• Member Since 29th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Mar 4th, 2018

Typographical Error


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Twilight and her friends have reached their new home. But, what has 100 years asleep done to the colony down below? Why were they unable to be rescued? Have all their hopes and dreams been for nothing? And is it as safe heaven they had been expecting?

If you haven't read the first part 'Among the Stars", I would read that first. You might not understand if you don't.

As usual, cover made my my friend, gifted with MAD Photoshop skills, Pinkamena Diane Pie.

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 100 )

sequel out? nice

Very nice. Can't wait for the next chapter.

683317 Well, I hope you like it! It has seemed to have received a...less than warm welcome by some readers. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_cry.png

Well, the way it jumps between the "Commander" and Twilight can be a little confusing. I'm assuming that his parts are from the past, but they could present or future as well. Other than that I can't see why people would give it a thumbs down. Don't get discouraged, the thumbs ups will come, in time.

Regrettably, I have to cook dinner. Read later list it goes.

684674 I have no qualms about this fic, other than my ponysona's name is Moonfire, not Moon Fire; I saw a few grammar errors as well but will not piont them out:trollestia:

Cant wait for the next chapter! How long do you expect this to be?

686952 A week, maybe 2. I still have other things to write.

scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4924-tumblr_m2jfa5xJcO1r3k1m8o1_500.png I have been waiting for this but just my luck I have no internet at my house I was able to read today cause I am at my step Dads house cause we are going fishing in the morning it make me sad not knowing if I will have the internet turned back on when you post chapter two. Anyways it was awesome a few words was doubled here and there but it was good. I love it :heart: Keep up the very good work.

100 years later? Ain't it 400 years later?! :pinkiecrazy:

690315 OK, let me clarity it. 400 years, they were on the ship. But it was supposed to be 15 years before they reached the colony, since they had been asleep for 300 years already. Then, all that stuff last story happened, and they were delayed. THAT, is the 400 years.

690468

The spaceship was all the time there ,they discovered that when they got out from the ship. So it can't be 100 years later....

Well anyway I can't force you to change things ,it's just I get sometimes that crazy 'Everything must be perfect' side of Twilight. :pinkiecrazy:

Hope ya aren't mad at me. :scootangel:

690495 Not mad, but I did say it was 100 years later in AtS. When Whooves and Twilight got on the bridge, Whooves sees the internal clock and it is 100 years overdue....


“It’s terrible, that’s what it is.” he said, turning around to face her. “We haven’t been here for almost three hundred years. It has been much longer than that.”

“How long?” Twilight asked, afraid to hear the answer.

“We have been here for almost four hundred years.” Twilight’s heart dropped out of her chest. She couldn’t believe it. One hundred years, adrift?

“That explains why we woke up.” Whooves said, starting to pace. “The ship is old. A century older than it should be. "

Sorry, this is my OCD.

690549

OCD = Original Character Design?

690672 Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I have to prove myself right, if I know I am.

690963

Eeyup ,your writing skill has got some skill points :rainbowlaugh:

Wow really excited! I just read Among the Stars, and it's my 2nd favorite fanfic, being beaten by My Little Dashie (:fluttershysad::applecry::pinkiesad2::raritycry:) anyways, extremely excited! *Side note, how did you get those emoticons with the sunglasses? (Question for Doctor Okami)

695309 It is a script that you have to instal through greasemonkey on Firefox. Here is the link! Epicness You will need greasemonkey first, though! And thank you for liking Among the Stars. Yes, My Little Dashie does beat it. I still tear up from that!

