about their frivolity, is not a leader, they are a tyrant. Twilight made a decision that affects the security and safety of Equestria and therefore the entire world, without consulting the senior guardians and administers of Equestria and bringing it to her fellows. She was out of line, and ponies could have paid the price. Receiving a minor scolding for being a bad ruler (and high praise for being a good person/individual) was literally the least possible thing that could happen, and likely only because Celestia loves those girls so much and would not allow them to be punished in a way befitting the danger they almost visited onto their fellow ponies even though they had no business making that decision alone.
I'm loathe to say it, but Spike was a hero. Anyone continuously on about how Twilight and Sunset were doing the right thing has no concept of what the right thing is, and is just speaking from reader bias, not realizing that we're seeing things from their perspective, that these are the characters we're meant to be emotionally entangled with, so we grow defensive of them in our minds. It frustrates me to no end that people try to denounce the one character who said the most sane thing I'd seen so far in this situation using half-baked arguments that essentially amount to 'She's a bully, poor Twi and Sunny. They were sad, that means Celestia was wrong and they were right.' Leadership is NOT about doing the moral thing, it's about doing the best thing for your people, the ones who rely on you because there's no one else they can turn to.
Which is why I, though I loved the story to bits until that point, have stopped reading. The comments are an echo chamber of people who don't understand anything, and it feels like the story is trying to support their shoddy, idealistic, and under-cooked viewpoints, what with Sunset getting so worked up and then we find out she's also an alicorn, which will no doubt wind up somehow validating what she's got to say even though it was total bupkis up until the point I had to stop before I blew a gasket at the impending further mistreatment of the only sensible person in the room to the praise of ignorant readers who would no doubt refuse good sense and logic as most always do.
The story title is so ironic that I can't see straight. Twilight feels she deserves more responsibility and more power, yet she makes decisions that save the lives of three enemies and could have doomed Equestria. She didn't even take precautionary measures. Sunset's not even in a position of authority, instead of making decisions she should have been advising Twilight as a friend, and considering Celestia actually groomed Sunset for politics and nation-ruling, Sunset should understand what they did wrong and that they got off so light that it wasn't even a smack on the wrist. Instead she went right along with this horribly stupid and feckless idea and defends it from the one person who knew better than them. Like an angry child. Which she is. So is Twilight. Both are angry children upset at having been told they can't have dessert and griping about how mean mom is.
7375710 Look, man. I said it once, I'll say it again. Drop the hostility toward other readers or stop commenting. I was under the impression you weren't going to keep reading to begin with. I respect your passion (and again, you're not wrong in a lot of your points), and you're completely entitled to your opinion and your ire with me is fine, but that venom with the rest is unacceptable. They're as entitled to their opinions as you are, and this particular public forum is under my jurisdiction so if you don't like it, don't speak.
You're about to 'blow a gasket' over mishandling of a character in a fanfiction (putting aside that it isn't even done yet). It doesn't matter that much. Relax.
7375941
There is no directed hostility towards individual readers (rather the echo chamber they created). The person who responded to me I have no ill will towards and have not attacked. I am, however, incensed that I could not stay with a story I was rather enjoying, having lost all immersion. I responded with further explanation of my thinking as to why that is. I do not even have a particular problem with you as a person, insomuch as how the story has turned out. Being jarred from a good read will put me somewhat on edge, which can be extended through continued responses.
If it was taken some other way, that is simple misunderstanding, which I will apologize for.
I had a particularly vitriolic reply posted to said previous individual's backhanded insult directed at the author. But frankly, he's not worth the time. He may try to impress by spouting high-verbiage trash like a Harlequin Romance author paid by the word, and trying to find that elusive fifteenth way of describing the moment, but I just don't care to spend the time dealing with it.
This story is excellent, and one of the best portrayals of post-graduation Sunset I've read on the site. Having written amateur fiction on and off since the eighties, I can appreciate how hard it is to get a roster of characters to sound like separate people. I hope this story runs many more chapters yet.
Oh, this is going to end in tears, and probably a lot of yelling. Celestia just can't ask Sunset directly about it? Well, she's probably still worried about Sunset's character, and her still hiding something after all these years. Asking Luna to poke around, this is going to end badly. Especially depending on how powerful Sunset is by now. Celestia means well, but even Luna can only guess how much Celestia is planning.
Really cute to see Twilight and Sunset move on to sort of dating, though I do wonder about that rock they left behind. Glad Sunset shut down that idea of Twilight trying alicorn magic on the strange thing. Though Sunset herself might be close to alicorn level already, and that was bad enough already. Curious to see if Twilight will have time to experiment on, er, with Sunset before things completely fall apart.
7376456 I don't want hostility directed toward anyone, especially in my name. I appreciate the kind words, but I don't want insults to another reader from any source, whatever the cause.
7376059 I believe I understand. Let's end this amicably; if you come across my work in the future I hope you enjoy it more then.
7377139
Of course. No offense to any one person was ever intended, so unless someone attempts to attack me a second time, I see no reason to end on anything other than a tranquil note. My frustration is vented, my viewpoint established, and my ideological differences with the vocal readership and characters gotten down and out.
I'll keep an eye out for you, Orpheon. For what it's worth coming from an avid reader and former writer, I'm glad you're writing a story people can enjoy together, even if I couldn't make the whole ride.
