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Searching for an Adventure

Marble Pie spend her entire life on the rock farm of her parents. Farming rocks every day isn't the most exciting life, but it was always good enough for the small earth pony. When she was looking for a good book in the library, she started to wonder how the world outside the farm would look like. This one thought sparked a curiousness inside her she never knew, and it turnes her life into a direction she'd have never imagined.

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Comments ( 3 )

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Manaphy

Manaphy #1 · Nov 1st, 2015 · 1 · ·

A story starring Marble Pie? Interesting. You definitely have my attention.

Anyway, I did notice a few misplaced commas and some punctuation mistakes in the dialogue. When adding a dialogue tag to the end of a quote, you use a comma as opposed to a period. Question marks and exclamation points remain unchanged when they're used. Nothing major or anything, but it's something to keep in mind for the future.

Anyway, best of luck on this and all of your future projects. I can tell you've improved since you first started.

ChocolateFan25

ChocolateFan25 #2 · Nov 1st, 2015 · 1 · ·

6590111
Thanks for your input. I appreciate it.

Well, I didn't put much attention towards the grammar. The NaNoWriMo is about getting out ideas and it's even encouraged to write for the sake of writing. I do care about good writing and I also have a rough sketch, so I don't write myself into a corner, but I planned to do all the fine editing when I'm done with the story.

Again, thanks for your kind words.

Manaphy