Thanks, and anyways... GREAT STORY! I know I said it already, but Among the Stars was amazing. loved the story, the mystery, and everything about it. I could easily picture everything going on in it. I also like how you made the characters act how they would've in their showdl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/discord.png Though I am a bit confused about moonfire and the ship. I read the top comments and I'm a bit confused still. I dont really read much Sci-Fi but i understand STL and everything else about it. Was the ship presumed lost and them presumed dead with a new ship coming? Or did the colony itself start 100 years later as well.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Derpy_Hooves.png

697908 Presumed length of travel was 300 years to the new colony. The first ship, before New beginnings, was sent about 15 years earlier. They landed and began to colonize. But here is the part most people didn't get. New Beginnings malfunctioned. It didn't unfreeze them when they got to the planet. So they were stuck for 100 more years in Cryo. Now, why didn't the colony just rescue them? You will have to find out? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_rainbowkiss_flip.png

703467 Cause I am still writing it. And with summer here, I am a little more lazy than usual.

704877 Yeah, I shouldn't rush perfection... And I definitely understand the whole summer lazy thing. I was just joking around, but I am very anxious to find out what happens next, you definitely have me hooked!

708453 Just FYI, I finished it at about 11 last night. So I am probably going to spend the next day or two reading it over and editing it. So look forward to it by the weekend!

Very interesting. Can't wait to see what they find as they explore the colony.

(O_O) ... interesting .... more .....

I WAANT MORE! !!!!! ...... please

dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_rainbowderp_flip.png WHAT A TWIST!!! Great story! That really explained everything well, as well as tell them problems that may arise in the future. I wonder if there are any ponies left... Also I found 2 mistakes, but both very small. Just to help you, here they are. "They were sore, but she could move them. She gave him a week nod." That is the wrong type of week. It's supposed to be "weak" and last of all (wow only two flaws! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Cloudchaser_dealwithit.png that's awesome!) is: "My future wasn’t out here, light-years from home, where I can’t even see my own star anymore. Mo, my future wasn’t out here. My death was." The second to last sentence, "No" is misspelled. Which is easy to do seeing as"N" and "M" are right next to each other. Anyways, this was completely brilliant!dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Vinyl_Scratch_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Celestia.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Derpy_Hooves_lolface.png

723014 Thank you! And thank you for pointing out my misspellings. I went over this once or twice to catch the mistakes, but those slipped through.

that...
was...
unusually foreboding coming from me.
I fear where you are taking them:fluttershbad:

Damn good I can't wait for more ......but I would have to has I don't have internet at my house I have to stay at my step dads. Anyway I love it.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Bonbon_OMG_LOVE.png

Can't wait for more! I'm so very glad I decided to give this a read. Will you continue the split narrative between the past and present or are you done with that now its revealed everypony(or most everypony died)?

Now I've actually read the chapter(instead of just replying to a comment), I repeat what I said earlier "Oooooh...your good...:pinkiehappy:".


I wonder if that's LG frozen from what I assume was some sort of cryo-stasis chamber.

The more chapters go by, the more nervous I get about that 'tragedy' tag. I keep expecting them to start dropping like flies any time now.:fluttershyouch:

Im sure the diseas is pretty much dead besides in the labratories and i wonder if there are anymore ponies because there were two otheres left lg didnt mention them dieing.great chapter and im sure the mistakes were because he was either in a rush because of his new comp. Or excited because of his new com.

Dude u gonna need to change it to romance if u gonna have them go smoochy smoochy



Hahaha:rainbowlaugh: :pinkiehappy:

767509 of course it's LG, what other pony could it be?:rainbowhuh:
770000 well, that WOULD be one way the tag can be justified:moustache:but I think it's because they are trapped on a planet with a deadly virus with no way of getting back to equestria (if it even exists in this time). I don't know about you, but I would call that a tragedy in and of itself (although I kinda wish I was there instead of doctor Whooves (if you know what I mean)).

772636 Some freaky zombie pony thi-Oh wait that's FO:E...

772712 yeah, I don't read the FO crossovers for two reasons:
1. I find them to be... disturbing, to say the least.
2. Don't like the idea of ponies having nukes.

772712>>772731 Yay!! It's been a while since people have debated in my comments. That hasn't happened since AtS, so this is welcomed! Continuedl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia.png

772731 Well I find the stories(the ones I've read at least) to be quite compelling if you can get past the ideas of the ponies having a nuclear conflict and the survivors 200 years later usually brutally killing each other. Because in each one I have read, Harmony triumphs and everypony comes together to make a better world(hasn't happened in PH yet though it has started).

772844 Next time we'll try to debate something more relevant to your awesome fic.

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