What the hell Twilight?!
7388750 It depends on the school in question, but as a rule American secondary education lasts for four years, yeah. Grades 9-12 are called freshman/sophomore/junior/senior (and I'll be honest, I don't get the nomenclature but I'm sure I could wiki it and find out why).
I can tell you thus that it sure ain't like they depict in media. Not sure where writers got this idea that high school is this relaxed experience where everyone's awake and having a good time, but in my experience among six different high schools you got up very early, were rushed to and from each class, had around twenty minutes to stand in line to get your food and eat it during lunch, and then were dumped with homework from a half dozen different classes that seemed to be unaware other classes also wanted you to use your home time on them.
I didn't have a lot of fun with it, anyway. Maybe other folks' experiences were different.
7388974
I think the experience differs a fair bit from person to person and school to school. I agree that it wasn't exactly a relaxed experience, but if you go to bed at a reasonable hour and don't participate in sports teams then it's not so bad. If you didn't have electives and/or the option for a free period it could be kind of crazy, though. Bringing my own lunch rather than waiting in line to buy something probably helped. Perhaps going to more than two separate schools affected your perceptions? Any time you change schools (even in college), there's a certain amount of stress involved in adjusting to a different place, different people, and different ways of doing things.
I can't say I had a lot of fun and aside from a club or two I didn't spend time with anyone outside of class, but it wasn't insanely busy or anything. I do think depictions of it in television stretch real-time by some positive factor though so the viewer has to process things a bit. I do have to agree on the conflicting homework schedules though. It's like teachers have some kind of sixth sense for due dates such that all kinds of assignments have due dates in close proximity to each other.
It's weird to see people slamming Celestia for acting in such a manner but in all reality this is how she should be acting. Yes Celestia did go too far when she was lecturing Twilight and Sunset regarding the decisions made with the Sirens but they were a credible threat. Now people's problem with Celestia lashing out like that well she practically raised both of them so thus she would treat them in such a way when she lost her composure. She would revert into the teacher/mother role when properly angered. As for her not trusting Sunset all the way, As for the whole trust issue Celestia did make some very good points from a ruler's perspective, she has to worry about her nation first and given what Sunset is capable of she is a credible threat. However her methods about finding out are all wrong, they have a mother/daughter relationship far greater than that of Twilight. If Celestia got straight to the point not as a ruler but as a mother concerned for her child's welfare Sunset would probably tell her and Celestia would understand and be greatly impressed by her leadership. As for the Alicorn thing and Sunset's feelings about it, I think Celestia would be ecstatic to hear about it, but at the same time respect her more than she did with Twilight regarding actually ascending. With Twilight Celestia saw it as the completion of her education, and with Sunset it would be seen as something forced upon her that she is hesitant to accept. The very nature of their relationships with Celestia influence her decisions. Also Celestia is prone to judgement errors herself and mistakenly didn't consider Twilight's feeling in the matter and jumped the gun. This is a different situation which Celestia has the ability to see how such a decision is affecting Sunset's mental health and thus might not jump the gun on the matter.
God DAMN, your characterization. I came into this expecting not much more than fluff, but you've got a lot more going in here, especially beneath the surface. So much nuanced characterization. I don't know if you intended this, but there's almost a tragic tone at this point, as if the heightened emotions seen here can't possibly go anywhere good. So much subtle tension, that it's easy to forgive how the romantic elements are becoming sorta shoved aside at points.
A little more problematic is that your plot has so many different strands at this point that it threatens to lose focus. Hopefully all of this ties together satisfyingly, but the warmth of the romantic elements is starting to clash with the underlying Sunset/Celestia conflict. Reeeaaaaally hoping you have a nice and satisfying resolution in here, but would that it were so simple. Good stuff regardless.
Interesting to me in this chapter is the contrast between Celestia and Sunset. For the most part, when Sunset intended to hurt someone, it was intentional, but Celestia seems to cause the most pain through her failures, as seen in the previous chapter with her failure to properly guide Twilight both before and after becoming an Alicorn. Time and time again, Celestia has hurt other ponies through her mistakes, and interestingly, a lot of these mistakes seem to stem from a failure to consider others' feelings and concerns. It must not be easy for her to live with so many having been hurt by her failures, and yet being a monarch for so long seems to have skewed her perspective, perhaps exactly because she fears failure. Compelling stuff here.
Fell off of reading for a few days, come back to realize I'm on the (current) penultimate chapter. I hope at very least that this next chapter has some romantic development between our favourite crepuscular mages, and maybe a bit of foreword into Luna's investigation of Sunset's dreams. ^^
But seriously though I need the Sunlight fluff, give it to meeee *om nom* :3
That should be vivisection unless Twilight murders Sunset first because dissection is done to dead things while vivisection is on living things.
While what Celestia is doing...... that is messed to hell. Really hating her, so will Sunset when she learns. Horribly though Celestia never agreed to talk to Sunset bluntly when Luna finds something, which she will. Kinda hoping Luna stays quiet though.
7761103 You're correct; my shame is infinite. I will endeavor to catch my writing more carefully as I go.
Unless Twilight is saying something even more sinister than normal
I was tossing and turning in delight because of the fluff, it really made me happy
But Celestia, whyyyyy? Have a little faith in your so-called beloved-daughter. Her actions and decisions really irks me